A First Time For Everything
by Miztical-Dragon
Summary: A collection of various short stories based on our beloved couple Rin and Sesshomaru.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: If I owned InuYasha, Rin and Sesshomaru would have been making it like jackrabbits already!

Yes, I know, I have yet another story, but this technically will not be a long story. It's more or less many one-shots featuring Rin and Sesshomaru put into one nicely wrapped present. I got the idea at work (where most of my other ideas spring from) and so all of the short stories here will have a song which they were thought up with. No it's not a songfic, but the said songs inspired the tiny love snippet and it makes me giggle to see how I can twist a beautiful song into one of my angsty story plots.

_**WARNING!!!:**_ These stories contain strong violence, sexual situations, and/or dirty pouty mouthed people. If you are easily offended or do not like such material please go ride on your little pretty pink ponies and go fly back over to the innocent side of the rainbow! There's a reason why it's rated "M" children!

So please enjoy!

**A First Time for Everything **

**By Miztikal-Dragon**

_"Maybe baby we should sleep on it" _--- Tim McGraw

The moving truck stopped and silently she watched it from the window. Somehow it was coming down to this and it left her with a heavy heart. The large condo was stacked to the roof with brown boxes and clear packing tape, tiny Styrofoam peanuts littering the wooden floor. It hadn't seemed long ago that the boxes were being put inside rather than being taken out and it made tears blind her vision.

It was all over and this time it looked like the puzzle pieces were to warped and broken to be put back into place and she couldn't do anything to stop it. By the end of the day the only thing that would be left of her home was a few boxes and an enormous duffle bag filled with the remainder of her belongings; the last overnight bag in an empty condo she would never be able to live in again. Well at least happily that is.

"What's first?" A man in a dull gray moving uniform asked, his bushy eyebrows furrowing as his partner looked around the room.

"The boxes and furniture from the bedrooms," she replied wiping away the falling moisture from her eyes. "It's maybe a trip and a half more. I'll be able to get the rest of the boxes in my truck."

The overweight dark haired man merely rolled his eyes and began to do what he was being paid to do, move things. They worked slowly, but efficiently and Rin found herself sitting on the kitchen countertop, a glass half filled with red wine in her hand and a far away gaze in her eyes. It was really happening, she was leaving and yet it didn't feel as good as she thought it would. Here she was getting on with her life after two years of heartache, finding a new path to follow but it was as if she was going to meet the executioner.

A part of her wanted to run and stop the movers, to have them bring back all the boxes and furniture and forget about the very thought of being alone, but another part told her she couldn't go back to that place again. The rooms were steadily growing emptier and all she could do was sip her drink, her socked feet swinging back and forth almost rhythmically.

How did it come down to this? She asked herself listening to the ticking of the plastic clock hanging above the doorway. When did it all fall apart and the things she loved began feeling empty? When did things go bad? Where did they go so horribly wrong?

Sighing heavily Rin hopped off the countertop and placed the now empty glass in the sink. All of the televisions and other electronic devices were already in the moving van and all the light bulbs to the lamps wrapped in bubble wrap and tucked away with all the other glass kitchenware. The scenery surrounding her was too depressing and it only served to bring back bitter memories she wished she didn't have. If they'd been some nasty dream instead of the harsh reality she could have lived with it; she could have been happy for the rest of her life.

"The buyers will be here by Friday," a cold baritone voice said sternly pulling her from her thoughts.

Turning to face the new person, Rin wished that she had another glass of wine to distract her instead of her own thoughts. Sesshomaru stood like a statue in the doorway, his expensive jacket in his arms and his long silver hair falling like a shinning waterfall over his shoulders and down his chest and back. He was a face she'd spent the last six years of her life waking up next to and just looking at him brought sharp pains to her chest.

"I know," she whispered turning her back to him in order to keep the tears in her eyes from showing. "All my things should be out by tomorrow so don't strain yourself worrying about it."

"Don't start Rin," it was a warning she'd heard more and more in the past few months and it tore at her heart and made her angry.

"Start what Sesshomaru?" She growled spinning around to glare at him. "Don't start telling you the truth? Or don't start crying? You have to be more specific or how do you expect this child of a woman to understand!"

Sesshomaru let no expression on his face show and it made Rin even more furious. How could he be so cold to her when at one point the said that he loved her? Was he always going to be nothing but a decidedly cold man destroying any happiness that he could touch? What happened to the Sesshomaru she knew and why was he replaced with the inhumane monster in front of her? Why did things have to come down to this?

"We are not having this conversation again Rin, it's childish and everything that I have to say has already been said."

"Well I'm not done yet! Do you think I want to fight with you? That I want to leave this place. I don't want to stop loving you because you suddenly decide I'm not good enough!" She was practically screaming at him but the words just flew from her mouth. "Don't you walk away from me when I'm talking to you!"

Angrily she chased after Sesshomaru. This wasn't how she imagined things would turn out but she'd be dammed before she let him walk away from her when there was still so much left unsaid. Her socked feet slid over the wooden floor and she grabbed onto the wall as she righted herself; she couldn't let him leave like this, she didn't want him to go.

Grabbing his dress shirt, Rin pulled him back and glared at him through angry brown eyes. This couldn't be real it had to be some sick nightmare. "I'm not done talking!"

"Rin," he gave no emotions, no mercy as he stared down at her coldly, but she knew he was irritated. She saw it in the way the vein in his forehead twitched. "Let go."

"No!" She wasn't ready to give up yet. "Not until you tell me the real reason why you're doing your damndest to destroy what we have together!"

"Had Rin, what we had and I've already told you. I won't repeat myself."

"God dammit Sesshomaru just tell me!" She pulled at his sleeve but he stood there in front of her like a statue. "Is it because I'm not good enough? Because you just don't care for me like you used to? Have I done something horribly wrong to push away? I don't understand unless you tell me! I'm not some fucking mind reader!"

His large hands began to pry her own tiny ones from his shirt and Rin could do nothing but fight him back, no matter how childish or pathetic she looked.

"I have work to do," he was getting angry now but she didn't care. "I don't have time to be playing around with you. Stop being difficult."

"All you do now is work!" She growled pushing away his hands and pulling at the fine collar of his shirt. "Or is this all because of work?"

For the last two years she'd been feeling lonelier than normal. Sesshomaru was spending so much more time at the office instead of home that it had been slowly killing her. She refused to let the tears fall as she screamed at him and when all the words seemed to run dry something in her mind clicked and she felt her blood run cold. How could she have been so blind.

"This is all because of her isn't it?" Rin accused viciously, if there had still been things left to throw she would have already flung them at his head. "All of this is happening because of that sleazy bitch!"

"Watch your mouth Rin," he growled dangerously.

"Fuck you!" She yelled, "that's it isn't it Sesshomaru? You've been seeing that woman Kagura from the office!" She wanted to laugh and forced it roughly from her mouth but she could still feel the world around her shattering. "You should have told me sooner instead of making me miserable Sesshomaru! That way I could have killed all the love I felt for you the way you did for me when you put your dick between that whore's legs!"

Growling Sesshomaru practically ripped Rin's fingers from his shirt and shoved her back. She didn't have enough time to react as she stumbled back, her feet slipping out from underneath her and sending her crashing to the ground, the side of her head cracking against the round coffee table that a moment ago seemed further away. Rin crumpled in a heap on the wooden floor and the silence around them was deafening.

Carefully Sesshomaru went to Rin's side and kneeled over her, his hand touching her shoulder only for her to flinch away from his touch. "Don't touch me."

She sounded broken but she didn't care. If he wanted to go so badly then she'd just have to let him. Besides who was she to try and get in his way if he would rather be with another instead of her. She got the picture and even though it hurt worse than anything else she'd experienced, it was apparent that holding on was no longer an option she had left.

"Rin,"

"Just go Sesshomaru," her voice was soft and it trembled. "Just go and leave me. It's what you wanted anyway."

The warmth brought by his closeness disappeared and silently Rin listened to his footsteps until the door closed and they faded from her ears. Her head was splitting yet the only thing she could do was curl up into a ball and cry. If it wasn't over before it definitely was now and she wasn't too sure if she would be able to go one with her life. She laid there for a while wondering when the movers would come back but when she opened her eyes the room was growing dark, their job was over after five.

Rin slowly pulled herself to her feet, heeling out of her socks and sniffling as she wiped away the wet tracks of moisture from her cheeks. There were a few candles and she lit one so she wouldn't have to stumble around in the dark. She only had one night left and in the morning the rest of her belongings would be gone and so would she. Rin didn't want to think about it because honestly goodbye didn't feel right, not when it came to Sesshomaru and even despite everything that happened and everything said and done, she still loved him.

With only the single candle lit, Rin made her way to the bathroom, she was mentally exhausted and at the moment a bath seemed like the perfect solution to all her aches and pains. Steam from the hot water soothed her and leaving the candle on the sink counter, Rin slowly removed her clothes and tossed them onto the floor. They were dirty, hell she was dirty and the thought of the clean clothes in her bulging duffel bag brought a sad smile to her face.

The hot water stung but felt good against her skin and as Rin settled herself in the tub she sighed heavily. All she needed was something time to get her priorities straightened out and to relax; then she'd be able to think more rationally and get one with her life. It wasn't long until Rin was beginning to unwind to the point that she began feeling numb all over. She would have climbed out of the tub but she didn't want to get up and soon enough her eyes drooped and she drifted off into a light sleep.

"Rin," a soft familiar voice tickled her ears and she frowned. "Rin, wake up." 

Rin groaned tiredly as a pair of strong hands lifted her and she heart the sound of splashing water as well as felt the chill of the air on her and it was then she realized she was naked. Blinking her eyes rapidly, she pressed herself closer to the warmth surrounding her until the hazy clouded feeling fled and she found herself staring into a pair of molten amber eyes.

"You shouldn't take baths when you're tired," he still had an edge to his voice but Rin didn't reply, she was tired of fighting.

Sesshomaru carried Rin to the empty bedroom and set her down on the air mattress he picked up at the store. His shirt was soaking wet and without thinking he unbuttoned it and pulled it off his shoulders. Rin's duffel bag lay unzipped and a few feet away and he rummaged through it pulling out one of his shirts, his head turning to glance back at her with his eyebrows raised. She merely shrugged sheepishly and blushed catching the soft material as he tossed it at her.

"So why'd you come back?" Rin asked defiantly as she slipped on the shirt and slowly began the task of buttoning it. "I thought for sure you'd be with her."

"Someone has to make sure you don't accidentally kill yourself," he replied coldly walking over to her and brushing away her hands. "I know how you are when you're overdramatic."

"Dammit Sesshomaru," she snapped closing her eyes. "Why do you always do that? Huh? Why is it somehow always my fault when things go wrong?"

"Why do you always assume the worst when your upset?" He questioned, his hand cupping her cheek and his thumb caressing the cold flesh.

Rin sniffled trying not to allow herself to lean into his touch. "Because if I don't then it's always so much worse than I expected. I don't want to be hurt anymore Sesshomaru, but I don't want to lose you either."

"I'm sorry," she thought he meant he was sorry for hurting her or maybe that no matter what was done she would still be losing him in the end and the control over her tears broke.

His large hands slid to her upper arms and she hung her head as she sobbed. It would be any moment now and then he would release her and walk out of her life forever. No more waking up wrapped tightly in his strong arms or braiding his hair as he sat on the floor watching the history channel at night. The games of chess or soft kisses or her quiet pillow talk of a family, it was already too far out of her reach.

She didn't expect it as Sesshomaru's lips crashed over hers, his entire body demanding for her to submit and eagerly she complied. Her hands clutched him, her emotions pouring into their kiss until he pulled away, her chest heaving heavily.

He needed her and Rin could only blush as he removed the rest of his clothing, his large hands slipping underneath the shirt she wore and gently teasing her senselessly. Rin gasped loudly as she was lowered to the air mattress, Sesshomaru's lips and fingers touching her, worshipping every inch of her and igniting a fire in her belly she thought had been extinguished.

Together, their passions rose and fell and Rin thought she would die as her mind became overwhelmed with wanton feelings. When it was over and both Rin and Sesshomaru were spent, the silver haired man pulled Rin into his arms and held her tight. It had seemed like forever ago since she felt this complete and with a smile on her face, Rin drifted off into a deep dreamless sleep. Sesshomaru, however, was not graced with sleep and quietly he waited until he was positive Rin wouldn't wake up before he climbed out of the bed, quickly dressing and walked out the door. Not once looking back.

It was well after midday before Rin woke up and even then she tossed and turned trying her hardest to go back to sleep. A pain in her side throbbed as well as the one in her head and grumbling, Rin rolled over and off the air mattress. Although, instead of rolling directly onto the floor, she cried out as she crashed to the floor with a loud thump. Pulling herself up with the help of the tall mattress, Rin walked over to her dresser and pulled out a pair of underwear and mesh pants and slipped them on.

Her brain still hadn't had a jumpstart and she yawned loudly, wiping away the sleep from her eyes. She needed some coffee. The smell of food had her leaving the bedroom and her stomach growled. A part of her wanted to go crawl back into her comfy bed, but hunger had settled in and it had to be satisfied before anything else. Entering the kitchen, Rin rubbed her eyes coming up behind the silver haired beauty standing over the stove, a spatula in one hand and a package of bacon in the other.

Tiredly she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his back until he turned around a soft chuckle leaving his lips. "Good morning Rin."

"Mmmmm coffee," she grumbled as Sesshomaru's lips met hers and she instantly melted, her legs turning to jelly as he devoured her mouth.

Long arms wrapped around her and lifted her onto the countertop and Rin wasted no time wrapping her legs around his waist and clawing at the buttons on his shirt, it felt so perfect.

"Hey Sesshomaru where do you want this?" The voice was InuYasha's and Rin's eyes snapped open and everything from the night before came rushing back seeing InuYasha and Miroku carrying in a huge bookcase.

"Second room on the left," he answered not once taking his eyes off Rin.

"Sesshomaru?" She asked confused. "W-what's going on?"

The couches were sitting in the living room as well as the entertainment center and all of it's appliances. Everything was out of their boxes and set back up as if nothing had ever been packed up in the beginning. She was just about speechless as Sesshomaru drew her into another kiss, a genuine smirk on his face.

"I don't want to lose you either."

_**The End.**_

**E/N: **_Well that's the end to my first short story. The next one should be out by tomorrow night, I have to go to my cousins birthday thing and I couldn't get out of it. The next one is already completely written out and waiting patiently for the giggles because that's what I did while writing it, but I'm a loser. _

_What's next? "Numb"_

_Until then, fun fun! _

-Krystal-


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: If I owned InuYasha, Rin and Sesshomaru would have been making it like jackrabbits already!

I don't know why, but when ever I do stories like this one I always imagine "The Beautiful People" by Marylin Manson playing or something similar like Puddle of Mudd, or maybe Aiden. The kind of music that screams head banging and mosh pits. Don't get me wrong, other kinds of techno and jumpy beats are just as awesome, but typing this up I listened to "The Beautiful People" and it just fit with the club scene. Makes me wish Edgefest was closer!

_**WARNING!!!:**_ These stories contain strong violence, sexual situations, and/or dirty pouty mouthed people. If you are easily offended or do not like such material please go ride on your little pretty pink ponies and go fly back over to the innocent side of the rainbow! There's a reason why it's rated "M" children!

So please enjoy!

**A First Time for Everything **

**By Miztikal-Dragon**

_"Numb" _-- Pink

"Hit me!" She called out loudly over the blaring music and the growing crowd around her cheered as the bartender placed a shot of tequila and one of whiskey on the bar.

The music was loud and deafening but she bobbed her head to the hypnotic tune as she quickly downed one shot after another. It had originally been a girl's night out and how it turned into a drinking competition she wasn't sure.

The black haired stranger in front of her looked about ready to pass out and despite normally being alight weight, she had already won against a pro. Maybe it was the booming beat of jamming guitars, drums, and the synthesizers playing or maybe the need to break free from her reserved shell, but whatever it was, she was all for more of it.

Sango and Kagome left the club about an hour before the liquor started raining down Rin's throat and if she had to guess it was somewhere around one-thirty in the morning. And even if the club she was in closed, a few of the people around her were talking about going to one that never closed and she was interested in going.

One round of shots later the black haired man was being dragged away by a few of his friends and Rin was shoving the money bet into her bra and laughing loudly as a glass of beer appeared in her hand. Chugging it as quickly as possible Rin spun and headed toward the tightly dancing crowd, weaving her way into the middle of it as the music and alcohol flooded into her veins.

Rin was breathing heavily, singing obnoxiously to the song playing from the speakers, her humming body grinding against another's. She couldn't feel anything but the hands on her hips as her body swayed and the splash of liquid as it ran down her hand from the plastic cup she was now somehow holding. She laughed as another body pressed up close from behind her, hot breath on her neck; it was all so much fun that she couldn't quite remember exactly what was going on.

The mood of the music was different, more twangy and she realized that instead of hard rock and techno she'd been jamming to earlier, now it was either country or R & B . When had she left the other club? She asked herself sipping what she assumed was beer in the plastic cup.

She didn't want to stop dancing, she wanted to live the nightlife forever. It was better that way and besides, she liked it better than she did her pathetic normal life. In the nightlife there were no overbearing ex-boyfriends, no demanding friends or work and tests, she was free to do as she pleased when she pleased and nothing else.

There was just the booze, music, dancing, and the having a good time and there were no expectations. It was a life Rin craved for. Her heart was pounding almost painfully in her chest and Rin weaved herself away from the dance floor, all the while trying hard not to stumble and fall. She was having fun she kept telling herself and holding onto the bar, she ordered another drink; a pair of wandering hands slipping around her waist and a hot mouth nibbling on her exposed neck.

She tried holding back her moan and when she opened her eyes she was suddenly in a dark corner, hands all over her, pinching and teasing. It was blinding, the pleasure and for the life of her she couldn't figure out what was going on. How was she forgetting things? Was she blacking out for minutes at a time?

The sound of her thin tank top ripping brought her back to reality and the cowboy hat she'd acquired at one point fell from her head. She tried crying out as teeth bit her chest, bruising her flesh, hands sliding down her opened jeans but the only thing that came out was a garbled moan. What was happening to her? She felt hazy and suddenly sick to her stomach, and almost immediately the nightlife wasn't as great as she originally thought it was. The thought of things possibly getting out of hand closed up her throat and she gasped for air practically clawing at her throat until she was shoved and surrounded by cold air.

Rin stumbled, tripping over her own feet and she felt the tears burning her eyes. Her shirt was torn open and her jeans were barely hanging on her hips but instead of falling as she tried to stand up, a pair of arms held her steady. Her vision was blurry but the hands merely dusted her off, buttoning and zipping up her pants before placing the cowboy hat back on her head.

"Next time I think you'll think twice before you go partying with trash and without your inhaler." She knew she should have recognized the voice as a jacket was draped over her shoulders and she was lead down the street.

"I do have my inhaler," she said, her words slurred by her drunkenness. "It's in my purse."

"And where pray tell is this missing object?" He asked emotionlessly.

"It's in Kagome's car, DUH!" She stumbled again, her hands grabbing at the strange man's arms to keep herself standing.

He laughed at her and she found herself drawn to the deep baritone sound. "And where's Kagome?"

Rin stopped in front of a car parked on the side of the road and the man gently helped her get seated in the passenger's seat, his body leaning over hers as he buckled her in and Rin's mouth ran dry. She though long and hard about his question and when the car sparked to life and the street lights started rolling by it hit her.

"Kagome went home," captain obvious finally arrives she told herself giggling. "Oh… I- I forgot she left."

"You seemed to forget a lot of things," he told her keeping his eyes on the road. "Just how much have you had to drink? You smell like alcohol."

Looking over at him Rin inhaled deeply but could only smell nothing other than the sweet smell of cologne that her mystery man wore. He was gorgeous and if she hadn't been intoxicated she would have blushed at the look he gave her from a pair of stoic amber eyes. His long silver hair was braided and hung over his shoulder, his white button down collared shirt looked like it was silk and immediately she knew that he was someone important.

"Well you smell yummy!" She whispered letting her hand slide over his thigh feeling the soft material of his pants. "So let's call it a night and get drunk!"

His chuckles filled her head and she decided that whoever he was, Rin wanted him. It couldn't have just been the alcohol talking because she could feel something building in the pit of her stomach and whatever it was she needed for it to be released. The feeling made her squirm in her seat and she heard him say they were almost there, but where were they going? Where was he taking her and why did she not care about anything besides the aching need growing steadily in her abdomen.

At one point or another the car stopped and her mystery man unbuckled her and her urge was past the point of no return. Her stumbling grew worse and after a fit of giggles from her and a few choice curse words from him, Rin was slung over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes and carried up a decent amount of stairs. By the time he set her back down she managed to worm her way out of the jacket and her tank top, her long ebony hair falling over her bare shoulders like a waterfall of night.

She didn't wait for him to pull away before her mouth crashed over his, her fingers holding his head as she kissed him. His first reaction was to yield, pushing her up against a close by wall and devour her, effortlessly fanning the flames growing inside her.

His thigh parted her legs rubbing against her intimately and Rin moaned as she ripped his shirt open, the sounds of buttons popping off making her giggle. Rin groaned as he pulled away, ordering her to the bathroom to shower and pouting as she went Rin let a smile form on her lips. It didn't matter if he said no, Rin wanted him badly, and she'd be damned if she didn't get him.

The hot shower drained away a lot of the hazy drunken feeling, but it did nothing to cure her ache. She knew it wasn't her home and she realized why the mystery man looked so familiar; it was the silver hair and amber eyes. Kagome's fiancée had the same features and she silently wondered if they were related or if it was just some weird coincidence.

Not bothering to towel dry, Rin left the bathroom, droplets of water soaking into the carpet and sliding down her naked flesh. She was too hot to put on anything and spying silver hair, she calmly walked to where he sat on the couch; his attention engrossed in a large book. Licking her lips she stopped in front of him, her knees touching his and when he glanced up, his amber eyes glazed over.

"Rin," his voice was husky and she liked the sound of it, it gave her chills. "You're naked."

"I know," she slid onto his lap and tossed the book onto the floor where it was forgotten.

"You should go get dressed," he was talking behind clenched teeth. "We can't - you're drunk."

Despite his words his hands found their way to her hips and Rin couldn't help but arch against him. "If it makes you uncomfortable you can tell InuYasha and the rest of them I raped you."

His husky chuckle made her eager and claiming his lips in a demanding kiss, she worked his pants free from their buttons, zipper, and belt before sliding onto with a loud sigh. His groan was music to her ears and she ate it up as his hands slid up her torso and cupped her breasts. It was like a damn was broken as she rode him, her body arching and his bucking almost wildly.

Even when she thought it was over, he surprised her by his stamina and her chest heaved violently as she crashed, her entire body humming and numb; his head resting on her shoulder, soft chuckles being stolen from his mouth by his panting. Exhausted by the night's event's Rin drifted off to sleep on her still a mystery man, his silver hair entwined between her fingers. She would have gladly gone again, but the only thing on her mind and in her dreams was that she wasn't going to let him slip through her fingers, not yet at least.

The sound of a door opening and something hitting the ground brought Rin from her unconsciousness and she groaned at the pounding of her head and the aching of her calves; she'd slept in a funny position again. A hand ran over her hip and sitting back Rin realized that the man underneath her wasn't looking at her but at something behind her. Curiously, she gazed over her shoulder and cried out trying to cover her naked flesh, not to mention regretting crying out as her head began to throb.

"Jesus Sesshomaru," InuYasha swore picking up the bags of groceries he dropped. "Kagome's going to shit a littler of kittens when she gets up here. She asked you to bring Rin home not have sex with her on our couch!"

"Whose having sex on our couch?" InuYasha and Rin both paled hearing Kagome's voice.

And all Sesshomaru could do was smirk, it made things more interesting.

**The End**

E/N: Okay I know this one was a lot shorter than the previous one, but I had sooooo much more fun with this story. There might even be a spin off somewhere down the lines because I just love the subject. Besides, I've always figured either Rin or Sango would be the slutty drunks and since these are all Rin/Sesshomaru stories I thought I'd try this.

THANK YOU! For all the reviews left so far! I loves them, my precious! lol I think the next short story will either be "Cool Thing" or "Once Upon a Time". I should have the next one posted sometime throughout the week, maybe Friday or Saturday. So please keep me entertained with reviews and I'll entertain you with more Rin/Sesshomaru smut-awesomeness. I think it's a fair trade!

Go feed your nearest Authoress and shower her with love. GO!

-Krystal-


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: If I owned InuYasha, Rin and Sesshomaru would have been making it like jackrabbits already!

Well I lied about a few things, one of which happens to deal with which story I posted next, but this one was bothering me and I couldn't get it out of my brain till I finally wrote it out. I think I have a thing for angsty then happy, angsty then happy. lol So we'll just have to see what I come up with next I guess.

This short stoy is more PG or PG-13ish rated so sorry folks, and it's another reason why I said I lied, but once you read it you'll understand what I mean. I just thought it was too sweet and sad to leave out of this so you must suffer! lol well not really, but still.

_**WARNING!!!:**_ These stories contain strong violence, sexual situations, and/or dirty pouty mouthed people. If you are easily offended or do not like such material please go ride on your little pretty pink ponies and go fly back over to the innocent side of the rainbow! There's a reason why it's rated "M" children!

So please enjoy!

**A First Time for Everything **

**By Miztikal-Dragon**

_"Big Girls Don't Cry" --Fergie_

_"I can't Kohaku," she cried trying hard to keep her composure in front of her childhood sweetheart. "I don't want to settle for this small town and have a small town life. I want more."_

_"I can give you more!" He didn't want to give her up, he loved her too much that he couldn't bare the thought of a life without her. _

_Shooting to her feet, Rin outstretched her arms wide and lifted her eyes to the sky. "But I want the world Kohaku. I want to explore, try new things and get as far away possible from this routine life. I want it all and more Kohaku, I want it more than anything else and if I don't do this for myself then I'll die!"_

_"You won't die," he was practically pleading now, pulling her hands into his own. "Why don't you give this life a try? Why do you want to give up what you have so badly?" _

_She wanted to yell and scream at him until he got it through his thick skull, but yelling at him with anger would be like punching a baby in the stomach. Kohaku was just too clueless about everything. Here he was almost twenty-three years old but still nothing but a junior high boy at heart, and the worst part was that it was killing her to see the confused hurt look in his eyes. But she couldn't stay and be miserable for him, she was too selfish to sacrifice herself like that, not just for Kohaku but for anyone. _

_"Please Kohaku - please try to understand," Rin was near desperation, tears filling her eyes. "There's nothing in this town for me. No family, no place to call my own and there's only so much someone can ever expect to do here and I don't want limitations. _

_"Kohaku, I wanna be able to reach out and take a star if it moves me. I wanna create something so big that the entire world will think of me as a force to be reckoned with. I want potential, adventure, I wanna meet new people who don't know anything about my fits or my family's past. I want a fresh start."_

_"So then what am I Rin?" He asked angrily, his hands clenching into tight fists. "Am I not enough fit in with your vision of a new life? Am I just someone you love and leave, if you even loved me to begin with."_

_She could feel the tremors building in her legs, but she refused to let it get the best of her. IF she didn't calm down she was going to let Kohaku bully her and let herself be worked into another nasty fit. It wasn't fair that he was allowed to be bitter about what she wanted to do with her life, especially when she couldn't find the heart to tell him how she really felt._

_ Sure she loved him, she loved him with all her heart; he was always there for her no matter what the circumstances, but it wasn't the passionate lose your breath and borderline fainting that she craved. _

_At one time she imagined marrying him and living the simple life with a four bedroom house, white picket fence, and two-point-five kids, and even a dog, but time changed people and it had changed Rin. She wasn't some parentless child anymore holding the hand of a boy, she was a young lady chasing after her dreams._

_ Lowering her head, her long ebony hair slid over her shoulders hiding her eyes from Kohaku. Why after so many years did he pick then to be so damn stubborn? Why not earlier when she needed him to be the most? Some people said "better late than never", but not for Rin in this case, not now. _

_"Don't you ever say something like that again." She said flatly stepping away from his hands as they reached for her. "I love you yes, but I won't be miserable for you. I'm sorry but I can't stay here and if you think it's because of you then you're wrong, it has nothing to do with you. Grow up Kohaku, I'm getting on with my life and I think you should do the same."_

_Without waiting for any kind of reply Rin turned her back to Kohaku and climbed down the endless steps down the ladder and off his sister's roof. If she could have him by her side always she would have suggested him coming with her. She wanted to share her uncharted adventure with someone but the both of them knew he'd never leave his family behind, not even for her and it broke her heart. _

_It was two weeks later that Rin was ready to leave, two large duffel bags thrown over her shoulders, standing in line waiting for the next Greyhound bus to anywhere U.S.A and a sad smile on her face. She was going to miss the easy life and every memory she had was locked safely in her heart. This had been what she wanted and casting a last parting glance to where she wished Kohaku had been, Rin climbed up the steps and said a silent goodbye to everyone and everything she was leaving behind._

_Two years and dozens of unanswered letters later Rin had hit it big. Maybe not in the way that changed the world around her, but changed the world for someone else. All the hope she'd left for Kohaku had all but faded away with time and the hurt from knowing he was no longer in her life was like an arrow in her chest. Always no replies from her letters, never any return mail and she didn't know when, but one day the world went black. _

_She'd just gotten home from another long dreary day of work, her feet dragged on the pavement and her body bone tired. The mail box was filled with junk mail, grocery store adds and the various other things, but one tiny envelope slipped out and drifted to the ground. One tiny envelope with crisp clear handwriting and dropping everything else in her hands, she reached for it like it was suddenly disappear if she didn't. Anxiously she ripped it open and on a small index card was his perfectly written words._

_"Big girls don't cry."_

_At first she didn't understand and flipping over the card she frowned at the local hospital logo. She wanted to scoff and curse under her breath, but she didn't. If she got too worked up she'd have another fit and though they were manageable, Rin doubted she could handle two in one day - not with how she'd been feeling lately at least. So with a heavy heart Rin picked up her discarded mail and went inside her lonely adventure less apartment._

_Life continued on for Rin at a slow pace, some days slower than others and it wasn't long until she wound up in the hospital with a bad leg fracture from a fall she had after a nasty fit. After a few days in the hospital she was ready to leave, her angry eyes glaring as she hobbled her way down the halls on her crutches and a few times rolling in a wheel chair the nurses often forced her into. It wasn't an all out bad experience for Rin, after all she did manage to run over a rather young doctor's foot and got a good laugh out of it. _

_Well it had been fun until she tried to do the same to an emotionless coroner's foot. That's when all her real "problems" began. He had been furious at her, who wouldn't be, but he didn't show his distaste with words or expressions with his face, he merely looked down at her and went his own way._

_ It wasn't a reaction she'd been expecting; however, it was one that piqued her interest none the less. For Rin it had been the blossoming of a beautiful annoy and get annoyed kind of relationship, but it was one that the both of them needed at the time. _

_Soon enough Rin was released from the hospital and she spent as much time with the silvery-white haired man as she could. She hadn't known how difficult he could be until two months after they'd started spending Thursdays and Fridays drinking beer, eating pizza, and watching cheesy zombie movies with him and she'd tackled him to the ground and fished his badge from his pocket in order to finally learn his name. Sesshomaru. _

_They grew steadily closer and by the end of Halloween night full with pixie sticks and scary movies, a year later, she finally got a real taste of Sesshomaru. His lips tasted like white chocolate and she decided then that he was better than anything sweet._

_ His breath had been hot against her exposed flesh and his fingers floated on her like a feather's touch and an innocent moment turned into something so mind blowing that it was etched into Rin's brain. She became addicted to the cold hospital coroner, his cold amber eyes seeing through to her soul and filling her with a warmth she couldn't describe. _

_Spending time with Sesshomaru was something she looked forward to almost everyday and she felt happier than she'd been in years and apparently it showed. With the more and more time she spent at his side or laying in his arms the less and less frequent her fits became until they eventually disappeared all together._

_ Things were always getting better and a few months later Rin was the soon to be Mrs. Sesshomaru. It sent her into a fit of giggles and after much convincing, Sesshomaru agreed to take time off work so the two of them could go back to her roots and dish out the big surprise. _

_The trip itself had been a nice one, spending every waking moment next to the man she'd fallen in love with, but what was waiting for her back in the town she'd left behind was something she'd never once in a million years would have expected. She recognized most of the people on the street, her smile brilliantly flashing. Sesshomaru had made a joke that she could power all of California and then some with her pearly whites if she tried hard enough and she could only laugh. _

_She didn't find it odd when she asked an old friend she spotted in the local diner where Kohaku and his sister lived, but she didn't quite understand the look of pity given to her with the napkin with written instructions on how to get to the new place. She also didn't find it odd when Miroku, Sango's long time boy friend answered the door with only a towel on, but what had been odd was the way his smile faltered the moment he'd lain eyes on her and Sesshomaru. _

_"What's wrong?" She asked curiously raising her eyebrows. "Where's Sango and Kohaku?" _

_He looked paler than he had the moment before and more docilely than she'd ever known Miroku to be as he led the two of them inside and to the living room. _

_"Rin," he started unshed tears building up in his beautiful blue eyes. "I-I don't know how to tell you this-"_

_"Tell me what?" She could feel her heart pounding in her chest and the grip that Sesshomaru had on her hand tightened. _

_"Kohaku," how was he supposed to start? "He - there was an accident."_

_"W-what?" Her tongue felt too dry and thick in her mouth. _

_Miroku hid his face in his hands, his voice trembling as he spoke. "He- he'd been fixing the tiles on the roof of Sango's old place and somehow slipped off it a-and cracked his head open on the corner of the pool."_

_If Miroku had been playing some cruel joke then she would have hurt him as bad as it were physically possible for her to do, but seeing the tears streaming down his face as he continued telling her that Kohaku would have been okay if he hadn't somehow rolled over and accidentally slipped unnoticed into the pool and drowned. A cruel joke had been one thing, but hearing that Kohaku was dead was something completely different; she couldn't handle the thought of never being able to see him again. _

_It was in that moment the world and time seemed to stop for Rin. All of the years with un-replied letters, all the time she'd spent hoping for some kind of answer had all been in vain because Kohaku had been dead for almost two years. _

_Why neither Sango or Miroku bothered to tell her before she didn't know and it all hit her hard. Black lined her vision and she could feel a fit coming, this time however, she didn't have enough time to say anything before she was consumed by the darkness, Sesshomaru holding her face between his warm and strong hands his panicked voice calling - yelling for her as she sank deeper. _

"Rin," hands brushed the hair from her face. "Hey, Rin are you okay?"

Snapping from her depressing thoughts Rin let a small smile spread onto her face. "Yeah, sorry I didn't mean to drift off like that. Are we almost there?"

He didn't look too convinced, but nodded anyway, his clear amber eyes never leaving her once. Eight years, it had been eight long and crazy years since she'd allowed herself to come back to the place she'd spent her entire childhood and she felt like it was better late than never, despite what some people believed.

The rental car rolled to a stop, the gravel crunching underneath the sleek tires and Rin sighed heavily as she leaved over and placed a chaste kiss on Sesshomaru's lips. "I'll be back in a few minutes okay?"

"I'll be right here if you need me," he whispered softly against her lips, his hand cupping the back of her neck and kissing her more firmly completely ignoring the childish giggles.

Savoring the feel of him longer than necessary, Rin pulled away and climbed out of the passenger's seat, the gravel crunching under her own feet. The need to walk faster tugged at the edge of her mind, but she couldn't get her legs to move at a faster pace; besides, she would get there eventually so what did it matter?

Rin never like cemeteries and in all of her twenty nine years of life her opinion never once changed. She didn't like the knowledge of knowing one day everything would end and more of her loved ones would die and leave her, or that she'd end up leaving them. The sight of all the gravestones, their endless sea of death disturbed her and finding the one in particular she'd come to see she forced back her emotions and settled herself on a patch of green.

"Hey there Kohaku," she whispered fingering the letters of his name on the small plaque headstone. "It's been a long time huh?"

Her voice hitched and she wrenched back the sob caught in her throat, she had to stay strong, she had to keep calm and composed. It was the only way she could keep talking.

"I wanted you to know that even though I didn't change the world I caught me a star." Memories, both bad and good filled her head and the urge to run away was almost too overpowering. "I've found two and maybe by next spring it'll be three."

Why were the hardest things to say always the kind that needed to be said? Clearing her throat she heard the crunching of gravel and footsteps behind her and smiled softly; the kind that Kohaku had always given to her.

"I-I'm happy Kohaku," it was harder to keep herself emotionless, but then again, only Sesshomaru could pull it off effortlessly. "You may not have liked it, but you'd like him. We got married underneath a willow just like I'd always said I would; seven years ago this week. I'm finally the adult I wanted to be and I hope you're proud of me… God Kohaku I miss you so much, and despite what you thought I've always loved you. I-"

"Mom!" A girlish cry came from behind her, a pair of short arms wrapping around her neck and a small head resting on top of her own. "Daddy's no fun, what'cha doin?"

A watery laugh left her mouth as she took the tiny hands and held them tightly to her chest. "Just saying goodbye to an old friend baby."

The small six year old slithered to Rin's side, a pair of amber eyes poking out of a mess of brown hair and sun kissed skin flattered freckles. The knowing look in her daughter's eyes were exactly like her father's and Rin's hand flew to her mouth, her eyes shutting tightly. "Did your friend die?"

"Yes baby," it was all too overwhelming for her to remember.

"Well daddy says that it's okay for big girl's to cry," a sob broke through Rin's barely holding barrier. "But daddy thinks all girls cry, but he's weird cause my mommy doesn't and you're a big girl too!"

When Sesshomaru's hand touched her shoulder Rin pulled her daughter into her arms feeling her resolve break and for the first time in almost ten years, Rin cried.

**The End.**

_**E/N**_: _Wow... this story was depressing for me to write, and I started crying as I was writing the end because I could visualize the way it could happen. I'm just emotional and my sister gave me a dirty look. Hilarious! I know it wasn't quite a Rin/Sesshomaru centric short story, but technically they still were together in the end. If technicalities count. I have a three day weekend so I'll be working on more short stories. I'm hoping that I'll have another finished before Monday night and have it posted for you guys! _

_I can never thank you enough for all the comments left! They are like winning the lottery, but so much more fulfilling (well for me at least). So please keep leaving the little goodies for me and I'll do the same for you. (wink wink!) I'm currently working on "Penny and Me" so if I get if finished you'll get something real sweet from me, because it's freaking awesome!_

_Till Next time I'll be watching "Shaun of the Dead" and thinking of romance._

_-Krystal-_


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** _If I owned InuYasha, Rin and Sesshomaru would have been making it like jackrabbits already!_

_Well, once again I'm late with an update and I'm surprised someone hasn't come through my door to chop me to pieces. A lot of things have happened, and once again my sister's boyfriend is in the hospital so I've been pretty busy that I haven't had time to sit down and have a descent story plot written out. _

_This originally had been a sweet small one-shot about Rin sneaking in through Sessh's window and molesting him something crazy, but as you will see things didn't turn out like I planned. IT WAS BETTER! Lol I do have to say that I rewrote the ending because the original one sucked BIG!_

_**WARNING!!!:**_ _These stories contain strong violence, sexual situations, and/or dirty pouty mouthed people. If you are easily offended or do not like such material please go ride on your little pretty pink ponies and go fly back over to the innocent side of the rainbow! There's a reason why it's rated "M" children!_

So please enjoy!

**A First Time for Everything **

**By Miztikal-Dragon**

_"Six, Eight, Twelve" --Brain McKnight_

Today - this day, had been another long tiring day. It almost seemed endless, yet he knew that time couldn't only pretend to slow down for so long. The leather briefcase was unusually heavy in his hand and if it hadn't been filled to the brim with important papers, he would have left it at his office. The night sky was clear, he could see the pale full moon from the electric train window; always stuck in one place even when everything else flashed and whizzed by in a blurry mess.

How long had it been since he had stopped caring about the streaming figures, the greedy clients and everything else that he dealt with on daily basis? When had it stopped being enjoyable? When was the last time he had a decent night's sleep and woke up refreshed and eager to begin another day?

Honestly, he lost track of the how and the when, but it felt like a lifetime ago. The train doors closed with a whoosh behind him as he exited the long metal snake, his hair fluttering as the wind picked up. Even if it was a clear night sky he could plainly smell the moisture in the air and he knew that before the dawn of new day it would have rained.

He looked forward to it and it wouldn't matter if he made it home before it poured, a little water never hurt anyone and he knew he was strong enough to survive. The tall streetlights were like lonely spotlights down his street and as he walked down the sidewalk he glanced at every single burst of orange light, secretly hoping that someone would be there. Maybe that wasn't always a good thing to think, but he only wanted a glimpse and when he finally came to a halt at the doorstep of his building, the empty feeling swelled in his stomach. Tonight, he guessed, would be another night of disappointment, like each night seemed to be these days.

His keys jingled in his pocket as he reached for them, his sensitive ears listening intently for any signs that someone was there hiding behind the shadows, but once again, there was nothing. The stairs were long and winding and it was moments like these when he wished he had listened to his father and upgraded out of the miserable dingy neighborhood for something more fitting for his profession, yet he hadn't because for some reason it was home.

Then again it hadn't felt like his home anymore, not since when - well he didn't want to think about it now. Opening his bedroom door, he heeled off his expensive shoes, the briefcase being set down on an old wooden chair. He loosened his tie and tiredly slipped the jacket from his shoulders and tossed it onto his desk.

It had been a long day and he was sure that his obsessive need for cleanliness would leave him be so he could try and get the heavy weight off his shoulders; even if only for a little while. The small blinking numbers on his answering machine let him know there were messages for him and pulling off his button up dress shirt, he pressed play only half listening to the voice on the machine.

"Hey Sesshomaru," InuYasha's voice fluttered across the pitch black room, but Sesshomaru merely opened the curtains, allowing the moonlight to filter through and give him a perfect view of the unused fire escape outside his window and the telephone booth across the street. "I know it's late, but I thought that you should know that Kagome and Sango still haven't found her. I'm sorry, it's like she never existed. Um- I'll see you tomorrow okay? Bye."

Sesshomaru felt his heart clench painfully in his chest and he stiffly turned from his window and trekked to the small bathroom turning the hot water faucet on high and watching the steam billow out from behind the plain plastic shower curtain. Had it been yet another failed attempt to find one person? Another failed try to find one little human girl and it tore him apart. She wasn't supposed to be so hard to track down and he wasn't supposed to be feeling so helpless and empty as he did currently; however, she was invisible to the best tracker's eyes and noses, and he still missed her desperately despite how much he denied it to everyone around him.

The hot water felt good against his skin and slowly he began to feel his tired muscles unwind. It was like he was living in a dream world, just as helpless as a newborn and he hated the feeling. He was strong, powerful, not to mention deadly with a cold look that made some enemies piss themselves, but why couldn't he do anything when it mattered the most? Sesshomaru often wondered if it was some cruel hand in face he was dealt and for the life of him he couldn't figure out his next move.

How could one little human have him so wrapped up and confused? Why was it that a mere teenaged girl held such power over him and he hadn't been able to see it until she was gone? He wasn't supposed to be the type of being that relied on others, hell he loved his space, but now it was the silence and being alone that he seemed to hate the most.

It wasn't fair that she blew his life like a reckless tornado, giving him something other than what he was accustomed to, to the point that the day wasn't complete without it and then just suddenly disappear without a trace. People like her should not be allowed to influence demons like Sesshomaru, he was above it all, but somehow she dug herself a home under his skin, burrowing deeper than his poisonous claws could reach and it left him unsure of what he was supposed to do now that she was gone.

"Rin," he found himself whispering her name, the now cold water being forgotten in place of two soft towels, the gentle pitter-pattering of the rain against the roof of his converted home doing nothing to sooth his nerves.

He hated admitting it to himself, but there was just something about her that had drawn him like a moth to the flames and he doubted it would have been any different no matter what way fate decided for the two of them to meet. She'd been the only human to ever surprise him, to catch the ever alert and emotionless Inu Youkai off guard and it intrigued him. Maybe it was the way her lips had pressed against his less than gently, or something else entirely different, though it mattered little to him. Sesshomaru craved her touch, her kiss, her face, and everything else she had to offer and it was slowly driving him insane.

"_Run Kohaku!" It had been another late night at the office for Sesshomaru and instead of driving he had decided to take the train. At the time he didn't understand it, but the cold atmosphere was like a breath of fresh air- it felt right. _

_His neighborhood wasn't the worst off, but tonight - that particular night there was something ominous in the air; the sounds of tires squealing on the road and a young girl's loud voice and the glare of lights of a speeding car were meters away from him. He knew that he should have ignored it and kept on his way, but the girl's scream stole away his attention and completely hidden in the darkness he watched the scene in front of him unfold. _

_Even if it had been pitch black he could have seen her as plain as day and the sight of her was breath taking. There were two - maybe three men, all humans grabbing at her, the vehicle's back passenger door swinging open as they tried overpowering her. _

_It was like a scene out of all those action movies he watched growing up, an innocent girl struggling against enormous and ridiculously strong men who were trying to kidnap her for one reason or another. However, he hadn't expected the sudden flash of metal, a pair of electric blue eyes narrowing and a male cry as the smell of blood filled his nose. _

_His first thought had been how could such an innocent being fight like a ruthless killer, stabbing her attacker without batting an eyelash. The sound of ripping clothing brought Sesshomaru back to reality just in time for him to see the girl heading in his direction and before she could pass him, his hand shot out as gunshots ripped through the night. _

_The dark alleyway had kept them safe from the bullets, his business suited body trapping the girl against him and the dirty brick wall, his large hands holding her close and hiding her from any unwanted onlookers with the help of his long silver hair. _

_He could plainly feel the rapid beat of her heart, her fingers clutching his chest and her hot breath waxing and waning like a teasing lover on the exposed flesh of his neck. Something inside him had stirred then and when the sounds of heavily thudding feet and the roaring of an engine died, disappearing into the night, did he allow himself to step away from the small creature he'd captured. _

_Long ebony hair was pulled up into a high yet loose ponytail and hidden under a blue red sox baseball cap, some American league team, stray strands falling out from under the cap and framing her face. Her skin was pale and seemed to glow in the moonlight and fluorescent street lights, her electric blue eyes wide and clouded over and a soft blush rushing to her cheeks as she stared at him. _

"_Th-thank you," it came out as a breathless whisper and it sent chills up and down his spine. _

_Normally he would have scoffed and left it at that, showing only his back as he walked away, but not that time. When he stepped back to give her some space, her trembling hands refused to loosen their grasp on his clothing and it was then that he could smell the fear rolling off her in waves. What was he supposed to do, he couldn't just leave her - well he could, very easily in fact, but the thought of doing so felt wrong. He could be cruel and vicious, but he wasn't a heartless bastard, despite what his half brother claimed. _

_Heaving a loud dramatic sigh, Sesshomaru shrugged off his blazer jacket and folded it over his arm before tugging the small girl away from the wall. To say she was frightened was an understatement, but he ignored it as he gently took the letterman's jacket off her, one of the sleeves had been completely ripped off so it couldn't be saved. Her heart pounded heavily, he could plainly hear it, though he schooled his face into an emotionless mask taking the cap off her head and pulling the long midnight hair free from its ponytail and allowing it to fall softly around her face. _

_There was no doubt in his mind that those men were still looking for her and after helping her put on his jacket, he picked up his discarded briefcase and allowed himself a glimpse of the girl standing in front of him. She was young, probably late teens he guessed, a dirt covered white spaghetti strapped shirt covering her long torso, a pair of off gray tight jeans exposing a little of pale skin below her barely covered navel. _

_Sesshomaru guessed she'd be wearing some loose fitting shoes like all the other teenagers did, but seeing a pair of steel-toe boots had his curiosity. She looked plain, the type of girl that would be lost in a crowd, but then why were those men so adamant to get her?_

"_Come girl," he hadn't meant it to sound like a cold order as he stepped out of the alleyway, but it did._

_Sesshomaru didn't have to look back and see if she was following him because he already knew she was, he could smell her, feel the warmth radiating off her body and splash teasingly onto his own flesh. There was something about her that piqued his interest and despite knowing that he couldn't keep her for an interrogation and observation until his thirst of curiosity was quenched, he wanted to. _

_No words were spoken during the rather short walk to his home or even when she was safely inside and shown to the bathroom with a towel and a pair of clothes shoved into her hands. Sure it looked weird, him - Sesshomaru protecting and taking care of a stray kitten, but it wasn't like he was planning on having his way with her as reimbursement for possibly saving her life. He wasn't like that and the mere thought disgusted him. He didn't have to resort to rape because if he wanted to get laid he would in a heart beat no questions asked. _

"_Rin," the door to the bathroom opened and the girl came out wearing one of his Tees and cotton pajama bottoms, a towel covering her head. "My name is Rin."_

_After that night Rin became like another part of his life. Her smiles were contagious the moment he saw her sitting on his bed, her blue eyes filled with laughter. Somehow the nineteen year old would always show up, climbing her way up the abandoned fire escape, a duffel bag of clothing and what not thrown casually over her shoulder. It was his time with her that Sesshomaru found himself at his best, life seemed to have a purpose other than for work._

_Everything had been innocent at first, a close friendship and it probably would have stayed that way if Sesshomaru hadn't allowed himself to feel relaxed with her by his side. A year had passed by quickly for the two of them and Sesshomaru even finished up his work at the office earlier in the day always eager to get back to his place and see Rin, though it never seemed to show on the outside. However, it didn't matter if people knew the difference in his behavior, he was an adult and his personal life was of no concern to anyone else, they weren't family, and even if they were it wasn't their business._

_Routine, it was something Sesshomaru had grown used to over the years, but with Rin the main structure of his every day life had been thrown out the very window she often snuck in through. Everything was always different, the way she dressed, the looks she gave him and on a few occasions, her hair. It was only the little things that stayed the same, yet the way he felt never became something different, but it definitely changed. _

_He started taking the car so he could get home quicker and when he unlocked his door he could hear the loud music coming from his bedroom, the bass making the walls vibrate like they were about to come to life. It was weird for him because Rin had always tried to be quiet. Of course it didn't bother him, nor did it bother him that she rarely ventured through his home while he was gone. Tossing his briefcase on a near by table, Sesshomaru climbed the stairs and laughed to himself hearing her voice singing alone to the song playing. _

_The bedroom door had been left open so he quietly snuck up on her as the song ended, watching her as she care freely danced around the spacious room a large blow up plastic guitar in her hands._

_ The CD ended and the two of them were left in silence until he broke it. "Loud enough for you?" _

_Her face flushed as she turned to greet him, her blue eyes wide. "S-Sesshomaru you scared me panty-less!"_

_He chuckled leaning against the doorframe appreciating the white snap-button colored shirt and classic ripped blue jeans she wore, her toes sticking out from underneath the flared denim. Her hair was layered again, he mused as she tossed the toy guitar onto a chair and though he'd seen them everyday, the metal loop through her lip and the other on her left eyebrow were always a surprise; too bad she wasn't wearing that floppy hat, it would have pulled off her almost exotic look. Not that she needed accessories to help her. _

_Sesshomaru didn't understand why he touched her lips that day, the cool metal offsetting the warmth of her mouth after she hug him, or why his hand stayed to caress her cheek before sliding to cup her neck as his own lips fitted against hers, but it felt good. The only thing he did know was that she didn't pull away as his tongue swept into her mouth or flinch when the blood in his veins boiled and he roughly tore open her shirt and touched her more intimately than he'd ever done before. _

_No, she only moaned in reply, her hands desperately clutching him as he devoured her. She fitted perfectly with his body, arched her back and exposed her naked flesh to his mouth and fingertips and gave him every inch of herself and more. It was like fireworks he guessed, the way she shivered as he filled her, her fingers tangling into his long hair and scraping against his scalp. _

_Her gasps were loud and wanton and it fueled him on and he could barely control himself as he took her. He needed her - wanted her and it was pure ecstasy tasting the salt of her sweat slicked flesh, her body moving in sync with his as though they'd been made for each other. _

_It was after that night Sesshomaru decided that Rin was more precious to him than anything else. In a way one could say that he loved her, but he couldn't say it aloud, it just wasn't in his nature to. However, Rin did things to him, changed him and the thought of being in love with such a creature terrified him. _

"Hey Sesshomaru," the loud voice from his answering machine tore him from his depressing and some what bitter thoughts. "I know you're home. Pick up the fucking phone already!"

Picking up the cordless receiver, he rolled his eyes before answering. "InuYasha that's no way to leave a message."

"Keh," InuYasha snorted. "You need to learn how to answer your phone, but that's besides the point. Have you thought about what we discussed earlier?"

"Yes I have."

"And?" Sesshomaru frowned, InuYasha had always been impatient about things and he guessed that some things never really did change.

He didn't want to give it up, but he had to get away. It was killing him to remember, he was going to go insane if he didn't find another way. "Tell them they can move in by the end of the week. I've only a few things left. Thursday earliest."

This was it, InuYasha said his thanks and hung up leaving Sesshomaru once again completely alone with his thoughts. He couldn't go back now, it was already too late for it.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Six, eight, twelve- they were numbers, horrible numbers that kept track of the lapse of time and she hated them. Those dreaded numbers symbolized exactly how long she'd been left to rot in the hell she'd been thrown into. Six months, eight days, and twelve hours down to the minute and Rin gritted her teeth as she watched the scene around her.

Huge men scrambled around like chickens with their heads cut off, sleep black .38 caliber handguns peeking through their open coats and though she should have been afraid of these dangerous men she wasn't. The only thing that scared her was the thought of being found and that on its own would not be allowed, not while she was still breathing that is.

They were searching for her, she knew that for certain and she curled tighter into her hiding spot praying that none of them would see her. The last day and a half was one big deadly game of hide and seek - one that she couldn't afford to lose and she held her breath as a pair of polished shoes stepped dangerously close to her trembling fingers. It was times like these when she thanked the heavens for making her small in almost every aspect because it was probably the only reason why she was still alive.

"There's no sign of the listener," a deep voice said and since there were no other feet around them besides her own she assumed he was talking on either a walkie-talkie or a cell phone. "She couldn't have gotten far sir--Kohaku shot her with a numbs tin bullet when she first fled the compound last night."

Kohaku - the name brought tears to her eyes and her hands flew to her mouth to try and force back the sob in her throat. All of this pain and torture she'd endured was for his sake, for his protections and in the end it was all done completely in vain. No longer would Kohaku ever be the gentle and always kindly smiling twenty-two year old boy she had once fallen in love with; that boy ceased to exist almost five months ago.

Now he was a monster just like all the rest of them. It made things worse knowing exactly what she'd been shot with and she cursed her luck as she shifted some of the weight off her shoulder. Numbstins always hurt like a bitch and if not properly taken care of early it would leave the affected area permanently paralyzed. The name came from the numbing agent and poisons infused in the long metal shell and gun powder; only normally used for dealing with underground gangs and big nuisances by high up government agents. But how Kohaku was able to get his hands on one was beyond her.

Then again, maybe it wasn't. The ring leader of the underground syndicate had been the infamous Naraku Takahara and he did a little more than curious dabbling in the black market. She knew because it was the job of a listener. Silently she waited until the coast was clear and she was certain none of Naraku's goons lingered before she climbed out of the place she crawled into, her left hand clenching into a fist as she fought back the pain. It wouldn't be good for her if she just stayed put, they'd eventually wise up and find her if she did and she doubted she had the strength left to try out running them again.

She had a rather painful stitch in her side that refused to go away and black dots danced dangerously in front of her eyes. There wasn't much time left until the sun would set and ducking behind another alley way, Rin couldn't barely force back the few tears that pushed their way from her clenched eyes. It was still about another day and a half's journey by foot to get where she was going and she wanted to give up any hope that had been lingering in her heart.

Would he still be there waiting? Would his eyes be cold or filled for a second or two with relief or would he be furious? She'd been gone for so long, disappearing with a promise to return in the morning only for it to be broken. Grant it Rin hadn't planned on being ambushed while searching for any signs of Kohaku. She hadn't planned on being face to face with Naraku as his goons ripped the large hoop earrings from her ears, the rotten smell of burning flesh as they branded her with a hot iron in the shape of a spider and then rubbing it with salt and black dye.

Hell, she'd been lucky they hadn't decided to take a blade to her face after they pummeled her with metal rods. How she remained alive was a mystery to her, but then again it probably had something to do with the project Athelynne. It was a chip seized by the government, another disturbing creation that found its way to the black market and then into Naraku's hands.

Rin remembered the way Kohaku behaved after they implanted it into the back of his neck; the same black spider burn she had on his shoulder blades and the way he screamed as he attacked and killed one of Naraku's men like a good lapdog. They had turned the gentlest creature into a killing machine - a monster.

It wasn't fair! It wasn't right and yet there was nothing she could do until she reached safety, if she lasted that long. Biting down on her lower lip, Rin spotted a familiar young man not too far ahead and as she passed him she reached (it was always a good idea for a listener to have more than one specialty especially incase they found themselves in a position similar to hers) and carefully tucked his wallet into her pants pocket and continued down the block.

Sure she felt bad, but it didn't matter how guilty she felt, she needed it and since her life was on the line, the young man with seductive indigo eyes and black hair tied to the nape of his neck would just have to deal with the loss.

Somehow Rin wound up in a close by park sitting on the large fountain, the cold water feeling wonderful against her face. She managed to snap a few coins out and using her bloodied sleeve, she dried her face. There was a vague feeling of where she was, though it was still far away from where she wanted to be and it made the pain in her shoulder more evident.

Taking a deep breath, Rin let the tears fall from her eyes, the park around her was filled with happy people, all minding their own business but she could feel him closing in on her; his brown eyes pinning her in place and a part of her wanted to die.

Climbing to her feet she was hit by a wave of dizziness and fell to her knees, her fingers scraping over the ground as footsteps grew closer. "You shouldn't try to move Rin, it only puts strain on your wounds."

"I can't," she sobbed softly, the barrel of the gun digging into her shoulder. "I can't go back."

His laugh was malicious and she hated it. She hated what he'd become and if it meant hating him then she'd have to. Her breathing was ragged as he pulled her arm, forcing her to her feet and Rin grimaced grabbing a jagged rock; her scream surprising everyone around them as she bashed the large rock into Kohaku's head.

"I won't be like you!" She yelled watching him fall to his own knees, his grasp tightening dragging her down with him and beginning to panic she hit him again. "I HATE YOU!"

Rin struck him once more for good measure, his hand falling to the ground and it broke her heart. She didn't really hate him, she couldn't hate him, but she had to in order to stay alive. It didn't help much that she was crying as she stumbled away, her feet tripping over the cracks in the sidewalk.

"RIN!" Kohaku's voice roared angrily and her blood went cold as she tried to stop her vision from doubling. "Don't you walk away from me you bitch!"

Gunshots exploded and people screamed as they hid for cover. She willed herself not to fall as fire consumed her right arm, pain so intense she almost blacked out. Blood was everywhere and she could barely move, but she kept going, the loud whistling of police sirens fading in her ears. Kohaku would have already caught up and dragged her away and why he hadn't was strange; however, she couldn't sit by idly thinking about the details. She had to get away.

Absently Rin's shuffling feet began to move quicker across the pavement, the police whistles growing steadily louder. She wanted to cry because things were getting worse but she couldn't afford to do anything besides trying to find a way to safety. Hundreds of thoughts raced through her mind, jumbling and confusing her senses and the next thing she knew she was a block or two away from the park, swarms of people walking in every direction; most pretending not to notice the bleeding and scared looking teenager.

They stayed away, purposely avoiding her and her filth and she was thankful that she was surrounded. She was always able to get lost in a crowd so ridiculously easy. Stumbling to the side of the road, the first thing Rin spotted was a cab readying to leave and desperately she flung herself towards it, grabbing the door handle and throwing herself inside like a rag doll, the door slamming shut behind her.

"Oommf," a voice drifted close to her ears, nails digging into her arms and a clean and strong chest pressed tightly against hers.

It was like being dumped into a tub of cold water and as though being bitten Rin jerked away, shooting pain ripping through her entire body. For a moment her vision swam in the poorly lit cab, two pairs of eyes watching her curiously. Her breath came out in shallow pants, her head lolling back on the seat and silent tears falling down her dirtied cheeks. This was just too much for her and she wanted to curl up in a ball and die she felt so lightheaded and tired.

"Where to?" she assumed it was the cab driver, but she knew she wasn't alone and doubted he'd been speaking to her in the first place.

"To the hospital!" the man next to her responded sharply, his gentle hands brushing over her, probing her with a feather's touch. "Hurry, she's going to bleed to death."

"No--!" She sobbed grabbing his large hands, her eyes shooting open to stare into blue eyes that mirrored her own. "I can't. Th-they can't help me. I won't bleed to death."

"You've been shot twice!" He growled loudly making her flinch. "Don't tell me that you won't, I know better! I'm a doctor for fuck's sake!"

"Then you know that the fucking moment you remove the shells and try treating them with the standard drugs and what not you'd have dug me a grave!" Rin clenched her teeth as the backs of her eyes began to burn. It was already beginning to take effect. "Fuck! I-if you're a doctor then you understand how penolthenxecthoyll reacts when exposed to pnolapenditalnycine that the nurses give to gunshot victims."

"She better not bleed on my freaggin seats!" the cab driver was more than angry; however, the other passenger gave him a few choice words and insisted him to keep driving. "I don't' care what you do with her, but I sure as shit ain't explaining to the cops why there's a dead broad bleeding in the back of my cab!"

"Just get me to the corner of 312th and Southern and I'll be okay," she could feel the darkness pulling at her. "Wake me up when we're a few blocks away."

The darkness was clawing at her, dragging her down and for a moment she felt like she was dreaming. "H-how do you know about Numbstins and its compounds?"

"Because," she whispered tiredly. "It's my job to know."

And surprisingly that's exactly what the doctor did. It took a few moments for Rin to gather her bearings and when she did, she noticed that the scenery around her was pitch black. A light flickered as she tried forcing herself to sit up and a pair of hands danced across her flesh, pulling her up and she groaned in both pain and exhaustion. All she wanted to do was go back to sleep and stay that way for as long as possible, though in the end she knew she couldn't.

With stuff muscles, Rin waited until the cab coaxed to a stop before opening the door, her trembling fingers slipping off the cold metal several times. It hurt to move, but she forced herself up, her right arm hanging uselessly at her side; she'd be lucky if she'd ever be able to use it again. Her cab companion was out of the vehicle in a flash, helping her ease out and avoiding tripping over the curb. How she was going to make it the rest of the way on food she didn't know, but somehow she'd just have to; no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

"Hey," his hands steadied her and Rin tried hard to smile through the pain.

He was a complete stranger and he'd gone out of his way to get her to where she was going, his finely toned abs peeking out from under his open jacket; his shirt long since ripped into makeshift bandages to try and slow down her bleeding wounds. "Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital? I mean, no offense but you look like shit."

She wanted to laugh but it hurt and digging into her pocket, Rin pulled out her lifted wallet and pulled out the cash, bills barely staying in her fingers as they began to go numb. She was losing feeling quicker than she anticipated. "Please, it's all I can give you for the cab… Thanks for everything."

"Koga,"

"Huh?" His fingers curled around hers and guided the money back into the stolen wallet cradled in her arm.

"My name's Koga," he told her, his lips brushing lightly over her forehead. She was developing a slight fever. "And if you make it out alive gimme a call. I could always use a strong stubborn human girl like you."

His words made her blush and silently she watched him climb back into the cab and it disappeared down the road. That would be the last time she saw Koga, for that she was certain and turning towards the alley way, she traded the bills for coins with the nearest homeless person. She needed to find a pay phone. It was harder than Rin originally thought it'd be and by the time she found a working one she was right across the street from the place she'd called home for the last year and a half; her safe haven.

The roads were significantly subdued, there was practically nobody besides herself out in the night air and sighing heavily she maneuvered herself into the telephone booth, holding the receiver with her un-abused shoulder and her chin and her eyes drifting shut as she slowly dialed the numbers she knew by heart. It rang over and over, the annoying ringing buzzing in her ears; she had to redial twice as she was switched over to his voicemail and on the third try - fourth ring a voice echoed into her head.

"Hello?"

It was the silky smooth voice of a woman and though it was strangely familiar Rin couldn't place where she heard it before. "Hello? - If you don't say something I'm hanging up!"

"Se-" it was getting harder to breathe, who was this strange woman and what was she doing answering Sesshomaru's cell? "Sesshomaru-"

"He's a little indisposed of," the voice cooed seductively. "Can I take a message?"

"No--Sesshom- I need to talk to, - it's an emergency!" Sobs were working their way up her chest and cutting off her words.

There was a moment of silence on the other line and Rin thought that the woman had hung up on her. "Oh, I know who you are!" She was laughing at her and chills ran up Rin's spine. "You're that girl --that listener aren't you?"

If there was a time for surprise and fear to stop a girl's heart that would have been it. "Give me to Sessho-"

"Naraku's been looking for you," Rin was frozen, her mouth hanging slightly open and her breath coming out in quick pants. "You sent his new pet to the hospital and he's very angry. Those numbs tins should have paralyzed you, but don't worry he'll be there soon to collect you. Naraku has eyes everywhere. Even a pathetic human girl like you couldn't stay invisible forever."

"Kagura," Sesshomaru's cold voice sounded faint but Rin could barely believe what she was hearing as everything began to sink in. "Who gave you permission to…"

The rest of his words were drowned out as she screamed in rage, her elbow hitting the glass and shattering it as the phone receiver smashed against the metal box, shards of glass tearing into her flesh like a butter knife does butter. How were they all connected? How was Sesshomaru - did he do this to her? She screamed again, shoving her way out of the tiny phone booth, her feet slipping and sending her crashing to the dirty cement.

Why? It was the only thing that came to her mind as she crawled over to a trash can, using it as a strong hold as she desperately tried climbing to her feet, dry heaves escaping from her mouth; waterless tears from her eyes. Why did he have to be with Kagura Kizu? Of all people, why her? Did Sesshomaru know about her dealings with Naraku, that they were planning on a corporate take over of some big time business conglomerate, was he somehow a part of it all?

These thoughts, and others similar ones were a betrayal to her feelings for the snow-haired man, but the anger and pain swelling deep inside were the only things that kept her standing, that pushed her across the street and colliding with his front door; the pin pad popping out from its cleverly hidden spot behind the over extravagant doorbell.

She didn't have to think about the password, it came to her like breathing and she even ignored the bloodstains as the door creaked open, her red palm print splashed onto it's crème color as she was swallowed by the emptiness. Lights from the outside streetlights provided a beam of light for Rin and leaning heavily against the wall, she slowly climbed the endless stairs to his bedroom. If she knew Sesshomaru, and she thought she knew him well, he would be there waiting for her with cold amber eyes. And when she finally managed to open the stubborn bedroom door, she found herself dead wrong.

It was empty, all signs of life completely gone leaving one lonely bare room and a heart broken girl. Even the curtains were gone, the fluorescent lights filert5ing in from the outside making the room glow with an eerie light. He was gone without even a single trace or goodbye and Rin barely made it to the window before collapsing into a heap on the wooden floor, her body turning and the back of her head hitting the window frame.

Why did it have to be this way? Why now? The pain in her chest intensified tenfold and figuring that it was the end of it all, Rin let herself go numb, her blue eyes glazing over as she stared into the nothingness. She'd finally given up all hope of surviving.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"I just can't believe it!" A young man said, his fingers brushing through his slightly disheveled black hair. "I mean one moment I had it and the next it was gone. POOF! Right outta thin air!"

"Well jeez quit being such a bitch about it Miroku," InuYasha could stand a lot of things, but the man next to him had been complaining about losing his wallet for the last four hours and plainly he was getting sick of it. "It's not like you had credit cards in there, you gave those to Sango earlier."

The car rolled to a stop at a red light and Miroku grumbled loudly. "It's the principle InuYasha, the principle!"

A dirty glare was thrown his way and Miroku's whine grew louder, jerky hand movements catching the corner of his eyes and fed up, InuYasha swerved the car, his passenger's head hitting the window with a thunk. It was hilarious and he laughed loudly at his friend's expense, but it had the desired effect, Miroku rubbed his head sulking silently for a minute or two before changing the subject. When in doubt, use driving as a scare tactic, it was one of his best moves because it always worked.

"So why is Sesshomaru having us go back to the small project home?" Miroku asked rolling down the window. "I thought he had everything out already so that Sango and I could use it as a storage house. You know like it was originally before he 'saved' it from being demolished."

InuYasha frowned, his amber eyes darting around the area as he drove down the endless road. "No idea. He says he left something underneath one of the floorboards, but what it was he refused to specify. I think he's doing it to get a good laugh, the stupid fucker."

Miroku merely shrugged, his eyes carelessly watching the buildings as they flew past. They could have been doing better things than going to search for an unknown object that probably wasn't even there in the first place. It was a complete waste of time and he sighed heavily unbuckling his seatbelt. The clock on the stereo said twelve thirty and it meant that he'd missed out once again on a lovely night of hanging out and 'watching' movies with Sango and possibly more. A definite waste of his valued time.

InuYasha climbed out of his car with a deeper frown etched onto his face, the air was thick and knowing the type of neighborhood Sesshomaru had lived in it was too quiet. The telephone booth's glass was broken, the phone hanging lifelessly by the metal cord and he would have immediately blamed it on gang members or street hoodlums if it weren't for the smell of blood and the red dots sprinkling the sidewalk.

"Hey InuYasha," Miroku sounded off. "Did Sesshomaru leave the front door unlocked by chance?"

"Yeah right," he scoffed glancing at his friend as he crossed in front of his car. "That prima-donna is so anal about-"

Amber eyes narrowed and he felt his heart beat quicken in his chest, the front door was wide open expecting them like a bad omen and the rest of his thoughts crashed and burned. Hurrying his pace to a slow jog, InuYasha fetched his phone from his pocket tossing it back to Miroku and ordering him to call his half brother. Something wasn't right and stepping closer the scent of blood grew stronger.

A police flash light would have been better than the two wimpy ones he and Miroku had in their hands, but he was thankful for any amount of light because he wasn't sure of what was waiting for them from beyond the front door, but whatever it was it obviously wouldn't be a pretty sight. Bright red blood lined the wall going up the stairs, a fair amount and he swallowed the lump in his throat. His senses were going crazy, the thick scent making him nauseous, his ears swiveling around his head straining to hear any sound that could save them from any possible dangers.

If he hadn't been as nervous as he was, InuYasha would have sworn that he'd been sucked into a horror movie, but he tried not to let it get to him, it wasn't like he hadn't seen a dead body before, yet somehow it all seemed different. Hand prints and smeared fingerprints danced across the white wall, a foul smell making his nose itch and ascending the final steps he found himself stuck in place as he stared directly through the open door spotting a limp body underneath the window.

"Oh shit," he croaked. "It's a girl. Tell Sesshomaru to get his ass down here now."

Her feet lay outstretched in front of her, her arms palm up on both sides of her and long ebony hair falling over a lowered head. At first glance she looked merely like a homeless person, but the blood and tattered clothing told a different tale. Hearing Miroku's silent intake of breath, his feet moved forward and he was immediately at her side, his clawed hands gently pushing back her head and staring into empty blue eyes.

"Is she - you know?" Miroku asked softly kneeling next to the hanyou.

"No, not yet at least," he replied his eyebrows scrunching even further into a frown as his claws brushed against the metal ring wedged into a bleeding wound. She smelled faintly of wolf and something even more sinister. "I wonder what she did to deserve this. Fuck, this just wreaks!"

"Care to explain you're not so inner monologue?" Miroku spotted the bulge in the girl's pocket and carefully reached inside pulling out a bloody leather wallet. "Hey! This is my wallet!"

InuYasha snorted elbowing Miroku in the ribs, "you see this? This ring that looks like a large coin? Well it's not your everyday average bullet, it's a fucking Numbstin. See here, there's two right next to each other. The bitch was shot in the back."

"I've heard Sango talk about them once, but jeez this girl's only a teenager by the looks of it." it was looking worse by the moment as they studied the dying girl.

"Well Numbstins are supposed to be government issued only. You need a shit load of clearance before you can even touch them." InuYasha explained checking the girl for a pulse and barely finding one. "A few years ago when Onigumo Takigawa disappeared from the Bureau of Military Defense these Numbstins found their way into the black market. They can't be treated in hospitals and usually one is enough to practically kill an average person because of the chemicals used to make the bullets."

"And how exactly do you know this?" His hanyou friend had managed to run circles around him and Miroku wondered exactly who the unfortunate girl had happened upon.

"When Kagome talks I listen," InuYasha scoffed. "Besides, it's my duty to know."

Neither InuYasha nor Miroku expected the girl in front of them to move, nonetheless for her left hand to shoot out and grab a large amount of InuYasha's long silver hair. The hanyou cried out in a loud shrill voice, his head being forced a few inches from the mystery girl's face. He wasn't sure if she was conscious, let alone strong enough to set him off balance, but she did. Her lips moved silently and he strained to hear her, his ears twitching and he held his breath as a quiet sob left her mouth.

"Why?" it was softer than a whisper but he managed to catch her broken and slurred words. "W-why di-did yo-you?"

"Why did I what?" He asked quickly, his amber eyes darting up to meet her blue orbs, he was on edge. Who was she?

The fingers holding his hair hostage trembled viciously like she was having seizures, staining silver with red. He could plainly see her tears as her eyebrows bunched up and those clouded eyes closed. "B-ba-betray m-me-?"

InuYasha opened his mouth to reply when he was flung backwards, his body sliding halfway across the wooden floor leaving him in a confused daze. His growl was cut short seeing Sesshomaru kneeling in front of the girl, his clawed hands hesitantly reaching out to the girl before gathering her gently into his arms as though she was cracked porcelain.

His Inu Youkai half brother's long hair was pulled into a tight braid, his nice long-sleeved dress shirt rolled up past his elbows. Sesshomaru had undoubtedly been busy at the office like he'd been fort he past several months and for the first time in his entire life Sesshomaru looked frazzled and sick to his stomach.

"Se-Sesshomaru?" the girl breathed and it left InuYasha and Miroku even more confused as the said Inu Youkai turned to leave.

"It's okay Rin," Sesshomaru whispered softly. "It's okay now, I'm here."

Rin? That girl was the Rin that both Sango and Kagome had spent almost every waking minute trying to locate? That broken little human girl was the cause of Sesshomaru's uncharacteristic behavior for the last year and a half. How? When did the cold and stoic demon meet a girl like her? How had it been so hard to find one teenaged human girl?

"Oh my god!" Realization hit Miroku like a tidal wave as he stared wide-eyed at the open door where Sesshomaru had been.

"What?" InuYasha asked picking himself off the floor and dusting himself off.

"That girl," Miroku gaped dumbly. "I- she was the listener that Sango contracted to dig up information on Naraku Takahara."

"And how do you know that?"

"I remember meeting her briefly a year ago with Sango," he said incredulously. "I think she went to school with Kohaku."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

If there was one thing for Sesshomaru to be thankful for it was that his half brother wasn't as much of an idiot as he claimed him to be. He'd been at the office again, like he'd been since Rin's initial disappearance, struggling to find any information on her whereabouts.

At first he'd done it to save face from everyone around him, he was supposed to be cold and uncaring; however, his need to have her by his side became like an obsession. Sure he had Sango and Kagome looking for her as well, but in the end it just wasn't enough for his liking.

He searched everywhere yet came up with nothing; Sesshomaru for once had come up empty handed and he didn't like the feeling of helplessness. For a while he believed she upped and left, but it never sat well with him and then as pieces started coming together he seemed to have hit a speed bump. Well that was until Kagura showed up. The two of them had history together, ancient history and they mutually decided to keep as far as possible from the other, lest Sesshomaru rip out the wind sorceress' throat for trying to put one past him.

Sesshomaru wasn't stupid not by a long shot and the moment he spotted the ruby-eyed demoness in his building he knew that something was up. It had only taken a few hours of research before he found what he was looking for and for a while he played dumb, watching Kagura, setting up illegal phone taps around her downtown luxury loft.

That was where he found out her dealings with Naraku and his underground trash. Sure he shouldn't have been surprised, after all it was Naraku who was responsible for Kagura's current existence. Youkai women who could not hold their own and relied on mangy half-breeds that reeked of evil deserved everything that came to them, especially Kagura.

And then she slipped, blowing her cover and Sesshomaru was both livid and relieved. With the new information Sesshomaru was forced to back track all the way to the beginning, looking at missing persons reports where he found a particular name. Kohaku Aso. He remembered Rin saying the name once or twice, a fellow classmate with a kind disposition and completely on a whim he searched the boy's name and hit the jackpot.

Of course he didn't show off the new cards he'd been dealt, that would be risking too much; although, after a little digging he finally found the smallest bit of information he'd been scouring for from the beginning. All he had to do was put two and two together and after a visit to Kohaku's home, a brief interrogation with his already hired tracker, one Sango Aso and glancing at a few snap shots from photo albums, he'd found his Rin. Never in all his years alive had he expected her to be a listener, but then again, the way she lived had been a tiny clue.

Always changing her appearances, mannerisms, voice, everything - she'd done it on more than a few occasions and now he finally understood her obsession with the theatre and special effects and her quirk for knowing things a regular nineteen year old had no business knowing. Her haphazard way of saying "it's my job to know" whenever he questioned her. How was it he never caught on beforehand? How had he missed something so ridiculously important? They were questions he knew he'd have answers to one way or another and then the responsible party would pay.

Staring down at Rin, he allowed himself to sit down on the edge of the relatively large bed. She looked so small and defenseless, so pale and ghostly and the urge to lock her away from the rest of the world was extremely tempting. He hadn't been there to protect her and the night InuYasha and Miroku found her would forever be etched into his mind.

He recognized the Numbstin bullets from the disgusting smell alone, it was overwhelming and instead of taking her directly to the hospital like he should have he went to the "wolf's den". It was in a way another back alley hospital with a lack of a proper name; although, it was more or less an unknown clinic that the government pretended didn't exist so it was perfect.

He didn't have to explain himself as he walked passed the entrance, going directly to a redheaded, green-eyed wolf with a way with chemicals and medicines. Sango had used her before on a case a few years back and Ayame, that's what her name was he believed, merely opened her doors and began working.

Another wolf showed up not long after Sesshomaru arrived, a surprised look on his face and Sesshomaru recognized the particular smell of wolf. The male's scent was all over the cloth holding off Rin's bleeding torn up arm. Somehow she'd already had a run in with the blue-eyed doctor named Koga.

The names of the chemical compounds found in Rin's system fled his memory, but it was similar to her being doped up with speed and other uppers. It was one of the reasons she lasted so long - whoever had been holding her had been preparing Rin for something, but the Inu Youkai had yet to figure out exactly whom it was.

Ayame explained the chances of recovering being slim to none, Rin's right arm completely useless after so much sustained damage, though he didn't care, at least she was still alive. To him that was all that mattered and he'd even said as much as they rolled Rin to the recovery room more than twelve hours later.

That was almost three weeks ago and Sesshomaru let a heavy sigh leave his mouth as his claws gently touched Rin's cheek. He still had a lot of work left to do now that Sango linked Rin to Kohaku's disappearance and Kagura's sudden 360-degree personality change.

The wind witch disgusted him and though he was suspicious of the conniving creature, he had his eyes on her. She would give him the answers he needed whether it was the hard way or the easy way and at the moment his instincts screamed for the hard way. Especially since some retribution was needed.

Off in his own world, Sesshomaru barely noticed Koga, the wolf who referred to InuYasha as dog-turd and had already broken out into two or three to the death brawls with said younger half brother, walked into the room, a chart held underneath his arm, blue eyes staring intently on the needle in his hands. The door softly clicked shut behind him and without missing a beat; the wolf youkai injected the long needle into Rin's slowly dripping IV and empty the clear contents before pulling up a chair and going over the medical charts.

"I know you're awake Rin," Koga said softly. "Open your eyes."

It took her a moment or two to comply and Sesshomaru silently watched as her electric blue eyes for the wolf youkai and he let a small smile slip onto his face. A smile meant only for Rin to see. Her tongue slipped out her mouth to moisten the chapped and dry lips and Sesshomaru was sure if she wasn't doped up with painkillers she would have bolted, or at least tried to anyway.

"Am I dead?" She croaked in a hoarse whisper before clearing her throat and taking a sip of water from a small bottle Sesshomaru offered her. "Did he find me?"

"No," Sesshomaru told her coldly eyeing the bedridden girl below him. "You're not dead, and who is _he_ Rin?"

She visibly tensed hearing his voice and it took her a few minutes staring confused into his stoic amber eyes for any deception, her breath coming out in heavy pants. He saw the distrust in her eyes for him and it was like a stab to the chest but he waited patiently for an answer.

For her it seemed like a lifetime since she'd been without him and despite everything she heard, everything she believed, and the hurt that dug deep into her skin all she wanted to do was hold Sesshomaru close. "You know…"

"Rin who?" It was Koga who asked and Sesshomaru barely bit back an irritated growl.

"I can't feel my fingers," she was changing the subject and Sesshomaru had the sudden urge to shaker her violently. "I can't feel my toes… Why? My legs- my arms, I--"

"We had to give you some very powerful muscle relaxers," Koga said coldly as he rose to his feet to stand over Rin so she could see him. "Next time I say that you need to get to a hospital I'm not doing it just to be funny. The feeling will come back once you're muscles stop seizing up and even then it will be a while of physical therapy before you can move your shoulders. However you're right arm is useless."

She was nearly crying, the clear liquid clouding her vision and Sesshomaru wanted to hide her from the pain, he wanted to tell her everything would be okay and that the mangy wolf was lying, but he couldn't because everything wasn't okay.

"Useless?"

"Yes Rin, useless," his voice had softened, but he merely flipped through the medical charts avoiding any contact. "The Numbstin did a number on your arm and honestly it didn't have to be amputated, but you won't have any feeling. You won't be able to use it and if you're lucky, and I mean extremely lucky, you might be able to lift things, but don't count on holding anything."

"Rin," Sesshomaru didn't want to hear it anymore than Rin did, but there was nothing that could be done. "Who did this to you? Who were you trying to get away?"

"Was he the reason behind the spider burn on your back?" Koga asked, his now hard eyes watched her.

Sesshomaru had seen the burn once of twice and it made his blood boil, he knew what it meant and it made his eyes bleed red. He knew the worthless creature who'd hurt his Rin, he had smelled him on her when he held her in his arms that night, and even gone so far as having it confirmed with Ayame's previous patients, all of which were now deceased.

"My back," she whispered defeated turning her face away from her two companions. "I always heard he had a thing for marking what he believed to be his property, but I didn't… not until-"

"Naraku?" Sesshomaru spat the name and watched tears slip from Rin's closed eyes as she nodded her head.

He was lost for words as he gently slipped his hands under her arms and pulled her to his chest, hiding her as she quietly sobbed. It brought a hard lump to his throat as he stroked her hair, it made him angrier than he'd ever been in his life listening to her and he wanted blood. There was only one other person he knew of who was alive who had that spider burn and hers was red, he'd seen the scar and he even scoffed telling the wind witch that she deserved; however Rin didn't.

Koga left during the unusual display of emotion from Sesshomaru and the Inu Youkai silently thanked him. He wanted to be alone with Rin, and waiting until the tears subsided he held her as tightly as he could so she could feel the pressure and know that he was indeed as real as she needed him to be.

"Sesshomaru," Rin sniffled against his throat. "Please, I'm-"

Pulling away from him, he cupped the back of her neck and interrupted her words with his mouth on hers. Ever so softly he kissed her, it was tender and loving, a kiss that he longed to give her for so long and one that made her sigh. He was relieved she was still alive and allowed her to feel it for herself as he coaxed her lips to part and stealing her breath away.

There were a lot of things he learned to leave alone over the years, unimportant and stupid things, like his brother for an example, but Rin, she was too important for him to leave be. Maybe it was because he was selfish, he'd grown up that way and he refused to think of it as a bad trait, yet she brought it out of him even more.

Sesshomaru refused to let Naraku get away with hurting Rin as he'd done, for keeping her away from him and Sesshomaru would make sure Naraku had a date with death himself when the Inu Youkai was through with him. There was no doubt in his mind that Naraku would die, it was a fact, not yet proven, but soon, and it would be as sweet as key lime pie.

"You need to get some rest," he commanded against her lips as the kiss ended. "Sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

"You promise?" she still trembled as he laid her back against the pillows, her black hair falling over her shoulders and face like a midnight waterfall. Even if she looked worse for wear he thought she looked exotically beautiful.

"Sleep," it was as good as any promise and he waited until her breathing evened out before rising to his feet flipping open his cell phone and dialing an all too familiar number.

"Hello?" A woman's voice answered coldly.

"Sango," He replied looking down casually at his clawed hand checking for dirt.

"Did she confirm it?" She was never a woman willing to wait and Sesshomaru smirked. "Was it him?"

"Yes," he had to admit the angry female on the other line was getting his blood pumping, he wanted to kill and soon he would. "I want you to call up that tracer of yours, that fox child and have Naraku's location in ten minutes. Also, call InuYasha to set up the explosives around the perimeter. Don't call back until it's ready."

"I will," she sounded calmer and he knew that she was sending a wire to the fox as they spoke. "How's Rin?"

"She'll live," he said flatly. "I'll explain the details later, but she should be unconscious for the next couple of hours. Be ready for the worst Sango."

"I understand," the line went dead and Sesshomaru spared one last glance at the sleeping girl on the bed before exiting the room and glaring daggers at the wolf waiting on the other side. It was time to go hunt a spider.

The End.

E/N: _Well that was different! Maybe a little cliché, but not without my own little twists to it. If I had patience I probably would have made it its own little story, but I lacked a title and the need to draw it out would drive me absolutely bonkers. This I can say is THE longest short story I've done yet! 36 freaking pages! No wonder why it took me two weeks to write!_

_Well I have a few story plots I've written down, one or two doodles of this story and the next one I want to start working on. Hopefully that won't take too long and then I'll have more posted. Will try working on new chapters to "Getting to Know You" and "Into the Darkness" this weekend, but no promises. I've got Edge Fest on Saturday and I'm pretty stoked! _

_Thank you for all the reviews! I appreciate them, they are wicked awesome!_

_So until next time! _

_-Krystal- _


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** _If I owned InuYasha, Rin and Sesshomaru would have been making it like jackrabbits already!_

_**WARNING!!!:**_ _These stories contain strong violence, sexual situations, and/or dirty pouty mouthed people. If you are easily offended or do not like such material please go ride on your little pretty pink ponies and go fly back over to the innocent side of the rainbow! There's a reason why it's rated "M" children!_

_Well this little extra would have been posted last night but it wasn't quite finished yet and I had to work later than normal today so that's why it's not as early as I would have liked. It also didn't help that I opened my email to look for new stories to read and half of my inbox was filled with SessXKag pairings. Safe to say that put me in a bad mood. That pairing rubs me the wrong way!_

_Anyway, enough with the blabs, hope you enjoy this latest installment because I know I enjoyed writing it for your viewing pleasure! This story has FOUR songs that inspired this, you'll be able to tell at which part each song came in. _

**A First Time For Everything**

**Four in One**

"_You and Your hand" _--- Pink

"_Hey There Delilah" _--- Plain White T's

"_Smack That" _--- Akon Featuring Eminem

"_Konstantine" _--- Something Corporate

It was quiet, too quiet, and nervously she b it down on her lower lips waiting for anything from the three pairs of eyes staring at her intently. The room was warm despite the freezing temperature outside and sparing one last glance at her cars, she pulled one out and placed it face down on the steadily growing stack.

"Two sevens," she said as smoothly as possible.

"B-fucking S Rin!" A baritone voice called from the kitchen, the tall silver haired speaker appearing in the hallway with a tray with a varied sort of liquor bottles. A few held between his arms due to lack of space.

The card was flipped over and Rin protested showing her companions - InuYasha that she was in fact holding a seven. Bubbling laughter floated up and after a careful and slow explanation by the midnight haired girl across from her (InuYasha's fiancé Kagome), Rin groaned. There after all had only been one card, a seven, but unfortunately for Rin, she was seeing double.

So silently she seethed as the two males, InuYasha and Miroku (she'd forgotten he was even there until there was as shriek from Sango, who was now sitting in between Kagome and Rin) cheered.

This game officially sucked. Who decided to add alcohol to card games anyway? It seemed innocent at first, a little girl's game with a busty Sango and fiery Kagome; however, when Miroku and InuYasha showed up, Rin knew she'd be in trouble.

The two males after all, had become her drinking buddies and now they were getting her back for slipping them some low level roofies and taking less than appealing photos of them.

_It wouldn't have been bad_, she told herself eyeing InuYasha's try at an innocent look. _I guess I shouldn't have called Koga over to prop both of her buddies in awkward sexual positions and then posting the pictures on myspace._

At least Kagome and Sango found it hilarious, but at the moment Rin was regretting it. InuYasha filled an empty pitcher with various hard liquors, mixing it with a devilish grin on his face before filling up Rin's plastic cup and handing it back to her. They'd only been playing the stupid card game for forty-five minutes or so and Rin was losing big time.

Frowning as her close friends chanted "chug-a-lug", Rin downed the drink in three big gulps, her stomach curling up and dying as the warm liquid forced itself down her throat. It burned and she sputtered, covering her mouth to keep from vomiting, it tasted like yesterday's sweat-soaked gym socks with confectioners sugar.

Her legs had long since gone numb and the temperature was rising, her sweater sticking to her then finding itself tossed halfway across the room as she struggled to seethe number on her cards. This game really sucked, and drunkenly she voiced her opinions only for InuYasha to shove yet another drink in her face.

"Happy birthday," he laughed obnoxiously holding up the now half empty pitch of liquid death. "Now drink up babe!"

Birthdays were meant for a lot of things like money, diamond rights, Ferraris, and flash shinny wrapping papers and bows, but nowhere in Rin's rulebook did it say that revenge was a present. Hell it wasn't something tangible and it didn't have a price tag or receipt, so she didn't want it.

Any other day of the year, sure, she was game. She could take on both Miroku and InuYasha (like she'd had Koga) and drink them under the table, but not tonight. They were cheating, and the worst part was that everyone in the room knew it.

The second drink went down slower than the first. The liquid sloshing over the sides of the plastic cup and all over her clothes. She choked it down, panting as the empty cup fell, her hands flying to wipe away the moisture gathering at her eyes. Did she already mention how much she hated card games because she loathed them and all of her friends at the moment too.

"Hey Rin," She lifted her head acknowledging Miroku's voice. "You about ready to go?"

Go? Where was she going? Rin had no idea and she could hear Kagome and Sango's protests. Were they taking her home? She wondered. Because she wasn't sure if she could stand on her own and the only person who drove over was Miroku, on his scooter.

At least that's the only thing she could plainly remember because of how ugly it was and how stupid Miroku looked on it and Rin had no problems telling him so as she sipped her fourth - or was it fifth drink of InuYasha's poison?

"Come on Rin," it was InuYasha's voice this time. "Time to go!"

Hands, lots of hands grabbed her, pulling her, and hauled her up to her feet, but Rin could only laugh as she staggered. Once or twice running into large objects and crashing to the floor. The pain didn't register in her brain, so falling hard was forgotten as she found herself reinforced into her jacket.

She could still hear Kagome and Sango's angry voices growing louder, the words nothing but baby gibberish and she protested wearing the heavy jacket. Rin was too hot to wear a jacket and she tried pulling it off only for a pair of strong hands smacking hers away.

Somehow her shoes were put on at one point and she was bundled up, Miroku's hypnotic voice echoing in her head. Her mind was fuzzy and shutting down and her skin was burning.

"S-stop!" she tugged her arm reaching for her jacket zipper and trying to pull it down.

"No Rin it's too cold, leave it on." His words were jumbling together but she ignored him.

She was burning up, her gasping for air loud and she choked, Rin was having an attack. A loud swear blew through her ear and hands tugged at her, ripping at her pockets and a solid object was forced into her mouth. The air was disgusting and it resembled the taste of sucking on batteries and Rin gagged swallowing the bile rising in her throat.

That was one way to defend herself against an asthma attack, she mused drunkenly following behind Miroku, his fingers clasped tightly around her wrist. Honestly, she would have chosen to take off everything that was restricting her breathing, mainly her heavy jacket. But at least he'd unzipped it part of the way, so she wasn't going to complain.

Rin, however, did voice her drunken and slurred distaste seeing the rundown scooter as they approached. It wasn't that Rin thought the vehicle was a piece of trash, because it wasn't, but what self-respecting twenty-four year old man purchased and drove a teenaged-girl's type of vehicle. Hell it didn't go over forty-five, talk about a retarded car choice.

Miroku put the helmet on her head instructing her to buckle it as he climbed on the scoot and revved the engine. Though for Rin, she found it the perfect opportunity to hurriedly strip off both jacket and helmet before climbing on behind him and leaving the dam and dreary car lot.

Rin gasped as the cold air hit her bare flesh, her eyes watering from the wind in her face, but she couldn't help laughing. Now this is what she was talking about. Snow fell lightly covering the sidewalks and streets in a thin layer of white. The roads were empty and it was just her and the road, oh yeah and Miroku too.

The feeling of life around her excited Rin, she could feel it building in her abdomen; it was like fire in her veins. No one really liked her when she got like this, Rin needed to give into the pleasure, wanted the stars and the closeness. Okay, so she was a slutty drunk, everyone had potent ional, but it was Rin who loved going out with a bang. Or maybe a good lay.

Rin laughed loudly hearing Miroku's surprised cry, his body tensing. She didn't care who it was, well not really at the moment, and she smiled breathing heavily into his ear as her cold hand tightened around him. It had been quite easy bypassing his pants since she knew how loose he sometimes kept them (unlike other people she knew).

He was hot, his flesh sending chills up her spine and hearing his shocked voice say her name was like well-played music. She didn't pay attention to anything else besides her need, her stupid drunken need, but it was there and it was strong.

She laughed again feeling his hand tugging at hers and when the scooter jerked, she removed her hand from his pants like it was diseased. It jerked again and she heard him swear about black ice, but ice wasn't black, she told herself, it was white. And Rin made the biggest mistake one could, she let go of Miroku as he swerved to gain control.

For a moment it was like Rin stumbled into a dream, she could feel herself falling; hear herself screaming before something heavy and solid came crashing onto her. Light exploded in front of her eyes and when her body stopped rolling it went black.

Rin didn't know how long she'd lost consciousness for, but it was long enough that the hazy drunkenness that clouded her mind to disappear almost entirely. Her body ached; she knew that for certain and it took her a few minutes to gather her bearings enough to stand only to double over and heave up everything she consumed that day.

Her throat burned and she could feel the dampness of her tears as she limped over to a nearby bench. It was cold out, the gooseflesh prickling over her skin and sitting down, she tried to assess the situation.

She didn't know where she was, the street signs blurring together and making her head hurt. It was snowing heavier than it had been before and she was only wearing a flimsy blue tank top and a pair of blue denim jeans. One of her shoes had gone missing and the sock was soaked through and she pulled it off and dropped it.

No sock was better than a wet sock, she explained to herself.

It didn't help that it was the middle of December and it would undoubtedly get colder and since she didn't know where she was, she couldn't go anywhere. Besides, if she left how would Miroku be able to find her?

She had to stay put until he came and retrieved her, it was the only way, so she ignored the loud blaring sounds of sirens all around her and pulled her knees up to her chest and hiding her crying face in her arms. She wouldn't move an inch.

However, not moving wouldn't keep her mind off the stinging pain of her limbs and head so she did the only thing she could think of to do, she sang along to an inaudible song that had been constantly playing on all the radio stations like a bad record.

"…A thousand miles seems pretty far, but they've got planes and trains and cars. I'd walk to you if I had no other way…" Her voice was softer than a whisper, but it was all she needed.

OOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

If there was one thing he hated, it was being interrupted; the other was being interrupted after he had already turned off all of his IM's, pager, and took his home phone off its hook.

Hell, he even turned his cell phone on silent, but it didn't stop them from sending him a text message - several times over. In fact, he not only hated it, it was irritating him and if they didn't stop someone would surely wind up in the hospital.

When the phone stopped going off, Sesshomaru refocused his attention on the more important aspects of life, reading. It was a simple pleasure that he loved to indulge in, but rarely got enough free time to do so, and he'd be seriously cross if he couldn't finish it before the night was through.

All he had left was ten pages, ten pages and then he'd see what his pathetic half brother wanted, because for him nothing else was as important as finish his book. Turning the page, he was drowning out everything he let a small satisfactory grin purse his lips; well at least until there was a loud and annoying pounding on his front door.

Sighing heavily he placed a bookmark on his spot before leaving his comfortable position on his leather couch. Didn't people know that he had a schedule and respected visiting hours? Obviously not because the incessant pounding grew louder and it wasn't InuYasha's voice who he heard calling his name, but his down stair's neighbor, Koga.

"Can't you tell I'm busy?" He said opening his door and glaring down at the nicely tanned black haired man. "What do you want?"

"Sesshomaru!" Koga growled, his electric blue eyes frowning. "You need to start answering your phone! Your shitty brother kept calling my place!"

"Maybe he's trying to bother you," Sesshomaru said looking back at his clock. "What do you want it's almost midnight?"

"InuYasha screwed up big time!" Koga must have liked growling at him and Sesshomaru wondered why the 'wolf' boy was so worked up over a phone call. "Miroku and the rest of them had a drinking contest and Miroku's gotten himself and his retarded scooter into an accident."

"And I should care why?" He asked genuinely bored. Who cared if InuYasha's perverted friend drove drunk and hurt himself? Maybe next time he'd think about staying put.

"They weren't the one's drinking," Koga snapped smashing the cordless phone he'd been holding against the cement floor. "Rin was."

Hearing her name snapped something in the back of his mind and he frowned. "What did they do now?"

"Kagome called crying because the dumbass and his equally dumb accomplice got Rin shit-faced and Miroku took off with her and now she's missing."

Missing? Rin was missing, how? It took Sesshomaru longer than he would have liked to add things together and he cursed under his breath turning his back on Koga before throwing on his shoes and jacket.

They couldn't leave well enough alone could they? Just had to get back at Rin for the whole Myspace fiasco and now they lost her in a scooter accident. Grabbing his cell, Sesshomaru pulled on his thicker jacket before slamming the front door shut behind him.

Together, Sesshomaru and Koga practically flew down the stairs, the elevators taking too long for their liking. They couldn't take the cars because it was snowing too heavily and just by looking at the black road, Sesshomaru knew that there was a big chance of there being black ice.

Cold air hit his face and Sesshomaru breathed sharply, pulling out his cell phone. He still ignored all the text messages and voice mails, they were pointless now. He was angry, an emotion he kept below the surface and refused to let show. Tonight, however, it was apparent as he pounded the ten-digit number that was InuYasha's cell.

Sesshomaru was a reserved stoic creature, but now he was like a provoked American Pit-Bull, baring sharp fangs and preparing for a fight. He didn't even wait for his half brother to say a greeting before he snapped, "Where did he loose her?"

"Around a hundred and ninth avenue and Shea," InuYasha sounded upset and he should have been, it was his fault.

Hanging up and shoving his phone into his pocket, Sesshomaru relayed the information to Koga. One hundred and ninth avenue and Shea, it was only a black or so away and normally that was a good thing, but not when there was a park nearby.

They'd be lucky if they found her alive in this weather, so Sesshomaru and Koga split up; cell phones handy just in case and without time on their side, they searched for Rin.

It was almost like looking for a needle in a haystack the way the snow was falling and it took two double takes for Sesshomaru to see a single mid-calf black snow boot lying in the empty street.

Jesus, it could be hers, he mentally screamed and he felt his heart jump into his chest as he whipped his head around searching for anything, any trace or clue that would lead him to her.

"Rin," he yelled, his voice echoing all around him. "Rin, if you can hear me answer me!"

How long had InuYasha been trying to get a hold of him? Twenty - thirty minutes? How long did it take for InuYasha to find out that there had been an accident? How long had Rin been out in the freezing cold - completely shit faced? Possibly hurt?

He wanted to kick himself in the face for his actions, but how was he supposed to know the situation had been so serious? Truth was he hadn't and if Rin were dead he would partly be to blame.

"RIN!"

That's when he smelled it. It didn't matter how much snow had fallen, he could smell blood, it was almost like a second nature to him. He saw the dark dots on the snow, the almost covered tracks and desperately he followed them.

Both luckily and unfortunately Sesshomaru didn't have to wait long until he spotted her on a wooden bench and he felt his blood freeze. A thin layer of snow covered her, her dark blue jeans and black snow boot sticking out. She had a sock on her shoeless foot and her onyx hair was a tangled mess on her head.

Quickly he rushed to her side, brushing off the snow from her back and another wave of shock hit him; she wasn't wearing a coat. In one swift motion, he shucked off his thick and large winter coat and wrapped her in it, pulling her into his arms as though she weighed nothing.

"Rin," he whispered reaching for his cell. "Hey Rin, wake up."

Her head lolled against his chest, her bangs falling back and Sesshomaru saw her blue tinged lips. She'd been out for too long. Instead of calling Koga, Sesshomaru pulled Rin closer to him and hurried back to his building.

He needed to get her inside and warmed up before he could lose her for good. Once again, he found himself in a race against him and he was praying that it was one he could win.

Twenty minutes - that's how long it took Sesshomaru to get back to his place and he was thankful that he hadn't locked his door because he would have just had to kick it down. He turned his heater on as high as it would go and carried Rin into his bathroom, she was shivering, his body trembling as he stripped the both of them down to their birthday suits and standing underneath the somewhat warm spray of his shower.

Sesshomaru already knew how dangerous it would be to use hot water like he wanted to, but he didn't need Rin going into shock on him. He wasn't a doctor and he wasn't too sure that he could save her if she did.

He heated the water gradually until it was nearly scalding, but he held her close under the waterfall. All he needed to do was get the heat back into her cheeks and something into her stomach and hopefully she'd be okay.

It was a difficult task, getting Rin dry and into some of his warmer clothes, and he hoped he didn't have to do it again because he didn't know if his heart could take it. Once Rin was situated in his bed underneath a few heavy comforters, he called Koga, hinting at an apology for not calling sooner, though never saying it.

Sesshomaru didn't have to apologize to anyone for anything, not now or ever. A fire was started in the fireplace and within an hour Sesshomaru was burning up. Even though he was only wearing his cotton pajama bottoms, he felt like he stumbled into a sauna

He wasn't going to allow the cold in his place and silently he started making a pot of hot tea. Coffee was too strong and heavy and milk and regular water wouldn't sit right, besides he needed an excuse to make up the raspberry tea still sitting unused in his cupboard so who was complaining?

Sesshomaru wasn't silent because he wanted to be, he wasn't making tea like a housewife because he wanted to win best future boyfriend of the year. No - he was silent because he was angry.

Okay, so he was more along the lines of murderous, but at the moment it was all the same to him. He was so angry there were no words that he could think of to say. Rin almost died, she would have died and it was all because InuYasha and Miroku wanted to get back at her.

Well he hoped that they got what they were hoping for because when Sesshomaru was through with them InuYasha would be lucky if he could walk when it was over.

Not only had Rin been underdressed for the weather, but she also had scrapes on her arms and back, not to mention the cut above her left eye that had bled like no other. She's been lucky that it wasn't deep enough to need stitches, but it definitely would leave a scar.

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud ringing of his home phone, his cell having been all but destroyed earlier due to his explosive temper that surfaced and showed it true colors.

Maybe it was true that Rin wasn't his, but he'd be damned before he let his idiot brother hurt someone innocent, someone who deserved more than a lonely freezing death out in an empty park. That was okay for say some dirty homeless person, but not Rin, not her.

"This is Sesshomaru," he said in clipped tones pulling out a cold water bottle from the fridge and taking a few large sips.

"Did you find her?" InuYasha was guilty and wounded and it immediately re-sparked Sesshomaru's anger.

"How fucking stupid are you InuYasha?" He asked cruelly. He wanted his brother to feel the guilt, Sesshomaru wanted to rub it in like salt into wounds. "Do you realize what you and Miroku could have done?"

"No, I- we weren't thinking-" 

"I'll say you weren't thinking!" It was uncharacteristic for him to get this emotional, yet he kept seeing her half frozen and he couldn't stop himself. "You could have killed her! She wasn't even wearing a jacket! I can't believe you even let her out of your fucking sight How much alcohol did you give her - or were you not thinking about that earlier as well?"

"I'm not sure," InuYasha replied and when Sesshomaru growled, he stuttered a more detailed explanation. "We-we decided to maker liquid poison. You know, some ever clear, banana rum, tequila, um and uh some other things we had lying around. I - we didn't…"

Sesshomaru knew exactly what liquid poison was, InuYasha had made it for his bachelor's party almost a year before and it was one of the reasons why InuYasha was such an idiot. Sesshomaru remembered that because of InuYasha's liquid poison two men wound up in the hospital for alcohol poisoning.

It was all too much to process, had his younger brother been dropped on the head a few times as a baby? Just because Rin could put away a lot when she tried didn't make it okay to give her something that made even the best of drinkers get their stomachs pumped. Sesshomaru's vision bled red and if InuYasha had been there, he would have ended up being arrested.

"Jesus fuck!" He yelled into the receiver. "Were you trying to kill her InuYasha?"

"No--"

"Don't interrupt me!" Sesshomaru had been angry before, hell he'd been bloodthirsty angry when his fiancé Kagura broke things off for trailer trash, but this - this was way beyond what he'd ever been before.

He was going to kill his pathetic brother. "Who needs enemies when they have friends like you and Miroku."

Sesshomaru was too wound up to listen to anymore of InuYasha's excuses and hearing his brother beginning another round of protests, he growled slamming the cordless phone on the countertop. Once wasn't enough and two became three, then six until the receiver broke in his hand. He felt better, yes, but not enough to cool himself down.

How could people be so inconsiderate and stupid? He wondered taking the pot off the stove as it began to whistle. How could someone - one of his own family members get so lost in payback and childish revenge enough to get carried away as much as Miroku and InuYasha let themselves?

When did it become okay for two males to use unsavory and low schemes on a twenty-one year old girl? The answer was of course, never, but it still seemed to happen and Sesshomaru was disgusted. To him InuYasha's behavior was unforgivable and he would have to live with it because Sesshomaru wasn't going to allow either of them to forget.

Picking up the steaming mugs of tea, Sesshomaru headed to his bedroom, closing the door with his foot behind him. He set the mugs down on the bed, Rin was gone, but he could hear her retching and he followed the sounds to his bathroom.

She was hunched over the toilet bowl covered in only a light t-shirt, her pale legs curved underneath her and he felt his heart quicken before kneeling next to her. Now wasn't the time to bring up their shared moment six months before, nor was it the place for him to think about the way she felt rocking against him.

Just thinking about her that way made his mouth dry and he mentally berated himself, she needed him and he had to keep such thoughts from his mind; at least for now.

Carefully, he gathered all of her hair in one hand, the other gently rubbing her back as she continued vomiting. He expected her to sleep longer, although he was glad she made it to the bathroom when she did because honestly he was too worn out to clean the bile from his expensive sheets and comforters.

He waited until she had nothing left to heave before flushing the toilet and helping her to her feet. Her entire body trembled and she appeared more fragile than he'd ever seen her before.

A smile however, did come to his face as Rin reached for his toothbrush and immediately began cleaning her mouth with drunken awkwardness. Even when looking her worst she managed to look quiet cute and though he'd never say it out loud, he liked it.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked helping her crawl back under the warm and safe blankets. Jeez, talk about being a mother hen.

"No," She whispered softly taking the hot mug Sesshomaru offered her and slowly drinking the relaxing tea. "I messed up everything."

She looked ready to cry and Sesshomaru wondered how many different shades of Rin there could be after a night of careless drinking. Her eyes closed and silent tears fell from them as she held her tea in her lap. This wasn't supposed to be now she reacted, she should have been angry with InuYasha and Miroku like he was, but she wasn't.

"I can't do anything right," her voice grew a little louder with emotion and Rin needed no prompting from him in order to keep going. "First I mess up the only thing that really mattered with Kohaku because I didn't understand what a break from each other meant.'

"Then I cheat on him with someone else and I get carried away at some bar. I can't say no and now he hates me. I don't even know how I got here, but I know that it's Miroku and InuYasha's way of telling me that Kohaku'll never love me again."

Her words seemed to drag him through the mud and he frowned. "I fail to see how it's your fault that my brother and his companion are idiots. Besides, I'm sure that they didn't want you here and it's not because of this Kohaku."

"But it is!" She sobbed quietly and Sesshomaru sighed taking away her mug and placing it on the nightstand along with his.

"I tried to be what he wanted," she explained staring at him with tear filled eyes. "I did everything I could to make him love me the way he did before, but it wasn't good enough. I'm not smart like she is, I can't talk like her, fuck, I couldn't be like her even if I could go back in time. It's not fair.."

"Like who Rin?" She sounded like a mad woman and if this was how love made people, Sesshomaru was thankful he'd never felt it.

"Sango," her head dropped as she sniffled and suddenly it all made sense.

He's always known that Sango's brother had a sister complex. It was apparent by the way he always watched her and almost never left her side when it could be helped. Originally Sesshomaru thought of it as a weird sibling-bonding thing, but when Sango began dating Miroku, suddenly Kohaku had to have someone as well. Enter Rin

"I still don't see how it's your fault," he told her coldly as he loosely braided his long silver hair. "Why could one girl have so much influence over something like that? You're not some heavenly being you know. You're not perfect."

"But Kohaku would love me if I was," Sesshomaru hated her pity me act, it was childish.

"No one would love you if you were perfect," he said as a matter of fact, his fingers gripping her chin and forcing her to look at him. "Face it Rin, Kohaku wasn't good enough for you. InuYasha and Miroku were getting back at you for you yaoi myspace page featuring them.'

"And thirdly, I don't see it as a bad thing cheating on a psycho boy who loves his sister with someone who makes you talk about rape. Even drunken consensual rape. All those other nobodies don't come close."

"Sesshomaru I-" she stared at him with wide eyes, a light blush staining her cheeks and he wanted to shake her for being so dense.

"Rin, I don't sleep with just anybody." He might as well sink the boat he was shooting at, even if it was the one he was standing on. "You aren't that unfortunate."

He didn't wait for her to reply as he kissed her. It was soft and gentle, his hands cupping her face and cradling her. He wanted to show her that she didn't have to be perfect for him, he actually liked her quirks as weird as they were.

It didn't take long for her to respond to his light touches and soon the innocent kiss turned deeper, blossoming as the passion slowly rose. Large hands floated over her chilled flesh and Rin groaned against his mouth as he trapped her underneath his body, her fingers trembling as they pulled him closer.

Slowly he teased her, lifting her up in a quickly fanned flame before letting her fall down the spiral of ecstasy as he filled her with himself. She felt so perfect, she fitted against him and he poured everything he could into it and more.

Nails dug into his shoulders, yet it was her breathy whispers and half choked moans of his name on her lips that drove him crazy. Sesshomaru's lips tasted every inch Rin had to offer, stealing what she couldn't give and he left her naked and exposed, her body shaking with need as he had his way with her.

Even as she laid panting, exhaustion taking over, Sesshomaru continued to worship her. It made him feel good and when he could last no longer, he pulled Rin into his arms and held her as she drifted off into sleep. He made sure it wasn't Kohaku who she'd be dreaming about for a while and he'd keep it that way for as long as she'd let him.

"You don't have to be perfect for me," he said to no one in particular staring her head as his hand gently up and down her chilled flesh. She was already everything he wanted and more, who needed perfection?

**The End. **

**E/N: **_This short story, was by far, the most OOC when it came to Sesshomaru I believe. Don't really know what to say besides it just happened that way. I thought it works because most of it was a more of inner Sesshomaru feelings and whatnot and because I can take liberties like that! (hides under desk)_

_Know any good RinXSessh stories worth taking a look at, MESSAGE ME! Lol I can't seem to find any! ALSO please leave some feedback, I needs it… MY PRECIOUS! Lol_

_Until Next time…._


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** _If I owned InuYasha, Rin and Sesshomaru would have been making it like jackrabbits already!_

_**WARNING!!!:**_ _These stories contain strong violence, sexual situations, and/or dirty potty mouthed people. If you are easily offended or do not like such material please go ride on your little pretty pink ponies and go fly back over to the innocent side of the rainbow! There's a reason why it's rated "M" children!_

_Well I do have to say that this one, like one of the previous one-shots is not completely Rin/Sesshomaru centric. I've been in the mood to write and I was working on this one, but somehow it got a little twisted. I think I had __**"El Tango De Roxanne**__" still stuck in my head while I was listening to the other song. It might explain what happened, but then again I don't even understand…. _

_The original title for the story had been "Gallery" by Mario Vasquez, but as you can see the title has changed to it's true colors.. SO if you can listen to the song I STRONGLY advise it so you can feel what was going through my head. _

_Anyway, enough with the blabs, hope you enjoy this latest installment because I know I enjoyed writing it for your viewing pleasure! _

**A First Time For Everything**

**By Miztikal-Dragon**

_"El Tango De Roxanne"_ --- Moulin Rouge Soundtrack.

It was maddening, always being just the friend to the one that you love so deeply. Only a friend and nothing more and no matter what happened or what you did you knew that there'd never be a chance for you. It eats at you, slowly and painfully and everyday becomes harder to live because your situation looks just that more hopeless.

I know this because I've been this way for years now, how many I don't want to say because it sounds so pathetic - even to me, yet I can't help but be this way. This is who I was raised to be, the way I wanted to live my life because there is so much out there to offer the world and honestly I wanted to give it to her and oh so much more.

I can be selfish saying that none of it was my fault, that it was the way my parents raised me and how life influenced me that pushed her away, but I won't since we all know that it's not true. Sure she loves me, she tells me so when we hang out together on the weekends, though it's only the platonic love that a girl can give her brother, and it's the love I can't stand because I want her.

I wasn't meant to be her brother, not a friendly figure - not anything like that. I was supposed to be her other half, the love of her life - her one and only and that was stolen from me just like everything else has been. I'll say it's not fair because honestly it's not and I can fight it until I'm blue in the face and there's nothing left, and then I realize there's only so much that I can do. Only so long that she'd let me fight for something that would never be mine.

Depressing, yeah, I know it is, but then again, you don't see what I do on a daily basis. You haven't seen the way her smiles can light up the stars or the way the dimples on her cheeks deepen and her lips curl when she's thinking about something she wants. It's a little childish, the way she behaves, but in the innocent way and every time I see her I fall deeper in love with her and the woman she's become over the years.

Maybe I had a shot, one passed up day in a land of forever ago, and it kills me knowing that she'd never look my way. Maybe I was destined to pine for her until my dying days, I have no idea, but I know which one I would have picked.

Some days are harder than most I'll gladly admit it, but then again she doesn't understand where I'm coming from or what my heart is yearning for. I wished things turned out differently, that I was the only she wraps her arms around and who she kisses and loves; however, all of these are wishes and until I find that genie in a bottle, they will only be hopeless and unfulfilled wishes.

I guess the saying "If horses were wishes then wishers would ride" makes a little sense with what I'm trying to say. I don't know how much I can stress this to her, to my Rin, but she never seems to listen to me when I need her to the most. I've tried countless times to explain to her that he doesn't love her like I do, that this Sesshomaru guy would only break her heart in the end and yet she can only think of me as the jealous overprotective friend.

She makes me want to rip my hair out with how thickheaded she can be. I mean I don't understand why she can't see what I do and I've even shown her proof on my behalf and she ripped the magazine from my hand and threw it out the window, an angry expression on her face. She kept spouting that it was not what it looked like, that Sesshomaru loved her and only her, but I've always wondered about that.

If he loved her so much then why was allowing another girl to rest her catty claws on his arms in public? If he loved her as much as she claimed he did then why didn't he parade her around showing her off the way he did the other women in his life? To me Sesshomaru is a man who can get what ever he wants and now--- well now he wants my loving Rin and all he had to do was flick his wrist and she was falling over her heels for him.

If I were a stronger man I would force Rin to see what she is ignoring, show her that her beloved wasn't all that he wasn't cracked up to be and that she deserved better. I'd show her how much better I could be than the stunning Sesshomaru could ever be if only she'd give me a chance. So what if I'm not as handsome as he is, or that I don't have the money to support his extravagant lifestyle, but I'm not about the monetary gain and I never will be.

I was a simple boy with simple dreams, the white picket fence one car garage, two-point-five children and a dog somewhere down a nice street in a small town. I could give her the world on a platter if she'd only let me try, give her everything a woman could ever want, but she decided that he was better.

And that's just it, I don't understand why she chose him over me. I'm the better man when it comes down to it! I'm the one who deserves her love and her smiles and even her kisses, but I don't have any of it! All I have are old memories of the way it used to be when I was the one she adored, when I was the one she smiled lovingly at. I don't want the past, I want her future, I want to be the main center of it. I want her to love me!

So I did what any other man in my shoes could have done, I began watching Sesshomaru. Watching for the flawless and perfect man to take a stumble and then I'd have him right where I wanted and I would crush him like he did me. I'd finally get it through to Rin that all she was doing with him was wasting her time and that I could forgive her for her misjudgment.

I would finally take her away from the glamorous lights of his fame, away from the neon lights and chrome and into a world that love could blossom like it should. I would give her what life she was originally supposed to have; a life with me and me only. Sesshomaru would be the one stuck with her past and I'd have everything that he took from me and oh so much more because when I was finished I would be the one with Rin. Not him, ME!

It took me a month or two to come up with the perfect plan. The plan that would change three lives all at once and though it did cost me sleep and even the job that I had, I knew this plan of mine would work like a charm. Rin refused to talk to me after the last fiasco and this time it would be different.

This time I wouldn't try taking Sesshomaru down with a flawed plan, I wouldn't be charging in with only my fists and this time I wouldn't be the one holding a broken nose. I wouldn't be the one Rin despised, I would be the one she thanked for the rest of her life for opening her naïve and innocent eyes. I don't care how icy his glare could be because I had perfected my own look and it was deadly.

Okay so maybe I fell in with the wrong crowd after this last time, I know they're not the best company to keep, but they had connections I needed. Naraku had ways to get himself heard and I needed him to get heard as well. He didn't always do things the legal way, not many people did and so what if I contributed to his lifestyle, he was helping me with whatever my heart desired and he knew how much I desire Rin. It was a win/win situation for us both, I mean he got me what I needed and he got whatever he wanted. It was perfect.

The last thing that I needed to do was get all my equipment together and do what needed to be done. I packed up my leather gloves, the nightstick, taser, tear gas, and the trust weapon hidden in the back of my pants. I had more than what was necessary, like the spray paint and ski mask, I mean I wasn't going to rob a bank or anything, but it was better to be prepared for anything.

The duct tape came in handy as I checked the watch on my wrist, the unconscious security guard strapped to his chair out of the way. I had this all timed down to the minute and I had to be in and out in an hour. It was plenty of time for me to go to Sesshomaru's room and deal with the arrogant bastard, plenty of time and a smile graced my lips as I shouldered the duffle bag and pressed the elevator button.

The front doors were locked so no one could go in or out, the key broken inside of the lock and each security camera disabled for identification purposes. I didn't need anybody recognizing me and ruining anything else. I didn't want to explain to Rin why we would have to leave the country if that happened, I don't think she would understand that I had to get rid of Sesshomaru so that we could be together.

The elevator ride was long and boring, the music grating on my nerves and eagerly I jammed the twelfth floor button to try making the stupid contraption go faster. I put on the ski mask just for a better effect and I quickly pulled on the leather gloves, it made me feel like I was in one of those action movies always playing in theaters and it made me smile.

It didn't matter what happened tonight because either way I was going down in history. I would be the man with enough courage to destroy a tyrant of a man, a beast among the crowd of little people who struggled for a better life. I would be a hero, an immortal figure in people's eyes and it made the blood in my veins rush. It was exhilarating and I hadn't even done half of what I was going to.

Once out of the elevator I didn't have to look long to find Sesshomaru's door, I'd followed him enough to know exactly where he lived, where he slept, and anything about him a fan would know but only for a different reason. I wasn't here to squeal and scream over him like a love struck puppy, I was here to give him all that he deserved and more.

I dropped my duffle next to the large wooden door and searched around inside for the mold I had made from Rin's key. Yes I had already broken into her house, but I was on a mission and I would do anything it took to get what I wanted. It slid into the knob easily and clicked, a signal to me that the door was now unlocked for me.

I shuffled quietly into the enormous room, the soft sound of violins and flutes filtering through the air and the distant sound of a shower running. I didn't see anyone come in with Sesshomaru, yet I knew that he wasn't alone. I knew because the woman's shoes were inches in front of me, the disgusting blood red stilettos and they had to belong to one of Sesshomaru's whores.

That's that only explanation because Rin doesn't wear shoes like that, she's classy and she didn't need high heels like those to let anyone know she was tall. All they had to do was look at her legs and they'd know she went on for miles.

My throat was dry and I wasted no time crossing the living room to the open door that was his bedroom. I could hear him talking to his female companion, his voice silky smooth and seductive like all those trashy magazines claimed it to be. The very same voice Rin had spent so many nights cooing over, falling in love with and it only disgusted me more.

Kicking the door completely open, I threw my duffle bag to the floor. It destroyed the conversation Sesshomaru was having and I stared into those haunting amber orbs from across the room. His long silver hair was wet and a maroon towel was draped around his bare shoulders. He was already dressed for bed in his dark silk blue pajama bottoms, and he was frozen and it was because of me.

"What are you doing in my home?" His voice was demanding and cold and if he had been near anything I knew he would have attacked me with it.

"I've come to stop you Sesshomaru!" I growled angrily pulling the revolver from its hiding spot in the back of my pants.

I had taken it from my father's gun collection case. He had spent years building up his deadly masterpiece and it was only fitting that I use it in the way it was intend, to kill the vermin of this world. I cocked it and Sesshomaru stopped moving, his eyes wide, yet unfolding and I wanted to throw something at him.

"Stop me from what, sleeping?" he retorted and I knew he was toying with me, but oh-- only I would have the sweet taste of victory.

"I won't let you take her!" I hissed stepping closer. "I WON'T LET YOU TAKE HER FROM ME!"

The bathroom door swung open and a voice called out to Sesshomaru and I flinched. My hand swung on its' own and the first gunshot rang out like a church bell and I could hear Sesshomaru's bloody scream.

She shouldn't have jumped out on me like that and I stood there dumbstruck staring at the gun, the crumpled figure of a woman lying on the bathroom floor. She had a white towel rapped around her form that was now stained with red, her blood pooling out of her shoulder and onto the tile floor.

My hands were shaking but it was okay, I didn't know her, so there was no guilt, but the way Sesshomaru darted toward her made me flinch and for the second time the gun fired, hitting the already wounded woman and I knew I had made a mistake.

I watched from across the room as Sesshomaru gathered her into his arms, her limp body like a broken doll and for the first time the inhuman man seemed human. I heard his quiet sobs as he touched her face and carefully I stepped forward. I wanted to see who was more important to him than his own life. I wanted to see who it was because I wanted to know the face of the woman who could make him cry.

"Stay away from her!" Sesshomaru growled staring at me with deadly cold eyes and I couldn't help but stop in my tracks.

Ebony hair and creamy pale skin slid out from underneath the soiled towels and blue unseeing eyes stared up at the ceiling and I felt the bile rise in my throat. It was my Rin..

Horrified I pulled the ski mask off my face and let it fall to the floor. What had I done? I came to kill a beast and instead I slaughtered an angel.

"This is all your fault," I told him raising my weapon again. It was all his fault. "You should have stayed away from her."

He looked like an enraged demon, but none of his feelings could compare to what I felt for Rin and what I was feeling because I had lost her forever. I didn't wait for him to put her back on the floor and to attack, no, instead I open fired on him. The gunshots were like firecrackers as they went off. One into his shoulder, another two in his abdomen, and the other in his back as he tried to get away.

I wouldn't let him though, I would never let him get away and when my ears stopped ringing I did the only thing I could think of to do, I went to Sesshomaru's unmoving body and I kicked him. Now it wasn't soft to make sure he was dead, no, I full out kicked his head with my steal-toe boots because I knew I could.

"I hope you rot in hell." I spat not allowing my eyes to drift to my precious Rin's body.

I don't remember too much what I did after that, but the next thing I did know was that I was on the roof of the enormous building. It was cold outside and I shivered standing on the ledge. I could hear the police sirens growing louder and I sighed. Without Rin here by my side life just didn't sound interesting or livable. I didn't want to exist if she wasn't with me.

Turning my back towards the fifteen story drop, I slipped the revolver barrel into my mouth. This is how the story was ending and that was that. No pain, no gain and there was nothing else that I wanted. Taking a silent moment I whispered a silent prayer to myself before I cocked the gun and pulled the trigger.

And yet it didn't go off. It is my luck that I could fail at killing myself and I look around just for one moment and realize that I had wasted all the remaining bullets on Sesshomaru so of course there would be none left for myself.

So I do the only thing I can do, I close my eyes and let myself fall backwards.

-Fin-

E/N: So I'm pretty sure people want to hurt me, but that's okay. I'll probably be doing a few more stories like these. They are just so awesome to think of and maybe a uncharacteristic, but if I was obsessed like that it's always a possibility if I was that crazy.

THANKYOU! To everyone who has reviewed my mini stories so far, I greatly appreciate it. That being said I'm off to my mom's house to go get my sister so I can take her to see Enchanted! Kyah I'm so nice it sickens me.

UNTIL NEXT TIME!!!!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** _If I owned InuYasha, Rin and Sesshomaru would have been making it like jackrabbits already!_

_**WARNING!!:**_ _These stories contain strong violence, sexual situations, and/or dirty potty-mouthed people. If you are easily offended or do not like such material please go ride on your little pretty pink ponies and go fly back over to the innocent side of the rainbow! There's a reason why it's rated "M" children!_

So—wow, been forever and a day since I posted something new and this time it's a big one. I've been working on this story since the beginning of January, so I'm really excited to know what you all have to say about it. Hope you like it! Will be working on more soon.

This story was written listening to "Breathe" by Nickelback, 'Savior' by Skillet and "Coming Undone" by Korn. SO PLEASE READ AND ENJOY YAY!

A First Time For Everything

'_**Savior'--**__Skillet_

'_**Breathe'**_ – _Nickelback_

'_**Coming Undone'**_-- _Korn_

Lights flashed and sirens cried loudly as they traveled quickly down the road. Cars were sitting in traffic not moving anywhere with any plans of budging any time soon. Annoyed and cursing, people honked their horns, some screaming obscenities as they hung halfway out their vehicle windows. It would be easily a couple of hours more before anyone would get to their destinations and no one would be on time.

However, others merely shook their heads sympathetically before turning on their radios and drowning everything else besides the music out. It may take a while until they could get on their way, but it wasn't going to be wasted by getting angry and having a temper tantrum. That always made things worse than what they were and one person didn't care for the added drama.

Brown eyes watched uninterested from inside one of the many vehicles, arms crossed and laying on the steering wheel, fingers tapping on the wheel to the song playing on the stereo. She felt bad for whomever was closer to the billowing gray smoke, since the man on the radio moments before said it was yet another fatal collision.

Sure she was one of the probable hundreds who were now currently stuck and her plans for the day were ruined, but it didn't make the situation suck any less. They weren't important plans – not in a life or death situation kind of plans, yet she couldn't help but heave a loud and overdramatic sigh causing long tendrils of midnight hair to obscure her vision.

This would make it the fourth time this month she wouldn't be able to hang out with close friends or get to play porno-pictionary with them and life at the moment really sucked for her, hardcore. Job searching wasn't going as she planned, no one wanted to have a young girl bright enough to work almost anywhere yet have dangerously white skeletons slipping out from the closet and being exposed. Not to mention her landlord was refusing to fix her hot water heater until she paid her rent, which was only two weeks late, but that was besides the point.

Looking at herself from the rearview mirror she felt her heart grow heavy. These days she barely had enough money to stretch -- hell, shampoo and conditioner almost didn't fit the budget. Tearing her eyes from the mirror she turned off her engine and the music instantly died, she only had half a tank left and she would be lucky if she made it to Sango's house without calling for the aide of a tow truck if she could manage to scrounge up a couple bucks in change. Now she was definitely regretting getting on the highway instead of using surface streets.

There was nothing for her to do and she mentally cursed herself for not bringing the Sudoku book her mother had given her for Christmas like she usually did, at least that would have been productive. Rolling down her window she found herself smiling as she watched a few children running in between the still cars. It reminded her so much of when she was younger and she resisted the urge to get out of her car and play tag with them.

Bored already with the silence inside her enormous metal deathtrap, she climbed out of the driver's seat crossing the length of the older pick up and opening the tailgate. She reached for the bags that had been tossed around like nothing while she'd been driving. It was comical to onlookers watching her ruffle through the bags not finding anything to her liking before slamming the tailgate and stomping back to the driver's side. She grumbled irritably to herself remembering that anything and everything possibly useful was somehow always forgotten back at her apartment.

Sure she was beginning to look like an irritated adolescent throwing a tantrum like a few others already had, but she held onto none of her dignity as she blew raspberries at everyone who gave her a look, dirty or not.

A low chuckle startled her out of her tantrum and she whirled around finding herself in the company of a man in his mid twenties. "You sure showed them."

"Well they deserved it," she said flippantly as she placed her hands on her hips and stuck out her chest comically. "Besides, someone has to look like the bigger person."

A large smile spread on the man's face and she couldn't help but blush, he looked absolutely delicious when he smiled. He had bronze skin, the delectable shade that gave a girl fantasies and she immediately imagined him as the type who spent long hours in the sun, either on a beach or working. However, which one it really was she wasn't too sure since both were plausible answers.

Black hair was pulled tightly into a long braid that wrapped seductively over his shoulders, a white polo shirt which fit smugly over his chest and an old pair of blue jeans and plain sneakers looked almost too good on him and she wondered if he really was the person who picked out his clothes in the morning. If he didn't he wouldn't know what he could do to young girls and that was allowable, but if he did, then this man was dangerous.

"I'm InuYasha," his smile became cocky as he stuck out his hand.

"Rin," she replied taking the offered appendage and shaking it.

A conversation wasn't hard to strike up after that and while they waited for the traffic to pick up they laughed and chatted about everything under the sun. Old memories, high school days, their romantic interests, both current and past, and many others like they had been merely estranged friends reunited. It made Rin begin to believe that maybe being stuck out in the middle of a highway surrounded by cars wasn't such a bad thing after all.

"Hey InuYasha?" Rin asked nervously pulling at her fingers. "Do you think I could borrow a few bucks from you? I need to get gas and I don't have anything on me."

He flashed her a seductive smile before putting on his helmet. His motorcycle glimmered in expensive and beautiful metal and Rin felt a little stupid asking a guy she barely knew for money. Brake lights flashed red in a wave of light and horns honked excitedly, the accident was finally clearing up.

"Tell ya what," InuYasha said sincerely. "You follow me to the nearest gas station and I'll fill you up."

"What—No!" Angry shouts came from behind her pick up truck where it stayed empty and still in park. "I couldn't. I mean I wouldn't have the funds to repay you for while."

"Then think of if it as a gift," he told her. "For gracing me with your wonderful presence this afternoon. Lemme do this for you Rin."

Merely nodding in silent agreement, Rin hopped back into her truck and followed InuYasha. Music blared from her speakers and she couldn't help but smile. It felt like forever since she met someone new and exciting like InuYasha appeared in her life and she hoped that it didn't end when they said their 'good byes'. She didn't like people knowing about her financial struggles, especially someone she just met, but somehow it felt right letting InuYasha inside.

Night soon fell and the two of them stood propped up against her truck at the local in-and-out gas station, laughing together while slowly eating cheap hotdogs and a shared bag of chips. The faded sounds of helicopters told them that the accident was forgotten, and yet the time they shared wasn't. But it only lasted so long and when InuYasha's cell phone went off, a light dusty blush coating his face Rin knew it was time for him to go.

"Don't ever hesitate to call me Rin," he said handing her his card, his lips brushing her forehead. "I'll drop anything I'm doing, you're like a helpless lamb and I'll be here for you."

"Gee thanks InuYasha," she said sarcastically. "Now I'm going to go home and get eaten by a wolf, just to spite you."

His laugh was musical and slipping his card into her back pocket she promised InuYasha to call him when she had free time. It was the beginning to a friendship she longed for and it made her stomach fill with butterflies. With one last overdramatic handshake and a few lewd comments tossed between the two of them, InuYasha hopped on his motorcycle and disappeared around the corner.

Climbing into her truck Rin turned on the engine and seeing how much time had gone by she banged her head lightly against the steering wheel. She still had an hour drive to go but it wouldn't be as bad as she led herself to believe it would have been earlier. Now she had a smile on her face and a bounce in her shoulders singing along to the songs on the radio.

Normally Rin wasn't the type to accept charity from people, she hated them knowing how badly she had to struggle. She wasn't the kind of person to take handouts but this time she wanted it. Hell she refused to move in with her once long time boyfriend Kohaku just because he said he wanted to take care of her.

She refused the boy she loved because of they way he looked at her when he said it. Rin refused him every time not only because of her need for self-preservation and independence but because she was afraid of living with him completely alone. The way he looked at her when he pleaded for her to let him take care of her scared her.

Kohaku himself wasn't a scary person, he was almost as gentle as boys could be, yet there was a part of her that couldn't help but wonder if it was real. No one could be so understandingly nice, so easy going and perfect. Rin knew better than to believe that again. And though he never gave her a reason to think the way she did there was something about him that she couldn't explain.

He always smiled, it was as if it was permanently glued to his face, but Rin knew they weren't real. Sometimes when Kohaku smiled Rin saw the hollow look in his eyes, or the way he never relaxed always waiting for something to attack. It made her nervous occasionally, or those piercing eyes that stared longingly at her with hidden shadows; those looks were what scared her most.

On a few incidences it was the way he said things, loving words laced with a dark double meaning that in the past destroyed some of the most precious moments. It was like Kohaku was the boy of her dreams, but also the monster in her worst nightmares and how he could be both was a mystery to her.

When Rin pulled into Sango's driveway over an hour later the clock on the radio read a little after ten. Yeah, it was safe to say that she was more than a little late and there was little doubt that her long time friends were already gone. The lights were almost all off and Rin sighed grabbing her bags from the back, Sango and Kagome would be upset she didn't call, but it wasn't like she didn't try, her cell having died four and a half hours before.

As always the spare key was hidden underneath the welcome mat and Rin let herself in replacing the key where it belonged. The kitchen light was on, a small plate of goodies sitting on the table underneath a note just waiting for her and not wanting to disappoint, Rin popped a cookie or two into her mouth and read the clearly written note.

_Rin – _

_Miroku came by and Kagome had plans. Tried getting a hold of you. I'll be back in a few days so make yourself at home. _

_-- Sango._

She'd be back in a few days? Well Rin wasn't expecting that and she couldn't inhabit someone else's house even if it was Sango's. Scribbling down her own note, Rin picked back up her belongings and the glass plate of cookies. If there was one thing Rin was infamous for, it was hijacking any sweets she found and she wasn't going to leave them there and let them go stale.

Juggling everything she had to carry, Rin managed to lock the door behind her as she left. She would just have to wait until she could afford to get out to see her friends, though next time she'd take the surface streets to be on the safe side. Grant it another long car ride back to her dingy apartment wasn't in the slightest on the top of her list of things to do; however, she did a lot of things she didn't like.

Carelessly she tossed her bags into the back of her truck popping yet another of the delicious morsels into her mouth as she reached for her keys. Maybe she should look into getting a place closer to Sango and Kagome, it would alleviate some of her money problems and it was obviously a better choice to the one she currently had.

Rin spun overdramatically towards her door and instead of unlocking it, her vision swam, the plate of cookies she held slipping from her hand and crashing to the pavement. She suddenly felt warm all over and her muscles were quickly growing numb. It felt like she had been drinking Tequila like it was water and her knees buckled. What was happening to her? She hadn't been drinking anything, she wasn't tired, but her body was beginning to shutdown on her.

"It's a good thing those sedatives decided to kick in now instead of later," a soft voice said, the clicking of shoes against the sidewalk grabbing Rin's attention. "You could have seriously hurt yourself if you'd been driving down the road when it happened."

"You're not supposed to be within five hundred yards of me," her head lolled to the side and she could feel the stinging burn of hot tears as she stared at his shoes. "It says so in the restraining order."

His laughter made her want to rip out her hair and she could only close her eyes as he scooped her up in his arms and carried her back into the dark house. Rin should have known better – wherever Sango was Kohaku was certainly around nearby and somehow she'd gotten herself caught in another of his traps.

Never had it been about Rin being afraid of Kohaku before, but it hadn't become a reality until she refused him did he become more possessive. At first it was cute, but the cuteness didn't last long. Soon he'd been following her to work, to the grocery store, calling her every five minutes and when she turned her cell on silent he broke into her apartment and waited for her hiding in the shadows.

And just when Rin thought it couldn't get worse, Kohaku showed her a side of himself she thought impossible to be dwelling inside of him. She tried telling Sango, but she refused to listen; after all, there was no way her brother was capable of such evils, no, not Kohaku. It was as if they all refused to believer her; however, when she wound up in the hospital with a dislocated shoulder and four broken fingers, they began to sing another tune.

That was when Rin had the police involved and eventually a restraining order and she honestly thought it would be okay. And for the first two months it had been until Kohaku showed up at her new apartment in the middle of the night, sitting next to her while she slept just watching her. Rin didn't know how he got in or how she'd woken up, yet by dawn Kohaku was in the back of a police cruiser and she was boarded up in her tiny bathroom trying to be coaxed out by an officer and paramedic.

You'd figure he'd learn his lesson and Rin had thought she was in the clear this time. Sango said Kohaku had gone back home to stay with their dad and it was okay to come visit her and Kagome. Rin had figured waiting six months would have been enough time to let things cool down and go back to the way things were and somehow she found herself in another mess and this time no one was there to help her. Sango wouldn't be back for a few days and nobody knew she made it to Sango's safely, well nobody but Kohaku.

So when she woke up, her limbs tingling, her head throbbing and her throat dry she knew it hadn't been a horrible nightmare. The ceiling was high, she could see the wooden beams and she wanted to cry. Rin could hear the dryer going off in the far corner, she was in Sango's basement and it meant that there was only one exit.

Why wasn't she allowed to have a sane lifestyle, with a sane boyfriend with a no-violence policy? Was it really that impossible to be able to be completely safe without the nagging knife of danger stabbing her constantly? Well whether it was or wasn't, Rin definitely wasn't waiting around for someone else to decide it for her.

Slowly climbing to her feet, Rin looked around the room for anything that she could use to defend herself with. Of course there was never anything when she desperately needed it, but it wasn't too much of a surprise, hell he'd taken her car keys, her class ring, her studded belt, all of her piercings, and even her shoes. He wanted to make sure that she wouldn't have a weapon and it made her want to scream.

"I was wondering when the drugs would wear off," Kohaku's voice came with a pillar of light and Rin had to shield her eyes from the brightness when the switch was flipped on. "I was getting a little worried when day three came and went and you were still unconscious."

"How long have I been out?" She could feel him getting closer, his bland eyes staring intently at her and it made her shudder.

"Almost five days," Rin was certain she looked horrified by the way he gave her a sheepish grin.

Five days? He'd put enough sedatives into his concoction of sweet treats that she was surprised she was still breathing. Was he honestly trying to kill her? Kohaku was in reaching distance when she snapped out of her thoughts and instead of flinching like any sane person, she pulled her fist back and punched him square in the Adam's apple.

It all happened too fast for Rin to completely understand what was happening. First Kohaku's surprised cry hit her ears and in the blink of an eye she darted for the stairs and was racing up them. She heard him calling her name, feel his hands as they ripped her shirt, but she fought him like if she were caught she'd die, and to Rin getting caught was a death sentence.

Rin went even as far as to pathetically trip over the last step, tumbling to the ground, Kohaku's hand wrapped tightly around her ankle. He looked furious trying to pull her back into her hole, into her hell and she could feel herself panicking. And if things couldn't get worse her ears caught the recorded message on the answering machine and when she heard Miroku's voice calling for her to pick up she started screaming for help.

Sure it wasn't the smartest thing she ever did, screaming for someone she knew couldn't hear her, though it was all she could think to do. Rin was halfway out of the basement door, her hands clawing for anything when Kohaku jerked her onto her back and it took seeing him for Rin to react again. She couldn't let him do this to her again, she had to get away and fast before the adrenaline could be given the chance to wear off.

"I won't let you do this to us Rin," he told her sharply tugging at her legs. "We were meant for each other!"

NO! NO! She mentally screamed as she struggled to get away. She wasn't going back there, not on Kohaku's life and not while she still had strength left to put up a fight. He was almost on top of her, grabbing at her when she turned and elbowed him. Rin wasn't going to give in and letting out a strangled scream she elbowed him in the face for good measure.

She heard the sickening snap and felt the warm spray of liquid as Kohaku snapped back, his left hand holding his broken nose. He was caught off guard by the sudden pain and Rin managed to wiggle her knee up and she kicked him. She didn't care if she hurt him, it didn't matter and she kicked him again only to see him lose balance and tumbled backwards rolling down the wooden stairs and flopping onto the ground like a sack of potatoes.

Kohaku could have been seriously hurt in the fall, or worse even killed; however, Rin didn't stick around to check. She didn't spare him even a pity look as she scrambled to her feet and out the front door. Rin didn't bother to think about possible consequences as her trembling fingers groped for the spare set of keys wired underneath her thick uni-body frame, she just knew that she had to runaway before he could be given the chance to get up and come after her.

There was no looking back now, no pretending that she was an innocent victim and her tires squealed taking a hard right, smoke pluming out of her hood before the dingy pick up truck sputtered and stalled. She wasn't a creature of luck unless it was the bad kind and Rin cursed loudly sliding out of her vehicle, slamming the door shut behind her. She didn't know where the nearest gas station was, let alone what time it was and she wasn't wearing any shoes. Grumbling under her breath, Rin continued on foot at a faced-paced job. She had to get off the main road if she wanted to stay off Kohaku's radar.

After receiving a few weird looks from other pedestrians, she managed to get to the closest gas station in once piece, not to mention a handful of change from a woman who turned pale at the mere sight of Rin. If appearances could kill then Rin would have easily been twelve feet under instead of the standard six and it wasn't very uplifting.

Getting anyone to help her at the gas station was like asking a turnip to spit blood, but after digging through her pockets like a drug user needing a quick fix she found a small card and she almost cried in joy. Kohaku hadn't found it and it was her only ray of hope left as she shoved coins into a pay phone and dialing his number.

"What do I have to do to get inside of you, to get inside of you? 'Cause I love the way you move when I'm inside of you, when I'm inside of you." His ring back tone was a song she recognized, but couldn't place and just when she thought it would go to voicemail, he picked up.

"This is InuYasha," she could feel the tears brimming at her eyes and she choked back a sob.

"InuYasha, I need your help."

"Who is this?" He asked confused.

"It's Rin," the tears fell and she sniffled trying to hold back everything and failing miserably.

"What's wrong?" She could hear the worried tone of his voice and she knew immediately that she made the right choice calling him. "Are you okay?"

"No," she whispered softly cradling the receiver. "I need help InuYasha, can you come get me?"

She hadn't lied to him before and she didn't feel the need to start just to avoid the embarrassment and shame she was currently feeling. When he asked her where she was Rin had to crane her neck to see the crossroads and he immediately said he knew where she was and to stay put, he was on his way. Rin didn't need to be told twice and after he hung up she curled up underneath the metal payphone, wrapping her arms around her legs and hiding her face from view as she cried.

It was all too much for her to handle. Life wasn't supposed to be this way. She wasn't supposed to have a mentally corrupted ex-boyfriend who turned into her very own personal stalker. She couldn't get away from him no matter how hard she tried, hell, Rin couldn't even live her own life the way she wanted to because it seemed like he was always there cutting her off at every possible corner.

She lost track of how long she waited, though InuYasha stayed true to his word and immediately went to her side. She hadn't been paying attention so when his hand touched her shoulder, Rin practically jumped out of her skin, resulting in a decent sized goose egg on her forehead after smashing it onto the metal payphone stand.

"Oh my God Rin you're covered in blood are you hurt?" InuYasha gasped loudly pulling her to her feet and beginning to poke and prod at her for any injuries.

"It's not my blood," she was at a loss of what to say as she finally looked down at herself.

It explained why people had been avoiding her on the street, her ripped shirt stained pink and red as well as the exposed parts of her favorite lace bra, which was now officially ruined. InuYasha gave her a look that said she would definitely be explaining everything, yet he didn't ask her any more questions as he shrugged off his jacket and instructed her to put it on.

Rin did as she was told, even as going as far as to put on his helmet as she situated herself on the back of his motorcycle. They didn't speak while he revved his engine, Rin merely wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his back and enjoyed the peace while he weaved in and out of traffic.

By the time they reached his flat she was dozing in and out of sleep and InuYasha had to carry her up the stairs when her knees buckled and she managed to skin them on the pavement. He only shook his head and after juggling the keys and Rin, the door was opened and she was finally safe behind locked doors.

His flat was similar to the ones found in all of those IKEA magazines, pleasant and interesting, but ordinary and plain. It was so gender neutral that it had her wondering if her new savior happened to flavor both sides of the pleasure boat instead of only the girls with lacy bras and underwear section of life.

Just the thought of the possibilities of his sex life had her smiling like a fool and if he hadn't just rescued her like some night in shinning armor riding a Harley Davidson motorcycle, she would have dived headfirst into embarrassing questions that were more or less 'triple X' rated for a reason.

"Hey Rin are you listening?" InuYasha handed her a bundle of clothing and she frowned wondering how long he'd been talking and why she drifted off into la-la land like some rabid high school fan girl.

"Huh?" If there was an award for dumbest confused look Rin would have won it, no competition needed. "Oh, sorry I guess the drugs haven't worn off yet…"

"Drugs? Are you on something?" He was suddenly angry. "Cause if you're a user you can march yourself out my door. I won't associate with that shit."

"No, oh my God!" Open mouth insert food. Did she fail to mention that she was more air-headed sometimes than Kelly Bundy from the old television show 'Married with Children'?

"Normally I won't even touch Tylenol for headaches," she tried defending herself, her hand holding InuYasha's sleeve so he wouldn't turn away from her. "But Kohaku –he, well… I arrived at my friend's house and they all left, and I was going to also, but he'd been waiting for me—I didn't know there were sedatives… fuck, this is so-o-o uncool…"

"Shit Rin, how long were you there?" If Rin had told him that the sun was polka dotted InuYasha would have believed her in a heartbeat seeing the tears in her eyes, but she brushed them off trying to keep composure.

"I don't know," she sniffled sitting down on a nearby sofa and running her hands through her slightly tangled hair. "He said five days and knowing Kohaku he probably put enough sedatives to knock out a small horse."

"Well you can stay here as long as you need," InuYasha said walking away and grabbing a few towels from the cabinet in the hall. "Here are some towels, the showers down the hall to the right. Take a shower and get yourself cleaned up. You can sleep in my room tonight because I can't stay long. I kinda have plans I can't break. Jesus-fuck, I sound like such a schmuck."

"No you don't I appreciate you trusting me in your home." It was the honest-to-god's truth, she did and InuYasha gave her a lopsided grin handing her the towels.

"Don't worry Rin," he told her placing a soft kiss on her forehead. "I'll protect you while you're here."

It was oddly comforting that InuYasha was so sincere and it made her think of him in a new light while she stripped off her clothing and stepped under the spray of hot water. He was acting like an over protective brother, one that she had never had being an only child and it was heartwarming. She recalled friends trying to explain it but she never really understood until then what they really meant.

Rin had absolutely no trouble drifting off to sleep that night after slipping into InuYasha's bed. The comforters were soft and bulky and she sunk into the mattress instantly deciding that she had died and gone to heaven. InuYasha was just too good to be real and she mentally wondered what she ever did to deserve to meet someone like him because she hadn't exactly been a saint in the last couple of years.

Waking up the next morning Rin felt a little disoriented and muscles she forgot she had silently ached. It took her several times until she was able to get herself out of InuYasha's comfortable bed, small bruises forming on her knees after having rolled off the side.

She scratched her stomach lazily rubbing the bottom of her foot against her calf when she was able to stand straight up without wobbling. It felt like forever ago since she had a decent night's sleep and she was feeling surprisingly better. Maybe it was from knowing that at least she would be out of harms way or maybe it was comforting that there were still people in the world who would help a stranger no questions asked.

The grumble from her stomach was loud enough to her ears and Rin yawned tiredly. There would definitely be food in the kitchen, she was pretty positive about that and she was certain that InuYasha wouldn't mind her getting rid of her hunger pains. After all she was his guest. The kitchen was a decent size and normally she would have gone straight to the cupboards to hunt down food; however, there wasn't enough room for two fully grown adults to maneuver themselves around comfortably.

"Oh," he was tall, mysterious, and yummy looking, even more so in a pair of baggy red and green flannel pajama pants and a crisp white wife beater. "Uh, good morning."

Her mystery man sat comfortably on a kitchen stool, a spoon of cereal in one hand and the morning paper in the other. A small pair of reading glasses sat on the bridge of his nose and long silver-white flowed over his shoulders and down his back and when he glanced up at her she felt her knees buckle. He looked like he belonged in some naughty magazine, and his molten golden eyes had the 'come hither' expression, but laced with an icy coldness that made her forget temporarily that she was practically drooling at the mere sight of him.

"Where did you come from?" He didn't seem interested in the slightest and he demonstrated such by getting out of his seat and dumping his full bowl of cereal into the sink. Talk about wasting food, he could have fed easily three starving children in Africa, but instead he let it pour down what she assumed to be the garbage disposal.

"Uh," Rin raised her eyebrows curiously at his actions. "From the bedroom."

The look he gave her then was enough to freeze fire and she mentally smacked herself for stating the obvious like an idiot. Rin side stepped as her companion crossed her path, the faint smell of faded cologne tickling her nostrils, she could already tell that he thought she was stupid and that was okay with her because at the moment she thinking the same thing.

"Don't think you're anything special," Rin wasn't expecting him to say anything but her eyes watched him stop at the doorway to another room and turn to look at her with an emotionless mask. "I'm sure InuYasha gave you exactly what you—and others have wanted."

He was cold and his voice was cruel, with a hint of amusement from his own words. "But lets be adults about this." There was a slight pause as he faced her completely, one of his well-toned biceps flexing as he rested his hand on his hip. "It was a one time fling. He doesn't want you anymore than you want a sexually transmitted disease. That being said, there's forty dollars on the counter, get dressed and call a taxi, it's best that it stays a one-night stand. InuYasha's not your type."

Rin stood in the middle of the kitchen with her mouth open and eyes wide trying to absorb every word he said and put it all together. Did he honestly think she slept with InuYasha like some lust-struck slut? It was a blow to her ego and her hand snapped out to grab the counter to keep her legs from giving out from underneath her. Of all the people who called her a whore he'd been the only person who really made it known that she was worthless. It was a feat even Kohaku and Sango, not to mention all of the other boys she'd dated over the years combined could never do and she wanted to fall over laughing.

"You're absolutely right," she tried choking back her laughter while hiding her face with her free hand. "I'm totally not his type. Hell, He's not even the kind of guy I would think twice about."

"It's good you've come to an understanding," he was dismissing her like a helpless emotionally wrecked girl and Rin lost it.

The laughter pour out of her mouth like an exploding volcano and it surprised the both of them. It was mind numbingly hilarious to Rin when she thought about it that she was holding her sides because laughing was physically hurting her. She hadn't heard herself laugh so freely in what felt like forever and Rin could feel the tears slipping from the corners of her eyes as she struggled to breathe. All of the fear and stress that was shoved into her stomach was being released and she thought she was going to die because of it.

It took her a few minutes to calm herself down enough to where she could breathe and when all the laughter subsided she felt almost empty enough to really cry. He wasn't even trying and this mystery man was able to make her feel emotionally drained. But then again, she supposed that anyone could get her so wound up after everything that happened to her recently.

"Thanks," Rin chuckled wiping away the fallen moisture from her eyes. "I really needed that. I haven't laughed like that since I don't know when."

He was frowning now and Rin took a deep breath and flattened out the imaginary wrinkles in the overly baggy t-shirt and pajama pants she wore. "It wasn't meant to be funny."

"Well Mr. Tall-handsome-but-angry," she said tipping her head to the side. "A lot of things we mean and don't mean can backfire sometimes. Welcome to reality, I hope you enjoy your stay."

Rin had seen an angry man before; in fact, she'd seen enough to last her a lifetime, yet not once had she seen one react as badly as the one in front of her. In less than three steps, he was towering over her, his molten eyes ablaze and his feminine eyebrows scrunched tightly together. He was a completely different creature up close and personal and Rin's blood froze as his long fingers curved around her wrist hard enough to bruise.

He whipped her around like a rag doll and Rin cried out every time her small frame met with a solid object like the edge of the countertop or a random wall. She yelled for him to let her go as he dragged her into InuYasha's room and grabbed her few articles of clothing. She was afraid, deathly afraid and she tried her hardest to release his vice grip before he flung her and she toppled onto the carpet like a sack of potatoes.

She felt the sudden pull of the muscles of her shoulder and heard the quick pop and she hissed loudly rolling onto her side. Her wrist was sore and the side of her thigh burned from sliding on the carpet. He was definitely stronger than Kohaku, even Hikaru and Satoru, and she groaned digging her face into the carpet; she should have kept her big mouth shut.

"Fuck," Rin whispered to herself, her teeth grinding together as she struggled to get to her feet using only her one hand. "Fuck, fucking Jesus-FUCK!"

Tears stung her eyes when she finally managed to stand a few minutes later, her good hand cradling her dislocated shoulder. She never believed when Miroku told her it would be easy to pop her joint from its socket after the first time, but now she was a firm believer and she only hoped that his suggestion for getting it back in place worked.

Cautiously Rin edged her way to the nearest doorframe, the mysterious, violent, yet gorgeous man watching her with a deadpan emotionless expression. Well she didn't think he was anything to drool over now, not after he reintroduced her to the floor. He was just like very other guy, completely worthless and nothing but a piece of shit. "What do you think you're doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing captain obvious?" She snarled glaring at him from over her shoulder. "I'm going to un-dislocate my shoulder, no thanks to you. Jesus fuck what did I ever do to deserve this? Gimme a fucking break!"

She took a deep breath before slamming her shoulder into the fame, the sickening pop making her stomach lurch and she nearly screamed as the ball joint was forced back into its socket. If she hadn't been crying earlier she definitely was now it hurt so bad. She was going to have to find a way to the hospital so she could make sure everything was in it's rightful place and she almost sighed. She hated hospitals.

"Don't bother apologizing," she told him after a moment when she was able to gather enough bearings to speak. "I don't care if you didn't mean to do it. I'm just getting my shit and I'm gone."

"I wasn't going to," he replied crisply as he eyed her grabbing her clothes from the floor.

"Huh," Rin chuckled bitterly. "Why am I not surprised? At least this time I was granted the pity of an honest guy who likes knocking me around. Boy, I'm so-o-o-o happy. Thank God."

Her sarcasm was thick and she spared herself no dignity as she pulled down her borrowed pajama bottoms in front of him and kicking them off. She didn't care if he saw the large bruise around her ankle, or the scrapes and scratches on her knees and calves. It didn't matter if he saw the four-leaf clover on her hip as she pulled off her baggy shirt and tossed it to the side.

If anything she wanted him to see her practically naked body while she forced on her denim jeans. It wasn't about modesty when Rin turned her back on him, her normally hidden tattoos exposing themselves as she struggled with the straps of her bra. She wanted to make sure he would be the last man to ever see her this exposed because after this the male population would never again be admitted into her bed.

Her button up shirt was missing half of its buttons and it was ruined from the dried bloodstains down the front. She felt his eyes burning into her back and she fixed herself with an angry glare facing him like she'd never had the courage to with her past experiences. "Don't think you're anything special. I'm sure you got exactly what you—and others have wanted."

"Excuse me?" She was fanning his anger again, she could see it in his eyes after they strayed from her exposed chest.

"I wasn't planning to," Rin told him curtly opening the front door. "Oh, and don't worry about my shoes, Kohaku took them so I didn't come with them."

She slammed the door behind her and silently fuming, Rin tried finding her way out of the enormous building. There was no way she was going to do this again, no way in hell. First she was going to find a way back home, and then she'd pack up all of her clothing and what not and finally call up her aunt and uncle. She was running away from everything this time, a clean slate was what she needed and she wasn't about to refuse it because Rin didn't know what else to do.

Waiting for an elevator was agonizing and seemed to take a lifetime and just as she was ready to walk away and find the stairwell, the big metal contraption dinged and the doors opened.

"Rin?" And instead of it being empty like she wanted it to be, InuYasha stood in it like an idiot, his helmet in one hand and a bag in the other. "What are you doing out here?"

"Leaving," she said smartly. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

She tried pushing passed him, but he wouldn't let her on the elevator. Instead he took her arm and pulled her back down the hallway. Rin tried several times to pull herself out of his grasp, but when she saw the angry look in his eyes she gave up.

She was done with it, it was obvious he wasn't going to let go and it only hurt to try and struggle. It came down to her making yet another stupid mistake and she could only hope that this one left her for dead because she didn't think she could keep on picking back up the broken pieces of her pathetic life.

"Tell me what's going on," InuYasha said ushering her back into his apartment and closing the door behind him, locking her inside and sealing her fate. "Please Rin."

"I need to get to a hospital," she refused to look at InuYasha, she didn't want to look at him and see his disgust.

"God dammit Rin why?" Frustrated fingers ran through his hair and he tugged on it to try relieving the nervousness building in his stomach seeing Rin look so defeated.

"Because," Rin was too emotionally strung for this, too overwhelmed and once again she lost it. "Because you're stupid short tempered friend there had a bitch fit and dislocated my fucking shoulder that's why!"

"I'm sorry but I can't stay here InuYasha," she was working herself up and it only got worse watching the silver haired mystery man re-enter the room. She would get her point across and leave end of story. "I was wrong to think for even a moment that you could guarantee me safety. Fuck, I don't even have to be in a relationship before strange guys start flinging me around like some rag doll. I made a mistake for calling you, I'd do a lot better on my own. At least by myself no one can hurt me."

Rin covered her face with her hands and tried in vain to calm herself down. InuYasha felt torn watching her break down, he couldn't stand emotional women; they drove him absolutely crazy but he didn't want Rin to be this way. Quietly he closed the space between the two of them and gently wrapped his arms around Rin's shoulders, coaxing her into a soft embrace. When she tried to pull away, he tightened his hold, resting his head on top of her lifeless hair and whispered apologies and gentle words into her ear.

This girl, she was something precious, like a wilting flower and he wasn't going to leave her alone to suffer, not when he could be there. Grant it, he could never see himself with her in a physical relationship, but she was becoming important to him. He just had to try and protect her from the evils of the world she'd been thrown into, even if he could only do so much.

"Come on Rin," InuYasha said softly collecting Rin in his arms. "Let's go lay down, you look exhausted."

"No I don't," she protested feebly, yet the minute InuYasha pulled her bridal style into his arms she went limp.

Her arms held onto his shoulders and her eyes drooped. She may not have been tired before, InuYasha doubted anyone would have, but it was all catching up with Rin and he was sure she would have fainted given the chance. He didn't hear another protest from her lips as he carried her back into his room and laid her gently on his bed.

She looked angelic and he crawled in bed next to her, the blankets covering her up to her chin. He could tell it would be a matter of minutes before she was out like a light and he felt like a jerk for not warning her about Sesshomaru before he left. It was a mistake on InuYasha's part, he knew it from the heated glare burning through his back from the older man and it wasn't a good feeling.

Rin slowly turned to face InuYasha, her deep chocolate eyes gazing up at him like an expecting child. She was like a sister he wasn't allowed to have and he smiled softly brushing stray hair from her face. This girl, Rin, she was proving to be a difficult personality to be reckoned with, but that's what attracted her to hi m. She was different, strange and maybe just a little unorthodox and quirky, but she was still nothing but a child at heart. Just a simple broken child and he wanted to be there for her.

"You have gray hair InuYasha," she informed him behind a tired yawn.

"Nah," he chuckled. "It's white. I was born with it that way so I dye it black."

Her frail skinny fingers brushed his bangs and her overly expressive eyes closed. "Black is so plain, you shouldn't dye it. I'd bet you'd look hella-mega hunky if you washed out the dye and let it go all-natural."

This time he laughed harder, but Rin's eyes didn't reopen and she hid another yawn behind her hand. She wouldn't be conscious much longer. "Huh. You think so?"

"I know so 'Yasha," she gave him a small smile and he leaned over her kissing her forehead silently waiting until he knew for certain that she was fast asleep before quietly slipping out of bed and out into the kitchen.

"What kind of mess did you get yourself into now little brother?" Sesshomaru said icily from his spot on the couch, the morning paper hiding his face from view.

InuYasha narrowed his eyes suspiciously at his brother, his lean arms crossing over his chest stubbornly. If Sesshomaru wanted to fight, then he'd give him a run for his money. "If Kagura would have known that you had an angry emotional side I bet she would have married you instead."

"If Kikyo knew you had a soft side made of jelly she would have killed herself sooner than later," Sesshomaru closed the paper abruptly and stood challenging his brother to a fight the both of them were beginning to itch for.

"I think you're pathetic," InuYasha spat jumping on the couch Sesshomaru had been seated and turned on the television. "I never though you'd be the type to attack a girl. Can't wait until I tell dad, he's going to beat you black and blue for sure!"

Instead of giving a snide comment back like he normally did, Sesshomaru stormed out of the room, his bedroom door slamming behind him and InuYasha couldn't hold back his chuckles. He'd finally got the last word with Sesshomaru and InuYasha knew it was the stinging type that didn't easily go away and boy was he going to be living it up.

Sesshomaru however, was quietly fuming in the small comforts of his bedroom. He couldn't believe how badly he lost his temper, how easily he'd seen red by some sad excuse of a girl. He wasn't known to be emotional, no- Sesshomaru was stoic, cunning, intelligent, and a master of masking hi s true emotions and not some unhinged rage-aholic.

He wasn't a violent tempered man, he wasn't even an angry man, but something about the girl in the next room over was able to invoke such emotions in from. She came off helpless, naïve, and too young, but she had a mouth dirtier than any sailor and the personality of a vicious viper. Just being next to her piqued his interest; he didn't like wondering exactly how someone who looked so innocent could open her mouth and sound so insulting and bitter at the same time.

Sure Kagura pulled it off well, the high-maintenance woman had more than enough time to perfect her technique, but never once could she make her point come across as casually as Rin had. For Rin it felt like she could do it perfectly without saying a word. It wasn't that he thought it wasn't normal because in this day and age he was positive it was a usual occurrence, yet it didn't feel right coming from the small girl.

Her type screamed more along the lines of fun-loving people person, an all around good girl, not the ugly vicious woman born from money who did nothing but chase fashion and approval of the 'in crowd' of society. Rin didn't look like the type of girl who was a better wreck, a girl so backwards that she couldn't tell love from blistering hate. Not that he was comparing his feelings for the said girl as either extreme.

In all honesty, he didn't have a clue to what he should think of her, or how he should have written her off as unimportant and a waste of his precious time. Originally he wanted to believe that Rin was another one of InuYasha's old one-night stands, it was one of the only explanations for her sudden appearance, but the way she'd first looked at him he knew such wasn't the case.

There was a fire inside of her that sprung to life and demanded his complete attention, not including the rather teasing and cruel angry strip show she'd performed in front of him. Sesshomaru had been surprised to see her undress right out in the open, not to mention the fact that the alabaster skin of her back had been tainted by the brilliant colors of two of tree well done tattoos. They made his fingers itch to touch them and the way she gazed back at him had him thinking of her as an angry temptress of unknown mysteries.

She bothered him so much that Sesshomaru couldn't sleep. His mind was wide open and awake and after hours of tossing and turning, he retrieved a decent book and a glass of water. There was no way he was getting any sleep, the bright rays of light pouring through the slightest parts of open blinds. InuYasha was passed out on the couch, limbs spread and ridiculous, and a tiny river of drool slipping from the side of his mouth.

Sesshomaru wasn't ready to get dressed for the day or even try to read so tossing the book onto the coffee table, he set down his drink and headed back to his room. He could always fall asleep if he tried hard enough, but he didn't want to put up the effort to do so. It was quiet with the entire place fast asleep and though normally it was a godsend, today it wasn't a welcoming feeling.

The muscles in his back tensed and he stretched his arms over his head and caught the darkness creeping in from the crack in the door next to his own. It was InuYasha's room, but Rin was the current inhabiter of it. He ignored the urge to completely open the door, the first time the thought surfaced; however, the more he thought about doing do the more it sounded like a good decision.

The room had been darker than he'd expected and almost immediately he stubbed his toe on a randomly placed item. It was safe to say that the room was definitely cluttered, articles of clothing lying about on various parts of the floor.

All the blinds were drawn closed barely allowing any light to shine through the cracks and Sesshomaru grumbled kicking a discarded shoe. He really hated knowing that the object of his attention was fast asleep in InuYasha's pig sty of a room, his stubborn half brother being born obviously without the essential part of his tiny pea sized brain. Heck, Sesshomaru was surprised InuYasha was able to formulate sentences and tie his shoes but he guessed it had to be pure luck.

The room was quiet besides the soft in and out of Rin's steady and even breathing, and the rhythmic beating of Sesshomaru's heart. He wasn't expecting rave music or anything noisy, but the dead silence was a little odd. It took his eyes several moments to adjust to the darkness and when they had, Sesshomaru effortlessly moved around the messes and lowered himself onto an oddly placed lazy boy chair. He'd cleaned it off of course, irritably dumping the items onto the floor; he would be making it a point to ask his idiotic brother how he managed to get a lazy boy chair in the room and why.

Sesshomaru reached behind himself and grabbed the drawstring to the blinds and slowly poured light into the room. Yeah, what he was doing was a little beyond creepy (he thought he was being absurd), however, he wasn't going to watch her sleep in the dark. Hell, he wasn't even watching her to begin with, but then again, a part of him wasn't denying that he was.

The room wasn't actually as messy as he originally perceived, okay, so it was unorganized, some clothing cluttering the floor, but it was inhabited. Everything looked clean (only the things that mattered most to Sesshomaru, but that was another pet peeve) so he wasn't going to harp his little brother too much for his choice of living.

When the blinds were completely rolled up, Sesshomaru allowed his gaze to wander onto the bed. Crisp white blankets were wrinkled, hiding the sleeping girl from view except for a delicately placed hand on a large pillow and the long black strands of night that tumbled over the comforter.

He had started counting the days mentally that she'd been unconscious for (after being able to maneuver the info out of InuYasha) and he rolled his eyes. She should have been dead that was for sure, yet there she was fast asleep in a world that probably didn't co-exist with everyday life. He wasn't certain how he would explain his actions once his sleeping companion woke, although there were always ways around the truth if needed be.

Rin groaned and rolled over, the thick comforter sliding off the bed and exposing her in a way that Sesshomaru wasn't ready for. The jeans she'd been wearing were nonexistent, probably thrown somewhere on the floor leaving long pale legs to stand out and demand his immediate attention. Even her bloody shirt was missing and he couldn't help but drink her in. Her shoulder hid part of her face, her long hair covering just about the rest and he had the urge to touch her and see if her skin was as soft as he thought it to be.

She groaned again, her arms pulling the pillows around her face, her less than lightly dressed torso stretching out like a napping cat. "What time is it?"

"Probably a quarter after ten," his voice was surprisingly cold for how warm he was beginning to feel.

"How long have you been sitting there?" She wasn't going to look at him and that was fine, he was enjoying the view either way. "I thought I locked the doors and windows properly this time or did you break another?"

Her words definitely weren't adding up and his eyes narrowed suspiciously. Did she think he was someone else or was he just not developing an imagination? "I don't think you remember where you are Rin."

Sesshomaru watched Rin's back muscles stiffen before she threw a careful look over her shoulder. It took her a moment to relax, but when she did a heavy sigh escaped her lips as she pulled herself up and tossed her legs over the side of the enormous bed.

"If you've come to toss me around again the door's that way," Rin said pointing to the closed door. "Cause I'm totally not up for another round with you."

Sesshomaru snorted and Rin watched him cautiously with her doe like brown eyes. He wanted to down right laugh in her face for sounding like as pathetic as she did, but he didn't. Instead he merely climbed to his feet, told her to put some clothes on before leaving her to her thoughts. He was a lot of things, but a heartless monster wasn't one of them and he had plans to show her just exactly who he was so she wouldn't assume he was like every other dead beat out on the street.

There was no other legitimate reasoning behind him trying to shower her the real him besides the sudden need to and he definitely was in now mood to start explaining his actions to others. Sesshomaru did what he wanted, it was as simple as that – end of story.

He wasted time waiting for Rin to surface by getting dressed and by pouring himself a bowl of cereal, leaving an empty bowl for her incase she magically developed an appetite. Then again, he rethought the idea and also made her a decent sized cereal pile.

He wasn't at all worried about her well being, not worried what so ever, but if he guessed right, she hadn't eaten in days and he didn't want to clean up the mess of fainting, scantly dressed girls, no matter how interesting it may have sounded. A spoonful was already in his mouth when Rin emerged and he forgot to breathe, choking on the small honey O's.

Her jeans, if it was possible, were ridiculously low and unopened showing off her underwear and it looked like she grabbed one of InuYasha's old work shirts because it clung to her, small rips and tears playing peek-a-boo with pale flesh. It was entrancing and the way her matted hair fell around her shoulders and framed her face was enough for him to forget that she wasn't the kind of girl he wasted air appreciating.

"Awww are you trying to butter me up?" Rin cooed plopping down on a bar stool and puling the full bowl closer to where she was. "How cute. It's like a Kodak moment."

"Do you take medication you shouldn't be off of?" He said carefully gathering another spoonful of cereal. "Because I think you've become delusional."

Her laughter was loud and musical and the previous days' events seemed to have completely been forgotten about. They ate in comfortable silence, the casual glances between the two of them giving little comfort. It was weird, the casual glances that weren't so casual, but it wasn't overbearing or too ridiculously obvious so neither minded too much.

When the bowls were empty and conversation was needed Sesshomaru rolled his eyes as Rin sighed heavily resting her chin in the palm of her hands.

"What is it?" He asked clearing off the countertop.

"I need to go back to my apartment," she replied glancing up at him. "I've practically worn the same clothes for a freaking week! It's disgusting!"

"I don't think you should really go," InuYasha's voice interrupted as he exited the bathroom.

"The way I see it you have three choices," Rin whirled on InuYasha and Sesshomaru smirked smugly. "You can take me to my apartment and let me get what I need. You can refuse and I'll turn into an exhibitionist. I'll not wear a stitch of clothing until you give in, or, you can take me to the mall and buy me everything I could possibly need. Clothing, unmentionables, woman product—"

"Go put on shoes and I'll take you to your apartment," he didn't want to hear anymore and InuYasha had gone pale after the word 'exhibitionist'.

She really knew how to push a guy's buttons and she quickly tossed on a pair of InuYasha's shoes before following Sesshomaru out the door. It was easier to give into her demands at the moment and he waited until she had the only helmet strapped to her head to get on the bike. He had no intention of taking his own vehicle, not when InuYasha's was easily accessible.

Rin's arms wrapped hesitantly around his waist, holding onto him tightly and he almost jumped. He wasn't expecting the touch, but it didn't bother him, in fact it had the opposite affect. The motorcycle was light and he weaved in and out of traffic easily, listening to Rin carefully give him directions when she remembered how to get herself home. It was sad that she was navigationally challenged, she didn't even know left from right when it came down to it and he really wanted to smack the common sense back into her thick head.

They arrived to her dingy apartment almost two hours later and Sesshomaru couldn't believe the dive Rin resided in. Her excuse was because it was cheap, but he only shook his head since he had a general idea as to the real reason. She didn't have her key and surprisingly it hadn't been a problem for her as she broke into her own apartment like a professional burglar. The air was stale inside the small one bedroom apartment, but it was cleaner than he was expecting.

She advised him to stay away from the kitchen and he complied watching her disappear into the bedroom, her voice rambling in the direction of a quick cold shower. He was left to his own devices as the shower sounded in the bathroom and Sesshomaru did what he thought was normal, he snooped around. It wasn't even snooping, but it did give him a better view on the type of person she had been. She was bright, confident, more or less in your face, and even witty in a dry way but it was interesting because everything in her apartment screamed ordinary.

"Hey," she popped out of the bathroom, a size or two too big pair of shoes in one hand. "Does this look okay?"

She'd cut her own hair, small layers framing her face and it looked good. Her shorts were short black and tight making her legs look like they went on for miles and a simple form fitting dark denim blue colored t-shirt that read 'I have knotty thoughts', a picture of a knotted rope on her left breast. If she was only looking for 'okay' then she'd definitely over dressed herself, but instead of saying everything that came to mind he nodded.

"Cool," Rin said slipping on her shoes. "Uh, hey there's a phone next to your left, press the play button. I think there might be a few messages, and I'm almost ready to go."

Yet again he found himself complying with her request and he silently listened to message after message as they played. Most of them were from worried friends begging Rin to call or pick up, some from worried family members and one or two that consisted of silence or heavy breathing. Those were the ones he found most disturbing; however, the last one took the cake.

"Rin it's Sango, I know you're there. Pick up," Rin made a snide comment as she tossed a backpack out of the bedroom door. "I know you and Kohaku had a bad break up, and I know he didn't help the situation but it doesn't justify you attacking him and breaking his nose."

"I didn't attack him!" Rin screamed charging the phone with another bag in tow. "He violated the restraining order!!"

"Well—uh, please gimme a call we're all worried," Sango's voice cut off and angrily Rin erased the message meanwhile cursing her friend under her breath.

"You broke his nose?" Sesshomaru asked curiously watching Rin unplug the phone and throw it.

"It's not like it was on my to-do list Jesus fuck," she grumbled grabbing her backpack and slinging it casually over her shoulder. "I mean he locked me in a basement for fuck's sake! Drugged me and went on a crazy rant about how we were meant to be. Hell he even stole my stuff!"

Rin turned to face Sesshomaru and his amber eyes saw a flash of metal. Barbells, they stuck out like sore thumbs going down both her ears as she pulled her hair into a ponytail, one in her eyebrow and a post through her labret. She looked almost like an entirely different person and when she went to move his hand closed around her upper arm and she dropped the bag she was holding.

"Where did those come from?" He asked ignoring the weird look she gave him.

"Got it all done after I turned sixteen," Rin smiled watching the unguarded expression on his face. "I even have my tongue pierced, see—"

She stuck out the said muscle and sure enough he spotted the large ball that read 'fuck you' in red and black. Sesshomaru was at a loss of what words to say, but he felt a burning heat grow in his stomach staring at her. Never once had he found the tattoos and piercing remotely attractive, yet on Rin it was all he was able to think about. She looked exotic with it and he couldn't help but take advantage of the moment that swept him away.

Hungry lips crashed down on Rin's and she gasped loudly being sucked into Sesshomaru's heated kiss. She wasn't expecting this kind of reaction, nor the jolt of electricity that numbed her fingertips as his tongue seduced her. It was unlike anything she'd felt before and Rin found herself melting into his lips, her fingers clutching his shirt as his hands crushed her body against his.

He was everywhere and nowhere at the same time, his hands trailing over the back of her thighs and disappearing under her shirt. Rin thought she'd die when Sesshomaru's lips left her own and traveled south; he was making her breathless with desire and she almost couldn't think straight.

"Wait—I can't," those deliciously skilled fingers were turning into something dangerous and Rin wasn't ready for it.

Sesshomaru slowed down hearing her voice and she watched the way his beautiful molten eyes went from hazy gold to icy amber and his touch suddenly ripped away from her like she was something unpleasant. It was better that way, Rin told herself, better because it wasn't safe for her to jump into another relationship. Not with him at least.

"Come, let's go." Sesshomaru turned his back to Rin picking up one of her discarded bags, "we've been gone too long."

Rin nodded her head grabbing a few more things on her way out. She doubted she'd be coming back to the dive of an apartment, but it was still a little sad to have to leave it behind. She was always leaving, never staying for more than a few months, it was like she never had a proper home to stay and call her own.

However, all that seemed to change the day she met InuYasha. He was practically a complete stranger yet he opened his home to her, fed her, and provided for her every need. Rin had become a part of his family and even Sesshomaru surprised her with his cleverly hidden generosity. By the end of the first month her two male companions considered her a permanent figure and all of her limited belongings were placed into Sesshomaru's room.

At first she declined protesting that it wasn't right, but when InuYasha informed her that Sesshomaru had his own place in the city it didn't take long to convince her to occupy the enormous room. It may have been Rin's room, but it was inhabited with Sesshomaru's belongings, his bed, his wardrobe- his stuff and she refused to touch it.

So instead of sleeping on the impossibly comfortable bed she slept on the floor until she found a job. She wasn't going to freeload off of InuYasha, it wasn't fair and besides, she wasn't liking being cooped up all day. She needed something to bide her time.

Job searching had always been a hard thing after Kohaku, and Rin knew that; although, she was surprised at how quickly she had found one that hired her no questions asked.

Maybe it was because how much her looks fit in, or maybe it was how 'cute' she looked to the male hiring manager, but she wasn't going to start asking questions. She had a job! Mall jobs weren't hard up, not a piece of cake, yet not disturbingly hard either and Rin was delighted by the dress code because it was flexible. And she did flexible very well…

Everything was looking up for Rin and by the second end of the month she was able to buy a small indoor hammock and a cell phone (more for InuYasha's piece of mind than hers). She was falling into a routine lifestyle, one that she loved and though it sometimes felt like the calm before the storm she knew it had become her home.

"Will you love me tomorrow? So will you stay with me today?" Her phone rarely went off, but when it did she knew who it was and she smiled.

"What's up dog-boy?" Rin laughed shuffling a few bags into her other hand.

"I swear Rin, I'm never playing card games with you," it was InuYasha and she laughed louder. "I still say you cheated."

"It happens," she replied glancing to her left. It was her only day off yet there she was at the mall blowing her money on clothes. "So what's up?"

"I'm going to be late tonight so I can't pick you up," he sounded guilty and Rin rolled her eyes.

"So I'll just bus it geez," she said bluntly. "No worries, public transportation won't eat me alive. I'll be fine."

"I know, but I'm bringing some friends over. Is that okay?"

"Yes captain," Rin didn't know why he didn't bring his friends over sooner, but it was okay. She actually wanted to see the kind of people he hung out with on a regular basis. "I'll see you later so-right?"

A bag caught her eye and Rin was zoning out of her conversation with InuYasha, mixing words together that made no sense as she walked into the store. It was black denim and like the one she used to carry around in high school and just like any compulsive buyer, she had to have it. "Bye InuYasha, I'll be home by seven."

Rin walked around the mall for a while longer before heading to the bus station. It was a decent but crowded as always and she sighed folding her plastic bags of clothing into the denim shoulder bag. She'd have less to carry and it gave her a chance to use the new accessory of hers.

The bus came and Rin fished the change from her pocket and sat in the back. She'd taken the bus countless times to work and back home so the route wasn't confusing to her like it was for InuYasha, besides it was usually quiet so it was even better.

Countless stops came and Rin bobbed her head to the silent music playing. It made her wish she had an mp3 player or even a Walkman to her disposal, though that would have to wait for another pay date to come along. People came and went and three stops before her own she saw a decent sized crowd waiting.

They wouldn't take up the entire bus she knew that much for sure, the nameless faceless people usually wanted their own space. Rin did move closer to the back door exit though, it would be easier than bumping legs and pushing past them. A flash of black caught her eyes and Rin frowned scanning the crowd, something was familiar.

"Rin!" Her blood froze watching Kohaku's hand waving her down and if her eyes could have bugged out of her head then they would have.

She didn't waste air cursing before darting towards the exit, pushing it roughly open and fleeing the bus. How was he able to always find her? Did he have some kind of 'Rin radar' in his brain or was she just extremely unlucky? There was no time to stand around asking questions, she had to find a place to hide and fast.

Rin could hear him calling out for her to stop, but she refused to as she ducked around a corner and practically slipped down a few stairs. She was beginning to feel like Harrison Ford in the movie "The Fugitive", she was being hunted like a prison escapee. It probably was a bad comparison she knew, but it seemed the most logical to her.

Quickly as she could Rin weaved through other pedestrians and into a local restaurant only to run straight to the restrooms, hiding in a stall knowing Kohaku wouldn't cause more of a scene than he already had by entering the women's bathroom.

She panted heavily trying to catch her breath while digging around in her pockets for her cell phone. That would be her only salvation and this time she'd let it charge so it shouldn't die on her just yet. The only problem was who could she call? InuYasha was out with friends so she couldn't bother him, Sesshomaru—well he hadn't said four words to her since the day he took her to the old apartment and he barely looked at her the few times actually came over so he was also a no.

It didn't take her long to thumb through her contact list, it wasn't like she had hordes of friends, but the last one Rin knew she could call; she was told to too many times to count. He was the main manager at the store she worked at, her hiring manager and though it wasn't a call to ask to hang out with him or do something, it was a call nonetheless.

"Hello?" It took a ring or two for him to answer and her heart leapt hearing his voice.

"Hey it's me," she tried sounding normal and hoped it worked. "I gotta ask you a favor."

"Rin?"

She didn't go over the dirty details, he didn't need to know and she was ecstatic when he agreed to come retrieve her. Lying wasn't something she promoted, telling him she got lost after getting off on the wrong stop, but then again, not all of it was a lie. What he didn't know couldn't hurt him and Rin was completely okay with that.

While waiting Rin dug back into her bag and pulled out a change of clothing, carefully detaching the tags. She needed at least a few minutes and since Kohaku knew what she was wearing she couldn't simply walk out unnoticed. The outfit she had was over the top, but it wasn't something she would have normally worn so it was perfect. They were clubbing clothes, well they would if she went to clubs and after today she seriously doubted she'd be able to go out like that for a while.

The fishnet stalking she almost didn't buy were the easiest to slip on, the black pleated short skirt having an impossibly ridiculous zipper in back and the tight corset top with pink trimmings and ribbons wasn't something she'd ever be able to put on by herself but somehow she managed it, just barely.

Rin tossed her clothes into her bag and left the stall to clean herself up, washing her face and elbows from the now hilarious spill taken earlier. Her hair was tossed into two loose pigtails and she smiled at her masterpiece before lacing up the boots she'd been wearing, mentally thanking herself for putting on the knee-high contraptions. Steel-toes were always best when exotic and yet effective for day-to-day use.

Checking her cell phone for the time she mentally groaned. It was going on seven-ten and if she didn't show up soon InuYasha would definitely begin calling her. Her only hope was that her ride would come soon so she could book it home before the Calvary came. InuYasha wasn't the worrywart kind of person, but given her previous situation he was like her very own mother hen.

"Okay you can do this Rin," she told herself taking a deep breath.

It was now or never and Rin couldn't wait in the bathroom forever. Cautiously she left not looking around her for Kohaku, she didn't want to be suspicious, it was the last thing she needed. She was mentally praising herself as she waited outside, her eyes darting around her. The sun would be going down soon and she didn't want to be waiting around when it got dark.

The sounds of cars whizzing by was loud as well as the sound of approaching motorcycles. It had Rin wondering if boys were all going through the same phase, playing guitars, riding motorcycles, and the fake sensitive bad boy look because it seemed like eighty percent of the male population was attempting it.

The obvious male on the motorcycle took off his helmet and Rin rolled her eyes seeing onyx hair and electric blue eyes. Of course he'd be one of the many and she headed towards him praying that he'd keep his wolfish mouth quiet until she was closer. She could feel Kohaku's eyes and she needed to get on the back of the bike before he put two and two together and made four.

"Hey Rin!" He yelled and Rin cursed under her breath. She darted to the bike and jumped on spotting Kohaku and she grabbed her companion's waist tightly.

"GO Koga! GO! Hurry!" Koga shoved his helmet back on and the engine roared to life, the wheels screeching as they sped out into traffic leaving Kohaku standing at the curb behind them.

Rin didn't care where they were going as long as it was far away from Kohaku. She kept her eyes closed as Koga drove, letting the sound of the engine drown out all other sounds of life. With every passing street sign she was closer to safety and that's all that kept her composed. She was safe. However, all too soon the sound grew softer and the wind wasn't blowing her hair and she sighed, the ride was over.

"So you wanna tell me what's going on?" Koga asked turning off the bike and glancing back at her.

"I stepped into the middle of some crazy one-person gang war and was challenged to a knife fight." She replied hopping off the back and pulling down her skirt. "It was wicked crazy."

"I'm serious," he told her irritably, his glare making her uncomfortable as she rearranged her bag.

"Look Koga, I'm not trying to be mean but this is something that I can't explain right now," Rin was being serious as she gave him a quick hug. "I appreciate you coming to get me, I really do and I hope you understand."

Koga was silent for a moment before he sighed heavily and saluted her. She was grateful that he wasn't digging deeper because she didn't need anyone else knowing her personal business. It wasn't that she didn't like Koga, since she did, but she wasn't certain with how much she could trust him with.

She waited until he was gone to head to the front of her new home, the gated building making her feel more secure than any other place could. Pulling her phone from her pocket, Rin groaned for the umpteenth time, twelve missed calls, most from InuYasha and one or two from Sesshomaru. She was going to be in deep trouble.

"A one-person gang war? A knife fight? Where does this imagination of yours come from?" An icy baritone voice came from nowhere and Rin jumped whirling around to see her silver haired companions.

"A little from PBS, some MTV, and the rest is good ole' loveable me, scary much?" Her heart was pounding rapidly in her stomach as he curiously raised his eyebrows at her.

It was extremely hard not to stare at Sesshomaru while he was casually standing next to her looking all kinds of scrumptious in his slacks and collared dress shirt; and his hair brushed perfectly down his back. His appearance made her want to suddenly melt but she managed to keep the dark blush from her cheeks by the serious gaze in his eyes. It was almost dangerous.

"Okay, okay," she said waving him off and entering the building. "I got spotted on the bus and I hid in a girls restroom until Koga came to the rescue."

"Why didn't you call InuYasha or myself? My idiot brother's been worried." Sesshomaru practically hissed.

"I suffer from amnesia—or what's it called," she bit down on the side of her lip. "Maybe it was a temporary lapse of judgment… I can't quite remember."

His eyes flashed, zoning in on her and Rin felt her chest constrict almost painfully. He looked relieved to see her, yet there was something in the way he gazed at her that sent a chill of excitement up and down her spine. This feeling was familiar though, and she tore her eyes away from Sesshomaru's person. She wasn't going to let it happen again—not this time.

"Why do you always have to make light of everything?" He asked her seriously, his hand wrapping around her arm tightly. "Why does it have to be a joke? Its not amusing Rin."

"Honestly?" She didn't want to admit it because life seemed easier to bear when she hid behind her smile and witty words. "Because if I didn't behave like this I'd probably never stop crying. I'm not strong enough to keep doing this."

Time stood still for a moment and Rin hid behind a bright smile. She didn't like giving away so much of herself like she had, especially since there was absolutely nothing between them. He wasn't her type and she was leaving it at that, end of story.

"Rin…" Her name sounded wonderful coming from his lips and she wished that he would say it again in a completely different and not so innocent way.

"It's okay Sesshomaru, really, it just happens. No worries," she was leading herself down a destructive path, she knew it and Rin was pretty certain that Sesshomaru knew it as well, if not more so.

"No, it's not," he said it in clipped tones as his hand released its death grip on her arm.

Rin had been prepared to shrug his hand off her and make it to the door that was close enough to touch and avoid Sesshomaru's presence. She'd even been prepared for any sarcastic and cold remark he could think to make her feel bad, since he was definitely good enough at it. However, Rin wasn't prepared for that hand as it slid up her shoulder, the finely manicured nails scrapping lightly on her neck.

Nor the wonderfully wicked sensation that coursed through her entire being before setting in her abdomen when those long fingers of his slid to the back of her neck and entwined themselves in her hair and forcing her head up less than subtly.

She felt the wall meet her back, the pressure of another body impossibly close to hers, but none of it compared to the way Sesshomaru's lips crashed over hers. It was breath taking and she couldn't fight against him even if she was thinking logically. His kiss was like everything she dreamed a kiss could be; passionate, all consuming, and the roughness was an added bonus that made her suddenly aware of what it did to her body. Rin was hot and cold, in shock but responding like a woman dying of thirst.

His other hand supported her, but forced her to allow the pressure of his hips to grind seductively against her, her already short skirt slipping up higher as his leg slipped in between her legs and caressed her. All of it was happening so fast, Sesshomaru's hungry lips, his overpowering presence and his hard and lean body and the only thing she could think to do was hang on for the ride and enjoy it.

Rin gasped into his mouth as Sesshomaru dominated her, arched her too hot body when he touched her and made the entire world spin. It had been so long since she last felt something so intense and her heart was pounding in her ears that she almost didn't hear a door nearby open and not so hushed laughter escape. She personally didn't care who it was, not when she was this far gone, too wrapped up in the gorgeous man consensually molesting her in an open hallway.

"Sesshomaru?" InuYasha's surprised voice was like a kick in the stomach and Rin jerked out of the most erotic embrace she'd been thrown into.

An embarrassed blush spread from her cheeks to her toes in seconds flat and she could have sworn she heard Sesshomaru hide a growl in his irritated sigh before he turned to face his brother, exposing Rin to the four-member group watching them in shock and she though she'd die where she stood. Her name fell from InuYasha's lips just as quickly as his brother's had and the three other's looked just as dumbstruck as Rin was.

Fate was never a tolerable mistress for Rin, she was plain cruel and such a bitch and in the blink of an eye two ebony haired bodies had pulled her out of Sesshomaru's arms and out into the open. She was so surprised to see Miroku and Kagome begin a ridiculous probing session, skilled fingers searching for any injuries, relieved and big eyes staring at her like she'd grown another head when none were found.

"Where've you been?" Indigo eyes watched her before pulling her into a tight embrace. "We were all so worried about you Rin!"

Miroku always had a simple way with words and she hugged him back trying to force back the building tears. Out of all her friends over the years he'd been one of the few she really trusted, he was like the estranged brother who didn't know when to quit and had a mean lechery streak. It felt good to be held by him and she laughed as he was pulled away and she was practically mauled into another hug, this time by a softly crying Kagome.

Kagome, she was like the mother Rin left behind during her adolescently naïve days. She had the same smile and kind eyes and Rin smile gently rubbing her friend's back. Seeing them face-to-face made her realize how much stress they must have gone through and she felt stupid for not getting a hold of them and telling them she was all right sooner.

She should have called, it would have been the responsible and right thing to do, but Rin didn't. Not after everything she'd gone through. She wanted a fresh star, to be able to begin again with a clean slate and yet from the looks of it someone really hated her and it wasn't the woman a few feet away giving Rin a nasty glare either.

"Hey," Rin said uneasily biting on her lower lips.

Sango was like a cobra, beautiful and entrancing, but oh so dangerous for your health to mess with. She was the most stubborn of her friends, not that Rin really held it against the girl, Sango was just very overprotective of her brother. At one point Rin and Sango had been closer than close –almost family, but that obviously wasn't the case anymore.

They say a boy can have the power to change a relationship between two girls and Rin didn't believe it until things went horribly wrong with her and Kohaku. The male population could build a castle in one day and have it destroyed with their greed by the following night. Rin guessed it was all a part of the bigger schemes in life, but not once did she admit to agreeing with it.

Sango's eyes narrowed angrily and she sprang—just like the cobra she was. It took Sango two steps to reach Rin and instead of enveloping Rin in a hug like the other's had, she tore Kagome away and punched Rin square in the jaw. There was no pulling of punches with Sango, when she hit someone she made sure it did little more than hurt.

Rin's neck jerked and she toppled over like an unstable Jenga mountain, a soft cry slipping from her lips. "You Tramp!"

Sesshomaru barely managed to grab Rin before she smashed into the ground, Sango's eyes glowing with more than hate for her friend. However, no matter how used to being pushed around Rin was, not once had she even been hit for being innocent. It made her blood boil and she growled as Sesshomaru helped her back on her feet.

"Well at least now I know who taught Kohaku how to hit a girl," Rin frowned rubbing her jaw.

That only proved to anger Sango more, yet Rin refused to back down from her once long-time friend. She didn't understand why Sango kept trying to make her brother out to be an innocent bystander because he wasn't one by a long shot. Everyone was too shocked to do anything other than stare in shock, and Rin desperately wanted to say something sarcastic but luckily for her she was able to refrain from doing so.

"My brother is too good for you!" Sango shouted pointing her finger accusingly at Rin. "He never hurt a fly before he met you! You skeeze! You tramp! How dare you do this to Kohaku! You deserved everything that's happened and all that's coming to you!"

"Hey!" InuYasha and Miroku said in unison, Sango had gone too far this time.

"Fuck you Sango!" Rin had had enough and she shoved Sango hard enough to knock her off balance and almost into a near by wall. "Fuck you! I didn't ask for your brother to stalk me, or to put me in a hospital multiple times! No one deserves it Sango—nobody! I can't believe I ever thought of you as my friend. Your whole family's fucked up if you think that your precious brother is as gentle as you think he is! Wake up and smell the fucking coffee!"

Angrily Rin shrugged off the hands on her shoulders and stormed into the apartment then to her room, slamming both doors behind her. Everything was just too much for her to handle in one day, she wasn't strong enough and Rin crawled onto her hammock and hid underneath her covers doing the only thing she could do better than anything. She cried.

Why couldn't things go a little better than they intended to? Was it too much to ask for that all of her friends stuck up for her and didn't have ulterior opinions than what they expressed? Loyalty must have been one of those imaginary words people used along with 'trust' or 'love'. It was too heartbreaking and Rin exhausted herself trying to remember when things reached the point of no return and did a nose-dive for the worst.

The gentle click of her door being opened roused her from her thoughts and Rin sniffled wiping away the remnants of her tears. She definitely was in no mood for company and she planned on ignoring the intruder, but when her blanket was removed from her face and she saw Sesshomaru standing by her with an ice pack she couldn't find it in her heart to attempt to turn him away.

"Put it on your face," he told her tossing the icepack on her lap. He looked like his normal self, but then again something in his eyes was entirely different than what she was used to seeing.

"This is just a reminder why you don't date your friend's siblings," she said sitting sideways on the hammock and motioning for Sesshomaru to come sit with her. "Because in the end they both wind up crazier than any senile homeless man on the street trying to sell crack to the pigeons."

Sesshomaru's chuckles were light and quiet and it made her smile since it was something that he was sharing with her. Rin moved over as Sesshomaru accepted her invitation, settling his weight onto the sturdy hammock.

They fit perfectly, Rin's uninjured side of her face resting on his arm, his hand lazily resting on her hip as she leaned her weight on him and the gentle swaying of the hammock lulling Rin into a light sleep. It felt good, Sesshomaru holding her, much nicer yet more intense than when Miroku had done earlier. Sesshomaru made her feel at ease, like she really was at home and she finally decided to give up on not allowing him and her to become a "them". It just sounded right after everything, it felt right to her.

"She was wrong you know," Sesshomaru broke the silence, his lips whispering in her hair. "You don't deserve anything that's happened to you—no one does."

"I know," she wrapped her arm around Sesshomaru's waist. "It just hurts that she said it."

They lapsed into another comfortable silence and Rin enjoyed it because there were no expectations and despite the day she was having, it was beginning to look better. The two of them merely existed together, listening to the creaking of the hammock as it slowly swayed back and forth. She wanted to stay that way with Sesshomaru for as long as possible just so she could continue being stuck in a place that was, in her eyes perfect.

To Rin Sesshomaru was the beginning point to a new chapter in the story that she decided was her life and it was one chapter she wasn't too sure if she ever wanted to stop reading. The few times she got to be near him were increasingly pleasant and there was something about him that absolutely blew her mind.

She didn't have to be strong, didn't have to smile or even pretend that everything was okay. It was like he could see through her and when he looked at her with those beautiful eyes, Rin had a feeling—a feeling that he was there for her.

Maybe it was a little insane to be thinking such nonsense, Sesshomaru wasn't the rescuer of the classic damsels in distress, he was the kind that did things only for himself—the decided loner, but it didn't matter to Rin. No, she was happy that he was there with her just for her and it made her heart swell.

And almost exactly how all of her good feelings and emotions washed over her, they instantly disappeared and were replaced with something else entirely different. Her stomach knotted when it hit her and she quickly Rin slipped away from Sesshomaru and the hammock, a devastated look on her face. "I can't stay here."

Sesshomaru gave her a look and she shook her head before opening her closet door and dragging out an antique trunk practically as big as she was. She needed to find a place far away that was for sure this time since her hiding spot would be exposed if it hadn't been already.

"What are you doing?" She was pulling off her steel toe boots and tossing them into the trunk and though she wished he wouldn't ask she knew he would.

"I can't stay here," she repeated looking around for one of her duffel bags and not finding them. "Before long Kohaku's going to know where I'm at and he won't sit around and do nothing. I'm not going to be a sitting duck."

Rin heard Sesshomaru get up and she hoped it was to leave her, but it wasn't. His fingers curled around her wrist, pulling her up from kneeling and she glared at him. He wasn't helping her any by keeping her away from getting all her belongings together.

"You're going to runaway," it wasn't a question and all she could do was try staring him down, which wasn't even working in the first place.

"Well what else am I supposed to do Sesshomaru?" She was becoming hysterical but she didn't try pulling out of his grasp because she needed his stability more than she could ever know. "What else am I supposed to do huh? It's not like I could magically move in with you and be hidden from everyone. I can't—"

"Yes," Sesshomaru swung Rin into his chest cutting off her rant.

"Huh?" His arms were wound behind her back and she watched him with a confused look on her face. What was he trying to do to her? She couldn't accept it, she couldn't because he would never offer something like this to her in his right mind. "Are you on crack Sesshomaru?"

His soft chuckle filled her ears and she couldn't help but shiver the way his warm breath ghosted across her bare neck. He was being serious, she could see it in the way his amber eyes were devouring her and it scared her more than the though of being alone with Kohaku.

"I must be," Sesshomaru's lips stole a quiet gasp from her mouth as he leaned down to kiss her and any protest she would have made was instantly forgotten.

He felt like silk against her, his nimble fingers tracing her skin, or gently pulling on the ribbons and ties to her corset. He was gentle but she could feel the hungry need of his kisses all the way down to her toes. It only made sense to let everything fall into the hazy background and enjoy what Sesshomaru was silently offering her.

If she had stopped for a moment to think Rin would have laughed at herself for how cliché it was, but no matter how cliché it could be for once she wanted it more than anything. Rin desired the strength to go on and longed for something that she felt was always ten paces or more ahead of her. But being in Sesshomaru's arms, feeling him the way she was made it as though she could steal a star if she extended her arms far enough.

Clothing was slowly pulled off and forgotten in favor of hot bare skin and Rin gasped wantonly underneath Sesshomaru's skilled touch. He too her to a place she hadn't been in almost a lifetime it seemed and she cried out his name when he pushed her off the edge and into a steaming pool of ecstasy. His legs entwined with hers as he drove his need deeper into her, his arms cradling her as though she was fine porcelain, his hot breath whispering incoherent words into her ears and if Rin could have died she was certain she would have.

Even after when Rin and Sesshomaru lay on the bed completely spent, she felt safe the way he held her close, his lips pressed in the crook of her neck. It was all too perfect to be a reality but Rin was in no hurry to rejoin the land of the living as she covered the hand around her waist with her own.

"What time is it?" His voice rumbled sending gooseflesh crawling over her skin and she smiled rolling over to face him, his long hair curtaining over her like a soft blanket.

"Early," she whispered softly trying not to blush as his large hand ran up her backside with a teasing touch.

The two of them lay there silently watching each other until it was time for Sesshomaru to leave. He dressed slowly, allowing Rin to see the naked and lean body in various stages of dress and she laughed when he flashed her a girl, his hair tangled and messy completely opposite of the man who she had come to know.

Rin walked Sesshomaru to the front door wearing only a pair of girl plain boxer-briefs and a loose lavender dress shirt that smelled strongly of the silent man next to her. It hung off her body ending almost at her knees and it made her feel like she was once again a small child playing dress up. However, instead of seeing her father's smiling face she was seeing Sesshomaru, not as an ice-cold person or a temperamental fool, but as a man.

It was weird, too weird for words and yet Rin found herself merely going with the flow like a goalless drifter. She hadn't meant to leave the warm comforts of the apartment but with only a look and the coaxing of his hand laced with hers, Sesshomaru led Rin to the front lobby entrance. She was hardly dressed appropriately and despite what she feared no one paid any mind to her as they continued on.

Sesshomaru wasn't the kind of guy to get overemotional with the touchy-feely lovey-dovey goodbyes and though he was decidedly withdrawn and reclusive he also didn't turn his back on her without something for her to look forward to. He merely leaned down and placed the most simple of kisses on her forehead giving her a look that he would only show her before demanding she go back to the apartment and gather her things for when he returned later in the afternoon.

All the way back to the apartment the only thing she could think of was him. He was giving her a chance to really expose the world to the real her and it was exciting and new. The tall scrumptious piece of wonderful man was pulling away the layers she hid herself behind and giving her a whole new world to explore and she was loving every minute of it.

It made her want to giggle like a child again, to squeal with delight and dance to an imaginary tune in her head. She wanted to scream on a mountaintop just so she could hear herself and if the smile on her face grew any bigger in size, her face would cave in on her.

Her newfound happiness swelled in her head as she entered the dark apartment, her hand flipping the light switch and instantly pouring bright artificial light into the decent sized room. She had a lot of things to do now that Sesshomaru decided to take her in like the abandoned puppy she often felt like. It was a funny thought and she laughed pouring herself a glass of water and taking a large sip.

Was what she was feeling possibly true love? Were the feelings running through her veins similar to what her mom used to describe to her? And if so, how did it happen? How was it possible to fall in love so quickly and could it honestly last as long as the fairy tales often claimed? Well if it was then Rin was more than eager to experience it, she was beginning to desperately hope that Sesshomaru was her real Mr. Right—her other half.

"Well don't you adapt nicely," it was the last thing Rin was expecting and she gasped dropping the glass in her hand.

Kohaku sat on the couch facing her blending in like he belonged there and Rin could feel the bile rising in the back of her throat. He'd found her a lot sooner than she'd anticipated and now there was no place for her to run. He was closer to the front door than she was and he was definitely faster, she wouldn't make it to either bedroom before him. Rin was trapped.

"How?" Her tongue felt heavy and the tile on the floor was slick with water, glass shards, and more than likely her blood; she could feel the stinging sensation on her calves and feet.

"Let's not worry about the little details Rin," his soft smile was out of place on the boy she knew and though her mind screamed for her to flee she was glued to her spot from fear. "All that matters is that we're together now."

No, this wasn't happening again! It couldn't, she was so careful this time—so fucking careful and yet there Kohaku was, watching her with his hawk vision and she wanted to cry. However, instead of crying, Rin grabbed the nearest object and flung it at him, her loud shrill scream causing her ears to ring as she dove frantically for the front door.

When Rin bolted so had Kohaku and the door flung open, his growl echoing through her ears before the pain registered in her brain. It was a sudden scorching feeling of fire burning up her veins and she couldn't think as she lost control of her body as it began to seizure. The feeling was unlike anything she'd felt and the ground slammed into her face as her limbs twitched randomly. What was going on?

She was conscious and powerless at the same time but after a few moments when the burning left she was able to numbly roll on her back, a soft groan of pain escaping her lips as the black dots danced across her vision. What had he done to her?

Well whatever Kohaku had done to her served its purpose and she felt the cool tears leaking from the corners of her eyes seeing the slightly fuzzy blur of Kohaku coming closer, the soft sound of something heavy being dragged ringing in her ears like a church bell at mass.

"You make this too easy," he told her and she felt herself being lifted and placed into an uncomfortable position before the darkness shut out the fading light. Where was Sesshomaru when she needed him? Why wasn't he here helping her? Why?

It was sometime close to noon and he was finishing up with all of his errands for the day. He wanted straight answers for once—nothing cryptic and he was set on getting them, even if in the subtle guise of friendliness. Well it wasn't like he wasn't friendly, if anything he considered himself a friend magnet, but for some reason someone in particular wasn't responding in the way he had hoped.

She wasn't working and since he knew where she lived, courtesy of employee files, he would make it a "learn about Rin" day. Okay, there was still the slight chance that she had plans, or wasn't home, but the important part was that he was attempting. Attempting hard and from what he already knew about Rin it was apparent that she had a hard time saying no.

Now he wasn't faulting her for it, on the contrary, it was ridiculously cute and he wanted to test out his theory on her. He placed his helmet on the seat of his motorcycle and pulled out his cell phone, calling Rin only to get her voicemail. It was quite common but after the third call he furrowed his eyebrows trying to remember the apartment number that she lived in.

"You can do this Koga," he told himself crossing the lobby to the elevator, pushing the button and waiting for the contraption to ding and open its doors.

He didn't like the feeling in his gut and he was almost tempted to take the stairs when the elevator doors opened. "Whoa!"

His hand reached out to help steady the man in front of him and keep him from stumbling. He seemed too weak to be carrying a heavy antique trunk the way he was, but Koga wasn't going to be the one to point out the obvious.

He wondered silently what was running through the younger man's mind—did no one ever explain the benefits of using a dolly? Koga, however, didn't dwell on other's ignorance for long and once the guy was able to get a good grip on the trunk, Koga flashed him a ten thousand volt smile.

"Would you like some assistance?" He said nicely ignoring the flared look he was being given.

Koga waited for him to say anything and after a moment a smile lit up the stranger's face and any trace of hostility had vanished. "Oh man that'd be a life saver! I though my girlfriend had a dolly, she said she did, but you know how girls are!"

The truth was he did know how girls were and not one of them would have a dolly living in an apartment as upscale as the one they were in unless they were stupid. Then again, stupid loaded girls probably had no idea what a dolly even was unless it was in reference to a Barbie doll or that one country singer with the huge fake breasts. He didn't say anything though and instead of digging for more information, he took a side of the trunk and helped the guy carry it to his vehicle.

He'd been expecting something like a Honda Civic or some newer Ford Taurus, but the old beat up pick up truck was definitely a surprise to him. It was rundown and most likely problematic, but there was something about the way he treated the vehicle that was almost impersonal.

The two of them loaded the trunk into the bed of the truck and the now suspicious man thanked Koga before slamming shut the tailgate and climbing into the pickup. Koga waited until he drove off to head back for the lobby and this time the wait for the elevator was a short one.

He felt good for being a good Samaritan helping that guy and yet at the same time there was a churning in his stomach like he'd done something horribly wrong at the same time. Koga chalked it up to his jittery nerves and waited patiently to reach his designated floor--he was going to see Rin and no doubt about it he was planning on unveiling a little bit of tasty gossip.

There was no directory of which way he was supposed to go and after twenty or so minutes of aimless wandering a sparklingly hot red head girl gave him directions. He was going to have to find a way to "casually" run into her again later and ask her out for a cup of coffee or something much better.

When he finally reached the right apartment he easily felt ten years older and absolutely bored out of his mind. He knocked on the large door checking his watch for the umpteenth time, it wasn't too early that she'd still be sleeping, but not late enough for her to have left without him noticing.

Now Koga was a decidedly patient man, he considered himself considerably as much, but after ten minutes of dead silence waiting for someone to answer the door, his limitless patience was running dry. His weight shifted silently from one foot to another and just as he was about to give up a familiar voice came from behind him.

"Oy!" Koga didn't even have to turn around to know whose voice it was and he frowned. "What brings your mangy ass to my apartment Koga?"

Originally he thought it was a coincidence that Rin lived in the same building as InuYasha, his long time rival in life, but never once did he imagine that the two of them lived together. It made him wonder if it was the reason why Rin always turned him down, yet he didn't want to believe it to be possible. After all, Koga didn't think that the idiot in front of him was good enough to lick the sludge from Rin's boots let alone be the type of guy she fancied, it was nearly vomit worthy.

To Koga it was plain ridiculous and he scoffed at the thought. Of course Rin wasn't dating InuYasha, he was a pig and that was that. Rin wasn't dating InuYasha—hell for all Koga knew they could be cousins… Yeah, that sounded better, they were related.

"So you gunna tell me what you're doing here?" InuYasha pushed passed Koga and unlocked his door. "Or are ya' just gunna stand there like the idiot you are?"

"Keh!" Koga scoffed glaring at the silver-haired boy. "I'm here to see Rin, we're supposed to hang out today."

InuYasha didn't care who Rin brought home, but he highly doubted Koga to be one of the few and he rolled his eyes flipping the lights on. What greeted him had InuYasha and Koga both stopping in their tracks and his heart plummeted into his stomach.

The entire place was ransacked and reminded him of pictures of all the moves he watched up till then. Tables and furniture overturned, shattered glass littering the floor and InuYasha seriously thought he stepped right out of reality and into a nightmare. His jaw would have dropped to the floor if it was able to and he fumbled for his cell phone seeing dots of red dancing around on the tan carpet.

This wasn't happening to him, he couldn't believe it even though the proof was as plain as the nose on his face and right in front of his own eyes. It took a matter of moments for the police to arrive only to be led from his apartment like an abused woman by two officers. InuYasha was in shock as uniformed badges searched for any signs of Rin, but everyone, him included knew she wasn't there—it was painfully obvious by the state of his apartment.

Two hours was how long it took for the police to finish their run of the apartment, several of them coming to InuYasha and re-asking questions of previous officers. It felt like a slow and cruel game of ring around the rosy and by the time they left InuYasha was an emotional wreck.

He guessed things could have gone better—he could have saved himself an emergency room visit for starters. Grant it, he'd been in shock so he hadn't thought to call Sesshomaru, but the minute Koga filled in the blanks to why the apartment was trashed, InuYasha was introduced to his half-brother's fists. More than once.

It wasn't a casual introduction like 'boy meets girl in a perfect world', but rather Fists of Fury meets Rambo and Rocky in the 'you mother fucker I'm going to grind your bones to make my bread' kind of way or something remotely similar to that effect. So there he was nursing a broken nose like some schmuck trying to clean up what the police thought wasn't important enough to include in the investigation.

He doubted they'd follow up on the case, most rarely did since there was a three or was it four day missing person requirement. How come people were found only in the movies? That was a thought for a brighter, less stressful day and it wasn't until well after dawn that he was able to succumb to his much needed sleep and even then it didn't last nearly as long as he had wanted it to.

Days came and went at a snail's pace and everyone was on edge. Sesshomaru was off in his own little world trying to find leads on anything tangible and was arrested once for breaking and entering at Sango and Miroku's home. Koga was calling InuYasha's phone every hour on the hour for an update they knew wouldn't change and all the while things were looking desperately dimmer.

The detectives placed on Rin's case had a small list of leads and none of them were helping—it was falling down like the structure in the sung song "London Bridge". Kohaku was apprehended twice and a few hours after being taken into custody he was released. The first time for driving with expired tags and the second in regards to Rin's disappearance. They even searched Sango's place from top to bottom, much to her distaste and when nothing turned up it felt like all hope was lost.

No new leads were popping up and no old ones were panning out and after two weeks it seemed like all efforts by the police ceased. Everyone had their opinions—some expressed them freely and though tempers flared and sometimes fists, there was nothing that could be done legally.

Sango had been confronted on several occasions by these opinions and she spat on them—sticking to her faith on Kohaku's innocence. She didn't need friends who thought her brother was some deranged crackpot (which led to Sesshomaru's initial arrest and multiple warnings from police later). There was no need for her to prove her brother was innocent because her heart told her he was and that's all the proof that she needed, screw everyone else.

Her stubborn train of thought though caused many loud fights between her and Miroku and if he hadn't been a patient, understanding person things would have escaladed to more than just heated screaming. She was just too pig-headed and stubborn and when she got angry her first came out. Now Miroku knew Sango like he knew the back of his hand and he knew that she wasn't a violent creature, but she wasn't exactly a lame one either.

People were raised differently, some with caring parents or in his case relatives; some by nannies or hired help, and in Sango's case she was raised with her fists raised. She spent most of her life at a gym—Tai Bo, kickboxing, martial arts—you name it her father probably enrolled her in it, and Kohaku too. It was her stress reliever and Miroku believed that maybe Kohaku applied it to a different aspect of his life instead of in a ring or on a mat like Sango had.

In no way, shape, or form was he saying that Kohaku did something to Rin, he didn't know that for certain, but Miroku did know that something was going on with the said boy. Kohaku had that dark look in his eyes when he thought no one was paying attention and his smiles were becoming increasingly more eerie as time went by. Of course there could be many different plausible answers for Kohaku's subtle personality changes, but there was only one that kept Miroku from getting a full night's sleep from his spot on the couch.

Miroku noticed things that other's did not, like the clocks for example—every single one was two hours off, all on an earlier time and he thought it was suspicion worthy. Another thing that stood out was how much Kohaku had come to stay over. He wasn't sleeping in the set up guest room made for him but the basement and he'd gone so far as volunteering to move the washer and dryer into the unused den.

He did try once or twice to bring up the oddness of it to Sango yet after the scream fest, he decided to keep it on a need to know basis, which consisted of Sango knot knowing because she was lost in her fantasy life where everything was perfect. It made him angry to think his girlfriend of eight years could be behaving so stupidly and when the hurricane of all fights broke out, Miroku broke.

No number of tears of pleads could keep him pretending along with Sango in spite of every ounce of proof against Kohaku and so he packed up his belongings, moving into a cheap studio, he went as far as he could possibly go. It made him feel guilty and heartbroken that things had to go down the bumpy uneasy road, but he knew he had to do something drastic to wake Sango up and smell the roses.

It was on the final moving day that Miroku decided to stop dancing around Kohaku and Sango and he created a new beat of his own. Originally he planned to get his stuff and go like any sane person would and he almost did as much; however, when Kohaku gave him the 'I'm sorry things didn't work out between you and my sister' line with a barely kept Cheshire grin on his face, Miroku knew that he couldn't walk out of there empty handed.

He'd been lucky that InuYasha volunteered with lugging things around because when the shit hit the fan (so to say), it was InuYasha that came to the rescue. Miroku had been itching to get into the basement when Kohaku installed a pad lock on it claiming it was for privacy, and when Kohaku left that day, it was Miroku who quenched his thirst of curiosity.

There was no action-packed breaking down of the door or the suave sophistication of lock picking; instead, he opted out for the simple unscrewing of the pad lock screws and hinges with a plain metal butter knife. The door had been installed backwards and when he couldn't reach the screws, he popped off the pins holding the hinges together and voila—the door opened.

He flipped on the lights almost blinding himself with how bright the lights were. Basements were dark and shadowy places, not lit up like Vegas. The stairs creaked under his feet and chills ran up his spine, the fine hairs on his body standing on end; he officially was in the lion's den and though it looked like a normal single guy's pad, it felt like a horror film come to life.

He checked in all the obvious places, under the bed, in the built in closet, an abandoned trunk, and any place that a body could be stashed and finding nothing he almost gave up hope. A big part of him knew she had to be down there somewhere and the adrenaline rushing in his veins was telling him time wasn't on his side.

"Rin?" He resorted to calling out in the silence, "Rin if you're here please gimme a sign. It's Miroku—please, anything!"

If he hadn't held his breath Miroku was positive he would have missed it and he felt his heart jump up into his throat. It was obvious and yet so clever that it hadn't even crossed his mind and quickly as he heard the sound, Miroku scrambled to the bookcases against the side of the stairs.

The bookcases themselves were light and most of the books fell to the floor in his attempt to move them out of his way. There were small bars from the floor up, like a built in dog kennel and Miroku felt sick to his stomach when his already wide eyes landed on Rin.

She lay unmoving on the cold cement floor, her long midnight hair tangled and matted around her ghostly pale face. The collared shirt she wore was long sleeved and filthy, coated with dirt and from what he thought to be maybe sweat. He was right, it was exactly like a movie—hopeless victim, eyefuls of bare skin, tattered and filthy clothing and even the pathetic empty look Rin gave him from behind glazed eyes.

Immediately he looked for something strong enough to pry open the bars, meanwhile pulling out his cell phone and texting InuYasha. He didn't know why he didn't call him, but when he didn't find anything, he kneeled next to Rin and dialed nine one one.

There wasn't enough time to go searching for something upstairs and he wasn't going to leave Rin down there a minute longer by herself. Kohaku was dangerous and he had to be stopped before someone wound up dead. The dispatch operator's voice filled his ear and immediately he started spewing everything he could as quickly as he could. He needed help, badly, and the faster they would send someone the faster Rin could get the medical attention she deserved.

Miroku was so focused on Rin and the 9-1-1-dispatch operator that he didn't hear the creaking of the stairs or the clip-clop of footsteps on cement. However, he did feel the slight pressure on his back and before he could turn his head he felt it—a zap of electricity biting into his skin.

He'd been tasered before a few years back so the pain was familiar, but the cell phone in his ear acted like a conductor and he cried out feeling the electricity crippling his muscles. Only for Miroku it wasn't just a jolt, it was a continuous stream of pain and he knew that not only was it not letting up, but that it wasn't going to and boy was he screwed.

It took all of seven minutes from the time Kohaku disappeared into the house until InuYasha's cell phone went off to know that something was wrong. He didn't have to be a genius to figure it out and quickly he jogged back into the house to find Miroku. Only he didn't find his friend and before he thought to call said friend, he saw the basement door leaning against the kitchen counter and the sirens of approaching police vehicles.

InuYasha didn't wait for them to come knocking on the front door so he left it open and without thinking, he barreled his way down the stairs clipping Kohaku's shoulder and tackling the younger boy to the ground. InuYasha didn't have to look for Miroku to tell that he wasn't okay, he could smell the burning flesh as plain as day.

Kohaku struggled, yelling at incoherently at InuYasha; however, it all fell on deaf ears as he pummeled the younger boy. How dare he hurt Miroku so callously? How dare he! InuYasha snapped and he attacked Kohaku like a mad beast until several sets of strong hands pulled him away and Kohaku's left hook collided with the side of his face.

"You bastard!" InuYasha growled venomously, the six hands pulling him back even further. "Where is she? Where the fuck are you hiding her?"

All Kohaku did was laugh as two officers hauled him to his feet, but the smiling face he wore instantly faded when an officer released InuYasha to check Miroku's vitals and spotted the unmoving girl behind the cage. Someone had a lot of explaining to do and it wasn't Lucy Ricardo either.

Waking up to a headache was normal, waking up to a headache and machine's beeping was even worse than falling down and scraping a knee. It meant that people knew stuff other's shouldn't, that there were hospital bills and unwanted attention. Mentally Rin groaned trying to force her eyes open, she was in a hospital that meant she had been hurt in some severe way. Only problem was that she couldn't remember why or how.

"Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner… That is what I'd truly like to be-e-e-," the familiar voice was singing and it slowly stole away her ability to go back to sleep. "Cause if I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner, everyone would be in love with me!"

"I'm a vegetarian, shut the fuck up!" Rin croaked out. She was too tired to get up and smack her neighbor, but she'd be damned if she let the fool continue singing that ridiculous hotdog song one more time.

Soft and amused chuckles tickled her ears and sluggishly Rin turned her head, waiting impatiently for her eyes to focus to the fluorescent lights properly. A large warm hand squeezed her own and she gazed into a pair of molten amber eyes and she thought she'd start crying staring at Sesshomaru.

"Hey there."

"Is anything broken?" She asked quietly accepting the small ice chip he offered her, his fingertips lingering on her lips and sending a wave of gooseflesh creeping over her skin.

"No," his voice turned cold and Rin wanted to smile seeing the serious look on his face. It was cute and endearing that he showed her something other than soft glances since she didn't think she could handle it from him. "But you have a concussion, a few stitches and a minor burn on your neck."

Rin merely nodded her head not asking further about her injuries because honestly she didn't want to know about them. Maybe it was a little childish of her, but she felt that if she knew the real damage it would make things that much worse and she only wanted to think about the more positives things in life at the moment, like Sesshomaru and the prospect of leaving the hospital of course.

"How long am I stuck here next to the television jingle singer?"

That brought a small smirk to Sesshomaru's lips and it made the butterflies in her stomach flutter nervously. "A couple of days or so. Doctors want to run a few more tests and what not, then we can go home I'm sure."

"Hmmm," Rin felt her heart leap into her throat. "We… that sounds good."

And "we" did sound good, delightfully so and Rin closed her eyes allowing herself to relax into the uncomfortable hospital bed. She'd ask Sesshomaru some other time for all the dirty details when 'they' got home. It was a wonderful feeling, there being a 'we' or a 'them'—a her and Sesshomaru, and the throbbing ache in her body became a dull, manageable one.

He knew exactly what to say and when to say it and Rin was eager to experience Sesshomaru because with him she knew she had a fighting chance. He was filled with surprises, the non-aching in a bad way kind that leaves emotional and sometimes physical scars and she wanted to find out what he had to offer her and if it was love.

"Yes Rin," she heard him say as she drifted off. "It sounds perfect."

THE END!

_**E/N: **__I know Kohaku's a little OOC, but I've always imagined him as the type to have mental problems. I really loved this story, and I hope you did as well. PLEASE REVIEW and leave me your honest opinions! _

_Until next time, KRYSTAL!_


	8. Chapter 8

Side note: I think I was neglected as a child…

A First Time For Everything

_**By Miztikal-Dragon**_

"The Great Escape" -- Boys Like Girls

It was funny how things happened, so slowly yet so quickly and it seemed like a lifetime could be over in nothing but a mere second. It was funny because even if it was expected it still hurt more than one could imagine, hurt so bad that it was hard to continue living. What was even funnier than anything else was how it all seemed to happen the same after it ended, if that makes any sense at all.

Funeral processions; always on a dark dreary day, the sun hiding behind the silently drifting clouds and the slight drizzle of raindrops on black umbrellas or on the exposed suit jackets and blazers. The priests and pastors all read from basically the same book, uttered the same words of sorrow and the same clouded eyes watching unseeing and leaking with moisture that never wanted to dry.

Long black and white hearses rolled down the street accompanied by motorcycle officers and their flashing lights of red and blue slowing down traffic or stopping it completely until the last vehicle made it in the long procession. People gave their blessings, said their peace, and remembered the now deceased, and rarely ever was it a negative speech. It was as though they were all trying to compare their pain or all trying to one up the other saying that their pain was worse than all the rest.

Funerals were overrated and she'd been to enough in her young life to know that they weren't where she wanted to spend the rest of her life going. This time however, instead of apologetic looks she received heated glares and even a few snooty comments. Okay, so maybe it wasn't the brightest thing coming to a funeral in a pair of jeans and a tight t-shirt, but the hell she was going to come to another funeral in depressing black and pretend that everything was going to be all right.

If she wanted to lie to herself she'd start telling herself that bluebirds were carnation yellow. She was mourning in her own way, comfortably, and if anyone had a problem with it they could have just asked her to leave, that at least would have given her a reason to punch someone in the face and blame it on the grief.

She didn't wait until all of the guests to leave to excuse herself, she waited until the decorative coffin was lowered into the ground then say a silent prayer and walk away. The dead didn't need a show of flash and money to know that she loved and respected them, she showed up and that's all she could offer at the time.

While the others would head back to begin the "mourning party" at the deceased's old residence and gorge themselves on finger foods and old memories, she was by herself dealing with everything the only way she knew how. Many of the people who showed up thought of her as childish and dismissed her with a passing glance, but she would not allow any of them to dismiss her or her feelings this day.

So she wasn't normal when it came to self-expression; everyone had their own quirks, yet to her it felt like personality flaws. She went home as quickly as her legs would take her, bypassing everything and grabbing the thing that now was the most important thing to her—an acoustic guitar.

It wasn't much but then again, it was all that she had left and she wasn't about to leave it behind. The wood was slick and she smiled to herself fingering the worn down strap before pulling it over her shoulder. All the memories it carried was heavy on her heart, but not enough to make her abandon it like a horrible burden. Out of everything else if all she could keep was an old guitar then that's all she would ever need for her meaningless existence.

Silently she left, just as she'd come, and yet instead of going on her merry and depressing way, she climbed up on the concrete stairwell in front of her building's door like she had many times before and lazily strummed the guitar. It was a little off key, but then again so was she and that's what made it so perfect.

She didn't have to think of the chords or what she wanted, it came to her like breathing did and instantly she lost herself. The song wasn't sad, yet it was full of the emotions that cut her deep and exposed her to the real world. She played for the dead the way he'd played for her all those times, singing the way only he could to make her smile and as her voice grew louder she felt more of the control she had slip away from her.

"Throw it away, forget yesterday, we'll make the great escape," she was yelling out everything she couldn't express and her heart clenched in her chest, her lungs screamed, but she refused to stop herself. "We won't hear a word they say, they don't know us anyway. Watch it burn, let it die cause we are finally free tonight."

All the emotions were building to a climax in her chest and it felt like she would die. She wanted to cry, hide herself away from the world and the worst part of it all was that she knew she couldn't. "Rin get down from there!"

It happened too fast for Rin to comprehend the situation; one moment she was lost in her grief and pain and the next her wrist was being viciously torn from the humming guitar strings and she was falling off the concrete stairwell. The fall wasn't neck breaking, more of a shocked stumble, but somehow she managed to rip a hole in her jeans and skin her knee.

The throbbing pain made her want to cry even more than before, it was all building up and seeing the tiny scratches and chip on the guitar was almost enough to send her over the edge. "It's called grievance counseling, cheap-o version. Thanks for the near death experience."

Why did they all have to show up now? Why couldn't they just have waited in their depressing vehicles long enough for her to say what she needed to? No-Instead they stared and gawked at her as though she was the Anti-Christ and all she was doing was having a tiny nervous breakdown. Her being sprawled out on the ground like a pouting child cradling a dead man's guitar in her arms was merely coincidence to them.

"I can't believe you!" Rin looked up and glared at the polished woman standing over her, her long hair twirled into a bun and her black mourning clothes giving her the appearance of something she wasn't—high class. "Of all the days, why today?"

"Why not?" She bit back angrily shoving herself to her feet completely ignoring the faceless, nameless people silently shuffling into the building.

She didn't want to pretend that it was okay, not when people would be forcing themselves into a flat that was barely enough room for two people to co-exist in. She didn't want to think about all those people touching her belongings, damaging all her wonderful memories with their life stealing fingers.

"When do I get to grieve the way I want to?" She was almost yelling, sizing up her once friend like a teenager ready for a brawl after class ended. "I loved him too you know!"

"I don't care what you do Rin," the woman spoke like a scolding mother, not some almost sister-in-law. "But next time do it behind closed doors. Nobody wants to see you make yourself more of a fool than you've already done."

If Rin had been any smaller of a person, the woman would have been on the pavement in seconds flat memorizing the bitter taste of a sharp knuckle sandwich; but then again, Rin wasn't that petty.

"I hate you Sango," Rin spat giving the woman in front of her the dirtiest glare she could muster up. "You wouldn't understand our feelings for each other even if they bit you on the ass!"

She didn't stand there waiting for another mourner to make their way into the two person fight, Rin didn't even wait for another insult to be flung her way. Instead, Rin did the only thing she could think of to do, she turned her back on everyone and left. She wasn't made of steel like Sango pretended to be, but she wasn't going to allow them a chance to drag her down because she handled her emotions differently.

So what if she couldn't cry at funerals anymore, she'd gone to enough in her lifetime already and each experience made her more numb than the previous one. It wasn't like Rin was asking for a pity party, she just wanted to be herself and deal with it the way she knew how. They didn't need to pass judgment on her because she already did enough for everyone.

Why couldn't she just walk into a black hole and disappear from everyone's radar? Why wasn't she allowed to be saved from this kind of torture and heartache, was she not deserving enough? Well whether she was or wasn't, honestly she didn't want to know the answer. All she did know was now she would once again have to pick up the crudely broken pieces of her life and this time there would be no gentle eyes and caring arms to hold her in place while she crumbled. This time there would be no love—no Kohaku and it broke her heart.

It was more than a long while later that she cared to gaze up at a street sign in the real world, but it was okay, she wasn't planning on going home anytime soon. Sango might be waiting with her all seeing and cruel eyes and rip into her again about how deep her pain was. After all, Rin only lost her fiancée—the love of her life and Sango had lost her only brother, so how could Rin ever dare to compare to Sango? A sister's pain was always worse than a lover's.

Sango might even try to blame her for Kohaku's death, Rin had been blamed for a death before so she already knew the routine and she didn't want to be apart of yet another round of the blame game. Rin was just too tired of it all, all the hurt, all of the endings that seemed to fall at her feet; however, she was more tired of people needing to blame someone and choosing her as the best candidate.

Maybe in the big grand scheme of things she was supposed to be the one everyone blamed, her father had always said having nothing builds character, and if that were true then she would have character growing out of her ears. Then again, maybe she was only kidding herself, maybe, just maybe, it wasn't in her stars to be anything but unhappy. And if that was the real deal, then she wanted no part of the struggle of being alive and she'd end it; just like the kid who decided it for Kohaku.

Eventually she ended up at some park miles away from her now lonely and empty flat and she sat down in front of the ridiculous fountain. If she had wanted to, Rin could have sat on a nearby bench, but the sound of rushing water and of swimming fish felt more relaxing. At first she just sat there holding the guitar in her lap and thinking about every memory she had, both good and bad allowing herself to drift into a world that no longer existed for her.

It wasn't in the least pleasant, yet it was comforting and Rin didn't know if it was the best idea. People gave her weird looks as the walked by, a soundless musician, a real life statue in a pair of blue jeans and a band t-shirt and if Rin could have her way, she would have asked to be turned into stone.

Rin made it a daily routine, shower, dress, grab the guitar, and walk the long distance to the park and sit in front of the same fountain. Some days she would play a song, others she would pretend she was the statue she wanted to be; although, at the end of everyday that went by left her with the same overwhelming emptiness.

She tried lifting her spirits and instead of glaring at any passerby who dropped a coin or two next to her, she brought her guitar case and a plastic bag and at the end of each day she'd walk the streets giving it to the street performers.

Rin could have made a decent living with the change alone, but she didn't need or want it so she gave it away. Suffering people would be able to live another day if they chose to and all she was doing was giving them the means to do as such. It didn't matter if she sounded a little hypocritical because she didn't need a stranger's pity or charity, all she wanted was to be forgotten like history.

With her daily routine came some unwanted "perks" that she called inconveniences and it ruined any chance of her being simply forgotten. Never once did she look up at any of her admirers, she didn't want to see the looks on their faces so she tried to keep her eyes on her instrument or closed. And when those options weren't available, Rin watched people's feet. It was almost disturbing, the wide ranges of shoes people wore and the few who obviously didn't take care of themselves the way they should have.

As odd as it may have sounded, Rin was able to build a world around the sounds of the park and people's feet. There was just so many different kinds, all with their own statements and styles and personalities, most over exaggerated albeit, but it was her secret world so what did it really matter.

Some feet though were consistent, the same style, almost the same color and deep down Rin knew they belonged to the same person. It was easy to tell by the size that it was a male, if you were ignoring the fact that they were expensive and most definitely Italian and always in the company of a suit. Rin knew what upper class looked like and she didn't need to be a psychic to know he'd been watching her.

She felt his eyes staring at her for the ten minutes he stood there each day and it unnerved her. Why would he stop to watch a girl play a guitar? As plain to see like the shoes on his feet were that he had more than spare changed in his pocket, but never once did he part with a dime of it. He made Rin want to start screaming at him like a banshee until he disappeared, but she hadn't spoken in so long she couldn't remember what she sounded like.

Like everyone else Rin had okay days where she was able to cope with her emotions; she had bad days and then she had days that felt like she was in a never-ending nightmare. On those horrible days she sat in the park like a log staring into the empty space that seemed to take over more and more space in her mind.

And more often than not those expensive Italian shoes stopped, not too far from where she limply sat and the world would come crashing down on her. It wasn't the most wonderful feeling, but on those days she felt like she was slowly suffocating, mentally screaming for help until he arrived to keep her from drowning.

And then he stopped coming and her eyes searched for the same Italian shoes that kept her sane. No, it wasn't good for a girl like her to drown in her sorrows and lose everything while on a mental vacation, but it's where Rin was stuck. She still refused to look the passerby's in the face, yet she started noticing what they wore and how those nameless faceless people behaved and she wished she never gazed up to see as much.

It was a stupid thought followed by paranoia and depression that ran almost as deep as the love that she felt for Kohaku. Even without seeing their faces she could still read their body language and it struck her life a knife to the chest. People were happy, hugging, and holding hands; they were living a life that Rin merely existed in like some pathetic and useless stage prop.

Everything Rin had to look forward to in life was gone, all being carried away like a feather in a breeze and she wondered if there was ever a way for someone to get up after falling as hard as she did because if there was she knew that there was no way that she'd get to be one of the lucky ones. Love had built her up taller than the Chrysler building and it was also love that dug her a ten foot grave and watched her fall inside.

Rin felt more sluggish and exhausted as the days without seeing Mr. Italian shoes grew, eating was near impossible and the anti-depression pills weren't working the way they should have been because she could still feel her heart throbbing and aching. They told her the pain would stop, told her she'd start feeling better—well that was the last time she took advise from a doctor who let her sleep over. It was the last time she'd trust a friend.

But like a good girl, before leaving for the park she downed her prescription and chased it with half a glass of water. She could already tell that it wasn't going to be a good day or anywhere near it and that sunk any good thoughts that could have drifted to the back of her mind. The walk took longer than it normally would, though she never knew what time it was anymore, she hadn't bothered to even remember what day it was, but she wouldn't forget her guitar.

When Rin finally made it to her spot in front of the fountain she was already short of breath and more tired than she'd felt in a long while. Her eyes were drooping, though she still strummed the strings like she did normally. She hadn't seen him, her Italian shoes in what felt like decades, but that was okay because she was beginning to doubt she would be leaving her current spot.

It felt almost ironic that there was only one tune on her mind and she'd been playing it for a while and it made her smile. It was only fitting to play it now and she cleared her throat as much as possible. She wanted to let her admirers know exactly what was on her mind and it felt perfect. Almost as perfect as being held by Kohaku had been when he was alive. He was dead now though.

"All of the wasted time, the hours that were left behind," her voice was soft though she knew she didn't have the strength to get any louder. "The answers that we'll never find, they don't mean a thing tonight."

The feet, they had somehow multiplied and she closed her eyes feeling the cold moisture of her tears slip down her face. The song wasn't meant to sound sad after all it was a song about a great escape. It was happy, but her ears weren't the ones lying to her.

"Throw it away, forget yesterday we'll make the great escape," Rin had lost feeling in her legs moments before and despite knowing the end was near she could feel the smile on her face. "We won't hear a word they say, they don't know us anyway. Watch it burn, let it die…"

The musical chords of the strumming guitar stopped and Rin felt herself slump against the concrete behind her. She felt like she was slowly suffocating again, but she knew she was still breathing. Rin could hear the worried voices buzzing by her ears and then a sharp contrast of a large hand cupping the back of her head. Her eyes were heavy and she tried to force them open wondering if her vision was going since all she could see was silver and smell the soft cologne of someone familiar.

"…Cause we are finally free tonight," she could feel herself being lifted as her voice died. Was this what it felt like to die? If it was it felt numb and weird, but Rin was glad she could only go once because she wasn't sure if she could do it again.

Things were meant to happen the way they had a tendency to do; after all, he'd happened by her completely by chance. He'd been at the funeral home with his half brother going over their father's choice of burial plots. There had been several different processions set up, yet hers had been going on and out of an endless sea of black he spotted blue and green.

It wasn't traditional to come to a funeral in street clothes and he'd scoffed at her lack of respect for the dead. She'd either been really stupid or really really lazy and to him both sounded highly plausible. He'd watched her out of curiosity and his eyes followed her as she left. She was attractive, yes, but she looked barely legal not to mention he did not go after her type; she was beneath him in the food chain of society.

So as she faded from his vision he was already beginning the process of erasing her from his mind. It wasn't like he was ever going to see her again and she wasn't the kind he would associate with. She wasn't what was important, his father was and with that final though he returned his attention to his half brother and the funeral director. He didn't want to spend anymore of his time discussing his father's eventual demise, it wasn't on the top ten things on his to do list.

The weather grew slightly colder after everything was arranged and he pulled his coat tighter around his body heading for the nondescript black sedan that his half brother loved to drive around. His mood was fleeing along with the day and he wished to get back to his home to finally be alone to do the work that still needed to be done. Just because his father's health was steadily going down the toilet didn't mean that he could ever dream to allow his work to do the same, he had too much pride to let himself fall like that.

The normally semi-empty road was packed bumper to bumper and he watched the slow rolling of more nondescript black vehicles in front of them, it looked like the deceased's home from the funeral he observed was somewhere close. All those people gathered into a home, like swarming locusts, it disgusted him, it was too many people touching someone else's belongings, raping it with their grubby touch and defiling a sanctuary that had belonged to someone. He wasn't sentimental, but he didn't want to think about being in anyone else's shoes, he couldn't bear to think about all kinds of strangers in his home touching his things if he had kicked the bucket.

When the vehicle he was in slowed down practically to a stop he rolled his eyes ignoring whatever it was his brother had to say, all he wanted was to get home without any pathetic excuses. Instead he lazily rolled down the window allowing the stale warm air to escape and allow the slightly colder and fresher air to seep in. There was no doubt he would be stuck sitting there for a while and he allowed his eyes to glide over the not so pleasant scenery.

It wasn't the best of neighborhoods, he could plainly see as much by just looking at the slightly dilapidated and old buildings. Parked vehicles crowded the sidewalk and people walked almost in a single file line to one building in particular and his curiosity rose seeing long black hair, a tight t-shirt and a pair of ripped blue jeans.

He hadn't expected to see her again so quickly, but by the expressions on her face she wasn't one of those crying mourners. The fact that she held a guitar like it was her last lifeline was enough to draw his complete attention and when she stormed off he found his eyes following her. She was attractive, oddly more so with the angry glare in her eyes and he suddenly didn't want to forget her.

That wasn't like him though and he softly shook his head rolling up the window. He wasn't the kind of guy who focused his attention on a more than likely poor child, he wasn't the type of guy who was attracted to women with only a fleeting glance and alien thoughts. She wasn't worth remembering so he tried evicting her from his brain, narrowing his eyes irritably that he was still even thinking of this ordinary girl.

"Hey Sesshomaru?" he could hear his brother calling his name and when a hand touched his shoulder he switched his vision to his half brother. "Sesshomaru?"

"What?" Sesshomaru wanted to be by himself to forget because remembering was pointless and besides, he was a busy man.

"Are you okay?" His brother was a pain and he was glad that the boy's visits weren't often. "You kinda zoned out on me here."

"I'm fine InuYasha," Sesshomaru said indifferently closing his eyes and shrugging off his younger brother's hand from his shoulder. "Just drive back to my Condo so I can get back to work."

Normally InuYasha was the kind of person who would argue just for the sake of an argument, but this time however; he did as he was instructed. The silence calmed Sesshomaru, gave his mind the time it needed to focus and before too long he was tucked away from civilization in the comforts of his luxurious condominium. Stacks of unfiled paperwork covered his desk and he wasted absolutely no time digging into the mess.

The paperwork, as endless as it seemed, kept him in tune with the person he'd always been and it wasn't until hours later that he was able to surface for a break from reading barely legible notes and scribbles and the neat text printed ten times too small for a normal person to read. He made a living off doing it, a damn good living if he had any say so, and he wasn't willing to change careers even if he did have blinding headaches after an all-nighter or two.

And though normally he didn't mind the relentless and almost mindless work, this time it was harder to keep himself one hundred percent focused on work and work alone. A pot of coffee sat on the counter slowly growing colder and he ignored it. He knew that if he made another pot he'd work himself through most of the night and work wasn't something he wanted to do at the moment. It would be there later and he was never in a rush to finish anything, so he decided it could wait.

He could have sat back and relaxed until he got bored or he could have done something remotely productive, but instead Sesshomaru found himself leaving his home in favor of a long walk. It sounded like a good idea to clear his mind and get himself into the groove of things, it would help him with the restlessness he was trying to fight down.

The streets weren't crowded and yet they weren't empty either and Sesshomaru couldn't help but wish he had lived out in the country. In the country there were less people roaming around, hell, less curious people in general and that sounded absolutely wonderful. Endless, undeveloped land with no irritants, no disgusting bodies of drones—it sounded like heaven on Earth.

He'd have to look into it, he told himself. It wasn't like he couldn't take his work out to the countryside; besides, the more time he took to think about it, the better it began to sound. Then again, Sesshomaru reminded himself, it would all have to wait until everything having to do with his father was taken care of, including his death.

That bitter little thought was a dream crusher through and through and Sesshomaru signed coming to a stop. He didn't want to think of death and funerals, not because they were sad, but because it immediately made him think of that girl with the guitar; the same girl at the cemetery earlier. It was obvious that she'd lost someone, probably someone important and it made him wonder who it was.

Was it a family member or a friend? Did she get along with them or was it one of those love to hate relationships? Sesshomaru suddenly wanted to know about this stranger for no "apparent" reason and it bugged him. Why was he thinking of her, it wasn't like he knew her and on any other given day he wouldn't have looked twice at someone like her, but why was he so interested this time?

The sounds of rushing water stole him from his thoughts; he was at the park a few blocks from his condo and Sesshomaru sighed yet again. He'd only been there a few times in passing and each time the object that grabbed his attention was the monstrous fountain smack dab in the middle of it. He scoffed at the thought of being drawn to it, but when he glanced up his heart skipped a beat, or two.

The girl—she sat on the sidewalk as though she was some homeless street urchin, her tight t-shirt, a pair of blue jeans, and her guitar. At first he thought he was seeing things, but after a moment he knew that she was for real. Three times, Sesshomaru had come across her on three completely separate occasions in the very same day and he didn't think it was merely a coincidence.

The only reasonable answer was that she'd been following him like some bad private investigator, though he immediately dismissed it as he came closer. He'd seen many actors and actresses in his day, none of which could pull off the empty gaze the way she did. Just her expression alone made gooseflesh crawl up his spine. She looked gone to the world and anyone else who noticed her would have thought her to be dead if her eyelashes hadn't fluttered a few times, her large brown eyes tearing up yet the moisture from them never fell.

He stood there watching her for so long that when his cell phone started vibrating in his pocket it was already growing dark. It was unusual for him to be so interested, but he blamed it on his father's failing health. If the man wasn't slowly deteriorating and demanding for the preparations for his death to be done then Sesshomaru would have never come across the her and then he would have been no different from his normal self.

It was easier to blame someone else than come to terms with his curiosity and despite saying he wouldn't, Sesshomaru found himself at the park the next day looking for a glimpse of her. He wasn't expecting to see her again, but much to his surprise she was already there in front of the fountain, her guitar in hand. Not once did she look up at him like a normal person would and it made him wonder if she even realized that he was there.

Sesshomaru wasn't man enough to admit to it, but it was becoming apart of his daily routine to walk the few blocks to the park to see her and silently watch her until the feel of his cell phone vibrating dragged him away. He noticed little things about her like the way the dark circles around her eyes made her look like death and those days she sat like a forgotten statue. On those days she always seemed to be wearing a bigger, probably male's band t-shirt, maybe her husbands, judging by the ring on her left hand.

Other days she looked worn and sleep deprived, though those days were the days where her fingers slid across the guitar strings, following a tune in her head. He was drawn to her on those days, but he felt almost completely breathless on the days she looked her worst.

Not once did she ever look up at anyone, but one more than a few occasions he felt her piercing gaze on his feet. It was disturbing to a point to say the least, he'd show up and she looked so lost in herself and then as though a light was switched on, her gaze found their way to his shoes and unreadable emotions fluttered across her eyes. What was she thinking about?

It was an innocent question and after his half brother InuYasha accidently stumbled onto Sesshomaru's routine, he made a comment that struck chord on something in Sesshomaru. "Maybe you're so curious and wound up on what she's thinking about because subconsciously you want her to notice and think about you."

Sesshomaru would have denied it with InuYasha until they both were blue in the face and he'd been going to if he hadn't gotten the call that brought his entire life to a screeching halt. Their father had passed away the night before and though he'd been prepared for it, Sesshomaru wasn't ready to face the idea of his father really being gone. Almost immediately he was thrown into work, making appointments, setting dates and the grueling task of getting a hold of all of his father's friends and acquaintances.

Sesshomaru was so busy that he barely had time to breathe, let alone think about her and it wasn't until the day of his father's funeral that she crept into the back of his mind. It had been funny, the reason behind the sudden thought, it was a song he heard on the radio on his way home; it was oddly familiar and at first he couldn't place it. Then out of the blue he thought of her and when he came home, he immediately grabbed an umbrella and headed back out.

It had been raining all morning that day, practically a drizzle, but he wasn't going to risk getting sick. People would try blaming it on his father's death and that simply wasn't the case. Sesshomaru walked quickly to the park and though he doubted she'd be there, he silently hoped that she was.

He heard the melody as he approached, it was the same one he had heard earlier and he realized why he hadn't recognized it before. The song was upbeat, but the way she played it, it sounded almost heartbreaking. She looked horrible, her entire body soaked through and she appeared so much thinner than he remembered. What happened to her while he was gone, he wondered. Such a drastic change in a short amount of time and Sesshomaru felt the nervousness building in his stomach.

She looked like the dead and Sesshomaru wouldn't have know she was saying anything if he hadn't noticed her lips moving. Her voice was scratchy and a little raspy, but he noticed the slur to her words the most as she softly sang the words to the song. The dark circles were darker and her skin was a pasty white, but she seemed not to notice him.

An emotion blanketed over Sesshomaru as he stared at her, he couldn't tell if it was the rain or if she was really crying and it bugged him, but when the music stopped and she kept on singing he knew something was wrong. It wasn't the guitar going quiet that set off the alarms in his head, but the way her body suddenly slumped back, the instrument slipping from her grasp and clattering to the ground.

His umbrella fell from his hand as he went to her, his hands running over her cold flesh checking for a pulse. Finding one, Sesshomaru shrugged off his jacket and wrapped it around her, her head lolling lifelessly to the side as he pulled her into his arms, her sad song dying on her lips.

He could feel the panic rising in his stomach as he flagged down a cab, ordering the man to 'haul ass' to the nearest hospital. Sesshomaru didn't know her and yet he was silently worried for the ridiculously light girl cradled in his arms. The ride to the hospital felt like it took forever, but eventually he made it and in a matter of moments she was gone from his protective hold.

That had been a long three weeks ago and Sesshomaru checked up on her as much as the nurses at the hospital would let him. She was just some Jane Doe to them; however, to him she felt like something more than just another nameless girl. The nurses called him when she came around, yet they hadn't been successful in retrieving her name, or how she let herself get so far gone and Sesshomaru wasted no time driving to the hospital. He needed to see her to personally make sure that she was okay.

Once again he found himself hurrying to her, his long stride shortening the distance to her hospital room. The day nurse had already been in to check on her so anther check up wasn't due for an hour or so. Sesshomaru opened the hospital room door and immediately spotted her standing in front of the only window, her left hand clutching the I V stand, the small rock on her finger glittering from the sunlight.

For a moment Sesshomaru was completely speechless as she glanced over shoulder to see him, her long onyx hair flowing down her back and her brown eyes staring at him like he was a stranger. And though he didn't want to admit it, that's exactly what he was, a stranger. "The doctor's need tog et your name so they can notify your husband that you're okay."

Sesshomaru had seen the ring on her finger before and he was taking a stab in the dark assuming she was married. He had been expecting her to give up her name like a normal person would, but when she glanced at the ring and instead of a soft smile like he had thought she graced him with a bitter laugh and he was immediately taken back. "Good luck getting a hold of my fiancée, he's dead."

"Is that why you were at the park for so long?" Never in his life would he have asked, but it had come out of his mouth before he could stop it and he blamed it on the way she looked at him. Instantly her eyes darted to his shoes and he fought back a grin, opting for his usual emotionless mask.

"Italian loafers," she whispered more to herself and she sighed heavily closing her eyes. "I didn't know what else to do. I-I'm not good with that kinda stuff… I—I mean he wasn't supposed to die on me. He promised he wouldn't…"

He could hear the anger and the hurt in her quivering voice, her free handing coming up to rub her forehead and he didn't have to ask "how" because when she glanced back up they both knew that he wanted to know.

"We were supposed to meet and celebrate my birthday," she told him. "Kohaku wanted to do it and I was running late like always. I mean it was okay because he knew I'd be late, he joked about it on the phone when we last spoke."

Sesshomaru forced his feet to stay where they were so as not to disrupt her story, but really it was to keep himself from going to her like some emotional fool. "I saw him when I go off the bus and he waved to me. Th—then he was in the middle of the street, someone pushed him on accident and he just froze. K-Kohaku just stood there and I couldn't get him in time… He just stood there and let that kid in the pick up hit him… He just stood there—"

She choked on the words, her teeth biting down on her lip struggling to force it back and this time Sesshomaru didn't hold himself back. Instead he stood next to her and put his hand on her shoulder watching her tremble like she was going to crumble. To Sesshomaru she was as fragile as glass and he wanted to keep her together.

The feel of her arms wrapping around his waist was a surprise, the feel of her face pressing tightly against his chest had jolts of electricity surging through his entire body. He stood there awkwardly for a moment trying to decide what to do and in the end he enclosed her in a light embrace, shielding her away from the world as she cried.

He wanted to protect her and he tried to think of a way to do so without looking like some deranged stalker. He was interested in her, curious and he wanted to see where it would lead him. "It's not your fault."

Why he was suddenly speaking without thinking first was beyond him, but he wanted to save her the way she thought she should have saved her fiancée. The only difference this time would be that Sesshomaru could do it and he would if she'd let him.

-Fin-

E/N: So that story was maybe a little OOC, but I really loved it, kind of weird though if you actually listen to the song because I don't know how something as depressing as this came from that upbeat song. Maybe I really was neglected as a child or something. LOL!

Well I'm already thinking of a spin off of this story, a short on Rin/Sesshomaru's relationship afterward. Already have the basic outline thanks to the band "Closed Heart Surgery" and the songs I was listening to while typing the last part up. HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!

And as always because I'm selfish, please leave a review! THANKS


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Nope, don't own anything here besides the plot…. **

**A First Time For Everything**

**By Miztikal-Dragon**

"**S.O.S (Anything but Love)" **_---Apocalyptica_

Love, it's the major building block to anyone's life agenda no matter what they say. Everything revolves around that simple four-letter word that holds thousands of different meanings. It's something that most will experience and others will search desperately for only to come up empty handed. Love is misery waiting to happen and given the chance it could bloom into something deadly and dangerous.

It's funny how something so small could be so devastating; although, the smallest of cracks in a damn has the possibility of sending it crumbling down. Love is a risk one takes and success is more of a gamble than Russian roulette on any given day without trying. Love is more blind than justice could ever hope to dream of being and that's what's scary.

Cold raindrops fell unceremoniously on the clear windows, the moisture slowly dripping down and collecting on the ledge. It always seemed to be dark and damp, the never-ending rain flooding the streets if only slightly. The days were a little depressing with the grey clouds filling the sky, locking away the sun and a pair of blue eyes gazed longingly into the grayness.

Like the weather, her mood was downcast and depressing, though only by mere coincidence. However, unlike the weather, her downward feelings weren't something she wanted to see. They only reminded her of what she couldn't have and it made things worse than they already were.

Biting down on her lower lip, she closed her eyes and sighed heavily, this wasn't where she wanted to be, mentally at least, and she needed to jolt herself out of the dark funk she was slipping deeper into. She tried shaking out the jitters, loosening up her muscles and rolling her head from shoulder to shoulder; she had to be stronger than this.

The white walls surrounding her were blinding, the random splotches of red and black not as harsh on her eyes and she almost smiled thinking back to the day she'd been allowed to add her own touches to the small room. Everything was picked up and in its rightful place, exactly opposite of how she normally kept it and the room felt rather alien to her.

However after tonight it would no longer be considered her room, just about all of her personal belongings were packed up and put into the trunk of the car outside. Sure she was leaving behind a few things, but that was only because she wanted to be selfish. She wanted to leave things so that she wouldn't be forgotten, that and she didn't want to be the only one with hurt feelings.

The small studio apartment had been her home for over three long years and though she felt bad, it wasn't enough to stay and slip deeper into the misery that had taken a hold of her. She'd been handed a flotation device to keep her from drowning and despite everything that screamed at her not to she was taking it.

Slowly she rolled up the long sleeves of her white shirt to her elbows, pulling a long black spaghetti strap shirt over her, and buckling a studded belt around her waist. It was almost time to go now and it was tearing at her heart. The rain was only a slight drizzle now and she wanted a moment before her signal came to remind her of the set deadline.

Carefully she pulled a computer chair into the middle of the small room, facing the already set up camera and sat down. Her long time friend Kohaku was down the hall with the last of her bags, taking them to his car and when he returned they would begin. She unzipped the case to her side and gently pulled out the resting cello inside, her fingers dancing across the strings and loving the way they sang. This cello was the only thing that she didn't regret taking with her, it was her most prized possession after all and the first gift from him.

Tunes raced through her mind as she pulled out the companioned bow and rosined it, admiring how beautiful the horsehair still was after so much abuse and prolonged use. It was the only thing she cared enough for to take care of, she poured all her love that wasn't returned into the musical instrument and thinking about it was like a piece of her was dying all over again.

Six years ago it all started with a cello and a smile and it was funny that that's how it was also ending. She remembered the first day she met the love of her life, when she first saw Sesshomaru. She'd been barely entering junior high and though she looked young enough to be a normal seventh grade child, she was already two years behind everyone around her.

It was amusing, borderline hilarious to her the way they met and even now after everything she didn't regret a single moment. She'd stayed late again after the final bell rang, her bulging folder shielding her chest like a piece of body armor. Things had been looking downhill for her once again so she tried staying away from it all, thus the reason why she was still at school.

The only room that ever seemed to be unlocked was the music room, much to her surprise, but she wasn't willing to let out a peep to complain. So the small room became her safe haven and everyday she was there without fail doing homework that she could never do at home. Some days she played with the instruments that had been left out, others she was hunting down a book trying to figure out the chords and notes to those she found interesting.

It was there in that room that she learned she was destined to learn something beautiful. She told herself that it was purely coincidence that a cello had been left out along with a book, that it was only by chance that when she touched it everything else seemed to click in place inside her head. She also blamed good old fashion luck when she attempted to play when he happened across her that day.

The cello she'd held in her hands let out a loud screech and initially she cringed from the sound and before she could try again long pale fingers touched her hand, pulling away the bow from the strings. She had jerked away almost violently, her heart doing summersaults in her chest. There he stood, his elegant beauty, leaning down watching her with a pair of cold eyes behind a wire-framed pair of glasses.

She had had the urge to faint staring at him, though somehow managed to keep what was left of her composure. When he spoke he didn't sound angry, he wasn't cruel, but he spoke just as coldly as those beautiful ambers eyes looked at her so when he had finished speaking she was still caught up in his sudden appearance.

"I asked you a question," his baritone voice was demanding but more gentle than she had guessed it to be. "Are you mentally disabled?"

"No," she told him quietly tearing her vision away from him and onto her feet. "No I'm not. I'm sorry I just wanted to lean that's all, honest."

"I will not repeat myself,"

"Rin," she whispered wishing that he couldn't see her cheeks flushing. "My name is Rin."

Sesshomaru gave her a look then, one that she'd only seen a handful of times (purely by accident each time), and that's one of the defining moments she realized that she wanted to be around him as much as possible. His fingers tense around the hand he still held and for a moment Rin thought the world was going to end.

"Come Rin," he spoke, his eyes capturing hers and refusing to permit them to leave.

That's how she'd met Sesshomaru, how everything started and Rin bit down harder on her lower lip. It was then that Sesshomaru decided to be her teacher, her mentor, and all of it was by accident or some cruel hand of fate. Everyday after class when she went to that empty music room he would be waiting for her, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed delicately over his chest and she felt her heart flutter in hers.

He was cold and calculating with his words, with his instructions, and never once did he stop to spare her feelings, but it didn't matter since he was freeing her from a world of disappointment. Rin showed up because she liked having Sesshomaru all to herself, liked the way his eyes would slightly light up in a certain way when she did something that pleased him, and she wanted to see it.

Her fingers blistered and cut to the point that she carried around a pack of band aids just incase the ones she had on fell off or if she bled through them, and that too was acceptable because she got to be with him. The pain was bearable because in return he was giving her something beautiful and it was all she wanted; something beautiful she could call her own. They practiced everyday he was available and on the days that the school was closed they met at his home and only if no one was around to snoop.

Rin had met Sesshomaru's family entirely on accident and they seemed nice enough to her, well, nicer than what she was given, but he seemed disgusted with him. Then again, maybe he was ashamed of being seen with her. She had often wondered if that's what it really was and she'd even asked his half brother once when she stopped him in the hall, yet the boy merely shrugged and walked away.

After six months of endless, torturous practice, Sesshomaru decided that Rin was good enough to play for others so he had her sign up for the music class. The only problem was the required parental signature and she refused to go to Sesshomaru with the little dilemma of hers. The thought of it kept her up at night silently crying and then out of the blue Sesshomaru's half brother was at he side, a cocky smile on his adolescent face telling her to "cheer the fuck up and stop crying".

Whenever it seemed she had a problem that she couldn't' go to Sesshomaru for his little brother was willing to step up toe the plate and save the day if only to keep her tears at bay. It was cute the way he helped out and it was him who always kept his ears out for anything and everything, her personal little bodyguard.

The ringing of her cell phone tore her from her memories and Rin sat down her bow pulling out the device and answering it, the caller ID having told her who it was. "Hey InuYasha,"

"Hey squirt," he never seemed to care that she was older than him, it was all about the height and that was something she was definitely lacking. "Miroku and I have everything set up."

"Thank you," she told him sincerely, beginning to feel the tears welling up in her eyes.

"You know you can always changed your mind," InuYasha's voice was soft like she was a beaten child and it almost wrenched a sob from her throat because in ways that's exactly what she was. "No one will blame you."

"I know," Rin whispered brokenly, wiping away the moisture that slipped down her face. "But I can't stay here any longer and you know it. I'm doing what's best for me, I can't stay and let it crush me InuYasha."

She heard him sigh and she wished that he was wrong, but not this time. Rin tried not to let herself get sucked back into her past, tried not thinking about how she used to watch Sesshomaru from her place on stage at her recitals. How he came to almost all of them without fail, or at least before work took him more and more away from her and InuYasha would be sitting in the front row, a digital camera in his hand watching her and adding in some of his own commentary with each missed performance.

Rin didn't want to think about that day after she turned seventeen living at home with her parents having become too much to bear and she wound up standing at Sesshomaru's front door completely soaked from the rain. The way he looked at her secretly knowing that even though it was heavily raining he could see her tears as plain as day. It hurt, but she remembered the way he was so warm despite his icy exterior as he held her in his arms, his baritone voice whispering comforting words into her ear.

Then there was that one-day, the one she knew that she'd never be allowed to forget. He'd given her the cello that she'd been playing the first day they met, the same cello he'd once played as a youngster and once again Sesshomaru had stolen her breath away. Of course she'd known that there was a perfectly good explanation why he'd been there that day, but not once had it crossed her mind that he used to play, even if it had been forced by his parents.

It explained why he didn't mind her crowding his studio apartment with her belongings. Or why he relaxed more when she stayed up late to practice, his eyes flickering with beauty and peace as her fingers guided the bow across the strings urging out the magic he gave to her. Sesshomaru was giving her a piece of himself that she had never seen before and she'd fallen deeper and ever so deeper in love with him.

They worked well together, like a well-oiled machine and Rin was having the time of her life. She hadn't known that happiness could feel so good and her friends complimented the way she sparkled. These new feelings, the wonderful beginning Sesshomaru brought her to also brought her things she never knew were possible.

It brought her closer to her friends, to who she wanted to be, and oddly enough it brought her Kohaku. Kohaku was a big bundle of joy that before moving into Sesshomaru's home would have easily overwhelmed her heart. He was the kind of guy girls searched for and often overlooked and he was the kind of friend she needed. InuYasha often compared Kohaku to a golden retriever and it wasn't because he was blond because that's just who he was, ever so faithful.

For an eighteen year old he had freckles dusted across the bridge of his nose only like a small boy should have, his shaggy black hair tied up in a tight ponytail (though he always had wisps of black obscuring his vision). His smile was lopsided and goofy and when around him, Rin couldn't help but smile. The only sad thing was that like most girls, Rin overlooked him, not because she was looking for Mr. Right, but because she believed she found him already, she thought her Sesshomaru was him.

She remembered watching happily as both InuYasha and Kohaku graduated, then sadly as they both left her college bound and ready to explore the world. She had stayed up late that night playing sad and depressing songs she knew by heart in the darkness until Sesshomaru came home only to watch her break down into a million pieces. There were no answers to why she was so upset besides the harsh fact that she didn't want either of them to leave her because it meant that things were changing.

It meant that soon Sesshomaru would expect her to finally leave him too and she didn't want that. Rin didn't want to think of her life without Sesshomaru, but deep down she knew she was holding him back. He'd never once shown any interest in her, never gave her any signs that she was different than al the rest. She wanted to be with him forever, but not that way she'd always been, she wanted him to love her as much as she did him.

Thinking that way only made it worse she reminded herself, yet then again she was only a human girl after all. She didn't want to make herself bitter, didn't want to dwell, but what else was there to do but move on and there was no way she was entirely ready to do that. The only thing she could think to do was remember everything, hoping that there was something she missed, something that would save her from jumping off the edge with no safety net to catch her.

Rin didn't dare want to believe that the turmoil she was now in could have been avoided if she were mentally stronger, yet the self-damaging thoughts only grew in size. That night when she sullenly played her feelings out in the darkness she tried keeping herself from crying; after all, she could still see Kohaku and InuYasha on weekends and hear their voices from a phone, though the honest truth was that she didn't want to be alone.

It had been almost forever and a day since she felt the suffocating pull of bitter loneliness and it was beginning to swallow her whole. Hours in the darkness, no companion but her hushed tears, drowned out by the soft wailing of her precious cello. If she stayed this way she didn't know how she was going to get through it, yet she knew that no matter what she'd have to.

Her ears hadn't been sensitive enough to hear the steady clip-clop of dress shoes as they neared the front door, but the click of the lock being undone jerked her out of her trance, the bow hitting the wrong note on a string throwing off the direction of the song in her heart. However, she kept going on as if it hadn't happened, not letting something so tiny trip her up. Bright light crept in as the door opened and his voice called to her and though she wanted to call out in return, she closed her eyes and kept going.

"Rin?" She felt the darkness lighten to a dull gray behind her eyelids.

"Rin!" A firm hand shook her shoulder throwing her once again into reality and it shook her down to her very core. "Hey are you okay?"

She sighed heavily wiping the silent tears from her eyes, she'd been so caught up in her past that she hadn't realized she'd been crying. It had taken her a few moments to gather her bearings enough that she was more focused, though it only helped a little. Kohaku stared at her, concern filling his deep chocolate eyes and it warmed her heart a smidge. With everything said and done it was Kohaku who was there for her, always waiting and she was thankful that she had him.

"Yeah sorry," she apologized with a wave of her hand. "I just spaced off. Let's do this."

"Are you sure?" He asked standing behind the camera and turning it on. "It looked like you were lost… We don't have to do this Rin, we can just go."

She wanted to yell feeling her anger rise but she bit it back and sighed heavily yet again giving Kohaku the look that immediately had him looking away. "I have to be--" she said coldly, "--It won't take long and then we'll go, I promise."

Kohaku waited a moment before giving Rin her cue and when the red light caught her eyes she lowered her eyes and began. It was almost an alien sound to her as the sweet sound danced around them, the soft melody sad and to a point depressing. She didn't want to look up because she knew Kohaku would be watching her, hopelessly staring and judging her as she poured out her boarded up heartache.

Her music was the key to her soul and she was unlocking it all and exposing the naked truth that she didn't dare show freely. The song was nothing more than her put to notes and chords and all of it in it entirety had been written for Sesshomaru. She waited for it to come, the overwhelming feeling building in her stomach and when it did she opened her mouth and let it spill out.

She didn't have the talent to be a decent singer, didn't have the discipline or the vocal ranged so she kept it soft and easy, low and almost in a whisper, though loud enough for the words to be trapped inside the recorder. It made her want to cry, the meaning of each sentence, all of the truth that opened her up and she heard her voice tremble as she continued.

It was devastating the way she desired Sesshomaru's touch, the way she could feel the warmth of his fingertips touching her bare skin like it happened only yesterday. His lips hard and demanding against her own as he took everything he wanted from her and more. It had become a burning need that had been set aflame by the way he touched her, claimed her with his rough-gentleness, and now it was simmering deep within her body waiting for it to be once again released from its confines. The more she thought of him was enough to send chills up her spine, his incoherent whispered words etched into her head with an ice pick with the way he completed her -- filled her with his seemingly unending desire and undoing all of her barricades and breaking them down to powder.

The cello cried all of Rin's frustrations, sang away the pain and the pleasure that came with it and represented the way that she always felt but could never display as freely as she'd always wanted to. Her husky voice helped it seem all too surreal, too planned out; however, the words were purely impromptu and she wasn't expecting it to hit her like a tone of bricks. They were words she would never write down, words that belonged to Sesshomaru and him alone and he would get them; Kohaku was only an unlucky observer in Rin's anguish.

The melody rode up to its climax, throwing her into a frenzy of rushed and mixed emotions, of everything she'd been feeling since the night Sesshomaru introduced her to the more risqué part of love; the rise and fall of passion she never thought could be possible with Sesshomaru. He showed her passion that came from a person's soul and could be shared intimately with another, he gave her a way to express herself physically to him. The only problem was that after it all she wished a little that he hadn't. It had been four long and horribly miserable months since that brief moment of pure happiness and though she wouldn't want to trade it, there were doubts in her head that refused to go away.

It was obvious now that Sesshomaru did not love her the way she wanted, obvious because the following morning he was nowhere to be found, all of his luggage from his home coming long gone and it destroyed her. She couldn't waste anymore of her time crying on Kohaku's shoulder wondering why the man who offered her the world, why the man who gave her everything couldn't give her the one thing he desired most. Why couldn't he give her love?

The song eventually ended, the ringing of the final notes thick in the air and her throat dry and hoarse from her singing and she was left with the unnerving silence. She licked her lips before looking up into the still recording camera, avoiding the need to gaze up at Kohaku to make sure she wasn't crying without the weakness of reaching to feel. Rin needed to be strong enough to do this or else there was no way she'd be able to move on with her life. She needed to gather what strength she had left to say goodbye to something she couldn't' spend the rest of her life waiting around for. It was now or never and she knew she'd be empty either way.

"I'm sorry Sesshomaru," she said resisting the urge to bite down on her lower lip. "I have to go now, please just let me be."

Tears threatened to fall this time, fighting her harder than they had before and she nodded to Kohaku waiting until the red light faded off before putting her precious cello and its bow back into their case, tiny droplets of moisture splashing onto the polished wood like rain. A gut-wrenching sob lunged from her throat and she covered her mouth with her hand trying to catch it only for a pair of strong arms to pull her forward and onto a lean and sturdy chest. Kohaku's words were gentle and comforting, his hand rubbing her back in smooth circles and for the first time in four months she was beginning to feel better.

"It's okay Rin," he told her, his breath hot against her neck as he leaned down to zip up her cello's case. "It'll be alright. I'll help you get through this… shhh, it's okay."

He held Rin tightly in his arms for what seemed like forever, merely holding her and nothing more as she cried out the newest wave of tears. Everything else was ready, all there was left was Rin and he didn't want to leave her, not in her current emotional state. When her tears finally subsided running completely dry his shirt was soaked, yet he offered her a small smile, wiped away the remnants of her tears and waited for her blue eyes to meet his.

"It's about that time," he told her climbing to his feet. "Are you ready?"

Sniffling Rin nodded accepting Kohaku's offered hand and getting onto her feet. She had expected her legs to be wobbly like jello and they weren't, instead it sobered her up to where she was supposed to be. "Y-yeah I'm ready."

Rin didn't glance back as Kohaku led her out of the studio, his warm hand still laced over hers. She didn't have the heart to spare another and no one was blaming her and if they did, they were idiots. All she had to do was keep telling herself that her life was only beginning and that things would get better. She had college to look forward to and Kohaku would be with her the entire way. The hard part was knowing that she was walking away from everything she'd known, that this time it wasn't Sesshomaru leaving her, but Rin leaving him.

-The End-

E/N: Well this story wasn't really happy, but I thought of it and I figured that any story happy or sad if Rin and Sesshomaru centric could go here! Lol I'm also working on a companion piece to my one-shot "Don't Close Your Eyes", which is not located here with these short stories…

If you have yet to read it, mosey on down and do so… Also working on a few more short stories and new chapters to my other long-term ones. As always, please leave a review! They are always appreciated.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Disclaimer: Don't own jack-s***! That means nothing here is mine...**_

_ I was thuroughly surprised I finished this as quickly as I did. Had some home-disasters that apparently fueled this! Crazy stuff. This is for my msn buddy Rochelle, because she get me the mojo I needed to finish this. ALSO the song that inspired this short is HIGHLY recommended to be listened to while reading this, it's beautiful. XD_

_** A First Time For Everything**_

_** Note to God --**_Charice Pempengco

By Miztikal-Dragon

There weren't many things to consider as an orphan, no wondering when family would come see you because they wouldn't, no worrying about being hungry since that was a constant state of being, no hoping for kindness because people couldn't give it freely and though it looked horrible she knew that despite everything she would be okay. She already knew that it wasn't kindness that allowed her to live in the small village she'd been born to, it was pity. Pity because she had been forced to watch as her entire family was carelessly slaughtered by eager bandits and that was it.

None of the villagers cared whether she lived or died, she was worthless, penniless and useless. She figured give or take a year or two the villagers would have sent her on her way into the unknown; after all, they wouldn't want the responsibility of taking care of her, no-not when it had been her family that caused the bandits to attack. God cursed a man with a beautiful wife, cursed a man who couldn't protect what was his and God had cursed her for being born out of her parent's ignorance, for daring to live.

She wouldn't lie and say that all of the villagers were heartless, most were, but few selective men and women who pitied her would often allow her the leftover garbage of their dinner, torn and old clothing that wouldn't pass off as wearable on anyone else; however, she took what she was given and she did as she was taught--with a smile.

Nothing was too good for her and for the hundredth time she bowed low and gave the man in front of her a small smile. The villagers had decided that her current home was unfit for a growing child and took it upon themselves to relocate her. The hovel was a fourth the size of the home her father had built, the straw and leaf roof slanted and merely a foot taller than her measly four-foot-one. The floor was hard dirt that cut the bottoms of her feet, large rocks sticking up randomly and the wood planks they used cracking and worn with old age. It looked ready to collapse on her with the bat of an eyelash and still she smiled and silently thanked the village men.

All of her family's belongings were broken and torn, trash in the villagers eyes and it took her the entire day to cart it all over to her new residence on the outskirts of the village, though thankfully next to a small pond. Some of the 'gently' used cloth that was donated to her was used to strengthen the crumbling wood, in hopes that it would hold her new home together even if for little while. She dug up the rocks, her fingers bruised and bloodied and a nail or two torn off completely and put around her home believing they could plug up any holes that would let wild critters nibble on her enter. The mat she'd been given to sleep on was dirty and had tears and holes in them and she used it as a screen to keep what little heat she could conserve from slipping out and if she was careful, on the extremely cold nights she could manage a small fire-maybe.

They moved her, no doubt to ease their guilt when the table scraps stopped coming and when they no longer wanted to look into the face of a silent beggar-child. It would ease the pain of her existence if they separated themselves from her and she refused them justification when she nodded and thanked them for looking out for her best interest. Even at her age she already knew what the villagers were trying to do, they were hoping she'd leave to save herself or maybe have some demon take mercy on her and end her pathetic life but they wouldn't take it from her with their hands. They'd convinced themselves that what they were doing was the right thing and she desperately wanted to believe that maybe, just maybe it was true.

She prayed for the villagers, asking God to forgive them for their ways, they didn't understand, but she was strong enough for them, she would bare whatever sins they held against her. She prayed that her family had been able to cross over and were happy wherever they were, because she wanted to be with them and when she would meet up with them happiness would fill her. Never once did she ask for more food, more warmth of fire or a caring embrace, all she asked for was the strength and courage to make it through one more day. There had to be a reason for her pain and suffering, had to be a lesson she needed to learn and she would not look a good gift in the mouth.

She waited patiently for a sign, something that would let her know that God had heard her prayers and weeks flew by with nothing but steadily warm nights and edible plants that grew around her hovel. She was thankful for those and spent less and less time in the village and more in the neighboring forest. The sounds were more cheerful and welcoming and she managed, by trial and error, which plants could be eaten and which would make her violently ill and even some small rodents and lizards that were quite tasty after cooked over a small flame. Her time was spent gathering sturdier wood that she could use as reinforcement for her home, better leaves and grass that would protect her from rain and cold weather and even blankets if she could only learn to weave properly.

And then one day the forest didn't feel welcoming anymore. The air was thick and every living creature was silent and unmoving, and though her instincts cautioned her to do the same, she wandered towards the cause of it. There had been a sound, one she couldn't name that echoed through the trees and woke her from a dead sleep and it caught her curiosity. She traveled farther than she would have normally, deeper into the forest until she came out near the other side, the trees thinned out and the grass and bushes untamed and growing like fungus.

She crept slowly, cautiously so that her feet didn't make a sound as they pressed into the ground below her. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest, fighting against her ribs and she gripped the long bamboo pot which held drinkable water inside. Whatever it was that had the forest on edge was beginning to scare her and she bit down on her lower lip catching the silver amongst lush green. Ever so carefully she continued forward, hiding her body behind large tree trunks or overgrown bushes until she was close enough to take in the sight in front of her.

It was a man, she deduced, her eyes widening slightly. His long lean body was draped in front of a tree trunk, his expensive clothes ripped and torn and even covered in blood. At first glance she wondered if he was dead, though decided against it catching his loud gasping for air. He looked to be in a lot of pain, more so than any emotional or physical pain she herself had been put through and pity swelled up in her heart.

Her pity for the creature in front of her dried up and turned into fear as his enormous red eyes swung to her, his entire body tensing and if she dared to think it, a hiss threatening her slipping from his mouth. He was dangerous, a demon no doubt and she clung to the tree to her side hoping that he wasn't somehow going to rip her to shreds. However, he didn't rip her flesh into ribbons, in fact his glare stayed glued to her, his red eyes, bared fangs, and blood tainted lips pulled back into a snarl and though any normal girl would have run, or even fainted--she felt her curiosity taking over.

Gathering what little courage she had, the small girl eased her way out of the shadows, hoping that her slow pace would alert the snarling demon in front of her that she wasn't worth killing. The closer she came, the more she realized how beautiful he was, his pale flesh flushed, his clawed hands digging into his ridiculously long white boa, and the blood from his wounded shoulder staining his garments and hair.

His angry cautious eyes watched every move she made, every breath that left her chest and the fear she felt slowly left her when she kneels at his side, a small glance at where his right hand should have been but only ripped fabric lay. It made her wonder what had happened to this beautiful creature, what happened to his arm? Did he lose it in the fight that brought him to her? She didn't stay locked in her thoughts, no-not with the way he watched her with those ruby colored eyes and she swallowed the lump in her throat and did what her mother had told her to do, she dumped the water she had brought to drink on him.

The beautiful demon in front of her sputtered in shock, the red bleeding from his eyes and fading to molten amber. Amber was better, she told herself tearing the bottom of her kimono and using it as a cloth as she wiped away some of the dried blood and dirt. The tense muscles in his body relaxed as she gently dabbed the damp rag on his neck and she smiled.

She cleaned him as much as he allowed her to and when it began to grow dark she bowed and waved to him before she left. She wasn't strong enough to stay through the night, just like she wasn't strong enough to comfort him with her words because she didn't have any to give. However, she silently hoped that he would understand through her smile that she would be back. If she couldn't give him the strength that he deserved, she would scrounge up what little she did have and give it to him instead.

He was a wounded man, demon or not and she would show him the kindness that no one else could spare for her in hopes that maybe this was her sign from God, maybe this beautiful creature was her lesson in hope. For two days she went back to his side, fresh water for him and when she could manage it, fresh cooked fish and mushrooms and though the first time she had brought it to him he had smacked the large leaf from her hand, sending all her hard work crashing into the dirt she hadn't minded. He was stubborn, strong, and that day he had given her something she hadn't been expecting--his voice.

"…Don't trouble yourself. Human food does nothing for me."

It wasn't a thank you, or anything that would have sufficed for a normal person, but it was a beacon of light in her dark days. It was an acknowledgement of her presence, a hint that he wasn't human and an escape route if she chose to take it, but she couldn't. There was something about the silver hair demon that got to her. It was like even though she could tell she was nothing in his eyes, just a nuisance, he had still found a way to dig his claws into her heart. He was all the company she needed and he welcomed her, even if only in a cold, emotionless way. What he did give her was more than anyone else had since her family's death.

Maybe she was catching the wrong kind of fish for him, maybe that's why he had smacked it away. She wasn't sure if he had eaten at all in days and she desperately wanted to help him heal so she rolled up her tattered kimono and tucked it into her obi and waited until night had settled in before finding her way to the river bank. She was determined to find something that he could eat that she could get her hands on, after all, he was the most important thing in her life and she wanted to protect him.

The water was cold and gooseflesh clung to her skin as she waited for the fish to swim around her without quickly darting away. In all honesty, fishing was not high on her 'able to do' list, not much was, albeit if it would make her wounded demon better she would fish. She didn't know how long she was out in the water, her hands waiting for the right moment to attack, to grab a fish and suffocate it with pure air so she could make it his meal. It was okay to kill if it was for food, she could be forgiven for that.

There was a moment or two where she wanted to give up, fishing was too hard, but when she thought of her demon she couldn't just give up. What would he think of her if she did? Would he be disgusted, would he leave her? That thought scared her more than dying a painful death and she brushed all thoughts of giving up from her mind. If she couldn't be strong enough to be patient and help him then she was a failure and that wasn't something she wanted to be.

Her persistence paid off as a medium sized fish swam in front of her and for a moment pretending she was a strong demon, she lunged for the slippery scaled creature, her nails digging into its gills as she forced it out of the water. It struggled against her hold and she bit down on the bottom of her lip trying to keep it from slipping through her fingers.

"RIN!" She jumped at the yell, her eyes lifting up to see several villagers with torches watching her with angry faces.

Oh no, she thought, this was going to get bad.

"So _**you're**_ the culprit!" Another shouted at her and her heart sunk into her stomach.

Everything after that happened too fast for Rin to fully comprehend it. The ring leader of the mob came after her, his large hands pulling at her, dragging her from the water and making her lose her grip on the fish she caught. A sob worked its way up her throat as she watched the fish swim hastily away from her, the dirt and rocks from the ground cutting her legs as she was dragged from the water.

She didn't have time to sob, or breathe as the group of men closed in on her, their fists and feet colliding with her small body. She couldn't curl up into ball to protect her face, there were too many appendages coming at her, too many fists biting her and hurting her.

"You ungrateful whelp!" She wanted to cry and held it back as they continued to beat her. "Poaching fish from the hatchery for yourself!"

She couldn't tell them that it wasn't for her, that she had been 'poaching' as they claimed for a wounded demon in the forest. If she had been able to speak they would have killed her for helping a demon.

"The village takes care of you because we feel sorry for the little orphan--and this is how you repay us?!" Rin wanted to laugh at the care they showed her as the screaming leader picked her up by the front of her kimono and punched her in the face, her neck aching as her head snapped with the blow.

They were showing their care for her as a tooth was knocked from her mouth, the blood dribbling from her lips and they all continued to show her their 'care' as grown men, continued to hit her--a small child. It almost made her bitter, their care! She wanted to scoff, but she refused to even let them hear her whimper. She would be strong enough to carry the weight of whatever they dished out. She would forgive them because the didn't understand how to show kindness--didn't care enough to show true 'care'.

"Next time we'll kill you!" It was a serious threat, one she should have taken to heart as they tossed her limp body to the ground, her punishment ending.

Her body ached, pain filled her every muscle, every inch of her and she struggled to get to her feet hoping that they wouldn't decide to continue their lashing and kick her to the ground. If they did she did not think she would be strong enough to keep the tears at bay. They hadn't broken any of her bones, she knew that for certain and she bit back a moan of pain as she limped away. She stumbled slowly as she went, barely able to keep herself standing and for a brief moment, she hated all the village men who hurt her.

"Hmph… She's a strange one…" They didn't even bother to keep their comments out of her hearing range. "Not even a whimper.."

What was she supposed to do, thank them for their 'compliments'. Would her making even a sound kept them from punching her? From kicking her?

"She can't help it," well jeez isn't that nice, pick on Rin after we beat her, what lovely pillow talk. "Ever since she watched those bandits slaughter her family…. She's been mute."

They would never let her forget would they? She sighed heavily, noting how it hurt to do such as she hobbled back to her run down home. They always kept the pain fresh in her heart, never let her move on and she was suddenly tired. It didn't matter what she did, because somehow in the end she still felt like a failure. Sleep, she told herself as she laid down in the comforts of her home, sleep would cure these horrible feelings welling up in her heart.

She would pray for God to forgive those men, they didn't know better. She would pray for God to give her the strength that was fleeing and the courage to keep going on. She needed the hope that every pain in her body was justified, that it was all worth it. It wasn't that she was mute by choice, because God had taken her voice in lieu of the gift he would give her later. She would give up everything if it meant that the suffering she felt would vanish and she placed everything she had left in hope of greater things.

Rin didn't sleep well that night and by dawn she was preparing for her long day. Fishing was out, the villagers would be watching her like a ravenous hawk so she did what she could and set a few small traps for rodents and lizards. She didn't want to see her demon empty handed, she had to bring him something, not caring how little it always was. Her left eye had swollen shut and her cheek felt like she had stuffed it full of rocks.

There were bruises, that she was positive about, and given a few days there would be more showing, but her body didn't ache as much as she thought it should have. The anger and bitterness had left her with what little sleep she caught and she couldn't help but smile. Every day was a new day to be thankful for and she wouldn't let anyone keep her spirits down. Her traps were filled, thank heavens, and she killed and cooked her find. A small rat and lizard wasn't much, not when her demon was so much bigger than her and her stomach growled hungrily and mentally she chastised herself for being hungry.

There would be other times for her to eat, she could catch herself something later after she was done with her day. Some berries on her way to see her demon would calm the churning of her stomach and though she was slower than the previous day she marched forward. The only thing she felt bad about was that she could not carry the large leaf with food and the bamboo pot with water. It panged her that she was too weak to take both, yet she merely left the water at her home. It was better to take what she could and not risk dropping her demon's food, she was not going to overdo it and mess up her hard work.

Rin was breathing a little heavier when she finally made it to the clearing, her good eye honing in on silver and not wavering away as she found him. Relief flooded through her, he was still there waiting for her. She felt foolish for thinking that he would abandon her like everyone else had and she shuffled slowly to his side, kneeling close enough to feel the warmth that radiated from his body. Without hesitation she held out her catch to him, her short arms outstretched almost wanting to reach out to him, her heart wishing him to be her anchor, her strength.

"No thank you," He wasn't rude, not even truly cold to her and he looked away from her offering but not with distaste.

She wasn't angry like how the villagers had been when her demon refused her; however, it weighed on her heart heavily and suddenly her offerings to him were too heavy for her small arms to hold. A sigh fell from her lips as she looked down at her offerings, her arms resting on her thighs as she tried to think of something else she could possibly gather for him to eat. This wasn't a failure, it couldn't have been--but merely a tiny set back, it was okay…

"What happened to you face?" His curiosity shocked her and it was like a magnet, her eye forced to search out those pools of amber. "---All right then, don't tell me."

All of her heavy feeling suddenly vanished, vaporized by his voice and she couldn't stop the smile that cracked her aching face. He cared. She felt something bubbling up in her chest, something she remembered coming with laughter, or giggling, and yet neither came, but the feeling was enough to blind her heart with light. He wasn't faking anything, not pitying her or hating her, he truly wanted to know and her spirits soared because this feeling was something she had desperately missed. Rin wanted to hug her demon, to shower him in words, but right now all she could give him was her smile.

Despite wanting to, she didn't stay at her demon's side long. There was a whole day in front of her and she needed to start searching for other types of food that he would like. She didn't know how to go about asking him, not without words, so it was a guessing game. She'd get it right sooner or later and it put a spring in her step as she headed home. She felt brand new, as if the bruises were just a part of her imagination and she was walking on clouds.

It seemed like her demon had made the sky bright and blue, chasing away all the shadows in her path and she felt so happy that she could die from it. Her happiness it seemed however, was not meant to be long lived. As she neared her home the darkness spread and she could hear the sounds of things breaking as she crept closer. Something or someone was in her home. At first she thought it had been one of the villagers pillaging through her things trying to find something to say she stole. It was a horrible thought, reminding her of the bitterness clinging to her, yet it wasn't a villager.

Instead it was a stranger--a man, if the term was used loosely. He was ugly, battle scared and rummaging through her things without a care of what he destroyed. He didn't even give her shock as she appeared in the opening of her home. He merely turned to greet her with an disgusting smile, his large canines bulging from his mouth as if he were some type of dog.

"What?" He snorted. "Is this hovel your home…?"

The screaming of 'wolves' from the villagers stole her attention away from her home intruder and she clutched the wood plank that held her home together as he bumped into her as he fled, the howling of wolves tickling her ears. Dead villagers were everywhere, their blood seeping into the dirt, their flesh being torn from their bodies by the large ravenous wolves that appeared like an army of ants. Rin was frozen in horror as the wolves chased the creature who had been in her home, their sharp jaws sinking into his skin as they forced him to shore and pinned him to the ground.

The villagers continued to scream as another man appeared. He was beautiful too, not like her demon and he terrified her. The wolves growled as the young black haired man approached the ugly pinned creature, a conversation that Rin refused to hear going on and for a moment she thought that if she prayed hard enough for no more blood shed it would come true.

The younger man didn't let that happen. His claws were sharp as they ripped right through the creature's neck, blood flying everywhere, a drop or two landing on her kimono and her face as his head rolled a foot or two away from her feet. She had been lost in the horror, in the fear that she hadn't realized how close it had all been to her and the urge to scream died on her lips as her legs gave out and she fell to her knees.

"..Fool." His voice made her shudder in fear, the pack of wolves closing in on his sides, but not to devour him. Did he control them then? Was he a demon as well? "All right, our work's done. I'm going to head home now."

He was speaking to those blood drenched wolves at his side and Rin's heart skipped a beat. "But you can have your fun with the villagers first."

The remaining villagers screamed in pain, their blood coming down like rain as the wolves hunted them down. Rin couldn't stay there, she couldn't protect them and she hated herself for running the moment the wolves turned their backs on her. She was using them as a sacrifice to keep herself safe and she hated herself for her weakness. They screamed in her stead, died horrible painful deaths as they were ripped apart and all she could do was run away to the comforts of the forest.

The villagers lives were for her to save, there was no way she could have even if she wanted to. That man, he was no human. He controlled those wolves, ordered them to kill the villagers and next they would come for her as well. She prayed for wings, prayed that she could make it to her demon before the wolves turned their teeth on her and hoped--desperately prayed that her demon would save her.

She couldn't cry because the tears would cloud her vision, couldn't slow down because they would catch up that much quicker and she could hear the hungry howls behind her. Rin cursed her short legs and she cursed the villagers men for hurting her and slowing her down. She wanted to scream, wanted to throw up and there was a stitch in her side that made it difficult to breathe, but she pushed herself harder, faster as the pounding of feet, paws echoed behind her. She couldn't give up now, she couldn't fail because if she did she would die and that wasn't something she wanted to do.

_'Almost there,' _she told herself as she gasped for breath. _'Please God, give me the strength, I'm almost there. Please save me.. Help me, Please--'_

Her foot hit a stray root and she stumbled, her legs giving out on her as the wolves came for her. She couldn't keep herself running and fell, her arms flying out in front of her trying to use it as a way to spring herself back up, but the wolves were too fast. Teeth clamped down on her shoulder and enormous paws pushed down on her back and she gasped as pain ripped through her entire body. She didn't scream, didn't cry out, she merely slipped into the darkness and everything was gone.

Death, it was so final and she wasn't hurting anymore. It was empty and lonely and dark and Rin waited for something. Had all those nights and days she spent praying to God just blind hopes? Was he going to save her and bring her to her family? What was going to happen to her now? Was this her punishment for not being strong enough? For not trying to save the villagers? Didn't her good deeds outweigh her bad ones or were her bad ones just too horrible to overlook? She was sorry-oh God, she was so sorry, she just wanted to live. Rin just wanted to be with her demon, her beautiful amber eyed demon.

The darkness lightened suddenly and she was swept up in a familiar warmth, but instead of just a little she was entirely encased in it. She wasn't dead? Her entire body pulsed and she felt the light pricks of claws on her left shoulder, the pain was still non existent and she felt lost. Forcing open her eyes, she waited patiently for the blurry vision to clear and when it did she felt her heart skip a beat. Long silver hair fell over her, the soft tresses caressing her and those amber eyes she wished for watched her, hidden emotion swirling with such dept in those beautiful orbs.

"What?!" A voice squawked like a chicken, loud and annoying. "She's… Alive again?!"

So she had died then? Did her demon save her? How was it possible? "…L-Lord Sesshomaru? Did you save that maiden with the Tenseiga…?!"

Lord Sesshomaru? Was that her demon's name then? It was a wonderful name for him. He had saved her then, brought her back from the dead somehow and he had given her another chance. Maybe she had been right all along, Sesshomaru was her gift from God, her savior, her everything and she was eternally grateful to him. His hand tightened its hold on her, pushing her close to his chest as he rose to his feet, he was carrying her.

The muscles in his chest tensed, yet not by carrying her with his only arm, no--Rin head rested gently on his shoulder, her small and blood-dirtied hand clutching his expensive clothes and pulling him closer to her. He paused for a moment before she felt him relax and she decided then that she would do anything for Sesshomaru. She would be strong enough to make him proud of her, she would be strong enough to voice her appreciation to him. She would show him how much she loved him because with out her Sesshomaru there would be no Rin.

"Come Jaken," She would become his everything and never leave him, her Lord Sesshomaru.

The End

_** E/N:**__ GAH! Volume 14 of the manga is my reference for this little goody. I've been feeling kind of down lately, so I'm glad I got this out. I'm working on another little short called "Better Sorry than Safe", hoping that will be up later today, no promises though.... PLEASE REVIEW! _


	11. Chapter 11

_** Disclaimer: I sadly don't own anything. Not even my sanity.**_

_** WARNINGS: Bad Language, Adult situations, my horrible version of comedy, OOC-ness, and maybe a crazy pairing? YOU DECIDE! lol**_

_** A First Time For Everything**_

___**Better Sorry Than Safe --Halestorm**_

_ By Miztikal-Dragon_

_** I can't even think of one good reason**_

_** Why I'm always thinking about leaving**_

_** It's not like everything's so horrible.**_

This was so frustrating, the late nights, endless cups of coffee and nothing to show for it but hundreds of crumpled pieces of paper, two broken pencils and a pair of raccoon eyes. Her time was slowly running out from between her fingertips and still she had nothing to run with. Why was it that heartbreak was so much more painful to write about while experiencing it than when merely thinking of the possibility? Aching fingers ran through long strands of onyx hair and a heavy sigh drooped her shoulders lower than ever, she couldn't do it.

Never before had it been such a chore to do something she loved so much, but now it was a different story and she cursed under her breath as she added to her still steadily growing pile of discarded paper. Love was the easiest, it came to her like breathing and yet now all she could think about was how much she hated how easy it was. She didn't want love, not now when she hated it so much for the mess it always got her in and the urge for a stiff drink or two was almost too tempting to ignore.

Drinking was tempting, but she would find no answers at the bottom of a bottle, at least not the answers that she wanted. Another heavy sigh erupted from her lips and instead of trying to force herself to think, she shoved herself away from the large desk and away from the maddening mission she could not complete in her state. She needed to get out and get some air, needed space to breathe and grabbing the denim jacket from the chair by her door she fled from her cramped studio apartment.

The air was cold on her exposed skin and it stole away the warmth that had been locked inside her. The winter months were the worst in her eyes, as if the snow and the rain trapped her inspiration in an impenetrable fortress of ice until the spring and summer sun melted it away. She was at a loss for words, for self-expression and this time she didn't only curse herself, but her tormenter.

How many months had it been since she had come up with something remotely useable? Something that felt like a work of art from her soul that carried her message perfectly clear? How many months had it been since the feel of failure latched onto her back like some stubborn monkey and refused to release its hold? Well however long it was, it was too long and her long fingers dug angrily into her pocket in search of the pack of cigarettes she'd been working on since the day before.

She reminded herself as she brought the smooth filter to her lips and lit the end with her favorite lighter that it wasn't heartbreak that she was trying to write down. It wasn't heartbreak because that meant that there had been a heart to break other than her own and when she thought about it, her heart wasn't aching, it didn't even smart. Her relationship had started with a blur of teenaged emotions, burning fire and passion that she should have known better to believe wouldn't be smothered and now there weren't even the ashes to remind her of a reason to stay.

Kohaku, the same sounded pretty on her lips and it was a name she had known for the better part of her life. After all the running joke was that there wasn't such a thing of Rin without Kohaku, almost like Adam and Eve, minus the religion of course. In the beginning everything had been filled with sunshine and roses, no clouds in sight and she had hoped, like the naïve child she had been that it would never end; however the clouds had snuck up on her and encased her world in night.

_** We've been together for a few years now**_

_** And you know all my ins and outs**_

_** But everything's way too comfortable **_

_** From the moment I wake I plan my escape**_

Had she grown too comfortable with the love she had felt for Kohaku? And if so then love wasn't what she had felt with the older boy and yet that thought didn't bother her as much as it should have. Sure Kohaku had given her everything she could have wanted and some she thought wasn't tangible, but with her realization and change of heart he had taken it all away. He could be so childish sometimes, so infuriating that she wanted to rip the hair out of his head, but that was the pot calling the kettle black and when the rage faded she let him take it.

She didn't love him, not when he was trying to hold her back in the end, trying to keep her hidden and she would not waste her talent nor the chance to fly to appease him. Inhaling the thick smoke into her lungs, she welcomed the nicotine into her, waiting for it to calm the nerves that were becoming jittery from the unneeded stress. The smoke plumed out in front of her face as she tried focusing on the present when her mind kept dragging her back to the past, she didn't want to see it, not now when she had other things to think about.

Her life sounded like one big soap opera or some horribly written fan fiction on the internet that she read when inspiration had bled her dry. Life wasn't about building a band with the boy you cared for, wasn't about the music and the lyrics or the guitars and drum sets, it was supposed to be about things that really happened and she laughed at herself for wishing for something different. It sounded so stupid, so cliché and yet here she was caught up completely in the middle of some sad excuse for a movie, for some sappy story that played like a broken record and yet it couldn't be helped, not when it was the truth.

She and Kohaku had built a band together, a work in progress one albeit, but together they sounded harmonious. Of course it went without saying that it was Kohaku that made it all possible because she couldn't even organize her utensil drawer properly and when it had fallen apart, she was the only thing discarded. It was true that vocalists were easy to come by, anyone could sing a song, even a shitty song and it hurt when she had been axed out.

That only resolved her to be better than Kohaku and honestly he could have his harmonious sound, she wanted something that hard more heart than that, something that screamed Rin. She wanted something real. It goes without saying that the process of finding new band mates was worse than puling teeth. She had to listen to hours, days, weeks of horrible playing, cocky males--and females and decide which ones were the sound she was looking for.

She had been close to giving up, barely kept back tears waging war inside her and telling her that this was the end of her. Then, like some foreshadowing beacon of white light and it made her smile. The boy wasn't perfect, he was far from it, yet he was a sound she could work with. It was only a coincidental plus that she had known him personally and that while her tour in high school he had spent countless hours learning and trying to play with her and Kohaku.

Maybe picking him was a little side dish of revenge against Kohaku, she already knew it was and yet it only strengthened her resolve. The vibrant red hair was something she thought was cute and his green eyes sparkled like curious emeralds and even she had to admit that Shippo could take her breath away. Whether or not it was sexual she hadn't decided yet; however, Shippo could grow up to be a heartbreaker and she wanted to come along for the ride.

_** I'm not scared**_

_** 'Cause I know there's something out **_

_** there waiting for me**_

_** And I swear that I'll find it someday, just**_

_** wait and see**_

Rin wasn't always too sure what was going on now only that practice was harder than it had ever been before and that her inspiration had fled from her. She tried everything besides seeing Kohaku to try and rekindle the flame and that wasn't something she wasn't allowing to happen. She didn't have time for his angry words, vicious character stabs or his judging eyes. Kohaku was becoming everything she hated about love. Together everything had been routine and predictable and she was tired of the same old thing. Rin wanted excitement and adventure, something that had disappeared with the said boy and now she was on a quest to find it again.

Was it the reasoning behind why she was currently 'seeing' Shippo? She had no idea, but the younger boy gave her something to look forward to. They both knew it wasn't love, or anything serious--they agreed that it was purely friendship but there was still something missing. Now she wasn't saying that the nineteen year old wasn't good, because he was, and her mind shut down when his fingers touched her or when his copied cocky smirk watched her and she guessed for now that it was good enough.

With one last drag of her cigarette, she flicked the filter to the ground and stomped on it, her eyebrows drawing together in a frown. There had to be a way to get herself out of the writer's block and into streaming lyrics and sound. Gathering her scattered thoughts, Rin forced herself to simply stop and stop worrying, she needed to relax. She stretched her arms over her head trying to relax the tired muscles and she rolled her neck trying to wash out the thoughts, trying to empty her brain of anything negative.

Rin decided there that what she needed wasn't anything that could be bought or made, what she needed was those nimble fingers, and those puffy lips that teased her and the idea of it made her blood race and her heart speed up. She dug into her pockets for loose change and pulled it out as she neared a close by payphone. A starving artist who could barely put food in her fridge didn't have the money for a cellular phone and though it sucked, she managed without many luxuries.

Slipping a few coins into the pay phone, Rin dialed the number, listening impatiently as the ringing echoed in her ears. What would she do if no one answered? Well she wasn't quite there yet and she bounced from one leg to the other until the light voice jingled in her ear and she smiled.

"Joe's Morgue, you stab we slab," his tone was serious and she laughed. "You kill, we chill."

"Hey Shippo what are your plans for tonight?" She didn't want to chew on her lower lip but she couldn't break herself of the habit.

"Am I coming over to your place with take out and a movie?" Shippo's voice went a few octaves lower, almost husky and breathless and she felt the chills run up her spine in anticipation. He was a mind reader.

"How fast can you get here?" Rin switched the receiver from one ear to the other, her eyebrow raising curiously even though she knew he couldn't see it.

"Ten minutes if I speed," he replied eagerly. "I've already got the food."

Another laugh escaped her lips and she swore she could hear him swallowing through the phone. "See you when you get here."

It was a total of twenty minutes before Shippo showed up and Rin couldn't help but laugh at his disheveled appearance. He held a grocery bag filled with Chinese food in one hand and the strap of the backpack slung over his shoulder in the other and she bit down on her lower lip as he heeled the door closed, Shippo's green eyes watching her like a stalking lion. His backpack was tossed to the floor, the food set down on the coffee table and when his hands were free he pounced.

Her gasp was loud as his mouth and hands trailed her body, the long slender fingers slipping underneath her shirt and teasing her. Her body ached with carnal need, almost painfully. Shippo was good at making her forget as he unbuttoned her pants, his length pressed firmly against her as he guided her to the futon off to the corner. She felt defenseless and yet beautiful as he worshiped her, those dangerous fingers slipped underneath the cotton of her panties and dipping into her heat. He was all fire, no ice and had a desperate way of taking her and she felt so many emotions at once as he gasped for breath in her ear, gibberish falling from his lips as she arched into his chest.

If someone told her six months ago that she would be inviting Shippo into her home for sex and food she would have laughed in their face and called them a liar, but now, well, now he was apart of the healing process and god was it good!

_** I don't care that you call me crazy  
**_

_** I can't stay 'cause I need room to breathe  
**_

_** There's nothing left to say, better sorry than safe**_

She had to admit, being around Shippo was so easy that it scared her sometimes. He could laugh at anything and he never tired being anything besides himself. There was no sugar-coating things, no treading on thin ice, he didn't like to hurt her feelings and didn't when he could, but he called "Shenanigans" when it needed to be called and she liked that about him. Grant it, what she felt for him was nothing like she had felt with Kohaku, it wasn't love, and lust, well that didn't happen enough to call it that just yet, but if she had to put a label on it, then she would have to say 'friend's with benefits'.

He was the friend that she could sleep with and still be friends with in the morning and right now that's what she desperately needed. They ate when hunger was unavoidable, watched the movie he brought over and laughed. She never quite got his quirk for comedies, but he always brought over what she was craving and if zombies were what she was craving, she'd leave it to him to deliver them.

She was determined to spend her weekend naked and so far everything was going as planned. When the urge to write hit her, she would grab the pen and paper and Shippo would get the guitars and sit next to her waiting for his cue and together they pieced together words and gibberish until it was perfect. Rin was reinventing herself, becoming a butterfly and she wanted it to be good because the new her would be something she wanted to be. It was one-hundred percent her feelings, nothing bottled in. One song became two, and two led to four and before the night was over she was surprised with how comfortable she became.

Shippo was napping on the couch, his long arms outstretch on the arm and back, his head bent back and he was snoring softly. It was a cute sight, one that she would have liked to catch on camera if it hadn't been hindered by him being completely undressed. The guitar she held covered her nudity and smiling to herself she set it to the side, silently crawling to where Shippo was sleeping unsuspectingly.

Her eager hands traveled slowly from his calves to his thighs, jerking him into consciousness and he swore under his breath only to gasp as she touched him, her chest sliding over him as she stole a kiss from his slightly parted slips. He made her feel powerful, in control when she felt everything but and he groaned as she settled herself onto his lap. His fingertips were calloused as they traveled down her heated flesh, his need filling her and pushing her to where she wanted to be.

He moaned into her mouth as they rocked, his hands guiding her and her nails dug into shoulders as she offered him more. She was drowning in the ecstasy, feeding on it like it was air and as his eager kisses trailed down the column of her neck she bit on her lip hard enough to bleed as pleasure shot through her.

"RIN!" The sudden pounding on her door zapped away the high-feeling coursing through her veins and she hissed at the intruder. Of all the times!

"Let him bang," Shippo whispered against her skin, his tongue sweeping out over her nipple. "He'll eventually go away. You're busy."

"Sh-Shippo," she tried to pull away and his hands held tight, his body thrusting into her and she gasped loudly as her mind went blank.

"I KNOW YOU'RE THERE!" It was like nails on a chalk board and she was getting tired of it real fast. "ANSWER ME RIN!"

Shippo bit the nipple he'd been teasing and Rin growled loud enough to be heard by both men. This was not how she wanted to spend her weekend, but if the boy on the other side of the door did not want to get the picture, well then she was just going to have to draw it out for him. She didn't want to hurt him more than she already had, but sometimes it took many blows to get the point across and she wasn't going to soften it right now.

"Move from this spot and I'll throw you out," Rin hissed under her breath as she pulled away from Shippo.

The desire she had felt was now completely gone, but god damn it she was going to finish what she started! She didn't waste her time finding a robe or something to cover up with, if he was so insistent she come to the door, then she would and it was only her anger that kept her this stubborn.

"What the fuck you do want I'm busy!" She swung open the door surprising the boy on the other end, his brown eyes widening in horror and embarrassment at Rin's lack of dress. "What Kohaku? What is so important that you had to bang and scream on my door?"

"Y-You're naked," he stuttered, his cheeks flushing red as he tried in vain to hide her nudity from people outside her studio. "Are you crazy?

"I'm a lot of things," she told him brushing his hands away from her. "What do you want?"

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his arms hanging uselessly at his side. "I want to talk to you… I miss you, whatever is wrong we can work it out."

"I don't want to talk anymore Kohaku," she told him crossing her arms over her chest stubbornly. "There is nothing to talk about, there is nothing to work out. I'm done, end of story. Now go I'm busy."

"Busy?" He glared at her now, his hands clenched into fists and it must have dawned on him why exactly she was 'busy. "With who?"

Rin tried keeping him from peering into her place, but his hand pushed her to the side and Shippo sheepishly grinned and waved to the trembling Kohaku. "Sh-Shippo? You're sleeping with Shippo?"

"That is none of your business!" Rin growled grabbing the collar of Kohaku's shirt and forcing him out of her studio. The boy stumbled and fell against the wall behind him, his judging brown eyes hating her and she wanted to throw things at him for being so stupid. "Go away."

"Y-You whore!" Kohaku spat getting to his feet, straightening his clothing out and stomping away from her like a pouting child.

"Sticks and stones!" She screamed at his back before slamming her door shut and stomping herself onto the couch and plopping down, her arms crossed angrily yet again over her chest.

It wasn't true, the sticks and stones, because his words cut her deeper than she thought they could and she fought back the tears trying to fall. She wouldn't cry over this, not over him because it just wasn't fair! She didn't notice Shippo had gotten off the couch until the sound of her deadbolt being turned caught her attention. This totally sucked and now she wasn't in a mood to do anything besides sulk.

"Come on," Shippo pulled Rin to her feet, a small smile on his face. "Let's get you into a nice hot shower and then some leftovers in your stomach. I think you need pillow talk."

"Thank you," she whispered giving up on the fight against not crying, it was a waste of effort. "Thank you Shippo."

_** Sometimes I wish you cheated on me  
**_

_** Then leavin' here would be so easy  
**_

_** It's time to take a chance and give you up  
**_

_** In the morning I'll wake and make my escape**_

There was no fooling around after that and the both of them knew as much. Instead, Rin threw herself into the band and making it better. She would show Kohaku that he had no idea he what he was talking about, that she was who she wanted and nobody else. She wasn't a whore, she wasn't some slut, she was Rin and a young, responsible adult who made her own decisions.

She practiced and tweaked her lyrics with a new found vengeance and in the next couple weeks she hardly slept. She had a lot that needed to be done and little time to do it in and if she didn't get everything right then she feared she'd never accomplish what she wanted. Her and Shippo had fallen back into the 'just friends' category and he seemed perfectly fine with it. In fact, he had begun dating some girl from his college and it made Rin feeling warm and tingling in her stomach that he was growing up, even if only a little.

The weeks were closing in on Rin, shutting out any free time she had and when it was over she would be able to completely relax and she promised herself that vegging out would be on the menu. The flyer's had been a little on the pricey side and she had worked extra shifts at both jobs to cover the difference. The club had been reserved and when the day came she couldn't help but feel too nervous to do anything shake.

"We'll be fine," Shippo told her as he helped another band mate move the amplifier onto the stage, shooing her off towards the bar. "Go grab a beer and relax. We're ready for this."

Taking his advise, Rin headed towards the bar, her long hair fluttering behind her as she pulled out a stool and plopped down, flagging down the cute bartender for a whiskey sour and a beer. While she tried relaxing, Rin glanced around the club, finding it a little too sophisticated for a normal 'bump and grind' kind of place, but it was nice for a good show. She watched as Shippo and the two other's unloaded the van and set up the small stage, a wistful smile playing on her lips as she took a sip of her beer.

"What brings you here?" A soft baritone voice asked off to her side and she lazily turned her head.

"I'm with the band," she replied taking the man next to her, his long hair plated back into a tight braid, small wisps of silver framing his face. "You?"

"I work here." Tall, mysterious and cute took a drink of the drink in his hand and setting it back down on the counter.

"Isn't drinking on the job bad for your career?" She asked innocently trying to keep herself from getting caught in the man's intense gaze.

"Aren't you a little too old to be a groupie?" He retorted nonchalantly, his lips quirking into a smug grin as she choked on her drink.

"Ugh!" She wiped some of it off her shirt and glared at the man next to her. Well he wasn't so cute anymore. "It's a shame you know, that you're cute until you open your mouth. For such a beautiful face, you have an ugly personality."

_** I'm not scared  
**_

_** 'Cause I know there's something out there waiting for me  
**_

_** And I swear that I'll find it someday, just wait and see**_

His laugh was refreshing and cold at the same time and it had butterflies flapping in her stomach. She couldn't get a break could she? She so was going to kill Shippo for his advice on relaxing because her current company was ruining it all. Groupie? Ha! How rude! She'd show him who was a groupie!

"What are you doing after the show?" She was angry, yet his voice was sexy and not annoying and that made her angrier.

"Not you!" It was a comeback and sucked, royally, however, his musical laughter was back and she quickly finished her beer and paid the bartender. The club was beginning to fill up and Shippo was waving her down from up on the stage. The show must go on after all!

"Be careful with what you promise Rin," oh yeah he definitely oozed sexy and it through off her pout as she was spun around, a pair of lips catching hers in a heated and demanding kiss.

It was like he had thrown gasoline on her while she held a match, instant flames. Her hands grabbed him, pulling his collared shirt as he parted her lips and devoured her, a few hoots and catcalls being thrown at her. He left her breathless and patted her ass as he pulled away, his calculating smirk catching her off guard. Oh this was soooo not fair!

_** I don't care that you call me crazy  
**_

_** I can't stay 'cause I need room to breathe  
**_

_** There's nothing left to say, better sorry than safe**_

Rin stomped her way back to the stage, taking Shippo's hand as he pulled her onto the stage and angrily she grabbed her guitar and cued her band mates to start. The song set up made her grin evilly and she sought out those amber eyes that had insulted her and kissed her silly. She hadn't decided whether or not she wanted to play with him, but she'd let her music decide for her. A part of her wanted it, he felt so good against her, almost perfect but the other part said no, and that was her stubbornness. If she decided yes, then she would make him beg for more, she would be in control and with the screaming of the guitars she laughed. Perfect.

"…Get on your knees and let the games begin…" She was confident and eager and she let it ring with her words.

_** I'm not scared  
**_

_** 'Cause I know there's something out there waiting for me  
**_

_** And I swear that I'll find it someday, just wait and see**_

Rin couldn't believe how everything came together for a wicked first gig. Shippo had laughed at her when she couldn't contain the happy dance begged to come out after the club closed down. She hugged every band member as they loaded up their gear into the van and she promised them all dinner when they were paid.

"That was so awesome!" Shippo yelled as he stretched, his shirt riding up and exposing his stomach.

"Yeah, it was." Souta, that was the drummer's name was, Rin had begun to remember their names, if only barely. "I hope we get to play here again, the crowd was cool."

"Well," Shippo laughed rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "With the way Rin was making out with Sesshomaru, the owner I think we'll be playing here exclusively."

"What?!" Rin squawked shrilly. "I was not--"

"Shoo children," a familiar voice barked close to Rin's ear and she jumped as a pair of arms trapped her between them and the desk she had been leaning again. "The adults need to have a talk."

If her life had been come cartoon then Shippo, Souta, and um--well the third guy would have fit in perfectly with how quickly they fled the small office. She gaped at the display like a drowning fish, her mouth opening and closing like some idiot. She wanted to be outraged, wanted to kick and scream--to break something at being abandoned that she ignored the man staring down at her hungrily.

"Rin," he said and her eyes immediately found his and she was caught. "Kiss me."

She couldn't stop herself from appeasing him, her lips touching his and being swept away as he turned the tide against her. Hell, if this was talking then she didn't mind talking for the rest of the night.

_** I don't care that you call me crazy  
**_

_** I can't stay 'cause I need room to breathe  
**_

_** There's nothing left to say, better sorry than safe  
**_

_** Oh yeah, there's nothing left to say**_

-The beginning-

E/N: This was a little test on characters that I wanted to see if I could do.. SUCCESS! lol Don't know when the next one will be up. I know I've got a few other incomplete shorts I'm sure I could finish up, so maybe in the next few days you'll all get lucky! PLEASE REVIEW.


	12. Chapter 12

_** Disclaimer: I sadly don't own anything. Not even my sanity.**_

___This wasn't something I had planned up, it just hit me as I was listening to this song and I kind of ran with it. It is literally something "hot off the press" as I wrote all of it down in under 5 hours... geeez I'm so slow. This isn't really a sad short, but I still cried. The song "Airplanes", if you can, should really play while reading this, if not, meh, but I heavily suggest it. XD_

_ AAAAAND! lol This chapter is for Lynchee Loving because of the very nice review left for me. I really appreciated them, so thanks. This is for you! XD_

_** A First Time For Everything**_

_** Airplanes (Wish Right Now) -B.o.B**_

_** By Miztikal-Dragon**_

Like most nights as of late, I was feeling restless. The air was colder now that the summer had begun fading into fall, the gentle breeze filling my lungs with clean, fresh air. Spending practically all of my twenty-five years of life wandering around one busy city or another had left me feeling helpless and lost, not to mention a slight case of asthma and a one mind track of the fast lane. So much of my life was spent looking straight forward, no breaks, no stops, no gazing around me and it was one of the few things I could honestly say I regretted.

But being here out in the open, no neighbors for miles, no streetlights, no Wal-Mart's, or fast food chains I felt unsure of myself. There was nothing here with a hustle and bustle way to keep my mind occupied on anything other than myself. Every morning when I looked at myself in the mirror it was the only thing I saw, myself. It was kind of scary at first, being forced to live with myself, no cell phones, no internet, no technology besides electrical appliances like a refrigerator or a toaster, well and maybe the regular telephone, but that was nothing compared to what I had before.

The old house creaked and moaned something horrible some nights, the branches and leaves of old oak trees swishing in the silent wind. Everything that I had before, every materialistic belonging was useless here besides my little MP3 player, and even then I had lost the plug in charger a few days earlier. Every dish I used I had to wash by hand because here there was no such thing as a dishwasher besides my own two hands and though I protested at first, I realized exactly how calming washing dishes, or even hanging laundry out on the line could really be.

All the toxins and poisons I had subjected myself to in the city life were bleeding away, seeping out through my pores and down the drains as I showered. I felt more freer than I had ever been and though some nights I still cried, cried harder than I thought I could, and yet the tears would someday cry themselves out. My bed was large, larger than what could have fit into my tiny one bedroom apartment and was more inviting than anything I had felt since my mother's last embrace. Here in this old house there was no new heartaches, no new pains besides splinters and stubbed toes and I felt as if my soul was healing.

I wondered late at night if I had stepped back into time, into those old westerns and romance novels with those large farm houses, two stories, the old parlor room, large balconies and the smell of home cooking and love. I knew that I wasn't however, because I wasn't decked out in those old-school nightgowns, the one's the buttoned up tightly around women's neck, with the frilly lace and long sleeves. A nightgown like that to me seemed too fake, too not me and I leaned more towards the flannel looking pajama pants that hung on my hips by a drawstring and a white spaghetti strap shirt. There had been a lot of things I chose to give up when I left my life behind me, but my sleepwear wasn't one of them.

It would get colder as the night progressed and smiling softly to myself, I closed the screen door behind me, the wooden floors of the enclosed porch sliding underneath my bare feet. Besides the porch light the only other illumination for me was the bright glowing moon in the sky and the twinkling stars which I had never been able to see before so clearly. Being here, out in the country filled me with firsts I would have never thought about seriously outside a daydream or fantasy and a growing part of me was glad.

As far as my eyes could see all there was, was an outstretch of green. Hills tumbling with long grass farther north, and a few trees, but it was more green grass than anything else. It seemed to go on for miles and if I had been outside during the day there would be cows and horses, and maybe a few other farm animals, but they had been rounded up before the sun had set. There really wasn't much livestock so it hadn't been a difficult job, it was easy and fun now that I had gotten the hang of it and one day I would gather enough courage and run beside the horses; who cared if I couldn't keep up for long.

The ground below my toes was soft and comforting and I sighed heavily, blowing off old stresses and worries from my chest and into the night sky. I was beginning to wonder if I could keep up with this way of life. It seemed too simple, too mundane and easy and with my attention span I didn't want to grow bored and restless with nothing around me besides nature. I'm sure there were things I could find to do, I always managed to get myself into trouble without even blinking, but I had long outgrown my adolescent teenage years and I wanted something more.

The women in town had told me that what I really needed to do was get closer to God, to pray and he would listen and if I was lucky, give me a sign that everything would be okay. They told me to stop by the church for the preacher's sermon and blessing and I remembered smiling, telling them that I would think it over. Truth was, I wasn't too sure I was ready to believe in a higher power, to be turned over to their belief of God when I felt too lost to believe in anything. I had lost too much, hated too long and I really wanted to learn to believe in myself before trying to tackle the question of religion. There had been too many unanswered prayers from my childhood, too many screams to save my love and it drowned any faith that had been kept in my heart. I needed to be reborn.

My feet carried me away from the warmth of the house and down a small hill where a large rock sat waiting for me. I knew that people purchased crazy things on whims and the large boulder like rock had been a purchase that I couldn't wrap my mind around at first, but now, now I understood and I was grateful for it. It was smooth, my pale fingertips caressing the side before I climbed onto the flat surface. It had been a present for me, a strange one, but it made me feel as if I were on a small island on a sea of green staring up into an endless ocean of black and blue.

It was my own personal safe haven, void of any sounds besides the crickets and wind, silence from all the noise and buzzing I ran away from. A place where I didn't have to pretend I was strong, or be anything else besides what I wanted to be at the moment. It made me feel safer than I had felt in a long time and I needed to feel it, longed for it and leaning back I let my eyes gaze up at the stars, my long black hair slipping over my shoulders and falling like strands of night.

Some nights I hated who I was, loathed myself with so much feeling that I wished I could hurt myself, beat myself and squish the ugliness that was me until there was nothing left. Those nights I was unbalanced, truly helpless and only a few things could save me. One of those things had gone sooner than I had ever wanted it to, disappeared like the moon during an eclipse, only it never came back. It had left a hole in me the size of a watermelon, open and gaping, and bleeding like there would never be a tomorrow.

He had taken everything precious away from me when he left, taken away the only reason I had for living and a part of me had hated him as much as I had hated myself for needing him so much. It was a pain I was now learning to live with and it was harder than anything I could ever do, harder than anything I would ever do. I could feel the tears building up, blurring my vision and the stars and as hard as I tried to keep them at bay, with the gentle touch of the wind against my face, those tears slipped free of their cage.

I missed him so much! Even now I couldn't even begin to understand why life was so cruel to me, to take away something I so desperately needed, and the ache in my heart burned. He was the only one who had understood me, helped me be strong and carried the weight that I couldn't when I stumbled. He had been my smile, my happiness, my first love and I had given him my whole heart and when he had left he'd taken it with him. He had been my everything, the reason for my existence and it had taken one wrong move, one second of carelessness, one mistake that took him away from me.

His love had been too good to be true, my one ray of sunshine and never in a million years did I ever think that something so stupid, so tiny could ruin it for me and leave me in an endless world of night. More tears escaped from my eyes, trailing down my cheeks and a sob bubbled up in my throat, I could feel my heart struggle to keep me put together. I hated feeling this lost, this broken and tattered and it only made my tears fall more readily.

I had been told growing up that life wasn't fair, that there were so many twists and turns, so many roads and trails that if I wasn't paying attention would send me into circles I couldn't get out of and I hadn't paid enough attention because now I was turned around I couldn't untangle myself and I felt like I was drowning in my own pain. I knew I had to take it slow, carefully unwind myself and I had to keep going, but I often tripped, stumbled and fell, and now he wasn't there to help me up. He wasn't there for me, to stretch out his hand and laugh at me in a kind, childish way and I hated him for leaving me. Why?

Something cold and wet shook me from my thoughts and glancing down I saw a tiny head of wrinkles. The soft howl to me begging for attention, the cold nose touching the tip of my toes, and carefully I reached for the small puppy, a quivering smile touching my face as awkward paws reached for me like a child. The bloodhound was small now, but one day he would be large from what I was told, large enough that if I really needed a shoulder cry on and couldn't rely on anyone, he would be there for me. It seemed funny relying on a dog when I knew a human, a man should have been beside me, but now I think I was beginning to understand.

The small puppy fit easily in my lap and I held on close to him, my face hiding in the fur of his shoulder blades, my tears lifted away and hidden on the small creature. I was slipping into my heart's darkness, into it's pain and suddenly I didn't want to be in all of this. I wanted to be back in my apartment, with every materialistic thing I cast away. I wanted to be allowed to feel numb and stay in a place where I was comfortable enough to ignore my pain. I didn't want to be forced in seeing myself so lost, so pathetic, I wanted to pretend it was okay and that I was untouchable by this lasting heartache.

"Kohaku," my sob was quiet, but it felt like I was being stabbed repeatedly in my stomach by sharp knives.

I wished that I had never tried to heal, tried running away from everything I knew just so I wouldn't be reminded of him because now it was all I could think about. I wish I hadn't taken up the offer to marry someone I didn't know, to throw away everything on a chance I knew I really didn't want to take and I could feel something clawing at my heart, desperately trying to trap me. I didn't want anyone else besides Kohaku, no one could love me the way he had, I only wanted him back and I couldn't do this. I'm not strong enough to do this, I can't. What was I thinking?

"Rin?" a baritone voice called to me, I barely knew the man it belonged to, didn't know him because I refused to let myself, but he was now my husband.

His strong hand touched my shoulder and another sob worked it's way from my throat. It was warm and comforting, something I should have acknowledged as he stood next to where I sat and I let him pull me against his chest, his chin touching my head. "I just miss him so much!"

"Kohaku?" I could tell I was trembling against him, my entire body shaking from my sobs and I could barely get myself to nod my head as his hand tried comforting me in an awkward way.

He knew all about my past when I showed up on his doorstep, knew everything about me and still he accepted me as damaged goods. He was isolated and alone and he allowed me to be with him, even knowing that I was too broken to do anything else besides exist. He didn't ask questions, didn't expect anything from me other than to wake up in the morning and try to pull my own weight, he let me pull myself back onto my own feet and the only thing he gave me was his last name and a place to stay.

"I understand," he said and I honestly believed he had.

Together we merely existed out in the wide open underneath the stars and the moonlight and he let me grieve to my heart's content. The small puppy in my lap whined and whimpered until he was placed back onto the grass, his loud barks followed by shuffling as he chased down the other puppy patiently waiting on the porch with the old beat up dog that I swore was the ugliest thing I had ever seen.

"Sesshomaru," I whispered brokenly, my fingers clutching his cotton shirt and holding him closer to me than I have ever dared to.

He didn't answer me, though his calloused hands cupped my face, his thumbs wiping away the tears that refused to stop falling. He never said a lot, not a word unless it needed to be said and before I had appreciated the silence, but now it only added to the ache growing in my heart. Sesshomaru, with his oddly colored amber eyes and strangely silver long hair was someone I would have admired from afar as a teenager, he would have been the kind of guy that induced fantasies and daydreams and he was my husband and someone I wasn't sure I give all of myself to.

He deserved someone better than myself, deserved to be happy and with a woman who would give him the sun if he asked and instead he had me, an emotionally crippled child. This wasn't fair to him, any of it and yet he didn't complain about anything, ever. I wasn't sure whether or not I was crying for myself or for him now, but glancing into those swirling pools of amber, my eyes found another pool to suck from and moisture leaked from them.

"P-please forgive me," I didn't know who I was asking for forgiveness as I closed my eyes, but it was important to me as our lips met.

It was funny that I had been married to Sesshomaru for easily six months and yet, this was the first time I had kissed him. His lips were soft and gentle, his fingers winding through my hair and I pulled him towards me, clinging to him as I invited him for more. All of my thoughts went quiet and disappeared leaving me with nothing but the feel of my husband touching me, kissing me and I was suddenly eager for more. When Sesshomaru pulled away we both were panting, his warm breath fanning my face and I struggled to open my eyes, I wasn't supposed to have let this happen.

"Come inside when you're ready," his voice had taken a husky edge, one that demanded not to be ignored and I wanted to push my way back to him, pull those lips into another kiss until all my thoughts died away and all I was left with was him.

I didn't though and merely nodded again, watching him untangle himself from me and head back towards the house. No longer could I feel the warmth I so desperately craved for and my hands tried rubbing away the gooseflesh running up my arms. I sat there in solitude for a few minutes longer before wiping away the rest of my tears and sliding off my rock. Sesshomaru had given me my safe haven, my place of reflection and though I didn't think I could manage to smile, it warmed my heart a little.

He had given me more than I had realized as I walked back to my home, correction, our home and I bit down on my lip as I closed the porch door, and then the front door, locking it behind me. It may have been a house practically in the middle of nowhere, but it didn't mean that no one could break in and it was no longer the age of innocence, no one left their doors unlocked unless they were asking for trouble. I turned off all the lights as I went by, my legs carrying me up the stairs as I lost myself in my thoughts.

Despite what I had been thinking, I really loved this place. I wanted to stay as long as I could because I needed this. This house was as close to happiness as I had been in what felt like forever and I went to my room thinking about how selfish I was. The bed was huge and inviting, but empty and lonely I realized. I didn't like feeling alone and though Sesshomaru and I were married, we slept in different rooms. I don't think either of us really understood what we were getting into, but he had given me space, no pressure, no expectations and just let me be.

I turned off my light and went down the hall to where I knew Sesshomaru was. His light was still on and I pulled my hair behind my ear hoping that I was not acting a fool. I stood in the doorway, my hand holding the doorframe as I watched Sesshomaru pull off his shirt, the muscles of his back rippling and I bit down on my lower lip trying to build up the courage to speak. When he turned and spotted me, his eyes widened marginally and I almost missed it, but he continued undressing, pulling off his jeans and putting them into a laundry basket off to the side. He was never the type to leave things as they lie, or throw them, he had an order, a place for everything and I thought it was cute.

"If you're staying then turn off the light," Sesshomaru said sliding into his own bed, his eyes watching me curiously, his eyebrow raised in an arch.

My hand found the switched and flipped it off, my feet pulling me closer to him and as easily as breathing I crawled next to him and stretched out. I didn't want to be alone anymore and his warm arms lifted the blanket so I could share his warmth. I followed his lead, my eyes watching him, staring at him waiting for a sign that he was uncomfortable or didn't want to be near me, but he didn't show any emotions as he settled the both of us in.

It didn't take long for sleep to consume me, I was already emotionally exhausted and I was willing to take any kind of release that was given to me. I slept longer and more deeply than I had before, wrapped up in warmth and when I woke I was bombarded by bright light through the window. I didn't wake up feeling groggy, or hazy or feeling like I'd been put through a meat grinder, which was a giant plus. My mind took a few minutes to jump start though and when my eyes had adjusted the first thing I saw was a naked chest.

I was curled around Sesshomaru's body, my head on his chest, one of his arms underneath my neck and gentle fingers drawing invisible pictures on the exposed skin of my shoulder. I could hear his heat beating and my fingers twitched on his chest, brushing against his nipple and other hand slid over mine, over his chest and curled around my fingers. The simple touch made my own heart begin to race, a blush rising to my cheeks and gathering enough courage, I tilted my head up and was immediately caught in his hypnotizing gaze.

I was afraid of what his touch meant, of what us being so close could mean, what it could be interpreted as and before I could worry on my lower lip Sesshomaru's lips pressed against mine. Warmth spread through me as if I had been sunbathing, the hand that had held mine sliding through my hair as he tilted my head back further and stole away my sanity. My body reacted to his instantly, molding around him as he leaned his weight onto me, pulling me into his embrace and teasing me with his tongue.

He was sweeping me away into a place I hadn't been since, well since my world shattered and I hear his moan and I wanted more. I didn't want this to stop, couldn't let it and I held him to me, hoping, wishing desperately that he would never pull away. Of every thing Sesshomaru had given me since I had shown up, never once had I expected something like this. Never did I think I would ever feel the budding passion coursing through me, the carnal need for anything to ever resurface and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I never imagined that I could fall in love with my husband.

_** E/N: I feel in the romantic kind of mood. This was sooooo freaking cute! Thank you to everyone who has left me a review! Please leave comments, I love them. Hope to have more soon. Take care!**_


	13. Chapter 13

_** Disclaimer: I sadly don't own anything. Not even my sanity.**_

___Today was actually a very good day for me. There was nothing wrong with it, which is why I was definitely surprised when this kind of story hit me. I think it's a subtle hint? lol Well Thank you to all the people who reviewed previous chapters! _

_ Warnings: OOCNESS. I have to say that I think that this is the most out-of-character thing I have written in forever and a day, but it would not let me be. This was thought up and written in under 5 hours (two of which were while I was at work lol)_

__**A First Time For Everything**

_ "Mad" - Ne-yo_

** By Miztikal-Dragon**

It had been one of those days again, you know, the ones that make you wonder what in the hell of all the shit you went through was worth it and he could say that for those days it was all he had to comfort him. He went to work, like he always did, dealt with people who cried, who screamed, and on occasion threw things, though never at him directly. Grant it, the rude-the childish client's weren't the ones that made things remotely difficult.

He could deal with the snobby, with the angry and the greedy; however, it was the ones that had no idea what they were doing that drove him through walls or to the edge of sanity and back. Albeit, most of those needy clients, who honestly needed him weren't always as bad as he felt they were. He just couldn't understand how people could possibly be so stupid. It wasn't like it was their fault that their parent(s) could not, or simply would not prepare them for the real world; nevertheless it was their fault for allowing themselves to be so ignorant of the error of their ways, especially with how elderly some of those clients were.

He guessed it all had something to do with natural selection, some folks were just cursed with stupidity, others made themselves as such and those who fell through the cracks into dissolution and despair were not his problem. In fact, most of the common folk he dealt with were not his problem, their coming to see him-his job was the act of last resort… They came to him when there was no one else to go to and as sad and pathetic as it was, his answer had been to a rare few was to either "step up" or end their miserable existence.

Maybe it was his attitude that had people cursing him, screaming and throwing the small knickknacks he kept on his desk for such an occasion, or maybe it was his need to an adrenaline rush as why he pushed people to their limits. After all, he didn't really _need___this job, he had other, better opportunities for his career choice. If he decided to go back to college for a few more years he could begin his residency at a local hospital as a doctor. If he took his bar exam he could begin to dip his fingers into the profession of justice, he could be an attorney. He was even certain that there would be hundreds-thousands of other higher paying employment opportunities he could pursue if the mood hit him to do such.

_**And **_if he ever decided to throw all of his prior education away and do the "hippie" thing, he could get hired on as a chief editor at any publishing or newspaper company he desired, or even choose a career as a writer, because he had potential (ignoring his belief that all writers were the sloth's of the working class). If there was one profession he believed had no bearing, it was writers. They lived in a land of fantasy and make-believe, happy endings and bull-plop that made the people who read that particular garbage dumber with each word.

He didn't have time to spend lounging around like some fat-cow reading a novel when he could be doing other, more productive things… Hell, he believed mowing the lawn (which was another thing he did not do, as it was below him) was more entertaining than the written trash people wrote.

Turning the steering wheel of his car to turn down the block where he lived, he could already see his driveway at the end of the long stretch of road. There was a car parked in his driveway, one he knew he did not pay for and he watched as two figures came together, became one in the darkness that the streetlights could not reach. Curious, he slowed his vehicle down to a snail's pace, watching as someone climbed into the car and pulled out towards him. He didn't have to narrow his eyes in concentration to know who the person-the male was in the car and his blood began to boil.

There was something wrong with him, he could feel it growing in his bones, in his muscles and this anger-this burning hatred filling him was becoming an uncontrollable monster. He couldn't keep it buried deep within as it was pouring over the top of him, washing him in red and he pulled into his driveway, turned off his engine and slammed the door shut. He didn't care about grabbing his briefcase, didn't even remember it sitting there in the passenger seat, he wanted answers.

Normally by the time he reached his home the anger and irritation had dissipated, filed itself away for further review when the occupants of his home were fast asleep; however, lately it did not seem to want to go anywhere but out. Normally he was a quiet man, reserved and solitary and the few people who truly new him were closer to him than blood-relatives and yet at the moment all he could think about was how fed up he was about everything.

The front door opened in, his calculating eyes spying the cluttered floor, objects he couldn't identify obstructing his vision with their fluorescent colors and odd shapes. There was screaming, he could hear it pounding in his head, crying-loud wails that would keep him from sleeping, from relaxing and his muscles tensed. The door closed behind him roughly, drowning out the cries for just a moment and no number of deep breaths could push the emotions bubbling up in his chest. He was going to explode.

"Sesshomaru!" Her long midnight hair was pulled back into a lose braid, a wailing child resting on her hip-it's bright red face egging him on, a dishrag in her free hand as well as a coffee cup. "You're home early tonight, did everything go okay at the office?"

Rin, the name of the woman in front of him smashed into his mind and he clenched his fists as the child if it had been possible, wailed louder, the small fat hands tugging at both Rin's shirt and the long braid of hair. He could feel all of his control slipping, falling between his fingers like water and when an incessant tugging of his pants caught his attention he could feel himself snap.

"Daddy look what I did today!" The chocolate haired child wasn't even hip high, its large smile tooth and dirty. He hated it at the moment, hated everything.

"Get that thing away from me." He growled lowly in his chest, his amber eyes narrowing at the woman in front of him, this Rin.

Silence filled the room suddenly, the infant quieting down as if Rin had dropped the coffee mug in her hand. He heard her sudden intake of air, he could see the widening of her cerulean eyes, the shock, the hurt and the disappointment. Then the anger, oh how it burned in him, demanding to be set free and now the women in front of him displayed it and he wanted more.

"That thing is your daughter!" She snapped shrilly, her voice higher than he had ever remembered it being as she stalked over to him and picked up the child, hushing the girl as the three were swept out of the room.

It wasn't enough, his mind raced frantically, wasn't enough to quell the demon fighting him and his feet dragged him into the kitchen. There were several sets of dishes in the sink, the normal childish plates, cups, silverware and then the ones that only adults had any business using. It made him angry because he knew who had been in his house, been drinking his coffee, eating his food and talking (if not more) with his Rin and he gripped the sink as if it would bend to his will.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Her voice whispered harshly behind him, the children would be in their rooms.

"Why was he here?" He growled angrily, his teeth biting down on his cheek in an attempt to keep from lashing at her. "Why was he in my house?"

"Who Kohaku?" Her eyes were narrowed at him, her hands pressed tightly on her hips. She was sizing him up, standing up and adrenaline pulsed through him, she was challenging him with her body, with her eyes. "He was in the neighborhood and dropped by to see me and the girls."

"Are you sleeping with him?" He took a step towards her and when she did not step down he felt his instincts accepting the challenge, she was refusing to back down.

"Are you fucking crazy?" She shrieked, "No! I am not sleeping with him, or anyone else for that matter! What has gotten into you? Are you on drugs?"

"Answer me!" He hollered, his voice bouncing off the walls and echoing in his ears.

He had never before raised his voice in such a matter and it hurt his throat a little, but he could feel the rage in his body ebbing, he had to get this out… had to get these feelings out of him or he would die.

"Stop this!" her voice was rising to match his and he couldn't stop himself as he started screaming louder.

Everything, all of the bottled up emotions he thought had been harmless came spewing out of him. Things that he knew had never angered him, or even bothered him was like burning coal and he hated her for them. It was her fault why he was stuck in some dead end job he hated. It was her fault why he had a mortgage and a car payment, it was her fault why he couldn't breathe and felt like he was suffocating. It was her fault and as he screamed and yelled, his entire body towering over her, all she stood still, no backing down.

"I gave up everything for you!" She yelled back pushing at his chest with her small hands, feeding the burning in his chest. "I gave up my entire fucking life for you Sesshomaru! My job-"

"You are a writer!" he snarled as she shoved him harder forcing him back and antagonizing him.

"Don't you think for one moment that I asked for any of this!" She continued viciously. "Don't you dare say you're smothered! I didn't fight you when you said you didn't want to marry me! I didn't fight you when you asked for your name to be kept off both of our daughter's birth certificates! I haven't asked you for anything Sesshomaru besides your love and I can't believe your behavior."

This time when her hands shoved him he growled, his large hands grabbing her shoulders roughly, tearing the sleeve of her shirt as slammed her back into the nearest wall. Her head smacked into the drywall, her blue eyes rolling into the back of her head as he repeated the movement twice, the clunking sounds ringing in his ears as she screamed.

"Shut up!" He roared, his chest heaving, his panting loud in his own ears as the Rin stared at him as if he had grown another head, or two. "Shut up!"

"Let go of me," she wasn't looking at him anymore, but her voice sounded just as deadly and he could feel his rage slipping out of his fingers tips as ice froze the blood in his veins. "Let me go now or so help me god Sesshomaru you'll regret it."

Drops of moisture darkened the fabric of Rin's shirt and glancing down at himself, Sesshomaru removed his hands from her, his fingers trembling as he took a step back and then another. What was wrong with him?

"R-Rin?" His throat ached and he swallowed the lump in his throat as Rin's body shook.

"Don't!" she hissed grabbing the knife sitting on the countertop next to her. "You are not Sesshomaru."

"Rin," What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he stop himself? This wasn't something he would do, never on earth would he have dreamed on laying a hand on Rin, but he had and there was no explaining his actions because when he tried his mind went blank.

"You are some demon that wears his face," her body slid against the wall away from him, her clear blue eyes haunting him with emotions he never would have thought would be focused on him. "I want my Sesshomaru back and wherever you put him you better find him. Whatever it is that is wrong with you, you better fix it. I don't want to leave you but I will not be some punching bag of yours. I will not let myself be a victim with whatever disease is in you.'

He couldn't put the pieces together and he wanted to pull her to him, wrap his arms around her waist and apologize, but he couldn't because it wasn't in his nature to do so. He could already see the dark impressions of his fingers on her arms where the short sleeve of her shirt didn't cover and shame filled him. He was a monster, a demon and he couldn't figure out where it was hidden in him.

"You fix it Sesshomaru," he told him as she touched the corner of the wall leading into the living room and the hallway, the large knife clutched tightly in her hand at her side. "Because if you don't I will leave. I'll take the girls and you won't ever see them again. I'll make it to where no matter what you do, they will not exist for you. I love you, but if you make me choose between our children's safety and you, you will lose every time."

He didn't move as she grabbed the cordless phone with her free hand before fleeing the kitchen down the darkened hallway. He didn't move as the screaming cries of their children slowly quieted down. Sesshomaru was stuck in place for a long moment and once he could gather enough bearings to move, he immediately followed after Rin.

The truth was that he didn't know where to begin to fix whatever he had messed up. If it had been him in Rin's position, there would be nothing to fix, he would be gone (or the offender dead), but he couldn't afford to lose her. There was something seriously wrong with him as he stood in front of the closed bedroom door of his daughters, his ears listening to quiet sobs.

"Come on baby, let's put your jacket on," Rin's voice was watery and he could tell that she had started crying harder.

"Did I do something wrong?" the six year old sniffled softly. "Does daddy hate us now?"

"Oh h-honey," He heard a loud sob wrench from Rin's throat and it nearly broke him. "No, no don't ever think that for a moment. Daddy loves you, no matter what your daddy will always love you."

"What about you?"

"I-I don't know," it was the honesty that frightened Sesshomaru, the hurt in her tone and he couldn't stand there and listen to anymore.

He headed back into the kitchen, his mind racing with thoughts and none of them leaving him ending remotely well and all the energy fled him as he collapsed onto a dinning chair, his hands entwining themselves into his long silver hair and tugging violently. He was losing everything, everything that mattered and he did not think there was a way around it. Never in a million years did he think he was capable of his actions, never before did he think that his relationship with Rin could ever head down in this direction and it left him feeling helpless and empty.

The doorbell rang sometime later and silently Sesshomaru sat where he was, his eyes staring at the kitchen table, his breath coming out rather reluctantly. He didn't want to continue on this way, he couldn't-they couldn't, it wasn't fair to anyone, especially the one's he hurt most.

He heard his half brother InuYasha as well as some other male enter his home, heard Rin talking in hushed tones as his entire family was taken away from him. He didn't deserve them, he thought mentally hating himself. Sesshomaru didn't look up as Rin came closer, the knife sliding into the sink as she neared his side. He didn't have the courage to look at her, not after what he had done, he was disgusting and she should have left without another word. She should have disappeared from his life, because he did not know if he could fix anything, he couldn't even fix himself apparently.

"I'm going to stay with InuYasha and Kagome for a few days," she said softly, her small fingers touching the top of his head and running through his long hair almost lovingly. "I don't like you right now Sesshomaru-" her voice broke and he forced his eyes to stay staring at the wooden table. "But I still love you. We'll get through this somehow."

When he didn't answer, Rin sighed heavily withdrawing her fingers from his hair and leaving. He wanted to pull her back, hold her close and break down, but he couldn't.

"Pathetic," he heard InuYasha's snarl from across the room and it was a few minutes later that he was completely alone. Alone with thoughts, all of his thoughts and though he knew he could not break in front of her, he tried to keep it together.

When the engine of InuYasha's car faded from his ears Sesshomaru learned that he could cry and that it was one of the most painful things he could do.

E/N: Well I think it's safe to assume everyone knows what kind of family I grew up in! XD lol Some of the ending stuff got me all choked up. For such a cute song, I can't believe this monster came out of it! I'm working on a few things right now, so I'm hoping to have more up relatively soon (fingers crossed), but now I'm off to read some M/M bundle of wonderful-novels I bought. lol Please review!


	14. Chapter 14

Because I apparently, make no sense...

"Second Go" -Lights

It shouldn't have turned out this way. These mindless circles and games that these thoughts tortured him with constantly. He was strong, in body, spirit and mind and he was better than this. He wasn't the type to bow to anyone weaker than himself, he never gave in or gave up, he was the strongest. He couldn't wrap his mind around this terrifying enigma, this paradox and it was driving him to the brink of insanity.

He was stronger than her, in every way humanly possible (and even not so humanly as well) and yet somehow she had come out on top. She cried when the mood hit her, threw tantrums worse than any toddler could imagine and almost dangerously naïve and yet somehow he was the one left struggling with their disaster. How long had she stayed at his side, holding onto him like some safety rope? Grant it she wasn't annoyingly clinging as he would have broke free easier than it was to breathe if she had, but somehow she had dug her blunted nails into him and now he couldn't break free no matter how hard he tried.

He was losing his mind-that was the only explanation he could come up with. He had lapsed into a permanent state of stupid thanks to her and now he wasn't sure if he could ever go back to who he used to be. She had destroyed the man he had always known he was and now he was stuck with feelings and emotions alien to him, trying to piece back together the jagged ends of his life, trying being the key word.

Of course to anyone else he was certain couldn't tell the difference unless they took the time to study him, but no one had. He was a cold man, brutally honest, busy and arrogant-the human (looking) icicle and he had liked it that way. He wasn't cold because he was unlikable or that he was into being a loner, but because he had no patience for the people who wanted him to notice them.

Though he could honestly say she hadn't been one of them, they had quite literally stumbled together. She later spouted destiny or and even once claimed it was a case of serendipity, but he could only thing of coincidence (not that he tended to believe in that either). Even now he didn't want to believe in all that nonsense, but now he knew better. He needed her, the way she laughed, cried and even the way she screamed when he had pushed her over the edge.

He didn't know quite yet how he was going to do it, but he would get her to see that she could only be happy with him. They needed each other and hopefully she would understand that even though he could be cruel, he still loved her… Well as much as it was possible for him to. This wasn't over, there had to be a second go.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: Don't own nothing... thanks,

This is something I was thinking about at work today, and I even got obsessed enough to dream about it during my surprise nap. lol I've tossed the idea around for the last couple of years, but it never came out right...

ENJOY!

"Face Up"-Lights

She had felt the tremors before it had hit, the unstable shaking of her fingers as she unloaded the groceries into the fridge, stocking the cabinets and she had tried fighting against the emptiness at the back of her mind. It had been creeping up on her more as of lately, stealing what strength she had left and it worried her. The doctors had told her not to push herself, not to lift anything heavier than ten pounds and though she knew she should have followed their orders, she couldn't.

It was funny, but then again, not very and it had happened faster than she anticipated. The baby had been crying, loud and needy and all that was needed was for things to be put in their places and she would have been preparing lunch for everyone. She had reached for the formula, her hand around the container when she was struck. Violent tremors wracked her body and pain ripped through her and then she was falling and sense was thrown out the window.

Now she couldn't hear the screams, of the baby or of her companion, the older woman kneeling over her body, muscles seizing and limbs thrashing. The woman's hands trying to hold her down and it was like she was in a dream world. She felt like she was in one of those Hollywood movies, she was watching her life through a television set or movie screen, staring helplessly at her body and knowing that she shouldn't be watching herself like some third party rubber-necker.

"Rin," the voice called to her from behind, but she could only stare down at her body as it grew still, her companion's hands quick to search for a pulse the two of them already knew wasn't there.

"I didn't think it would come so soon." Rin replied softly. "Poor Kagome."

"You knew this would happen," a large hand rested itself on her shoulder and Rin smiled sadly to herself as Kagome began administering CPR.

"I know," Rin kneeled by her body, her long fingers tracing the midnight strands. "But selfishly I wanted more than two years… I greedily was hoping for an entire lifetime. Everything was beginning to get on track, it was all coming together for me…"

"Rin," she glanced behind her to the tall man standing there, his long silver hair dancing in the non-existent wind. His amber eyes held sorrow but determination and his gaze bubbled the hysterics she was feeling in her stomach.

"I'd finally convinced him to marry me," She told him shrugging nonchalantly as the woman in front of them struggled to keep her breathing. "He finally said yes and now you're taking me away from him."

She could feel the tears clawing at her, the moisture in her eyes desperately trying to break free and she wished she could cry. Rin wanted to scream and deny that she was dying, that this was all some kind of nightmare she'd made up but it wasn't. She had been living on borrowed time from the start, time that belonged to the man behind her and she felt bad for taking it from him at the start; however, he had offered it so she could have love. It was all apart of the deal she had made and now it was tumbling down all around her.

"I'm sorry," she knew he really meant it to, but she couldn't ask him to keep bearing the weight of keeping her alive, at least not for how long she wanted him to.

"Please," she whispered brokenly staring down at her hands, at her unmoving body inches away from her. "Please… Don't take me from this life yet. I know you can't grant me days or weeks, but just let me get through the rest of the day. I'm not asking this for him, but for my child. The both of us know that once I die he will no longer be bound and I need to make sure my daughter will be taken care of."

"I can't," he was closer now and she felt the bitterness creeping into her chest. It wasn't his fault, she reminded herself. All he had done was make it possible for the bundle of joy screaming in the living room from the car seat on the floor.

"Please," she wasn't above begging. "We both know he won't stay for her. I know it's selfish, but I'm sure he's already felt it and is heading home now. Kagome will take care of her. I need to do this, please. I won't be able to stay if something happens. Just a couple of hours that's all I'm asking for. Just enough to let go."

"I can only give you three-maybe four at the most," those precious hours would put them into dangerous territory with no guarantees, nonetheless, she knew he would help her if he could.

"Thank you," there was a burning sensation in her lungs, a pain in her chest as she felt herself fading. Sparing a glance at the man behind her she gave him a watery smile, it would be okay. "You know she misses you something terrible."

"I don't know,"

"It's true," Rin stood and enveloped him in a light hug. "You'll be a good father, trust me. Kagome still loves you and I'm sorry for taking your life with her away so I could be selfish. It means so much more to me than you'll ever know. I'm grateful to have known you InuYasha."

He gave her a lopsided cocky grin and pain washed over her as she gasped greedily for air. Her vision blurred and she blinked several times and nails dug into her arms, her name falling from Kagome's mouth in a high pitch shriek. Her chest hurt, though not from physical pain and it took her a few moments before she was able to wrangle herself into sitting up. Her body was protesting almost violently and she fought against the urge to lay down because she knew the next time her eyes closed would be the end of everything.

"I'm calling 9-1-1!" Kagome's hands fluttered over her and Rin quickly batted them away as if she were scolding a young child. "You stopped breathing!"

"I'm fine," she grumbled climbing onto her feet. She only had three hours and she needed to finish things before it was too late. "This happens all the time."

"You stopped breathing Rin!" Brown eyes were watching her with a hawk's gaze, unbelieving and scared. "I highly doubt that happens all the time!"

"It's fine," Rin snapped coldly glaring at Kagome and threatening her silently to keep going. "I need you to sign those guardianship papers today and get them filed before the courts close for the day."

"But Rin-" 

"No!" She growled harshly as she moved herself slowly to the living room and sat next to the wailing child, her trembling hands touching the cool skin and instantly the newborn quieted. "We've talked about this before and it's been decided already that you're the one I want caring for Risa if something should happen to me. I don't have any living family and trust me when I say this, when I die she will have no one."

Light hazel eyes watched her with an understanding beyond years and regret filled her. Rin hadn't known that she would be forced to abandon her life like this, if she had then she would have made certain that she couldn't have gotten pregnant. It probably would have extended her life by maybe months, or a year if she added it up, but in the end she wouldn't have changed a thing. Now she would have a key to the world she was leaving, and though there was no option of her ever returning, it didn't mean that it was the end. It was the funny thing about half-breeds, they transcended all the barriers of life.

"You're going to be fine," Kagome pleaded with her eyes and Rin didn't have the strength to try and appease the woman in front of her. "I can't do this alone."

"It's going to be okay Kagome," Rin smiled as she watched her daughter close those knowing eyes and drift off into a light slumber. "Please, file the paperwork-if only for just in case. It'll make me feel better. Humor me."

"Okay," she didn't sound convinced, but Rin wasn't trying to be an actor, not with the time quickly dissipating. "But I'll be back first thing tomorrow for Risa, I promised Souta he'd get to see her so you can celebrate without interruption."

That made Rin chuckle as Kagome gathered up her purse almost hesitantly. It was in her right to be suspicious, but those thoughts were thrown when the front door shot open and bounced against the wall, followed by long silver hair and amber eyes whirling in like a tornado.

"Rin," he stood over them and she offered him a small smile as he ran his hands over her either searching for imaginary wounds or verifying if she were really there and not some illusion.

"Do you think I can convince you to take Risa tonight?" Large hands were pulling her to her feet and into his broad chest, she could hear his heart thundering in his chest and refused to allow herself to get worked up. "I'll owe you big time."

"Are you sure?"

"Please," Rin had never been one to ask for much, but it was apparently her word of the day.

Kagome nodded silently before grabbing the large diaper bag from the couch and taking the handle of the car seat into her free hand. Rin felt the tugging of her heart strings as she watched her friend gather up the child and head toward the door. This would be the last time she saw her daughter and a small part of her wanted to horde it away when she knew it was unwise.

"Kagome," Rin called out as she headed out the front door. She didn't want to spoil the surprise, but she wanted to let Kagome know that help was on the way, even if she wasn't ready for it. "He'll be back sooner than you know it and you'll have the family you were denied. It'll all work out, I promise."

That earned her a confused and scared look, but Kagome smiled sheepishly and Rin wondered if Kagome really understood the meaning behind it. They all knew that InuYasha would not be gone forever, all it would cost was Rin and when the door closed she felt the numbness wash over her.

"How much time is left?" His voice stole her from her thoughts and she felt the tears burn her eyes as she tried to keep them down.

"Sessh-"

"How much?" His tone was his no nonsense and a sob bubbled in the back of her throat. "Rin…"

Glancing up at the clock on the wall she sighed tiredly, "An hour, maybe two…"

His arms encircled her again, pulling her close and she clung to him as if he were her last lifeline. In all honesty she did not want to die, not this way, not this soon and though she couldn't stop the hurt it would bring, she couldn't stop it from coming. Sesshomaru was not a tender gentle creature, yet he held her as if she were made of glass and she could keep the few tears that slipped from her eyes at bay as his lips brushed against hers.

"Will you lay with me until I go?" She asked softly, his long silver hair tickling her nose as he pulled away.

He wouldn't give her a smile, real or pretend, not that he had really given her one during better moments and she still felt the love she had for him fill her as he cocked his head to the side and pulled her into his arms to carry her. It wasn't scary, knowing that her time was bleeding away, that soon she would be swallowed up into the nothingness and her life extinguished, it was a little depressing, but not scary. She was prepared to die.

"Why didn't you tell me it was so soon?" He asked as he laid Rin down on their large bed, the mattress dipping under their weight as he got comfortable.

"I didn't want you to try and find a way to keep me longer." She told him as her arms wrapped around his waist, her head pillowed on his chest.

"Rin,"

"Sesshomaru stop," she pinched his back in warning as she felt herself really relax for the first time since after holding Risa for the first time. "InuYasha has a life here, I can't ask him to wait until I'm ready to give back his life to him. He misses Kagome and neither of them deserve to be lonely. I've asked him to give up so much and it's really okay. I got to have two years and that's plenty of time."

"No it's not," he argued, his fingers running through her long strands of onyx. "You're not even twenty-two."

"It's enough for me to go happily," she hugged him closer to her feeling herself loosing the comfort of touch, it wouldn't be long now. "I only wanted you and now I was given Risa… InuYasha'll take care of her until she's strong enough to be able to cross over for a visit maybe? I'm selfish Sesshomaru, I'd rather give up my humanity than spend a lifetime without knowing you."

"Rin,"

"Hush," his lips pressed against her forehead and her eyes were harder to keep open. "Just hold me."

"I love you,"

She hated this feeling, the pressure and the spectator third party she'd become in a matter of seconds. She hated watching Sesshomaru hold her lifeless body as if she were merely sleeping and know that she couldn't reach out and touch him now. It wasn't fair and the tears slipped down her face without ever planning to stop. Silence surrounded her, comforted her and tortured her, it was killing her to stay.

"He's going to kill me isn't he?" InuYasha's voice floated in her head and she laughed lightly wiping the falling moisture from her cheeks.

"No," she told him sincerely as she forced herself to look away from Sesshomaru and her old life. She didn't want to procrastinate her way into regret and pipe dreams, it really was over this time and she had accepted it. "He's more upset with me because I didn't give him a chance to fight. He's not the type to be helpless, not like this."

"You'll be waiting a few days before he'll be able to get back here," InuYasha's hand found hers and led her away from the heartache and her love. "Maybe less, but you'll see him again sooner than you think and this time it'll be permanent."

"Just promise me you'll take care of my baby," Rin felt InuYasha's hand squeeze hers and it gave her hope for better days, even if they were not for her. "Just make sure she knows that she's loved… and I'm sorry."

"I will," Rin was surrounded in warmth, the bright sun kissing her skin and she hardly noticed the hand she held fading until she was completely alone. She knew it wouldn't be a long wait, but she reminded herself that there were no regrets. She'd been allowed to have love, it might not have been long, not to anyone's standards, but it was enough and now it would last forever.

It was funny that she had fallen in love with death, the creature known for pain and suffering and sorrow, but she had and he had given her love in return, if only for a price. This wasn't an end, but a beginning and she was ready for it.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: **_Nope, don't own anything, don't make money off of this. I might have gone crazy, but at least I know that this disclaimer is true..._** sigh**

** This is just something random...**

** A First Time For Everything**

'Waiting for you'-Jim Brickman

As a child I always thought of the piano as a happy instrument, the cool ivory and black keys glowing with hidden sound. It was an instrument I had always filed in my head as an instrument of love and compassion, of sweet melodies that made the night seem just a little less darker- my own personal safe haven.

I had grown up with one near me, the notes whispering into my ear at night when my mother would look inside her soul or at times after school when I sat by her side, pretending I was the next Mozart. Yeah, those were precious times filled with a sugary-sweet happiness that only lasts for but a while.

By the time I was eight I knew how to play better than any gifted high school child, and by ten, well-I was told I was greatness in the making. It didn't last though, like many stories told, everything changed on one of those dreary fateful nights, the ones that steal away all the good things in life and leave you stranded in a ocean of water, struggling to stay afloat.

There are bits and pieces that I simply cannot remember; whether it be because mentally I could not handle the stress and cope or the head trauma I sustained, but sometimes it feels like a little of both. Sometimes I wonder if all the love I felt as a child was a hint at the suffering I would feel later, as if lady luck had been stashing my happiness in a checking account that allotted me only so much before I was to be punished, shoved down the slope of misery in a never ending spiral of darkness.

We had been walking home from one of my important recitals because the night had been so beautiful and the neighborhood was upscale and supposedly safe. It hadn't really been a long walk and all I had known then was that my mother was proud of me, she had been gushing for the previous two blocks and my smile would have never been allowed to falter, I was too happy. It hadn't been late, barely nine-or so, but it was no longer summer so the darkness had fallen early as it so often did in the winter months.

My small hand had been clasped tightly in hers, our arms swinging merrily and the streetlights had simply vanished. I shrieked and panicked, my mother's hand violently torn from my own and screams, horrible screams filled the night air. They weren't from my mother, but from some unseen creature, loud and piercing and deafening. I had been too scared to call out to my mother, droplets of wetness falling onto my face and onto the beautiful white dress my mother had worked hard to save money for and purchase.

Something slimy touched my arm, another thing, more solid and sharp traced over my cheek and I couldn't find the strength to call to my mother. What was going on? Where was she? What was happening? The shrieks grew louder, sounding as if they were circling around me and I could feel my tears sliding down my face, I was scared.

My shoes slapped against something thick and I fell to my knees, a large soft cushion catching the brunt of my fall and it was then that I managed to cry out, the shriek's dying out and the streetlight that had failed me flickering back on as if it were a beacon of hope.

The cushion, I had been told later hadn't really been a cushion at all, but my mother's mangled body; however, I do not remember seeing her after being drowned in the darkness. I had been found in the early hours of the morning, carelessly wandering the streets, my white dress stained red, the wet tracks of my tears the only place where blood had not tainted my skin.

My guardian angel, my savior had spotted my aimless path as he headed from his extravagant home, a small briefcase in his hand and at first I'm told, I was thought to be some evil specter. His cold eyes watched me as I drew closer to him, his cold and sharp eyes drawing me out of the darkness I had been sucked into and slowly he came closer, his silver hair swaying with each step.

He did not say a word as he offered me his hand and I could feel something tickling in the back of my mind. I hadn't known at the time that if I had refused him and kept going I would have been devoured by the demons who had taken my mother the night before, but then again the idea had never cropped up as I reached desperately to him.

I recognized the dried red that coated my arms, but did not, could not process it as blood and yet when his fingers wrapped around mine I instantly knew I was safe. My savior couldn't save me from the misery or suffering I would feel in later years, nor the emotional pain that wrapped around my heart and threatened to strangle me. He couldn't keep the dreams or the fear from my mind, but he kept me away from all the physical hurts.

All the years of my mother's overabundance of love kept me appeased from my saviors lack of it, kept me from attempting to find love from different places, places that threatened to hurt me, destroy me and in time I learned, as of consequences to my actions that it wasn't that my savior did not care, but that he showed it differently than everyone else. I learned to read between the lines and that's where my love for him began to bloom. He may not have been able to show me his emotions; however, I was not broken enough to throw away the possibilities. I could be the weak one if he needed me to, be strong if he could not show it to me. I would be the glue that kept us together and he would be my rock.

In time I came to realize that I was glad that I accepted him because it was my music that drew him to me, but my mother's sacrifice that bound my savior and myself together. She gave me love from despair, like a phoenix rising to the ashes and I learned how to love a demon.

**E/N: **Yayz. I really loved the song, it's beautiful. Next story comes up next! yayz


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: **_Nope, don't own anything, don't make money off of this. I might have gone crazy, but at least I know that this disclaimer is true..._** sigh**

** Now, this is one I actually had a dream about and after a few drinks was able to push it out of my brain... lol creepy much?**

** A First Time For Everything**

_Spiderwebs_-No Doubt

Her day had started off as a rather mediocre day, boring, uneventful and lacking anything relatively pleasurable. The morning had been spent cleaning out a dust filled warehouse, cobwebs easily feet in size, inches of dust and dirt and the large room unbearably hot. She had volunteered herself only as a last resort, but somehow she had gotten suckered into weeks worth of work for minimum wage pay and though she did not complain vocally, her mind was filled with mutiny.

The job had been easy, merely moving priceless objects from the warehouse and out into the shop, not forgetting the dust rag to clean said items and three hours into manual labor, her muscles were aching and her sweat had dust and dirt caked to her every exposed surface of skin. The room had been ignored for years easily and she had been warned that vermin might have made it a home; however, she had been glad that no rats, bats or anything close to that were present.

It had even struck her as odd, yet she swept it from her mind as her hand batted yet another enormous cobweb hanging from the ceiling. She felt as if she had been in a haunted house, or some other cheesy Halloween haunt and it would take her days to get the junk out of her already unmanageable long hair. By early afternoon her work was done and she had been free of the cramped, hot room in favor of the shop foyer, and blissfully cool air conditioning.

She'd been relaxing, drinking a cold glass of water when she felt a pinch on her thigh and with a brief glance she cried out, her hand instinctively swatting her jean clad thigh and smashing the large spider resting on it. Her heart thumped in her chest as she wiped the remnants of spider goop on her jeans, and some on the old

chair cushion she rested on and decided enough was enough.

"Kaede!" She called out loudly making her way to the counter dividing the shop foyer and the staff room. "I'm going home now!"

An elderly woman waddled slowly, her huge bulking frame almost intimidating if she hadn't been smiling. "Aye child, you can go now. The boys will be here tomorrow to finish with the things that the museum has purchased."

She grumbled to herself as Kaede turned and disappeared into the backroom, the sound of wooden beads clinking together almost hypnotic. Picking up her bag, she shouldered it and headed out, only to stop as Kaede's voice rung out as if she had spoken through a speaker system.

"Rin," she turned, but Kaede was nowhere to be seen. "Pleas be careful child, the moon is full of malice tonight…"

"Yeah, yeah" Rin muttered under her breath before leaving out the front door and into reality.

Upon arrival to her small home, Rin shucked off all her clothes and let them fall to the floor. She had plans to go out with Kohaku, her longtime friend (boyfriend if the word was used loosely) and she wanted to be dressed to impress. A hot shower and serious scrubbing pulled the dirt and the grime from her body and readied herself for what she assumed would be a good time. She listened to the voicemails on her house phone as she stuffed herself with children's cereal, the jingle sounding from the television in the other room.

She did not think about the status of hers and Kohaku's relationship as it had gone no further than friends with benefits. She wasn't worried if he didn't like her, because she already knew he had. They worked like a well-oiled machine, easy and predictable and on most occasions, fun. She was too young to settle down, too curious about the world around her to try and be too grown up. There would be plenty of time for her to do those things later, way later if she had her way and after a mental debate, Rin decided to leave her hair down and pulled on a pair of loose-fitting skater shoes she had acquired from Kohaku's closet during her last visit.

Rin had checked herself over before getting dressed, making sure that the spider she had sworn bit her through her jeans wasn't some form of poisonous creature. She had even gone as far as to pour rubbing alcohol over her thigh, just in case (maybe not her brightest moment) and there had been nothing, no bite, no irritation and she wondered if maybe she had been imaging it.

Kohaku had been on time to pick her up (as he always had been), though instead of the small Honda Del Sol he normally drove, he pulled up driving a behemoth. Rin recognized the thunderous Ford Excursion as Miroku's by the clad dressed woman decal stickers and perfect leather interior. How Kohaku had been able to persuade Miroku to giving up the keys to "Sango II" (as Miroku proclaimed his vehicle to be), Rin didn't know and she wasn't going to ask as she catapulted herself into the passenger seat.

Large vehicles were okay, to a point, and it was more car than either man needed and she shook her head as the vehicle hummed as it cruised down the streets. There was no use contemplating their mindset, as it was worse than a school child with unlimited supply of fattening sugar and she opted to messing with the radio station instead of asking stupid questions.

There were only so many different possibilities of where Kohaku had planned on taking them driving Miroku's gas-guzzler and a part of her was not surprised when they turned into the drive in parking lot. Kohaku often proclaimed that a movie wasn't a movie if it wasn't seen in the drive in and she fought back a heavy sigh as the vehicle was parked.

The windshield wasn't overly large, surprising for such an enormous vehicle, but Kohaku didn't complain as he unbuckled himself and scooted closer to Rin, the bench seat vehicle just a tad too convenient in her opinion. The radio spewed announcements and advertisements and Rin debated on whether or not it was too late to feign a headache and call the night a wash.

"So how was your day?" Kohaku asked, his brown eyes watching her with an innocent curiosity.

_ Lame_, her mind supplied as she rubbed her thigh, the denim irritating the skin underneath it slightly. "Meh, Kaede had me doing manual labor so you guys can get that old room cleared out."

He was only half interested in what she was saying, it was as plain as day when his fingers traced her cheek, slipping through the black strands of her hair. _Boys_, she mentally sighed not pretending interest, she really did not feel 'frisky' at the moment. His lips ghosted over her skin, his breath tickling her ear and her heart lurched as she glanced at the driver side window, it was tinted.

Feeling put out by Kohaku's obvious careful planning she almost pulled herself away from him, his teasing fingers slipping underneath her light t-shirt. His hands were surprisingly calloused and his lips fitted almost too comfortably over her mouth, drawing her to him like a moth to a flame. To be honest, she liked kissing Kohaku, his shy eagerness, his feather-light touches and sheer enthusiasm made her feel desirable. Sure, there were feelings attached to it as well; after all, he had nearly been her first everything and if nothing else she could see herself settling down with the boy in front of her, not that she really wanted to.

"Rin," his hushed moan whispered in her ear as the straps of her bra were slid down her arms and dropped to the floor with her borrowed shoes.

Her breath was coming out in heavy pants as Kohaku continued, his hard body pressing her firmly into the bench seat, his eager mouth consuming her as his hands roamed her flesh. Her mind had gone hazy, more so than normal as the sounds of the movie playing faded into static, her thigh itching slightly under her jeans and she gasped as Kohaku's hand slipped under the elastic band of her underwear and touched her.

Her body jerked violently as a mixture of pleasure and pain ripped through her. It jarred her and Kohaku continued onward, his teeth nibbling the column of her neck, his other hand sliding down her side and catching on her jeans. She couldn't find enough air in her lungs to vocalize her pain, nor the strength in her limbs to push Kohaku away as another pang rang through her lower half. This wasn't right, she knew it wasn't and a strangled sob wrenched itself free from her mouth as her jeans were pulled down her legs, Kohaku's bare hand pressing against her flesh.

Her cry had an immediate effect and Kohaku pulled away from her as though he'd been slapped, his brown eyes wide and filled with fear. "R-Rin?"

_It hurts_, she mentally cried trying to get her body to obey her, the throbbing growing worse. She bit down on her lip violently as she forced herself up, her eyes catching the discoloration of the skin on her leg and she forced down another sob. There was a large purple bruise almost three inches in diameter, the center an angry red as if she had been branded by a hot poker and when Kohaku's fingers touched it she couldn't hold back her scream.

"What did you do to yourself?" Kohaku gasped loudly.

"I don't know," she sobbed trying desperately to regain control of herself and failing miserably. "I-I think I got bit by a spider while at Kaede's shop."

"That's not a spider bite," he spat as he dug around in his pockets for his cell phone and hitting buttons as he glared at her thigh. "How long has it been like that?"

"I-I don't know!" She was loosing feeling in her legs and her heart skipped a beat. "I didn't have this earlier! T-there was nothing there before you picked me up earlier."

Kohaku; however, had stopped listening to her as he started the vehicle and began maneuvering it out onto the road, the movie completely abandoned now as he spoke harshly into the cell phone in his hand. Her mind slipped away from her along with her vision and she was stuck in a painful darkness, the static from the radio humming in her ears.

Was she dying? It was hard to tell when she couldn't even keep track of anything around her and she cursed her luck. Kaede had been right, maybe she should have stayed home instead of going out with Kohaku. Hell, she should have pretended to have been sick so she could have gotten out of helping Kaede, but she hadn't and this was the price of helping out a friend of the 'family'.

Familiar voices called out to her and she struggled to focus on them as she was jostled around. She was being pulled and tugged and a wave of cold air knocked some of the sense back into her. It was dark out, she noticed as her head lolled against a warm hard surface, rumbling vibrations keeping her from falling back into her thoughts and she ached.

"Rin," the voice was gruff and demanding and letting her head fall back she was met with furious amber eyes. "Rin, stay with me!"

"I-InuYasha?" What was he doing here during her date? She was confused, frightened and angry. "W-what-"

"Rin honey," she felt herself being lowered onto something hard and flat and she hissed as her head smacked into it. "Tell me what happened, what bit you?"

"She said it was a spider while she was at Kaede's earlier," Kohaku's voice bounced off her ears along with the sound of a heavy door slamming shut somewhere close by.

"Where am I?" Rin was able to force herself to sit up, her entire body feeling something close to jelly like.

She didn't need either of them to tell her really, not when her eyes focused enough to clearly see her surroundings. She was in the dinning room, draped across the kitchen table that belonged to InuYasha's older brother Sesshomaru. She knew because she had spent more years of her life eating at the table she was on than anywhere else, that and the door slamming had been Sesshomaru making an appearance.

He looked angry-well, as angry as he could possibly be without showing it as he neared her and she felt her pulse quicken. She didn't want to be there, not with him and there was pain, in both her heart and her leg. She tried sliding off the table and would have done so successfully if she hadn't glanced down and promptly screamed.

The skin inside the bruised area had turned black and began to bubble out, the tingling sensation of something moving under her skin horrifying her even more so than any scary movie she had ever seen. Shouts irrupted around her, hands clawing at her and holding her back and she fought against them, her screams growing more shrill as the skin pulled tighter, the bulge moving slightly from mid-thigh towards her hip.

"Get it out of me!" There was something in her leg, something alive and it was crawling up her and she screamed for help.

One moment Sesshomaru was feet away, the next he had nudged his way between her legs, one clawed hand holding her leg as the other plunged into her thigh. Another scream tore through her throat as Sesshomaru's clawed fingers sunk into her, tearing muscle and flesh and ripping out the offending bulge. Long slender legs twitched from Sesshomaru's clenched hand, and Rin almost passed out at the sight of the large black spider being crushed in front of her.

The hands holding her down lessened and InuYasha came into her vision, his own clawed hands taking a hold of her leg and squeezing the flesh like a pimple. Yellow liquid oozed from her, dripping down the side of her leg and onto the table top and sizzling ominously. Shock kept Rin from screaming like her mind kept telling her to and when blood replaced the yellow sludge, InuYasha released his hold on her and pressed a cloth to the slightly gaping wound.

"Leave," Sesshomaru's voice drowned out her quiet hiccoughing sobs and reluctantly InuYasha and Kohaku exited the room.

"S-Sesshomaru," she wiped her tears with the back of her arm, but he did not acknowledge her until the two of them were alone.

"Where are your pants?" He questioned as he uncovered the makeshift bandage and sprayed her wound with a unlabeled antiseptic.

The pain immediately lessened and she willed the tears to stop unless she wanted to hyperventilate right in front of Sesshomaru. This was definitely the last place she wanted to be. "In Miroku's car with my bra."

"That is unacceptable," his cold voice was strained and it immediately put Rin on the defensive. "Come morning, InuYasha will have all your things here."

"No!" Rin snapped, wincing as Sesshomaru's deadly claws delicately wrapped gauze around her thigh. _Where had he gotten that? _ "No! You promised!"

"You have proven yourself incapable of taking care of yourself," he growled cutting off any protests. "Your childishness ends here. You will not stray from this house under any circumstances until the demon that has infected you has been _apprehended_."

"I won't stay, you can't keep me here." It was a lie, he could keep her inside the walls of his home, they both knew he could and would and for a moment she hated him.

"Watch me," He was being more vocal than she had remembered him being in the years they had been apart and she felt her pulse quicken at the glare he pinned her with.

"God, kill me now," she was being overdramatic as she flopped herself back onto the table and throwing her arm over her eyes. She didn't want to be there, not with him and especially not after he had made it clear that there had been nothing between them.

"If you hadn't belonged to me you wouldn't be begging for death." He was grumpier too, she told herself as she felt his hands leave her.

There were reasons why she had been with Kohaku, why she okayed his advances and those reasons were painful. She wanted to forget about the demon in front of her, almost preferred death to him (though those thoughts were quite questionable at the moment). It was easier to pretend to be happy with someone who merely tickled her senses than be miserable pining away for the breathlessness of someone who spent her entire existence rejecting her. She had been bound to a demon who would never accept her as an equal and now she had become his prisoner.

It was safe to say she was not looking forward to tomorrow.

_**E/N:**_ I really really loved this one... But maybe only because I dreamt it and it was almost exactly like this. Now, if only I could get the actor who played Victor Krum in Harry Potter 4, Goblet of fire, to go bowling with me and my weekend dreams would be complete... lol


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: **_Nope, don't own anything, don't make money off of this. I might have gone crazy, but at least I know that this disclaimer is true..._** sigh**

Heavily Broken - _The Veronicas_

You put one foot in front of the other, one small step at a time, just one for the moment and it makes it easier. If I can take one small step at a time I can take one breath, and with that one breath I'll live for one more moment and it'll be okay. One thing at a time I tell myself, just one and I can make it through another day. I don't need happy thoughts, I don't need bad ones, all I need is one; Just one. The simple thought brings a bitter smile to the reflection staring back at me and I can see that what I feel on the inside is what is on the outside-misery.

I feel dead inside, my soul, if I really have one, having packed up and left me completely empty. Who needed one anyway? I'm sure that there were creatures that didn't have souls and continued to live and stay alive, ignoring the idea of comparing myself to a zombie. Honestly it was what I had become in the end, a mindless zombie. I could truthfully say though that I didn't care for raw meat (animals or human), I didn't go around crying for brains and attacking unsuspecting pedestrians, but I might as well have.

I'd become a shell of the woman I once had been not even three years before. I used to smile back then, smile like it was going out style and if I stopped my face would get stuck looking less than chipper. I can't smile now, even if I try it looks as though I'm in unbearable pain and I can say that I am. If I was to be attached to a fun meter I'm sure the machine would break from lack of happiness, I'm not happy anymore and I doubt practically anything could ever bring me back to that place.

Naïve, stupid, childish- they are words that I now identify myself as being. They represent what I used to believe in, the light on the other side of the road that was always lit, even if barely and like a candle in the rain, it had been extinguished like it never existed. If there was a time to cry out my pain, now would definitely be it, but like my happiness, my tears had too been stolen from me. There was only so long I could will the tears to fall from my eyes, slip from my lashes and never stop, but the moisture had and I was empty in another way as well.

I am dead-set on hating myself for today and all the yesterdays long since past, but hopefully tomorrow it could be better, though doubtful. All I have to keep telling myself is one. Take it one day at a time, step by cautious step and maybe this broken feeling will begin to subside. Just concentrate on just a three letter word, this 'one' and maybe, I could be strong enough to move on.

E/N: More randomness.


	19. Chapter 19

** DISCLAIMER: Don't own nothing here, just the pleasure of knowing I can write things down that appeal to me.**

This is a spin off of the short "Spiderwebs" because my brain just would not let it go. ENJOY!

_**A First Time For Everything**_

By Miztikal-Dragon

_Right Round_- Flo Rida

"Rin what the hell are you doing?" She bit back her smile as she lazily turned the page of the book she was currently reading as the surprised voice rang out.

"Sun bathing," it was the truth, even if her methods were unorthodox and she made an effort to ignore the silver haired male and concentrate on her book without looking too smug.

"You're laying in front of the arcadia door." His voice came closer and her eyebrow arched as InuYasha stared at her as if she were crazy.

Rin doggy-eared her book and placed it down, her arms crossing in front of her chest carefully and she gave InuYasha a look that mocked the seriousness of his tone. It was him stating the obvious that made her want to tease him, to rile him up but she didn't. Neither of them held an attraction for the other, their relationship leaning more towards brother-sister emotions; the idea however, for the brief second she had considered it would have fueled her laughter for months.

"I'm not allowed outside remember?" They both knew that her house arrest had gone above and beyond ridiculous though InuYasha wouldn't have argued or agreed out loud. "And if I don't sunbathe this way, I'll be pasty white within a week."

She wasn't doing it to keep her skin sun kissed, they both knew she would never be able to hold the caramel complexion, nor had she been able to in the past. What she was doing now was playing with fire, tempting the fates by being childish and yet InuYasha couldn't help but laugh. If Sesshomaru wasn't regretting his earlier declaration of Rin's prison sentence, by the end of the week he definitely would be.

"You do realize it's November right?" InuYasha asked as he switched his gaze away from Rin, he was pushing his luck already and he did not want to be ripped to shreds.

"Of course I know it's November silly," she picked up the book again, this time unable to hold back the smirk slipping onto her face. "My birthday is next week."

"Rin,"

"You might want to place a strategic exit in the next four seconds," Rin picked back up her book and pretended to read the small text. "It's about time for me to turn and Sesshomaru's home."

She didn't have to glance up to know that InuYasha's body stiffened up and he was attempting to verify her words. It would be one thing to just be in the wrong place at the wrong time, especially for InuYasha; however, he would not be guaranteed his life if Sesshomaru decided to see where the other occupants of his home were. InuYasha took her subtle invitation to flee and she chuckled as he took it, his feet practically scurrying so he could leave before anyone could misunderstand anything.

Rin rolled her shoulders as she shifted her weight, stretching slightly sore muscles before flopping back down onto the fold out chair she'd unearthed in the storage room where all her old belongings had been locked up. There hadn't been much of her stuff left behind from the first time she left, and what she hadn't taken with her had been left up to InuYasha to pack up and store away and she was silently thankful that it hadn't all been thrown away. She had been younger then, more naïve and heartbroken and Sesshomaru was not the type to cling to something he did not want. When he had rejected her all those years ago he had made it clear that there was no place in his heart for her, no feelings besides obligation that he felt and she was sure that she had hurt him.

He didn't need to vocalize her feelings like she had, didn't need the approval of anyone and he said as much, but back then she had needed more than what he was willing to give her. She had spent years trying to understand him after she had left airing out all the issues and attempting to put back the pieces of her heart back together and failing miserably. Rin hadn't liked the idea of being without Sesshomaru, not when he had remained the only constant thing in her life for so long. He had been her rock and the idea that he had been there purely out of obligation was unacceptable.

Of course it goes without saying that she was only allowed a few years to herself before she was dragged back to Sesshomaru kicking and screaming. Okay, so maybe not so much kicking and screaming more as carried and slowly being eaten by some parasitic demon, but who was keeping score? Sesshomaru had made it clear that she was not allowed to leave, not until the demon that had begun to hunt her was found and destroyed and though she had tested him with everything else, his seriousness about her safety she knew not to mess with.

His stubbornness had robbed her of her freedom and she had been right when she told herself she had not been looking forward to the next morning after her close call and it had taken days for Sesshomaru's watchful eyes to leave her be. Grant it, it would have taken less if she had merely kowtowed to his wishes and behaved properly, nevertheless if she was going to be stuck here with him then she was going to be entertained. He had told her she was being childish and she was agreeing with him, if only silently, but he had forgotten to add petty and stubborn to her list of character flaws as well.

The first week she had been bored out of her mind, the second, well that was interesting, but she had to step up her game if she truly wished to get underneath his skin and that was the reasoning behind her sudden interest in 'sunbathing'. It crossed her mind more than a few times that maybe it wasn't the wisest of ideas to push Sesshomaru's buttons, to let sleeping dogs lay, those thoughts were promptly ignored.

There was tension in their relationship, unanswered attraction she knew that much and yet he denied it and ignored it and she was tired of dancing to his tune. She would make him realize that yes, she may have been human, but she was worthy of him and that it was okay to relax with someone you care about, even if only in private. As comedic as it seemed, she was taking off her nice gloves and putting on ones that she had never worn, ones that would be putting her into dangerous waters that might swallow her up and drown her and though scared, she was ready for it.

Turning over onto her back, Rin grabbed the pair of oversized sunglasses she had swiped from InuYasha earlier in the week and tossed them onto her face. She had the nasty habit of wearing her emotions on her face and the last thing she needed Sesshomaru to see was the amusement and challenge in her eyes. Teasing a powerful demon such as Sesshomaru was another one of her less than bright ideas and there was no need to give him a reason to assume she was being difficult.

A smart half-breed like InuYasha would be long gone by now, the entire house eerily silent and she felt uneasy for a moment before tucking her hands behind her head and getting into the idea that she was actually sunbathing. For November it was still decently warm outside, but the air would undoubtedly be chilly, even if the sun was glaring down at her and she was glad that she had been under house arrest because she did not think she could pull this off if she had been allowed in the backyard. Too many witnesses.

"…" She felt him enter the room, his eyes tracing over her skin and she tried to hide a shiver as it wracked her body.

"Is that you InuYasha?" She didn't look over at him, but she didn't need to when she heard the warning growl from where he stood.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Sarcasm was her defense and she bit down on her lip to hide her grin. "I'm sunbathing."

"You're naked," his voice had gone a few octaves lower, almost feral and it made butterflies flutter in her stomach.

"Hardly," she answered setting the book on the ground next to her and sitting up. "I have bottoms on."

"Those are not bottoms Rin," his ambers eyes were hot on her and though she wore sunglasses, she could tell there was something other than contempt in them.

"It's called a bathing suit bottom Sesshomaru," she told him sweetly ignoring the way his hands clenched into fists at his sides, his searing eyes closing as she stood up, her hair falling over her shoulders. "Miroku bought them for me back in March. It's actually more conservative than I thought it would be."

Sesshomaru's jaw twitched and Rin grinned triumphantly as she lazily stretched. She would have to call InuYasha sometime later that night to give Miroku the heads up to stay away unless he wanted to gamble with his life, but if things worked out the way she wanted them to then there would be no point in worrying. She made deliberate steps as she closed the space between them. She needed to get past him if she wanted to leave the large sitting room and if she had tried a different exit it would have mixed the signals she was playing with.

He tracked her movement, his muscles tensing as she neared and she had to play her next move carefully. She stopped in front of him, crossing her arms over her chest at a ploy of modesty and her heart skipped a beat as Sesshomaru's eyes opened and devoured her, caged hunger hiding behind the reserved calmness he displayed. "You should get dressed."

"Am I allowed to leave?" She was purposely egging him, judging his subtle movements and calculating his next denial.

"No," he growled almost angrily and she knew she was on the right track.

"Then I must decline," she met his eyes and had to calm the thunderous beating of her heart. "If I have to stay here then I'll play by my own rules, not yours."

She huffed loudly and tossed her hair over her shoulder as she made to leave. If she had guessed right then she had merely wait minutes for the obvious dismissal to play through Sesshomaru's mind and then all hell would break loose. However, she did not have minutes, but merely seconds as his clawed hand wrapped around her wrist and yanked her back to him, her back smacking the wall as he towered over her, his amber eyes glowing dangerously in the fading sunlight.

"Do not toy with me Rin," he barked venomously.

She was silent for a moment, desperately trying to read his body language and figure where things had gone into uncharted territory. A hands on approach with her had never been Sesshomaru's way and the heat his body radiated as enough to make her almost breathless. Her mind scrambled desperately to piece everything together and when it had, she stared intently at him, refusing to back down.

"What are you so afraid of?" She asked barely above a whisper and she was surprised when she felt him flinch. "I'm not a child anymore Sesshomaru and I'm not weak, I can take this."

"No-" She twisted her free hand into the material of his shirt and yanked him violently to her, her mouth catching his and kissing him as hungrily as his eyes had devoured her.

His body froze at the touch and when she refused to back down, Sesshomaru acquiesced. His moan was soft as he melted into her touch, his clawed hands sliding down her bare skin before resting on her hips. He let her control him as her tongue traced the seam of his lips and she sighed as he continued to play the submissive. It was thrilling and she wanted more from him now that she had been allowed to have a taste.

"Rin," he sounded as breathless as she felt and her body slid impossibly closer to him, pressing every last spare inch she could against him.

"It's okay for you to let go in private," she whispered against his lips, her fingers stroking the exposed flesh of his collarbone. "I'll protect your secret."

Her words were her death sentence as Sesshomaru crushed her to him, his mouth hungrily devouring her, his hands tracing her skin and her mind shut down from his ministrations. The games were over and she would prove to him that she was worthy of the feelings he kept under lock and key. It was okay if he did not love her the way she did him, there would be plenty of time for it later as she was not planning on going anywhere any time soon.

This time, tomorrow was going to be the beginning of the rest of her life and she could only hope that it be something she would enjoy.

** E/N: I really liked this one! Yay, more to come I promise!**


	20. Chapter 20

** DISCLAIMER: Don't own nothing here, just the pleasure of knowing I can write things down that appeal to me.**

This story is thanks to the Muse CD, 'Absolution' that I listen to while driving to the post office everyday... I got my inspiration from them and the canal I see while driving down the frontage road... Exciting!

_**A First Time For Everything**_

By Miztikal-Dragon

"Hear Me" - Kelly Clarkson

My life was steadily going down the drain.

They are words that everyone says to themselves at one point or another, but this time it is real for me. In January my brother told me he was expecting his first child, and a week later I received news of my deserved promotion. Now, those two are good things, yes, but just a few days short of February my brother, his wife and their unborn child were killed by carbon monoxide poisoning in the house they had just moved into. February was for their funerals and March was oddly quiet.

In April the promotion I had been given was taken away by my ill-performance, in other words, I was a disappointment to the company and the following month, I was given the axe. My friend's told me to keep my eyes on the bright side, that karma was only preparing me for an upheaval of good luck and at the time I had believed it like a woman dying from thirst. However, June came and I had been blessed with a freak hailstorm in my sunny town that never rains and every last window in the house I lived in was shattered. July was spent searching for jobs that I could not seem to hold for more than a week, and that spilled into August. By September I had scrounged up enough money to replace half of the house windows, the rest were boarded up out of pity by my boyfriend and his friends.

October was my birth month and while at my current then, mundane job, someone broke into my house and stole anything and everything that wasn't nailed down, leaving me with nothing but a kitchen table and my pet. In October there was no such thing as a happy birthday, just a 'fuck you'. November came and went and all it cost me was my oldest cat Sophie. She was old, well if you call twelve old, and fat. I let her outside as I normally did when I finally made it home from work, her long black and white fur sticking to my clothes and in a matter of days she went from an overweight twenty-five pounds to a startling eight pounds. Dehydrated, lethargic, her liver failing her, and I cried while at the Veterinarian's office because I could not afford to pay for everything my Sophie needed.

Someone in the neighborhood had been killing off the stray cats and my Sophie had gotten caught in the crossfire. She did not make it to see the next morning and I buried her in my backyard where she loved to roll around in the dirt. It broke my heart to see her there lifeless, I kept thinking about all those years she was with me, she had been one of the only things constant in life and she too, had been taken away from me.

So here it is December, near Christmas and amongst all the holiday cheer, I woke up realizing that I wanted to die.

"Rin?" The sound of fingers snapping brought me out of my thoughts and I glanced out the window of my pickup truck at the boy who was trying to get my attention.

"Huh? Sorry Kohaku, I spaced out," I replied sheepishly, his brown eyes staring almost worriedly at me.

"I was asking if you were stilling going to pick me up from work at ten tomorrow morning?" He worked the night shift at the police station as the emergency operator and it was a good job.

"Oh," I turned up the heater and rubbed my hands together trying to keep them from freezing. "Yeah, no problem. It's not like I have a job to go to or nothing."

"Rin-"

"No, no, it's okay." I told him giving my best fake smile I could produce. "I'll be here with bells on."

He stared at me for a few minutes with an expression I had never seen on his face, but I no longer cared what it truly meant. Somehow I had become an empty husk, a shell of the woman I used to be and I did not know how to go back. Silence filled the air and when he sighed heavily, it broke, his lopsided smile spreading on his face and I knew then that he was choosing to ignore my emptiness. It had always been a trait that annoyed me, if he could not tolerate my behavior, he erased it from his mind and it never happened. He was shutting me out and though I would not say it out loud I was begging for something more than he was offering.

"I love you," I told him as I leaned out the window to give him a kiss goodbye.

His fingers ran through his shaggy hair and instead of meeting me half way for a kiss, he placed his lips on my forehead, then turned and walked away. My heart was breaking because I knew that he had spent the money for an engagement ring, I had accidentally gotten it out of his sister Sango last Tuesday and now I was questioning both myself and him. Biting down on my lower lip, I rolled up my windows and turned down the music until I could barely hear the sounds of concert piano. It was getting late as it was, somewhere past ten-thirty but close to eleven and I was going to spend the night alone.

Driving along the quiet freeway I wondered if I was beyond help. That if by waking up with nothing to live for I had already decided to give up on the life that I had. I did not like feeling so alone, feeling trapped in the endless cycle of pain and heartache, but then again, I could not think of a way to fight against its pull. I began to think of the different possibilities, of how exactly I could kill myself. My first thought had been to hanging myself from the tree in my backyard; however, the idea of my last few moments being painful immediately crushed it. I could not shoot myself, as I had no guns in my house, nor the money to buy one off the street. Slitting my wrists went out with inflicting pain on myself, that and the sight of blood made me queasy.

I spent twenty minutes mentally debating certain methods of suicide and in the end I decided that the easiest way would be by overdose. I had medication, several anti-depressants, sleep-aids, anxiety and other pills that if I took enough, all that I had to do was fall asleep and all of my pain would end. I wouldn't have to wake up another morning wishing I were dead, or wondering if it would be the day where Kohaku would leave and destroy whatever miniscule piece of my heart was holding the rest of the broken pieces together.

Finally deciding on my course of actions, my stomach began to settle and my muscles relaxed. I was getting away from the shadows following me, torturing me and oddly enough I was beginning to feel lighthearted. Was it pathetic that it took thoughts of suicide to make me feel happier than I had in almost a year? Was I truly that far gone that ending it all could be my only escape from hell? Was I really strong enough to throw my life away?

"Yes," hearing my voice started me and I merged my truck from the freeway onto the frontage road that would lead me to my home, my final resting place and a small smile spread on my lips.

I waited for the green light so I could cross the freeway and as I accelerated I was worry free. I stayed straight, driving the speed limit as I did not need reason for my bad luck to mess up my plans, I was going to do this right. The horrible part of all my thoughts wasn't that I was going home to kill myself, but that I wasn't going to be given the chance. I heard the horn before I felt the impact, headlights blaring into my rearview mirror as another vehicle slammed into the back of my pick up.

I could hear myself screaming as I tried to right myself, tugging my steering wheel as my truck spun out of control and I hit the barrier. The driver side door smashed into my left side as my truck broke through the barrier and instead of sliding onto more road or pavement, it rocked before plummeting down. It could have been moments that I was unconscious, seconds, minutes or even hours, I don't know; however when I came to I was surrounded by black and blue. Panic welled up in my chest staring at my cracking windshield, small rivulets of water trickling down onto my dash. My entire body ached and burned and I groped around for my cell phone knowing I had to keep calm.

By the time I found my cell phone, I could already feel the cold water soaking though my shoes, the small cracks of my wind shield growing in size and I frantically dialed 9-1-1, my fingers trembling and making it almost impossible to press the already small buttons.

"9-1-1, please state your emergency," the dull voice spoke to me and a sob welled up in my throat.

"Help me," I whispered feeling tears break free from my eyes. "Please, someone help me I'm stuck in my truck in the canal… Please-"

"Rin?" It was Kohaku's voice that had been dull sounding and another sob broke through as fear filled from his side of the phone. "Rin is that you?"

"Kohaku," the water was up to my calves now and I wasn't sure how much oxygen I was wasting by crying. "I was rear-ended, the cab is filling up with water and I need help."

"Can you get out of your truck?" He sounded serious and it had me frightened, more frightened than I had ever been in my entire life.

I spent a moment trying to unbuckle myself only to realize that I wasn't buckled in in the first place, the strap hanging off my left shoulder, the metal clasp broken in half. It was then that I noticed the bloodstains in front of me, the circular pattern of it and I knew why my wind shield was broken. My head had smashed into it after my defective seatbelt gave up on me and now I was going to die.

"I think my leg's broken," I whispered almost inaudibly. I heard him swear and ask me for my location and I gave it to him as I watched the water slowly rising.

The truck lurched and I screamed, my phone slipping into the water and becoming useless. My fists pounded on the horn hoping that someone on the road could hear it, my desperate screams being drowned out by the water above me and all I knew what that I needed to find a way out. It was funny that though I planned to kill myself, when it came down to the bottom line of giving up, I was struggling for a way to fight. I could not let myself drown here, not like this and if I had been strong enough to break the windshield and swim to the surface I would have.

I screamed for help until my throat was raw, warm tears falling uncontrollably down my cheeks because this would be my watery grave. I doubted the fire department or the paramedics would get to me in time and I could feel my body shutting down as the water passed my elbows, the windshield cracking loudly in my ears before it finally gave away.

The pressure of the water hitting me was enough to strangle the air of my chest as well as what was left in the cab and my hands clawed at the broken glass trying to make a bigger hole so I could slip out and I failed. My lungs ached, my leg throbbed and I could see my blood floating in front of me like some cliché movie. I was going to drown.

Slowly my vision went black, reality was slipping away from me and I knew that no longer would I have to hurt. I was free.

I often wondered what death would feel like, what it would be like and if there was a heaven or hell, but all I could see was black. I felt empty, lost and I could not move my body, if I even had one. I felt like I was merely existing, nothing more nothing less and if I could have laughed I would have. It was so ironic.

I faintly heard sirens in the background and an aching pain in my chest and the black lightened to grey. Wasn't I dead? More pressure on my chest yanked me away and a pair of lips forced mine open and I coughed and choked, my entire body convulsing as I was jerked to my side and I vomited.

"Is she alright?" a slurred voice echoed loudly around me and I sputtered for a moment or two longer trying to purge the water from my lungs.

A pair of strong warm hands held me until my retching stopped, my throat adding to the list of things that burned or simply was hurting. I gasped for air as I tried to put the pieces of my jumbled mind together and a masculine voice floated across my ears, gently lulling me into consciousness and forcing my tired eyes to open and as the sirens grew louder I found myself captivated by amber and white.

"What's your name?" He asked, his silver white hair slipping over his shoulders in wet clumps. Why was he wet?

"R-Rin," My teeth chattered and voices called out as the sirens shrieked, flashes of blue and red dancing across my eyes.

Just as suddenly, several pairs of hands were touching me, pulling me and I grabbed onto the amber eyed man, pulling my trembling body against his chest as the hands pulled and tugged and people yelled. What was going on? Who were all these people and why were they hurting me? I screamed as as they handled my leg, probed my body and still I clung to the man in front of me, my teeth chattering and my body trembling in fear and cold.

"Please," I told him as I was tugged away from my strange savior. "Please don't leave me alone. Please-"

Consciousness was fleeting for me and the next time my eyes opened it was to a slightly chilly white room. I could hear the steady beeps and blips of the machines hooked to me and as my brain restarted I could hear the machines grow slightly frantic. Why was I in a hospital?

"You're finally awake," the velvety baritone voice startled me and I glanced over at the man sitting next to me.

His long silver hair was pulled into a tight braid that fell over his shoulder, his bright amber eyes staring at me almost curiously over a pair of reading glasses and I was awed at his presence. "Who are you?"

"My name is Sesshomaru," he spoke evenly and clearly and my mind immediately labeled him as an intellectual.

"How?" I was jumping ahead of myself as his large hands forced me back on my bed, his movements allowing me a glimpse of his finely sculpted chest hidden under his shirt. "I should have died."

"You would have," he spoke at me rather than to me and I found it oddly fitting. "If I hadn't pulled over to see why there was some drunk staring over the edge of that canal the paramedics would not have found you in time. He had said there was someone in the water and I heard your screaming."

"You saved me?"

"Yes," I closed my eyes and swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Why?"

"Why not?" His voice sounded incredulous and if I had been in better spirits I would have laughed.

"Well you don't have to stay any longer if you have somewhere else to be," I told him pretending that I was going back to sleep, not that it was really all that hard as I was exhausted. I did not want him to see my cry, not because I was alive, but because to him I had been worth saving, even if only by definitions of 'why not'.

A pair of soft lips pressed against my forehead and a hand wrapped itself around my own and squeezed gently and it almost undid me. "I will stay so you are not alone."

If I had known that he hadn't meant for the moment, but for a lifetime I would have cried harder.

** E/N: I really liked this one as well... I cried at parts only because some douchebag in my neighborhood really was poisoning the strays and my nine-year old Oreo did die from it back in October... : / **


	21. Chapter 21

**DISCLAIMER**: _Nope, still don't own anything. Not InuYasha, not Rin or Sesshomaru but we'll pretend I own my computer where I hold all of the stories I think up._

_ Side Note: If you have not listened to the song "That Should be Me" by Justin Bieber, I'd advise you to do so. It is really the cement for the thought of this story. _

_ A First Time For Everything_

_ By Miztikal-Dragon_

"**That Should Be Me"- **Justin Bieber

He was surprised to find himself in the crowded church hall, hundreds of quiet murmurs behind him. There were silver ribbons and banners lining the walls with beautiful white and lavender flowers-tulips and lilies if he was correct. It was a beautiful arrangement, subtle and very comforting, something completely opposite of the bride. Honestly, he'd been expecting loud blasts of colors, spots and stripes. An explosion of personality and he hadn't made up his mind to whether or not to be disappointed.

Elegant and reserved was simply not a part of who she was and yet somehow she had pulled it off as though it was second nature to her. The murmur of voices grew louder behind him and casting a glance over his shoulder he saw the small crowd gathering there. They were waiting for him to move, waiting for him to find a seat and he rose his eyebrow at the anxious glances tossed his way before he went down the nearest empty row.

He refused to sit in the front or the middle rows on either side, it was where everyone else would be located; all attempting to see the bride and groom, to capture the perfect picture and he was not trying to do either. So the back row was the perfect place for him. He hadn't even wanted to show up to begin with. He did not attend weddings or funerals in the past, so this one should not have been any different; however, when the invitation arrived in his mailbox, he found himself unable to stop himself from sending in his R.S.V.P instead of throwing the gaudy card away like he wanted to.

And look at where it had gotten him!. He was dressed up on a day off, suit _and_ tie, sitting on a stiff bench in the back of some church waiting for a wedding that he did not want to be at to commence. He could have made an excuse-any would have sufficed and no questions would be asked. No one would have faulted him or blamed him for not showing (not to his face at least), and all of this could have been avoided.

Regret for not finding something better to do was pulling at his stomach as the benches around him began filling up, his particular row staying quite empty much to his relief. He was unsure if he'd be able to stay sane listening to endless chatter on how beautiful everything was or how the bride and groom were perfect for each other because if he did, then no one would be living by the end of the service, not even the pastor. Murdering everyone inside the church was frowned upon in every state and country that he knew of so he pushed it from his mind and tried to keep his mind on less mundane, though not as satisfactory things.

There were still a few clients he had to follow up on, a few hundred files that he needed to put into filing cabinets that his newer secretary had shown signs of being incapable of and a new add to place in the paper if said secretary could not get their act together. His dry cleaning had to be picked up, groceries would have to be bought and then put away. And if he really wanted to, the woman who came to clean his flat could fired and he could clean his own home.

With his thoughts elsewhere, he hadn't kept his attention on the people around him and when the music began it startled him. People he vaguely knew came and went down the isle and if he had cared enough to try to put a name to the faces he was sure he would have known who each of them where. They; however, were all unimportant to him and he watched the ceremony progression with uncaring boredom.

Her father had been dead for more years than he could remember so it was a family friend who ushered the bride down the isle when it came time for her, another face he recognized and blatantly ignored. It was the bride he had come to see (no matter how he rationalized his denials) and he was surprised again by the elegance she displayed. Maybe he shouldn't have been so surprised, it was a wedding after all and though he wanted to believe otherwise, it was _her_ wedding.

At the sight of her, he had to admit that he had been made close to breathless and his heart had skipped a beat. She wasn't swathed in white like he had always thought she would be by her descriptions of perfect wedding dresses, but clothed in a magnificent sweetheart cut dress (something else she had practically drilled into his brain) and it had reminded him of a dress belonging in one of those fairy tales stories she had always been going on and on about. It was a simple dress, no sequins or bows, just smooth fabric down the bodice until it came out in an arch, held up by undoubtedly the scratch uncomfortable material she complained about, not that he could remember what it was called.

The veil covering her face went only a little past her chin, more out of safety of the bride and anyone in her path than practicality; the longer part secured over her head as her simple, yet light-weight train. His gaze followed her, thousands of thoughts rushing by him as she grew further from him, disappointment and quiet desperation filing his chest.

His fingers clutched at the material of trousers as he willed himself to stay seated. The sudden urge to stop the ceremony around him was becoming overwhelming, the need to tear her away from this ridiculous event and tell her she was once again, doing something stupid, but he struggled to quash it. He did not want her to get married, he realized, not to the groom she was closing in on and he bit down on his tongue as it began.

How many nights had she spent laying in his arms rambling on about wedding dresses, about styles and cuts and her dreams of the perfect day and he had blown them off without thinking. He hadn't been wanting a marriage, hell even a commitment that could transform into a possibility of such an outcome and now he wasn't wanting the same for her. He was trapped in the past, how her small fingers laced his larger ones, how she smiled at him in a way that made his toes curl and his insides melt. He missed the way her lips tasted after crying over some silly movie or novel, or the way she laughed at him for the most unbelievable reasons like the way he brushed his teeth in the morning.

He had forgotten about the subtle her lips quirked into a smile when she was up to something or the overdramatic way she behaved while she was angry or felt wronged. So many things were attaching him now and he frowned angrily as the world merely went on without him, how she could pick up the pieces of her life so easily and walk away from him and permanently.

Quietly he seethed and thought of why he should stop her from making the biggest mistake of her life, stop her from giving her love to a man that was not him and though he knew he should have done it much sooner, better late than never right? He forced his ears to listen for the moment he could make his rebuttal to her decision, to stake his claim on her and end this pointless parade of bad ideas and wrong turns and set things right.

He waited for the moment, waited for the words and when they finally came emptiness filled the church and several pairs of eyes ghosted back in his direction almost urgently. Adrenaline pulsed in his veins and he stared at her almost pleading her to back out (not that he would actually do such) and her eyes did the same, but begging for him to stay silent. Suddenly he was at a loss, he wanted to say something, anything that would make her his again, but he could not formulate the words, could not get them to leave his chest and he said nothing.

It ended without him knowing, the intimate kiss between bride and groom as they became one, the cheers and the people filing out after the now happily married couple departed. He stayed seated, figuratively stuck to the bench as the numbers dwindled, his eyes glued to his fisted hands. He was angry at himself, bitter and so many other emotions rolled into one big ball of crazy that he could barely process that it was all over.

"I always thought you two would end up together," a soft baritone voice said lightly, signaling a guest to his inner turmoil and he refused to spare a glance at the intruder. His family never did know when not to pry.

His brother continued on with his monologue, the tiring, beautiful ceremony, how things had a knack for being unexpected and how happy she looked, how her smile was one everybody commented how radiant it was. The words were eating at him, devouring him and he felt as though he was stuck in a hole that he could not find his way out of.

"It should have been you up there with her," his brother said bluntly, his voice even with conviction and he could feel himself breaking.

"For once in your pathetic existence shut up InuYasha," he didn't need his brother pointing out the obvious, not when he was thinking the same thing deep enough to cause pain. He didn't need the reminder that everything had gone to hell in a hand basket because he hadn't cared enough to horde what he hadn't known was important.

"Sesshomaru, I-"

"Enough," he growled getting to his feet and straightening the wrinkles from his clothing.

Sesshomaru did not want to see the pity in his younger brothers eyes, or the silent accusation that he did not do enough to hold onto what had been his. It was not his fault that she had said yes to the sudden marriage proposal from another guy, it wasn't his fault that she had fallen in love with another man, no matter how wrong it felt to him. There was no longer any room for the could haves, would haves, should haves, or what if's and he wasn't planning on making anymore for them as they were nothing but excuses now.

He was the last to leave the church and one of the last to arrive to the banquet hall for the after-party. It was yet another thing he did not want to attend that he found himself at anyway. People cluttered the tables with their chatter, faces animated and happy and he felt out of place. He wasn't happy, not anywhere near such and hadn't been in what was now an eternity.

The toasts were over and he could see her spinning around care freely on the dance floor, her smile shaving the sides of the hole in his chest, expanding the emptiness and he let a frown slip onto his face. This was not where he wanted to be, not in his current situation and he silently promised himself that he would never let himself get this way again. There would be no pining, no longing for a woman or for something he could not handle.

He realized a little too late that what he had felt with her was love, a burning passionate love that, when it was gone nearly destroyed him and it was too dangerous now to attempt to gamble with that feeling again.

"Sesshomaru?" Her voice drifted into his ears and he would have laughed at himself had he been the type.

Without even thinking he had gone to her, his feet on a mission he could not comprehend and silently he offered his hand to her. She stared at him for the longest moment of his life before she took his offer with uncertainty. It felt alien, her fingers folding over his hand, her other hand resting gently on his shoulder, but at the same time if felt so right. She fitted him perfectly, like she belonged with him and he held her as close as he could as he lead her into a new song.

The veil was long gone and Sesshomaru noticed the messy bun she kept her hair in, the way the long midnight colored strands of her hair curled around her face, her uneven bangs giving her eyes an allure he had once labeled as her 'bedroom look'. It made him ache for her being so close, the way they moved in time to the orchestra playing. Her smile was hesitant, almost shy and if it had been any other day besides her wedding day he would not have ignored the urge to kiss her slightly parted pouty, lips.

He was able to control his urges as the song ended and she pulled away. He had to come to terms that she was not his and now, would probably never be and he had to accept it. She did not belong to him, could not belong to him and though he felt his heart breaking a little more than he thought it could, he swallowed it.

"You look beautiful Rin," he whispered softly, his hand touching her cheek as his lips dusted across her forehead. "Kohaku is a lucky man, I'm happy for you."

Tears glistened in her eyes refusing to fall and a smile he remembered being solely for him graced him once again. "Thank you."

He did give her the 'I love you' he had neglected to give her before or tell her that she was making the biggest mistake of her life because it did not matter. She had made her choice and in the grand scheme of things it was her happiness that truly mattered most. If Kohaku was what she wanted, was whom she loved then there was nothing Sesshomaru could do or say that would change it to his favor. If by staying quiet he could save her from the heartache of what they had been, from tears of pain or anger then he would not say a word.

** E/N:** So it's not really a Rin/Sesshomaru pairing, but this is what happens when I listen to Justin Bieber for two days in a row to and from work. I have a few more stories I'm bouncing off the walls of my truck and my muse Rochelle, hoping to have one or two more finished in a week or so. YAY! Thanks for all the reviews, and please, feel free to leave more on your way out!

The website for the wedding dress I had thought rocked was http-semicolon / www dot glamourousgowns dot co dot uk backslash images backslash morilee backslash blu backslash 4816b dot jpg


	22. Chapter 22

**DISCLAIMER**: _Nope, still don't own anything. Not InuYasha, not Rin or Sesshomaru but we'll pretend I own my computer where I hold all of the stories I think up._

_ Side Note: I do not own the lyrics to "Waking up in Vegas" or "I kissed a girl" by Katy Perry as they are used as a reference in the story below._

_Waking up in Vegas_-Katy Perry

By Miztikal-Dragon

"Come on Rin hurry up we don't have all day!" A voice called out followed quickly by a lean boy with shaggy dark brown hair carrying a duffle bag over his shoulder and a lopsided grin on his face.

"I'm coming!" She shouted sprinting quickly out the front door, her own duffle bag weighing down her small figure. "Christ! Kohaku this things weighs a ton!"

Her laughter was innocent and contagious as Kohaku took the heavier duffle bag and tossed it into the back of his midnight blue Isuzu Trooper, the back door locking when it closed. It was the beginning to an overdue vacation and he was glad that he had been convinced to join her. Six days and seven nights in the city that never slept-twinkling lights and neon signs, and though normally he was against needless gambling and drinking, the idea of being by Rin's side was enough of reason to go.

Kohaku watched Rin as she excitedly climbed into the passenger seat, her window rolling down and with a sharp almost shrill voice beckon him into the vehicle because as she put it he was "stifling her ability to par-teh" He had to smile and simply shake his head at her, she after all was the kind of girl to get excited for an adventure she wasn't even old enough to have, but there she was sitting in his car with her fake I.D card courtesy of Miroku and his years of ability to deceive both female and police offers of his age (whether it be younger or older than he was).

He guessed it was just another reason why he was in love with her-Rin was so full of life, so optimistic, beautiful, smart, and even a touch naïve. Although, Kohaku figured it was more of her naivety that really drew him to her, she was too innocent to be real, but with the confidence of a lamb who thought she was a mighty lion.

So there they were, cruising down the wide open stretch of interstate highway, few cars zipping by others, like them, going fast enough to gain miles quickly, but slow enough that the endless landscape wasn't a blur of colors. The radio was on and Kohaku sighed heavily as he stared out the window, he just couldn't help but relax-almost to the point of sleep, well at least that is if Rin wasn't chiming along rather loudly to the song playing.

"..I kissed a girl and I liked it!" She sang off key and at the top of her lungs, the long strands of her ebony hair whipping around like a wind chime during a tornado. "The taste of her cherry chap stick…"

They had traded off on driving over an hour ago at the last 'stop 'n' go' gas station they came to and though she was a very animated driver, she was careful enough that Kohaku didn't have to worry about her swerving them into a ditch or fellow driver with her almost distracted head banging. The time Rin spent concentrated on the road in front of her was time that Kohaku spent watching her, mentally tallying up all the things that he loved about her, all the things that made it worth his while being her friend for so long.

It also gave him time to kick himself for not jumping at being more than just her close friend. He had had his chance during high school, he remembered it plainer than day and how it was left up in the air due to his indecisiveness. There hadn't been an opportunity since, maybe because of one reason or another, but it had been staring at him in the face, his silent failure and this time he wasn't going to let a second chance to go to waste.

Rin glanced over her shoulder at Kohaku's sleeping face, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. It was one of those days, she told herself, one of those days she could feel Kohaku's maddening stares penetrating her very core and it made her shiver slightly. He was her boy next door, the best friend that was so hard not to fall in love with and the best thing that had ever happened to her.

He was the reclusive nice guy and though he was everything she could have dreamt up for her fairy tale of awesomeness, she couldn't help but bite down on her lower lip. There were feelings in her stomach, butterflies that fluttered wildly, but on mending wings. It made her think of high school and how she put herself on a ledge and he had given her the nice guy, best friend routine and consequently shoved her to her death.

With her pride seriously bleeding, Rin had closed off the part of her heart that belonged to the slumbering boy next to her. Yeah, she loved him, loved him like it was nobody's business; however, she wasn't ready to be hurt again, not by him. So like a sucker she waited for him to make a move, waiting for any sign that the soft looks she sometimes caught in his eyes would allow her to jump out of the ashes of her broken heart like a burning phoenix.

Though she could honestly say if wishes were horses, then she'd be riding off into the sunset on a freaking unicorn. Stop it, she told herself forcing herself to stare out at the open road. There was no room for such thoughts, not when she was in the beginning stages of a vacation that she hoped was life-changing. She needed something that dramatic and Las Vegas was calling her like a beautiful, beautiful siren.

A few hours later they were parked, checked in and unpacking their duffle bags into the hotel provided dressers. Separate rooms were a must, but it didn't stop Rin from flinging Kohaku's door open, mid squeal as she showed him all the mini-stuff she found loitering in her bathroom. His chuckles made a small blush stain her cheeks, her newly cut bangs slanting down the left side of her face.

It was an added bonus to her search for better things, and though she thought color would have completed her new look, the deep blue had faded out after a few days, but to her surprise it left a slight hue given the proper lighting. Miroku said it have given her close to a nymph look and though perverted were most of his suggestions, she hoped that he was honest.

Kohaku had urged Rin to her room to get ready for the first night, explaining to her that if anyone was going to believe her to be the age she claimed, then she needed to slip into something more mature. As if, she scoffed throwing another t-shirt onto the queen sized hotel bed. She didn't have to look the part, hell, there were many girls over the age of twenty one who looked almost twelve, and even more girls younger seemingly almost thirty in appearance.

She didn't have to smother her face in foundation and pore-clogging make up to look older, all she needed were the right clothes, and boy did she have that particular area covered. Out of the large duffle bag she pulled out a pair of tight, less than thigh high black shorts, the kind of pair that if her mother would have been alive to see her, would have dragged her back to Phoenix by her long hair. Her shirt was a cross between satin and spandex, silver draping delicately over her shoulder and giving out the barest of peeks to her breasts strategically lifted with her push up bra.

It was loose, yet like a second skin, stretching and molding to her body as she turned in front of the bathroom mirror. Rin could already imagine the music blaring in her ears, the heat of a dance floor standing there in the comforts of her hotel bathroom and it made her laugh. She was already thinking about going out of the hotel, out of the casino and instead of gambling her night away, making the most of it at random clubs or bars.

Heels, unfortunately were a must with her current outfit and grudgingly she slipped on the silver skinny monsters, lacing up the ribbon right below her calves. They would undoubtedly be the bane of her existence in the morning, yet for right now they were worth it. It gave her measly five foot two an instant jump to five foot five, and it added length to her already smooth legs.

Hearing the loud knocking on her door, Rin scrambled to finish getting ready, throwing on a pair of oversized hoop earrings and swiping some dark colored eyeliner on her eyes. Her hair had that messy, just got out of bed look and though she wished she could brush it down she left it as is and grabbed her fake I.D and a small wad of cash and stashing it in her cleavage before answering the door.

Kohaku greeted her on the other side, his chocolate eyes widening and if it had been one of the beloved cartoons she watched growing up, his jaw would have smashed into the floor and shattered into a million pieces. She felt her cheeks heat from his stare, her teeth worrying on her lower lip until he suddenly snapped out of his staring stupor and graced her with one of his a hundred watt lopsided smiles.

"Wow," he whispered to himself and Rin rolled her eyes, gently pushing him away from the door. Did all men become idiots in the presence of a dolled up girl? Because if they were, Rin wondered if she had over dressed.

"Come on lets go!" She said loudly, grabbing his arm and pulling him down the hallway. "We don't have all night to waste hanging out here at the hotel. I need a drink and you promised me a good time!"

"W-where's your purse Rin?" Finally she thought to herself glancing up at him from inside the elevator, captain obvious arrives to the conversation.

"No purse," she commented off handedly as she jabbed the buttons in front of her. "I have breast money."

"W-What?" Rin hadn't heard his voice break since he turned twelve and she barely managed to hold back the cackle of laughter building in her throat.

"You know breast money," she wanted to start this night off with a bang, so leaving behind her embarrassment was more important than a cute lacy thong and bra set underneath her clothing and she was more than willing to comply. "Since I'm going to be drinking I didn't really think it would be good to lose a purse so I put everything I might need in my bra.. You know breast money!"

If she could have predicted that in seconds the boy next to her could go from light blushing to tomato red, she would have brought her cell phone along to capture it and send it to his sister. He seemed to ponder her response but gave no reply and she was fine with that. Tonight would be a night of surprises she was certain and she only hoped that they were the good kind.

Drinks came in tall skinny glasses, fat short glasses, shot glasses, and though she was more than willing to try them all, it wasn't even two hours since they first set out that Rin found herself completely bored with her surroundings. Okay, so she knew that coming to Vegas meant that their hotel probably was a part of a Casino, that there would be slot machines and game tables as far as the eye could possibly want to see, but it wasn't the upscale imitation that she desired. She wanted the bump and grind of something a little dirty, maybe shadier and dangerous. Rin wanted excitement, not a yawn fest and though she would never have the heart to tell Kohaku he was plumb boring, the number of drinks she had to try and quell the boredom had loosened her up enough to forget about sparing his feelings.

"Kohaku," she whined leaning onto his shoulder as he played a game, or twelve at the black jack table. "I'm so-o freaking bored, lets do something else."

"A little busy," his hand waved her off and she frowned angrily. Boys who had a gambling problem say what? "Hit me."

If there was one thing she hated, it was being ignored for a game that he was obviously losing and throwing a curse or two at him from under her breath she did as he commanded and punched his arm. Several pairs of eyes watched her, the once rowdy table going silent and as Kohaku's eyes finally glanced up at her she fought back the need to claw at his face.

"What was that for?" He questioned rubbing the offended appendage and it only made her frown deepen. Leave it up to Kohaku to know how to make a girl feel appreciated.

"I did as suggested," she spat clutching the glass of liquor in her hand. "I hit you, god you're such an ass."

His attention wavered as he placed another bet, the dealer flipping out cards like a magician. Rin wondered if she should have been more offended at him for inviting her to watch him gamble away all of his money, or that he was blatantly ignoring her to play a game of cards. "You're drunk, go back to the hotel I'll meet up with you later."

Bang! Crash! Lightning flashed! Well not really, but if Rin's anger had been a storm or a volcano she would have burst hot lava all over the dumb Casino and instantly killed Kohaku with the burning hatred smothering her for him. She wanted to throw the rest of her drink at him to get his head cleared, but knew that would only provoke him and escalate the bad situation further and possibly lead to her arrest. Instead, she simply downed her drink and smashed Kohaku's hand underneath it, her icy glare hurdling daggers at his confused gaze.

"I'll show you drunk!" And she meant it.

Leaving angry was never a good thing, anger meant alcohol and alcohol had the possibility of stupid ideas and so on, but Rin refused to be deterred as she stormed away flipping her hair over her shoulder. She could hear Kohaku's voice trailing behind her, his thudding steps as she quickly hurried from the lavish hotel and out into the open air. She was determined to show him that she didn't need him to ruin her vacation, she was more than capable of doing it herself.

"Rin wait!" His fingers wrapped around her upper arm pulling her back towards the comforts of the Casino and without thinking she swung herself at him doing something she never thought possible, promptly slugging him in the stomach.

He immediately curled around his stomach, a surprised cry escaping from his lips; unfortunately for him, the moment he let go Rin was once again on the move. Her timing seemed perfect as a yellow taxi cab pulled up and without so much as a thought to Kohaku's pain, she yanked open the back door and threw herself in and onto an awaiting lap.

"Go!" she growled, her spine straightening as a low chuckle filled her ear. Part of her screamed that she should have been paying attention, hell she would have screamed bloody murder in any different situation, though, at the moment she was too worked up to do anything but slide over the warm lap and directly into the middle of her unknown guests.

"A lover's quarrel?" a baritone voice laughed as the taxi drifted down the road.

"As if," she spat crossing her arms over her shoulders like a pouting child.

Despite the poorly lit taxi, Rin was able to clearly see her ride companions. She was almost uncomfortably sandwiched in between two males, their long silver hair putting hers to shame and then some. They were very handsome, and attractive, and though they shared similar features they were different. The one to her right, her lap captive had warm and expressive eyes, thick yet distinctive eyebrows and a lopsided grin that made her blush. He gave off the arrogant vibe, the one that let girls know that he was dead sexy and had no problem flaunting it. A heartbreaker.

The other to her left came off as the strong silent type, his glare able to freeze her on contact. It made her think of the glare she gave Kohaku, yet there was something in the warm amber eyes that made it even more chilling. It was like disgust mixed with some unknown emotion she couldn't place, though with her behavior she wasn't surprised that someone was disgusted with her. Things just had a way of happening like that.

"So where are we off to tonight?" The man to her right piped up drawing her attention from angry pools of amber.

"Some place fun!" She decided ignoring the fact that the men next to her could be the serial rapist kind. She was going into the worst situation and hoping that it turned out to be the right one. "I'm so tired of boring Casinos, isn't there like a club or something?"

"I know exactly the place," her decidedly talkative companion laughed before mumbling direction to the taxi driver. "The name's InuYasha, by the way."

"Rin," she reciprocated shaking the offered hand and flashing her pearly whites.

As InuYasha indirectly promised, the cab pulled over amidst the neon signs Rin had began to grow accustomed to. They had chatted about random subjects during the ride, things that Rin found oddly surprising and her other companion continued to do what apparently was normal, he stayed silent. InuYasha was comfortable, confident, and despite her original assessment, happily engaged.

Once he had stared talking about his fiancée, his eyes sparkled like an adolescent child's and all he could talk about was his beautiful girl. Rin vaguely remembered the name Kagome falling from InuYasha's mouth more than once like some kind of mindless mantra, but she couldn't deny that it was cute that he never seemed to run out of the words to say about her.

His appraisals dropped her back into the hole she'd been desperately trying to climb out of with Kohaku, and a part of her wondered why her childhood friend couldn't be more like InuYasha. Then again, it was painfully obvious that she had liked Kohaku for his own personality flaws, his very nature, and yet now she wasn't finding it attractive in the slightest. She didn't want to think like that, Rin reminded herself as InuYasha slid out of the dark cab and she was damned if she was going to let thoughts of Kohaku ruin a good time.

"Come on grumpy," she smiled softly wrapping her fingers around her still unnamed companion's hand and pulling him from the comforts of the metal vehicle. "Let's not waste more time being all broody and moody like some pre-pubescent teenager."

His glare was icier than earlier, the fine hairs on her arms and the back of her neck evidence of it. His amber eyes stared at her, watched her with a holier-than-thou feeling and she wanted to see if there was another emotion that maybe fit them better than what they were wearing. Rin noticed that he had yet to speak a word, his hand pulling from hers, yet his feet still trekked forward making Rin all aware of the intense body heat he produced.

She wanted to sink into it, wanted to be shrouded in it for selfish reasons and in the end she opted for hooking her arm around his and taking it hostage as the loud booming bass lulled her into the club. It wasn't what she was expecting on the outside, no fluorescent lights, no colorful strobe lights attacking unsuspecting clubbers with seizures-it was almost plain.

"Well isn't this quaint," she said to no one in particular and her lips quirked into a small smile hearing the male next to her scoff at her assumption.

"Looks can be deceiving," her nameless beauty chose that moment to leave her and head off in the sea of people, immediately melting away from her vision like some wanton wet dream.

He was reclusive, obviously intelligent, more than just a handsome face and at the moment all Rin wanted to do was take a bite out of his well sculpted ass as it swayed with movement. Oh yeah, eye-candy gone wild! Her animalistic wild lust for the stranger was forgotten though, as the music changed, a familiar song echoing in her ears and with a squeal of excitement Rin was lost in the crowd, her body swaying and bobbing to the waves of the moving bodies.

-O-

If there was one thing he hated, it was the immaturity of the youth he was surrounded by. Brainless zombies flocking to pricy hotels, or cheap ones for that matter and wasting their limited money on something that would never last. Some would call it a lack of control, others could pipe up with irresponsibility; However, he called it like any level-headed person would-utter stupidity.

There were other things that he could very well be doing at this precise moment other than wasting it in the city that never slept due to drug and or drink induced stupors. He had paperwork that needed to be done, computer software that needed to be backed up and installed, clients that paid him for his opinion, not to use the money they paid him for some over extravagant vacation he refused to believe he needed.

Sure the physician at the hospital claimed differently, but who was he, just some glorified doctor who couldn't have been older than twenty. There was no use putting any stock into what the child had spouted off like some experienced professional. So he had suffered a mild heart attack, sure it could have been linked to overworking and an endless amount of stress, but he wasn't weak and he wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary.

He had spent his entire life working, working hard, he might add and no hoity-toity doctor was going to stand in front of him and order him not to work for a week. That was ridiculous! If he wasn't there to make sure everything got done, nothing would and he couldn't leave it for the imbeciles and toddlers at the firm to do. For Pete's sake, he wasn't even sure if they knew how to tie their own shoes since he had only seen them stare off into space and pick their noses like common monkeys.

If he wanted something done correctly, he had to do it himself, it was his motto and he had refused to budge on the matter. Of course, life had a nasty habit of throwing curve balls and after the ill-fated hospital visit he was back at work ready to go on with life, he found out that not only couldn't he get into his system, but he had been completely locked out of everything having to deal with anything. His meddling brother had some unknown computer technician come in while no one else was their to stop him and robbed him of all the simple pleasures he had left and he did not like surprises like that.

"Sesshomaru lighten up," InuYasha bounded up to his side and Sesshomaru couldn't suppress the snarl that escaped his throat, speak of the devil and he arrives wearing bells. "Don't make me tell Shippo that you refused to follow his strict orders!"

Hearing InuYasha mention the name of the child doctor had Sesshomaru seeing red and if he had had claws, InuYasha would have been faceless, and more than likely lifeless when he was finished. Instead of the violence he longed to pummel his pathetic half brother, Sesshomaru merely shot him an icy glare before focusing his attention on the glass of amber liquor resting in his hand. Just because he was on vacation didn't mean he had to enjoy it.

-O-

Rin didn't know how much time she had spent amongst the other club patrons, squeezed tight between hot bodies and carelessly roaming hands. All she could hear was the music around her, the pulsing beat ordering her muscles to move, hypnotizing her and she loved every second of it. This was definitely better than hanging out doing nothing but playing black jack or craps, or even a slot machine or two, but then again she was sure it would have been if someone she refused to mention had invited her and not tossed her off to the side.

He was the reason she guarded her heart, he couldn't be trusted with it and any chance Kohaku might have had was now gone. Rin didn't want anything to do with him if he couldn't get his head out of his ass and so she thought 'good riddance'. Of course she would still be his friend, they had grown up together after all; but she would never allow him passed the friend zone, he didn't deserve it and she wouldn't second guess herself now.

The song blaring out from the speakers slowed down in tempo and Rin found herself heading back towards the bar, her sudden thirst seeming unquenchable. She could feel the light sheen of sweat on the back of her neck, the heat of every dancing body and her own sinking into her bones and she decided it was a good feeling. Ordering a drink she smiled lightly not minding that she had to pull out her ID card from its hiding spot in her bra and hand it over to the rather attractive bartender, his wolfish grin growing wider as he handed the plastic card back to her. Her body still swayed side to side as she let the strong liquor pour down her throat, it's warmth hugging her stomach in ways that had her smiling.

The cute bartender placed a drink down next to her and without thinking she glanced to her side and instantly spotted silver and amber and the smile on her face widened, her white teeth glowing under the dimmed lights. Leaving cash on the bar for the blue eyed bartender, Rin picked up her drink and sauntered over to brooding, but tall and handsome, her hip bumping his elbow. "What's a place like you doing in a boy like this?"

It had been stupid way of striking up a conversation with him, she knew that much, but the urge to try and make the stoic man smile was overpowering. It was as if he had his own gravitation pull to him and despite the dirty look he shot her, she pulled the closest stool to her and sat next to him.

"I'm only bothering because cute boys like you shouldn't look so lonely," if she hadn't been drinking for most of the night she knew she couldn't have had the courage to speak so brashly.

"I'm not lonely," he spat tossing back his drinking and signaling the bartender to give him another. "Don't you have someone else you can bother?"

"Why would I want to bother anyone else?" She told him bluntly, silently daring him to meet her eyes. "You're the only one here not having fun."

"That's absurd," he replied coolly as the bartender refilled his drink.

She was still trying to figure out what he was drinking, Crowne Royal maybe, Scotch, probably but she eyed him curiously as he fingered the rim of the glass, his manicured nails catching her gaze momentarily with their perfection. He looked like the uptight kind of person, one who preferred things a certain way and definitely not one for a 'night out' or a club hitter for sure. However InuYasha had managed to get him out of the office or whatever it was that he did, she was almost grateful for. If anything, she could honestly say that her night was interesting.

"It's true," she told him shrugging her shoulders sheepishly. "The only other person pouting as bad as you is the bartender and that's because he can look but not touch."

Those enigmatic amber eyes focused on her then, silently asking her if she were really an idiot and it made her laugh loudly as she finished her drink and left a ten on the bar. She may not have even known his name yet, or anything about him for that matter, but he definitely was something. Hopping off the stool she had been perched she snatched his drink away and held it out of his reach. He did not seem entirely flabbergasted at her move, but he did reach for it, even if only out of principle alone. She laughed again and maneuvered herself to where if he took said drink by force his chest would have to have been pressed flush against hers.

"Oooh, free drink," a hand snatched it from Rin and laughed loudly. "Rin, you shouldn't have!"

"Um," Rin glanced between the two men, not quite certain if the older of the two would kick start to the brawl by the look of his eyes, but she hoped that the three of them wouldn't get kicked out of the club.

"Oh go dance with her Sesshomaru," InuYasha jabbed throwing a twenty on the bar and ordering another drink for himself. "I know that it's not everyday a girl almost half your age hits on you… Besides, she's kind of cute, so give her a chance."

"No." He was curt and demanding and Rin thought that he would have walked out already.

"Please Sesshomaru," she said softly, looking at him from underneath her bangs, her teeth worrying on her lower lip slightly hoping that it would pay off.

There had been something in the way she had looked at him then, an innocent seduction and it left him unable to say no. Sesshomaru allowed her to pull him onto the dance floor, did not hesitate as she began to sway against him. Her movements were hypnotic, deliciously so and he questioned his sense of drunkenness as he felt the warmth of the alcohol he consumed earlier creep up his chest. He did not need to pay attention to the music around him, nor the people, not when his gaze was on her, the way her hair tumbled over her shoulders, the way her shirt shimmered underneath the lights and for the first him in what he was certain to be ages, he desired someone.

Neither of them had any idea of what time it was as the night progressed, or the copious amounts of alcohol InuYasha had kept supplying them with. At one point they had all left the club, the cold air momentarily sobering Rin, but once she was submerged back into the warmth of another location she could feel herself sinking again. Music was still playing in her head along with the quick-paced beating of her heart and something else entirely in her stomach. She wasn't feeling sick, but as if she had been given the elixir of life and it had her feeling like she never had her eyes open to the world like they were now.

InuYasha eventually said goodnight to them and headed back towards his hotel room; however she had not been ready to call it a night. She had spent most of the night attempting to get Sesshomaru to let loose and now that he had she was unwilling to see it end. A drunk Sesshomaru was an interesting Sesshomaru, she found out as he invited her into his room with all intentive purposes of beating her at chess. She had been surprised that he had actually brought a chess board with him on a vacation, but that did not mean she was unwilling to learn.

Before they had started playing, Sesshomaru had raided the mini-bar and the two of them sat at the small coffee table as he explained the rules to her and she desperately tried to listen. Rin hadn't thought it to be a bad idea sitting next to him as he explained, their elbows bumping as she swayed drunkenly; although, her judgment under the influence was nothing to boast about either.

One moment he was explaining the purpose of a rook, the next, his hand was curving around her jaw, flaring up the heat in her stomach and abdomen. The way his eyes watched her left her breathless until she could no longer stand it and closed the decreasing space between them, her mouth hungry and demanding on his. There was an explosion of fire and electricity underneath her skin as his fingers traveled over it, his body molding against her perfectly as he took control of the kiss, urging her to submit, coaxing her and with a breathy moan she acquiesced.

Her mind was hazy and she groaned tiredly as she tried shoving what was restricting her breathing off her chest. She vaguely remembered the night and rolling over onto her side, she felt a warm hand slide over her skin and a hot body press against her backside, instantly waking her.

"Careful Rin," a baritone voice chastised her and she heard the familiar sound of camera going off. "I wouldn't wake him up yet, he's a grumpy goose in the morning."

Glancing up hesitantly, she spotted the snow-haired male sitting in a chair a few yards away with a dangerously smug look on his face and a digital camera in his hand. She did not need him to tell her she had done something bad, not when she was laying naked in a bed that was not hers and with a soundly sleeping man behind her. It wasn't all that surprising, not with how much she had consumed the night before, but it was more than awkward that InuYasha was in the room now, watching them.

"What are you doing in here InuYasha?" Sesshomaru's voice was grainy and irritated and it startled Rin as his hand pulled her exposed body back under the blankets.

"Well," InuYasha sounded too chipper and if she had been dressed, Rin would have given him a piece of her mind, or at least a good knuckle sandwich. "When eleven came and went and you had yet to emerge from your room, I thought you might be in some kind of distress. Instead I find you shacked up with the babe from last night."

InuYasha shot Rin a suggestive wink and she groaned loudly, hiding her face in the pillows. This was so not looking good at the moment. "Go away."

"Sure thing Rin," InuYasha laughed as he got up from the chair, his grin growing wider as he spotted Rin's shoes, which were still on her feet. "See you in a bit for brunch Sesshomaru. Rin, you're more than welcome to join us, I'm beginning to really like you."

_** E/N:**__ I wasn't too sure if I wanted to leave it there, but then when I really thought about it, I did. I've got ideas for at least two more shorts for this particular story, so it is okay to expect more!_

_ Also, I almost forgot the phrase "Bang, Crash, Lightning Flashed" is used in the play "Into The Woods", I watch it almost religiously and hadn't realized I had put it in the story! It's a really good play, I recommend it for those who like humor and musicals._


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, Rin, Sesshomaru or Billy Joel... but if I could, everyone would hate me.

Side Note: This story is half-way a song fic, but not really... Lol once you read it completely you will understand. Been listening to Billy Joel in my car for the better of two weeks and this idea hit me the other day, but really got a hold of me today as I was driving home.

"Tell her about it" is obviously one of my muses for this story, but if you have heard this song I strongly reccomend listening to it while reading it. This is my attempt at humor, even if only for myself.

"**Tell Her About It"** -_Billy Joel_

It was one of those days.

Sleep had been almost impossible for him the last few nights, constant tossing and turning, uncertain of which he was- hot or cold and he was certain the subconscious problem that his bed was currently supporting a party of one. Truth be told, he had not even been sleeping in his own bed for the last few nights, which could also be contributing to the dwindling hours of sleep per night. At the moment though, every muscle and bone in his body hurt or ached in someway from his head to his legs and none of it was improving on his mood.

He was beginning to question whether or not everything was silently rioting him, giving him grief for his most recent actions (not that be truly believed in fate though). The drycleaners had misplaced his clothing and instead of going to work in a day's old clothes, he had to swallow his pride and go home. That of course was the destination he was avoiding as if it were the plague, or at least ground zero of contamination.

Rin, she was the cause of all his current problems, the epicenter and the memory of the way her eyes glared at him and when she pushed her index finger into his chest infuriated him all over. Honestly, he could admit to himself (and himself alone) that the reasoning behind the latest fight with her was ridiculous and did not warrant such attention, but he was persistent if not dedicated to his convictions to a fault. She would not and refused to understand his reasoning and he felt she was being stupid. Pointing it out to her though, had been one of his biggest mistakes as the fire he normally felt directed at him sexually had been thrown into an area he had not been accustomed to.

She was not normally an angry woman, quick to scorn and place the blame, especially so when it came to anything with him. However, that night she had become a spit fire with less than a blink of an eye, those clear blue eyes blazing with anger and at first it excited him. The adrenaline he had felt radiating off both Rin and himself had pushed him, challenged him and it only escalated both the heat and anger.

The momentary lust he had felt at her temper had faded fast and it left him only irritated and angry and when it did not look like either of them could win, well- him primarily he cut the discussion (if it could have really been called such) short, stated the argument was moot, she was wrong and that he was not going to allow a certain someone's temper to make a fool of them and promptly left.

It was hard he decided, designating who stayed or left during a fight, a choice he had never made before that and he had been half tempted to ask her to remove herself until she cooled down. He was glad although, that those words had been kept strictly to himself as they were most likely to get him into more trouble than they were worth. That and he did not want her to take it as he was ending their relationship and she needed to remove herself from his life. If there was one thing he knew about Rin it was that she was sometimes an extremist and he wanted to be rid of her only momentarily, not permanently.

Anyways, despite knowing that he had no clean clothes to wear while stationed at the hotel closest to his work, he did not want to have to go and fetch new ones- well, not at least while she was there to attempt to place guilt on him. Sure he could have easily gone out and spent the money to get a new pair of clothes or two, but he did not want to give her the satisfaction of knowing she kept him from his home and yet at the same time it felt that doing the opposite would have the same effect.

When he arrived home, the decent sized flat was empty. All of her belongings were still randomly placed throughout the place and much to his annoyance, even more had been strewn about carelessly. Articles of both his and Rin's clothing sat on the couch, countertops dressers and bookshelves and he silently wondered as he picked each piece up and put them away if they were there from tantrum or another reason. The idea of Rin being with another man made him scoff kicking one of her shoes back into the closet and shutting it, a few changes of clothing set carefully over the bed. She wasn't the type of girl, grant it, she hadn't been a lot of things when they had first met and he quickly crushed the thought and threw it away as nonsense.

A quick cold shower took any insane thoughts from his mind and he was gone in under twenty minutes, Rin still nowhere to be found. He left a voicemail for the maintenance man to come and fix the hot water heater as it obviously had not been working properly and after a losing battle with relentless traffic, he had made it to his office… An hour and a half later than normal.

There was no safe way of saying that the day had started off bad because anyone unintelligent enough to comment on his lateness would have suffered a pain-filled and slow torturous death and he almost slammed his briefcase on his desk. He was not a man for the dramatics, besides what he viewed in a theatre or opera (not that he cared for horrible singing anyway) and he checked his behavior at the door of his office, leaving it just open enough to let the other employees know he had arrived, but not enough that it invited anyone to take up space in the doorway.

Flipping the lights on and turning on his monitor he effortlessly checked his messages, both phone and email and rolled his neck from side to side, hoping in vein to loosen the muscles and release the tightness.

_** "Listen boy,**_

_** Don't want to see you let a good thing slip away**_

_** You know I don't like watching anybody make**_

_** The same mistakes I made"***_

Curiously, he gazed at the radio on his desk playing quietly and not remembering if he had left it on before heading out the night before, he switched it off and loaded up the day's schedule and began to work. The song bugged him, not because it was a horrible song, but because it made him think of Rin playing the artist, on days she claimed needed a 'pick-me-up'. He hadn't been surprised, not really, when he found her listening to Billy Joel for days on end, sometimes even Elton John, they were, he told himself, more older tunes for her, but he could see why she liked them. The usual upbeat songs often reminded him of her if he herd them in passing, but since he was not on the best terms with her and she with him, he wanted nothing to do with anything that distracted him.

And he firmly believed that Rin was a distraction.

His fingers flew like lightning across the keys as he typed, his entire attention focused on his task and the silence soothed him, coaxed him to relaxing and within the first hour he felt his spirits rising. It had not been an bad omen, his morning, but just a rough start and it lifted the corners of his lips.

_** "She's a real nice girl**_

_** And she's always there for you**_

_** But a nice girl wouldn't tell you what you should do…."***_

His fingers paused and he lifted his head to glance around the room. The radio was off, he was now one-hundred percent sure of it; however, his ears caught the tune softly playing yet again and threw him off. A quick glance at the clock told him it was only an hour later, with easily nine or so more to go and he sighed heavily stretching his legs under his desk before climbing to his feet.

He needed a distraction from the beginning of a distraction, a hit to his sanity so early in the morning and he allowed himself a quick walk to the break room for a cup of coffee he was certain he did not really need to drink. He did not like consuming so much caffeine before noon, and he had already finished off two cups, one upon waking and the other as he waited in traffic and this third one would easily make him feel jittery.

There were few others congregating in the small break room and he grumbled under his breath about sharing an office with several other companies and need to penny-pinch areas of his life. Why couldn't he have bought the entire office outright and avoided the others? Why did he have to share a floor with idiots and assholes? Next time he was going to send his secretary to fetch coffee, it was what he paid her amongst other things right?

"Hey Sesshomaru!" He liked his coffee with milk and sugar, creamer if milk was not available to his disposal, but this time he took it black to leave off the extra sugar.

He ignored the person attempting to gain his attention and headed back to his office in silence, the steam from his drink instantly making him more thirsty than he had thought himself to be. Ignoring a problem was never the way to solve it, he told himself sardonically as he shut his door with his foot, cutting off another round of "Hey Sesshomaru!" that called to him, but he could smother his problems, mainly the idiot who barged into his office after him.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you it's rude to slam doors in people's faces?" The voice asked seriously, though Sesshomaru questioned the sincerity.

"Hmm." He took a sip of the hot beverage and savored the way the heat worked its way through his stomach and scraping off some of the day's irritation, if 'some' was a loosely used term. "What do you want InuYasha?"

"Here's the accounting files you wanted," two manila folders were more tossed than placed on his desk and he glanced up as InuYasha stood in front of him. "Have you talked to Rin recently?"

InuYasha's arms were crossed over his chest, his body language relaxed and resting against his desk (and that bugged him worse than the idiotic smile on his brother's face). There was something in InuYasha's stance that immediately put him on the defensive and he tightened his grip on the large mug in his hands, attempting to keep his temper in check.

"That is my personal business, none of which is of your concern." His answer to both of them meant an obvious 'no', otherwise InuYasha would not have brought up the topic and Sesshomaru half wanted to growl and tell the other man to get out and leave him alone.

"It would be if Rin wasn't calling Kagome crying every night for the last week because a certain someone has yet to find his way home," the thought of Rin crying froze his blood for a moment and he shut his eyes and put his mug on his desk unless he wanted to break it.

"I don't like repeating myself InuYasha," he said calmly despite what he was beginning to feel. By the way InuYasha's cocky grin was expanding by inches, Sesshomaru did not like the way this conversation was going.

"I'm surprised she puts up with your temper tantrums," InuYasha went on as if he was speaking of the weather. "You don't treat her right for her being your fiancée…" He paused coyly and if Sesshomaru had been holding a pen or pencil it would have broken in half. "Then again, I'm wondering if you agreed to her proposal just to shut her up-I mean you have been engaged for over a year now, and she was the one who proposed-"

"InuYasha!" Sesshomaru growled angrily, his fists clenching and unclenching wishing he could leap over the desk between them and rip his half brother into shreds.

"No need to get your panties in a bunch," InuYasha laughed fanning Sesshomaru's anger with gasoline. "I'm just stating facts. Now if you want my opinion, I think she deserves someone better than you."

"Get out." InuYasha was playing with a thin line of Sesshomaru's control, dancing around it and he would not be responsible if he skewered his half brother with the letter opener in his desk drawer, and the idea was tempting, almost too tempting to resist.

InuYasha did not stay a moment longer and Sesshomaru followed behind him and this time did not hold back as he slammed his door shut, shaking both the walls and several picture frames against them, one falling to the floor and shattering the glass frame. His mind was revolting against him, plotting the ways he was going to murder InuYasha from painful and slow to other methods he did not know where mentally possible, but after several minutes of undisturbed silence he was able to calm himself down enough to think clear enough to know his brother was not worth murdering (well at least not at this point and time).

Several more quiet minutes came and went and Sesshomaru sighed heavily, trusting himself to take another sip of his coffee and pick up where he had left off. His brother was smart enough to not bother him again, unless he had a death wish and this time even their father would not be enough to save him and with that he was able shut off the anger and irritation, though not the oncoming headache.

_** "Listen boy,**_

_** I'm sure that you think you got it all**_

_** Under control.**_

_** You don't want somebody telling you**_

_** The way to stay in someone's soul**_

_** You're a big boy now**_

_** You'll never let her go**_

_** But that's just the kind of thing**_

_** She ought to know"* **_

He paused mid-drink as the song began playing again, the third time if he was counting correctly and he would find out if someone was playing games with him. It was impossible for the same song to be playing over and over again at certain points of the day, especially when it was not some new hit on the radio. Sesshomaru could have understood if more than one Billy Joel song had played, it would have been more easily explainable, but not the same damn one and he frowned feeling a pain in his temple.

Maybe this was just torture from an unseen force, he thought glancing around his room for any other radios he might have missed. He was not above thinking InuYasha had hid another in his office, but after careful observation he came up with nothing and it grated on his nerves.

Caught up in his thoughts he wasn't expecting the loud beeping of his phone's intercom going off and he was unable to keep himself from jumping in his seat, and promptly spilling the rest of his coffee down his shirt and pants. Cursing loudly he fumbled around in search of a stray napkin or paper towel and finding nothing for the second time in a different search he growled and smacked the back of his head against his chair's headrest.

"Um, sir?" a scared voice drifted through the intercom and he glanced down at the red blinking light.

"What?"

"Um-InuYasha wanted me to let you know that he was going to lunch with Rin and would be back later?"'

They were all trying his patience, pushing him, picking at him and he was going to snap and then nobody would be safe.

_** "Tell her about it**_

_** Tell her everything you feel**_

_** Give her every reason to accept**_

_** That you're for real"***_

"Is that your radio playing?" He could feel his eye twitching and even without the third cup of coffee halfway finished he was feeling jittery.

_** "Tell her about it**_

_** Tell her all your crazy dreams**_

_** Let her know you need her**_

_** Let her know how much she means"***_

"Um, yes?" She was hesitant and he almost growled at her fear.

_** "Listen boy**_

_** It's not automatically a certain guarantee**_

_** To insure yourself**_

_** You've got to provide communication constantly"***_

"Turn it off…" His voice was expressionless, as though the calm before the storm and his secretary squeaked before the song shut off and once again, silence.

He worked that way for a few more hours, the click of his fingers against the keyboard or his mouse and he dragged something across the screen. There was nothing to disturb him and though he had opted not to go change his coffee stained clothes, his shirt was in a heap on the floor. He would have to take it to the drycleaners after work and hope, that this time it would not be misplaced or else he would have to find another place to launder his delicates.

He rotated his shoulders as he stretched, glancing down at the clock and surprised at how much time had gone by. Lunch had come and gone and now it was early afternoon and he was seriously contemplating staying late into the night to check over the days work, as he was not sure if he could trust the numbers by his mood alone. Sesshomaru wanted to be done with it all, just blow off all of the important things he knew had to be done and get away. He hadn't had a day as bad as he felt this one was and vaguely wondered if life could be as in those commercials with the "Easy" button and instead have it say "Do over" and restart his day from scratch, avoiding everything that pulled him into a foul mood.

"Hey Sesshomaru," InuYasha's voice came from the intercom and Sesshomaru would have banged his face on his desk if would have done him any good.

"What?"

"Turn your radio onto one-oh-seven-point-two," if he didn't it would start either an argument or InuYasha would annoy him until he did so, even more so if whatever he wanted him to listen to ended before hearing it.

Going against his better judgment, Sesshomaru flipped on the small radio on his desk, tuning it to the correct station expecting some break through news broadcast, trumpets blared and his heart dropped into his stomach before crashing to his feet.

_** "When you love someone**_

_** You're always insecure**_

_** And there's only one good way **_

_** To reassure"***_

"I haven't heard this song in ages!" InuYasha jeered over the intercom and Sesshomaru pinched the bridge of his nose fighting back the migraine now building a nest in his head.

"I hope you die a slow and painful death," Sesshomaru spat hanging up the line.

Honestly, he did not know how much more he could take. Fate, or whatever it was that was messing with him was adamant that this one particular song was all he hear all day long and he no longer had the strength to fight against it. Obviously someone was trying to tell him something whether it be an idiotic brother or a higher power (which even now he still partly doubted) and by being bothered by it they were winning.

He wasn't going to fight it any longer and he quietly listened to the song play out and then play again almost ten minutes later as he continued to push through his work. After the twentieth time played since his last altercation with InuYasha, Sesshomaru was able to tune out the actual music portion of the song . By the fortieth time played, he could say every line and had been humming silently the words. His work went slowly than it should have been given how long he'd been in the office and by seven-thirty, a quarter till eight, he began to ponder the meaning behind the lyrics.

Sesshomaru sometimes was a very closed off person, he knew as much and did not care to wear his emotions on his sleeve. He wasn't saying that he did not have emotions, because that would be a lie. Although, he did keep them under lock and key, allowing what he knew he could control and what he had been raised to show. His thoughts were meant to be his own, not anybody else's and if he wanted someone else to know, they would. He prided himself on his intelligence and being able to school his facial features in a way he thought they should be portrayed and it was one of the things that proved him to be a good businessman.

And yet today, well tonight he was questioning whether or not it was a good thing. Being reserved is what brought Rin to him, a mysterious quality she had told him, but was being too mysterious, too closed off ruining something that could be forever? He could admit to himself that maybe there were things that Sesshomaru could have shared with Rin, tiny things, but that would change the diameter of his relationship with her, change the very structure and she was territory he was unsure of how to proceed on.

She was almost literally his other half. Spontaneous, outspoken and very carefree. Rin cried when she was sad, laughed when something was funny, and she loved more passionately than Sesshomaru knew how. Her being intrigued him and there had been countless nights during the beginning when he had simply watched her sleep trying to figure her out. What was her agenda? Why was she the way she was and coming up very short on answers, he had made plans to figure them out. That had been over four years past and though he had figured some answers to his questions, more had taken their place and he could almost say that everyday was different.

Were there days that she questioned him? He wondered silently as he saved his documents and printed out others, the song still playing in the background, only to his good fortune, less frequently. Did she not believe he cared about her on bad days? Was there more that he should be doing in order to keep her by his side? They weren't comforting questions because it led to other thoughts, thoughts that had the probability of upsetting him and tearing apart his relationship by the seams.

If she questioned him, why keep it to herself? Was it him Rin was questioning or herself? They had been together for so long, did she not know him as well as he knew her and vise versa? It was obvious to him that their problems would not be solved over night and definitely not when he was avoiding their relationship together. They would have to talk and though they could hold a conversation about historic times and places and even certain religions with ease, a serious talk like this would be harder to start and even harder to continue, but like most things that did not want to be done, they would need to be if he wished to stay with her.

_** "She's a trusting soul**_

_** She's put her trust in you**_

_** But a girl like that won't tell you **_

_** What you should do"***_

The majority of her mind was racing out of control. She had spent most of the day pacing back and forth and she was positive she had worn down the carpet to a noticeable degree and she had to make it a point to pick up a new rug to hide it. InuYasha had called her the day before stating he had a scheme that would get Sesshomaru off his high horse and bring him home and though she had not consented, she was more than worried that the younger man had put her relationship in jeopardy. The flat she lived in with Sesshomaru was quiet and dim, and she had spent the better part of the day when she wasn't pacing, cleaning and it had only frayed her nerves even more.

He hadn't been home in almost a week, if you did not count earlier to get a few more changes of clothes while she had been out running errands. And him leaving with more clothes did not bode well to her either. InuYasha had reassured her while they were at lunch that his plan was in action and working perfectly and she contemplated calling Kagome and begging her to leash her boyfriend, and maybe even his mother or father for damage control because anything involving InuYasha had a one-hundred percent chance of getting out of control.

So here she was forcing herself to sit down and keep calm and failing miserably. She did not want to think about the repercussions of InuYasha's actions, not when it could mean driving Sesshomaru away from her even more. She had spent years getting him to trust her, not only with himself but his heart and though she thought herself to be close, she understood that there was more to Sesshomaru. He was stubborn and when he put his foot down there was no point in screaming at him until the cows came home, that would only drive him further away and she had been able to curve around both his temper and his stubbornness (which most times were exactly the same) and come out clean, but not the last time.

Finally giving into the truth that Sesshomaru was not coming home and only thing she had to look forward to was another night spent alone, she grabbed a thoroughly read romance novel and settled herself onto the plush couch with a heavy sigh. She doubted she would sleep and if she did it would be on the couch she was sitting on as she did not think she could stand spending another night in an empty bed, not when it should have been shared with Sesshomaru. The five pound boom box stereo she had brought out from deep within her closet sat on the coffee table playing music she hoped would cheer her up. It normally would and she desperately needed to get her mind off of 'doom-and-gloom' because she did not want to sink any lower than she currently was.

She was drowsing when the click of the door woke her, lost some place between chapter four or five and shaking her head she yawned tiredly. Rin was sluggish as she watched Sesshomaru close the distance between us, an almost murderous look in his eyes and the hardcover book in her hands slipped onto the floor as he slapped opening the CD compartment of her boom box and took out the CD playing, promptly breaking it in half.

"Hey!" Shock filled her as the halves dropped to the floor, her temper immediately flaring as she rushed in a fluid movement to her feet. "What is y-"

Sesshomaru's mouth crashed against hers hungrily, his hand sweeping behind her hair and cupping the back of her neck and pulling her against him fully, his lips parting and tasting her. He swallowed her gasp and dominated her, filling her abdomen with heat and butterflies. She felt hot but cold as gooseflesh covered her bare arms and when he finally pulled away, she was breathless.

"I'm sorry," he whispered against her lips and though it took her a moment to process his words, as they registered she could not hold back her laugh.

She was almost certain he was not apologizing for breaking her CD, but after a kiss like that, she wasn't too worried, it could be replaced. Instead, she dragged Sesshomaru to her, shutting down any other window of opportunity for talking. Neither of them wanted to waste words that could be said other ways. There would be time for talking at a later time, but now she was desperate to feel naked flesh against her as she striped him with eager fingers.

His hands held her, teased and touched her and she arched into him as he claimed her as his own, building her pleasure and the tension before knocking it down like a tower of building blocks. His body had ached for her and he quivered as he came, his hot breath against her neck and his weight settled against her chest. Rin panted heavily trying to get her heart to quit thundering in her ears, her fingers still clutching the long strands of Sesshomaru's long silver hair.

"Sesshomaru," she whispered softly as his hand ran down the side of her body making her shudder. "You're heavy."

His lips feathered soft kisses down her neck and across her collarbone, his body sliding down hers seductively and telling her what was to come. "Ignore it."

"Huh?" her breath hitched as she struggled to put his words together under his torturous tongue and after a moment she could hear her cell phone ringing from the living room where she left it. She cursed under her breath and pushed herself onto her elbows. "It's InuYasha."

Rin hissed as Sesshomaru bit her chest, his teeth slightly hurting, but pooling heat between her legs. She would have continued to ignore it like he had said; however, when it began ringing again she groaned loudly, Sesshomaru's muscles tensing slightly. "If I don't answer it he'll keep calling."

They both knew he would too, just to be an ass and Sesshomaru abruptly pulled away, his amber eyes watching her unblinking. Sliding out of bed, she scurried to the living room and grabbed her phone, smashing her finger over the button that would pick up the call.

"What do you want?" Rin snapped exasperatedly, pulling her hair behind her ears.

"A little busy are we?" She could hear the cockiness in his voice and wanted to take it away.

"InuYasha," She chided in a hushed tone. "As much as I appreciate you wanting to help my relationship with your brother. The next time you try to do anything I'm going to tell your mother."

She did not wait for him to reply, instead she hung up and turned off the sound, tossing the phone onto the couch before heading back to where Sesshomaru was. She had a feeling she was going to be tattling on him anyway, but right now that was not as important as the naked man not in her bed. Sighing heavily she went into the bathroom where she could hear the water running and debated cursing her luck or pulling out her hair, both of which were close to happening anyway.

Steam rose from behind the fog-plated door and hesitantly she bit down on her lower lip. "Are you upset?"

"No," his voice gave no ground on his emotions and it felt like she had taken one step forward and three steps back.

"Can I join you?" She asked softly, unsure of what answer he would present her with.

The door opened and steam poured out silently inviting her and she slipped in as a silly smile found its way onto her face. Sesshomaru stood underneath the rain of water facing her, arms crossed over his chest and closing the door behind her she slid her arms around his waist and placed as chaste kiss on his mouth.

"I love you," she told him ignoring the butterflies in her stomach for a moment.

And he rewarded her with a smile of his own before pulling her under the stream of hot water. "I love you too."

End.

_*Lyrics - "Tell her about it" by Billy Joel._

**E/N:** My muse tells me that often my stories do not end happy and yes, it's true. XD But I hope that you liked this, even a little! And always, please leave comments, good or bad I appreciate them, Mucho mucho!


	24. Chapter 24

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything below, nor do I make any profit.. LAME!**_

"_**Painters" –Jewel**_

"Happy birthday Sesshomaru," Rin spoke into the receiver of her cell phone as she placed the bags in the trunk of her car, pushing aside her overnight bag and making room in the shrinking space. "I'll be over at your place around eight or so, I just have to run a few more errands. Hope you get this message before then."

She was not surprised it was his voicemail she was speaking to and not him. Not when Sesshomaru rarely answered his phones during what he liked to call "work hours". It was silly as he normally was working through the night, most weekends, especially holidays and anniversaries, though just the pre-recorded sound of his voice was enough to calm the nerves that were building in her stomach. This was the first birthday of Sesshomaru's where he was allowing her to make all the plans. He was not obsessive, but neither was he too thrilled to celebrate and if she had not pushed the subject, it would have been nothing more than just another day to him.

Rin understood his mentality on holidays though; she had felt the same way for many years after she lost her family. Back then, holidays were just a reminder of what she was missing, of what she could no longer have and it filled past the brim with bitter regret. It was almost a taboo subject, her family; however Sesshomaru had never been left in the dark about anything, he always found a way to get the truth either be it from her or through his extensive searching. Okay, so maybe he was more than a little obsessive when it came to things he cared for. She did not fault him for being over protective sometimes, or the way he handled people who he thought were trespassing on his territory. In fact, she thought it to be adorable; not that she had the courage to tell him so.

Sesshomaru had abandonment issues, not that he would say it aloud, but she knew the signs. He did not take to change easily, did not care to get chummy or friendly with strangers or distant relatives. He was bad enough that she and his half-brother had been shocked when he had taken a shine to her presence. Rin remembered the struggle to get Sesshomaru to take a chance on her, to come out of his shell and now he was a completely different person. He smiled more.

The cell phone in her pocket rang as she climbed into the four-door sedan, and quickly she answered strapping the seatbelt across her shoulder and lap. "Hey there."

"Rin," she could hear the smirk in his voice filling her stomach with countless flapping butterflies.

"Happy birthday," she blushed when he chuckled, easing the vehicle onto the freeway and heading home. "Are you going to be home soon?"

"InuYasha would like for you to babysit tomorrow so he and Kagome may have a night alone." Rin smiled placing her cell phone onto the hands-free adapter she received the month before.

"Okay, no problem." Traffic was light for the time of day and she cruised onward with a sill smile stapled to her face. "They are just worried since we're finally having Jaken put down. You know how they love that mangy cat."

"Hmmm,"

Rin laughed loudly only half watching the headlights growing brighter in her rearview mirror. "Well, I'm almost there. I'll see you in ten or so minutes okay? I've got a surprise for you."

"Okay."

"Don't sound so disappointed silly goose," she chastised warmly. "I love you."

"Love you too,"

Silence greeted her, letting her know that Sesshomaru hung up and she concentrated on easing off the freeway and onto the road that would lead her to her second home. She was anxious to get to his apartment, more excited about celebrating his birthday than Sesshomaru himself was, but the amusement of her antics kept him happy. He would already have dinner ready and waiting, the idea of home cooking making her mouth water and her stomach grumble. If Sesshomaru was one thing, a good cook was it, and he spoiled her by throwing meals together for the two of them.

The sudden impact of something hitting her car wiped the smile off her face, the passenger side window crashing sending glass shards flying at her and stealing a scream of surprise from her lips. Rin did not have time to smash her foot on the gas pedal and save herself, the weight of the vehicle that drove into her, pushing her own vehicle into the concrete guardrail of the highway overpass. In seconds she was pinned, the pressure crushing the driver side door into her leg as the metal began to crumble. She would have cursed cursed newer made cars for how flimsy they seemed to be after an accident if she had been able to.

The roar of her attacker's engine drowned out her screams as she struggled to get her seatbelt off. All of her thoughts were on somehow getting into her backseat and escaping her metal deathtrap. Rin could faintly hear the sirens in the background as frozen pedestrians stared at her through her windshield, their horrified faces haunting her as she felt her car creak and whine.

"Help!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, the sound of breaking concrete making her desperate, her hands yanking violently at the seatbelt that held her in place. "Please help me!"

Everything around her disappeared, it went black as if she had been watching a movie that simply ended, the old VHS tapes filling the screen with snow and she felt the hazy wrongness of the situation slip by her.

"Ma'am?" an unfamiliar voice floated across her ears and she struggled to latch onto it and dig herself out of the fog clouding her mind. Where was she? "Ma'am, just hold on, we'll get you out of there!"

Out of where? She felt dizzy and restrained and when trying to open her eyes she was met with red. She was wet and ached all over, not to mention the agonizing pain playing games with her muscles and limbs. Breathing was hard, making her tired enough to want to close her eyes, but something in the back of her mind told her that sleeping was a bad idea. Hands grabbed her softly, pulling her and she cried out as she was carried to a solid surface. The dizziness had been from being suspended upside down she realized as those hands that held her floated over her body, poking and prodding at all of her aches and pains. It still hurt to breathe, even more so now with the hands hovering at her and within moments the pain lessened.

"Ma'am," the voice was back, but this time it was familiar. "Ma'am if you can hear me and are able to speak, please tell me your name."

"Sesshomaru," it was the only name she could think of, her breath ragged as she fought to form the words.

"Ma'am?"

"Please," she couldn't tell if she was whispering or not, but rasping gasp pouring from her lips was not a good thing. "I can't die today.."

Rapid beeps of machines and blaring sirens were almost unbearable, but she forced herself to speak, the warmth was filling her bones and sucking her away. "Please—his birthday-"

"Ma'am it's okay, we'll help you."

She was not a fool, but it did not hurt to breathe anymore and she felt the corners of her lips rise slightly in a mangled grin. "Don't tell Sesshomaru I died on his birthday, please don't tell him.."

"I won't, I promise," a name popped into her head, one that belonged to the voice and if she could have cried she would have as her eyes slipped closed for the last time.

"Thank you Koga."

E/N: This was a dream I had back on April 1st, but instead of our beloved characters it was me dying and telling them not to tell my mom, whose b-day happens to fall on April fools day. Sometimes I do not like my imagination. Hope you liked it!


	25. Chapter 25

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything below, nor do I make any profit.. LAME!**_

_These are just a few shorts that I did not want to post one at a time... It would have felt pointless to me, since they all were "finished" lol I was playing around with the shuffle button on my laptop music... This is what I got... Hopefully more to come?_

"_**Every Heart" (InuYasha Soundtrack)**_

Kohaku was dying. His blood pooled around his still form and Rin stood frozen in front of him. There was a demon hunting her, trying to claim its revenge with her flesh and though she knew she had to hide to keep herself safe, her feet would not budge. The roar of the crazed demon was behind her as she felt it charge, it would be coming now and though her mind screamed for her to run, she refused. Kohaku was dying, dying to protect the love he held for her and she had let him.

"Save him," she begged feeling the tears slip down her face, the claws of the demon ripping at her flesh, tearing her muscles and draining her of life. "Please save him."

"There will be a price," The baritone voice shook her and her body flinched from her attacker.

"I don't care," if Kohaku died then there was no point of living, no point for anything and she felt her heart breaking.

_** "Say Anything (Else)" Cartel**_

She was done being disappointed. Her belongings were packed and thrown haphazardly into the back of her four-door sedan, and a few of things that she refused to part with as well. She did not care that he would be angry later, especially when he returned home for the night to see that she had swiped anything of value and left him a note of the most peculiar kind. Broken glass littered the expensive carpet and a concoction of grape juice and powdered Kool-Aid dripped down the white walls. She had used her lipstick to draw on the mirrors and anything she could get her hands on that she cared nothing for was destroyed.

Rin knew she would laugh last, even if only for the moment, but switching on her engine she no longer cared. She was tired of the bullshit, tired of the drama, and she was purging it, squeezing the head like a stubborn zit and after a while, she would feel more vindicated than she currently did.

It was time to explore the world.

_** "Kalimba" Mr. Scruff Ninja tuna**_

It was silly. We were not supposed to be playing in the study room, especially not with finger paints and though on any normal day I would have been scared to even try such a blasphemed act, I was not alone. Trouble, it seems, never was a solitary creature and with Kohaku beside me, it was hard to back down from a challenge. He was a shy boy, oddly so and I could not help but feel myself become the aggressor in our relationship.

He was frightened, I could tell by the way his deep brown eyes were dilated and wide, as if at any second we would be found and he would, in return, have to forfeit his life. It was silly because, although we were not supposed to be in this study, any damage sustained would not be of any consequence to me. It was Jaken's sanctuary and not my Sesshomaru's. I deemed it up for grabs so to speak. Bright yellows and blues danced across the walls, reds and oranges smeared on the spines of old books and their cases.

There was no denying such an act would bring about some consequence, leaning more towards punishment, but I was not as scared as Kohaku was, the front of his white shirt stained with the paints I had thrown at him. My Sesshomaru would be upset, for that I was certain, but I was positive that the amusement Jaken would bring while screaming would be well worth it.

_** "You Smile" Justin Beiber**_

I was late again. The clock on the dashboard reminded me with every passing glance, yet the speedometer stayed at its regulated forty-five miles per hour. She would understand that something had kept me from her, kept me indisposed of and though I knew deep down that I did not deserve such devotion there was no denying how much I craved it. It tore at my heart to see her frown, or sad and her tears dissolved my resolve, almost dangerously so. Her smile however, was as radiant as the sun (though I would say nothing to encourage it verbal).

I did not have to do anything but glance at her and no matter what; she would always grace me with a smile that would astound me.

_** "Lost in You" Three Days Grace**_

She was heartbroken. The apartment they shared together was now emptier than it had been in the six years since they moved in. The lights were off and the few candles she had lit earlier illuminated the darkness she felt slipping out from her pores. She loved him, still did when she thought about it and it only made it hurt worse. He humiliated her, shattered her and expected it to be okay. Thousands, hell, millions of people had witnessed his admittance and now it would be forever recorded on network television and played for years to come.

The soft knock on her door was enough to rouse her attention, yet not enough to move her from her spot, the pillow underneath her head soaked with tears and regret. She was ignoring life, silently hating everyone she had trusted who had kept his secrets, pretending that it was not true. She was unsure of who wore the masks and whom she could count on.

"Rin," a baritone voice called to her in a gentle tone she did not recognize.

"Go away," she sniffled tiredly pulling the heavy comforter over her head in attempt to hide herself.

The silence was almost maddening, screaming her naivety and she was unsure if she would be able to keep herself together. The bed dipped next to her, strong hands slipping over her bare shoulder in comfort. It was an unfamiliar feeling, the heat that rose from her flesh at his touch. Cold air brushed against her from the comforter being pulled away sending gooseflesh down her spine.

"Sesshomaru please," Rin felt his body mold around her, his fingers brushing away the strands of hair off her face and catching a few of the fallen tears by accident.

"InuYasha saw the program," he was cautious, treading on thin ice. "I came as soon as I could."

He did not see the surprised look on her face from where she was, but he felt the way her muscles tensed at his words. The phone calls had been pouring in nonstop since last week, some begging for an apology, some yelling at her for rolling over and not expressing her anger and hurt and even the few to blame her for his actions. As if it was somehow her fault that he felt the need to find love in another home; that if she had been a better girlfriend and a better woman, none of this would have happened. She did not have to give back the engagement ring, did not have to let him walk away, but she had and though she did not understand it, she was the reason for his "mistake".

"Why did he do this to me?" Rin turned, slipping into Sesshomaru's loose embrace and hiding her head in his chest. "Why couldn't he have just told me instead of bringing me on national television?"

_** E/N:**_ That's all I have for right now. "lost in you" turned out to be my all time favorite, I shouldn't be allowed to watch Jerry Springer.


	26. Chapter 26

**Diclaimer:** _Why must I keep stating the obvious? We all know I do not own anything here, besides the endless rambling of a poor woman... If I owned, nobody would have loved it as much :)_

_This story is best while listening to the song "A lonely September", I feel it catches the mood of the story best. ENJOY!_

_ "A Lonely September"_ **Plain White T's**

"You're late,"

Her sudden shriek made him smile, his amber eyes following her form as her wide eyes searched for him from the doorway which she stood. Long hair was pulled to the side, braided haphazardly and thrown over her shoulder, long wisps of black framing her still slightly chubby face, reminding him more than occasionally exactly how much of a gap there was between them in age. A black strap was slung over her other shoulder, a large backpack barely noticeable from his current position and several bulging plastic grocery store bags in her hands undoubtedly filled with salty and sweet junk food she claimed she could not live without.

Watching her close the door behind her, he relaxed his annoyed stare to a lazy gaze as she disappeared into the kitchen, her nervous chuckling soft but audible. Pushing the errant strands of his silver hair behind his ear, he climbed to his feet, his hands brushing away the imaginary wrinkles on his slacks and shirt. If he truly thought about it, she was not late, not really; however, he could not help but tease her when the mood was right and the guilty blush he knew would be dusted across the bridge of her nose amused him.

"What are you doing now?" He asked leaning against the kitchen entranceway, his arms crossed loosely over his shoulders in mock irritation.

"Sesshomaru," she smiled brightly and he could not contain the grin that slipped onto his face. "Must you be so impatient?"

"Will you ever arrive on time Rin?" He replied smartly, eyeing the woman in his kitchen

"Low blow Sesshomaru," Rin eyed him back overdramatically as she put a bottle of orange juice in the large stainless steel refrigerator making certain to add a little sway to her hips. "It's not like I can leave whenever I want to. You're so mean to me!"

Rin's pouting lips did two things to Sesshomaru, it excited him in a lustful way and his body ached to have her underneath him, or on top of him, which ever way she ended up and it made him want to chuckle at her childishness. There were little things she did that if any other woman tried it would disgust him and though it struck him as odd, he could not help the way he felt.

"Are you almost ready?" He asked curiously as he watched Rin open all of the cupboards and slam them shut, a bad habit he was still trying to break her of.

"Yeah," she dug into another plastic bag unearthing a box of something Sesshomaru knew would wind up on his floor one way or another and he silently shook his head. "I just gotta burn the popcorn and I'm all yours for the night."

This time he could not keep the chuckle from his throat as Rin puffed out her chest at her statement. Crossing the distance between them, Sesshomaru plucked the box of microwavable popcorn from Rin's eager hands and held it just out of reach. If he wanted to keep his kitchen smoke-free and not have to replace his microwave for the third time he was going to have to be in charge of keeping Rin from his microwave. A mistake he had somehow allowed himself to repeat several times.

"I'll get the popcorn, you can put the movie into the DVD player. I don't need a repeat of last time." He chastised her smacking her butt lightly as she went to pout again, her arms pulling at his t-shirt hoping to get the box back.

"You are so mean!" Rin punched Sesshomaru in the arm as retribution, her mock anger making his eyes roll as he punched in the correct buttons on his microwave. "I don't know why I sleep with you!"

Her tone was playful from the living room and he chose to file her comment away in his mind for a later date. There would be time to tease her about her poor choice of words and even make her beg for mercy and wish she never said them out loud. The corners of his lips tipped again in a lopsided grin as the microwave dinged and carefully to avoid the billowing steam, he dumped the popcorn into a large bowl before heading to the living room.

Rin was sprawled out on the couch, her arms and legs spread out to cover the entire length of the couch, her eyes challenging him playfully and stood silent for a moment, watching the way she squirmed under his headed gaze, her chest rising and falling quickly. Her teeth worried on her lower lip and the sudden urge to kiss her was almost undeniable. There were days she purposely tried his patience and though tonight he knew she was playfully pushing buttons, he did not think she knew the consequences her actions would have.

"Scoot over," his hand lightly smacked her hip as he put the bowl on the coffee table next to the bottle of water and can of soda Rin had taken from the fridge.

"What if I don't wanna?" She was a devil in disguise he told himself, desperately trying to count backward from one-hundred as his eyes caught the bare flesh of her abdomen peeking out from under her shirt.

"Then I will be forced to break my promise," he replied noticing the husky tone his voice had taken.

Rin sighed heavily after an attempted staring contest and pulled herself up to a sitting position. "You think that really scares me? One day you'll give up this façade of protecting my virtue and then the fun will really begin."

"Rin," Sesshomaru groaned sitting next to her, his hand reaching for the remote to turn on the movie waiting for them. She literally would be the death of him with those words and though he knew he could, he was unwilling to go back on his word.

"What?" she was like a tired cat as she lounged against him, her arms wrapped around his chest and her legs tangling in his, making herself comfortable and it relaxed the bones in his body. "One day you won't have your guard up and won't be able to fight against me and my bad touch football. Promise or not, it will happen, even if I have to rape you."

If he had had anything in his mouth he would have spit it out in disbelief. Somehow around Rin Sesshomaru was barely able to keep a hold of his cool and stoic façade and though it was unavoidable alone with her, it scared him when she did it in front of others. She was able to rile him up or surprise him with her random and bright personality, it made his step falter of what he had always behaved and he had not quite decided whether or not it was a good thing.

Sometime after the opening titles Rin had stopped rambling needlessly about this and that, her head resting on his shoulder as she became engrossed in the movie he could not care less about. The only thing that mattered to Sesshomaru was the woman wrapped securely in his right arm and these movie nights he tuned out the film playing and focused his attention on Rin. She wore the expressions on her face like accessories, each one stunningly clear and brilliant and it left him wondering how she found her way to him.

She was seven years younger than him, barely in her senior year of college and somehow the fates had thrown her at him like a tidal wave and at first he had nearly drowned in everything that she was, fighting and flailing desperately trying to get to show and away from her. Now, he realized that his struggling had been pointless. She was her own hurricane and with him standing next to her, she made his boring, mundane life seem a little more interesting.

Never before had he dated a girl with her repertoire, or lack thereof. In fact most of the women from his past had been a cold and calculating as he perceived himself to be, a constant battle for control, a growing back draft that would explode and incinerate everything in its path. With Rin there was nothing he needed to prove, no need to keep his hackles raised and it amused him that she thought he had his guard raised around her. It was true, that sexually yes, he did have to keep her within arms reach, but that would only be until her graduation and that was slowly coming around the corner with a quickness he was unprepared for.

She melted his cool exterior and made a home for herself in a heart he had almost believed never existed, burrowing deep inside him that he doubted he would be able to pull all of her out if this ended badly. It frightened him because if they ended up going their separate ways, he felt that Rin would be the only party able to eventually move on with maybe a few scratches, but nothing more. He did not know if he was able to close himself off again and start from ground zero again, not after tasting the vibrant and beautiful person that Rin was and he pushed those thoughts deep inside him. They were not things he could deal with, even if mentally. She had placed her anchors in him so thoroughly that if she left it would destroy him.

The movie credits drifted across the screen catching his attention and Sesshomaru sighed heavily glancing down at Rin. The popcorn bowl was trapped underneath one of her arms, the other clutching his leg, her head resting on his thigh and carefully he pulled the bowl from her grasp and set it back on the coffee table. Her legs were curled on the couch and it baffled him that she was able to trust him so implicitly with her safety and well being because it was something he could have never done. His fingers ran through her hair, the messy braid coming undone and though he knew his thigh would be numb sooner than later with how she was sleeping on it, he couldn't bring himself to move her an inch.

It looked like it would be another night spent sleeping sitting up on the couch, uncomfortable and awkward, but it did not upset him in the slightest. The woman on his lap was quickly becoming the world to him, a spot of sunlight in a storm and the hope that Rin would become a permanent addition to his life. Sesshomaru felt strange staring down at Rin's sleeping form. Strange because he had never known what love felt like, but he was beginning to think he was slowly learning it with Rin's help.

He was falling and it felt perfect.

E/N: This may have come off as a little OOC, but I really loved it. The story for me flowed with the song, it literally was an instant click for me. YAYZ! Working on a few more, hope they will be finished sooner than later.


	27. Chapter 27

**Diclaimer:** _Why must I keep stating the obvious? We all know I do not own anything here, besides the endless rambling of a poor woman... If I owned, nobody would have loved it as much :)_

_A random idea that I ran with. It made me laugh, definitely A/U, maybe just slightly OOC. _

_** "I Don't Like Anyone" -Dream**_

Rin fought back the laughter as she spun herself in circles. The swivel chair would be the death of her, yet she could not properly throw off the stress of her day without the familiar dizzy feeling it gave her. People had their notions of unwinding from a hard day, hers were definitely more off the wall than normal and yet it served the same purpose. The only difference was it was not the day-to-day stress that got her down in the dumps and dragging by the afternoon, hers was purely centered around the man who would be walking through the front door in under twenty minutes, less if she searched for a clock with the appropriate time on it.

The chair came to a stop, her smile growing larger as the room continued to spin in circles, effectively putting her in an all together better mood. The computer monitor behind her beeped and she ignored it in favor of the dance music playing loudly from her bedroom. She did not care if her neighbors complained about the loudness of the music, not even when they banged on the walls during one of her frequent trips down adolescent lane, not everyone could appreciate the true depth and talent of boy-bands like "N*sync" or the "Backstreet boys". Rin's close friends and some distant family urged her constantly to find a better apartment building-hell a better area to live in, yet she couldn't see the point in uprooting her life when she liked where she was now.

Did it truly matter that she liked living the life of a girl with a beer budget? She liked the small one-bedroom apartment that had creaky wooden floors, temperamental heating and thin walls. It was a quaint lifestyle, the starving artist and she just smiled. Other people could have their expensive lofts in the city, drink their expensive wines and wear their expensive clothing, she preferred her dingy old jeans anyway. The truth was she could afford to have more, to have a better home, it was not like she was hurting for money. In fact, she had more than she cared to say and to her it was sitting in the bank gathering interest for a rainy day or spark of interest.

She sang along horribly to the chorus playing as she wandered into her kitchen and into the freezer where her not so secret stash of pistachio ice cream was seductively calling her name. Today had been a surprisingly dull day, not that the life of a computer programmer was as dangerous as the Civil War reenactments she had dragged Kohaku to the year before had been. Next time she was taking someone who left their snotty attitudes at home where they belonged. Rin savored her first bite walking the few feet back to her computer chair and plopping down on it overdramatically.

Her eyes were trained on the large heavy wooden door (something her father had insisted she install as a means of safety), mentally counting down the seconds. She had it down to an art and normally she would crouch somewhere beside the second hand couch that ate anyone who dared to sit in it, waiting for him to open it before pouncing. It was a routine she found pleasure in. Today she would be civil, if only for a moment, as she had a surprise.

"Lucy, I'm home!" She chirped loudly as the door opened like clockwork, her imitation of Ricky Ricardo from 'I Love Lucy' leaving more to be desired.

Curious amber eyes glanced at her, his long silver hair swaying as he stepped through the threshold, the soft leather briefcase held loosely in his hands. Rin snickered at Sesshomaru as his eyebrows arched, letting her know he was interested that he had not wound up being tackled. "Rin,"

"Hello Mr. President," he closed the door behind him, heeling off his shoes and placing them on the small wooden rack she had picked up from a thrift market on a whim.

Sesshomaru was the type of person who's routine of unwinding down included a glass of expensive brandy, a hot shower and on unbearable days, soft classical music. He had the mundane life that others thought to be appealing and sexy, but the only thing sexy about it to her was him. He was raised in the limelight of society, prime and proper, all of the nonsense she brushed off her shoulders, and it amazed her how she had stumbled upon him.

Okay, so stumbled was somewhere along the lines of accidentally introducing her chilidog to his silk tie during a trip downtown; however, the tie was stuffy looking and her replacement for it had suited him so much better. Sesshomaru in her opinion had been too uptight when she had first "met" him, too stuck in his world of flashy lights and monetary gain that she had become obsessed with shaking him up. First she had demanded to reimburse him for what she had ruined, then second she convinced him to part ways with his contact information and then the rest had been sheer determination and spontaneity.

In the end it had been Rin who was surprised with the Sesshomaru that no one saw, the man he was behind closed doors and he was just as odd as she was, but in less obvious of ways.

"You have ice cream on your nose," Sesshomaru took the carton from her hands, his finger swiping the green from her nose before popping the digit into his mouth. His calm expression instantly died, his gaze finding her chest and she saw his shoulders stiffen. "What are you wearing?"

Rin glanced down at her t-shirt innocently, her Cheshire grin expanding as she pulled at the bottom of the shirt, stretching out the design. The idea had hit her a few days before while she was going through the countless photo albums she kept hidden around her apartment. She had gone through a phase with digital cameras that had bordered compulsive obsession. They had been dating for a while now, so Sesshomaru had not batted an eye lash when he had arrived to her apartment sporadically decorated with dozens of digital cameras set up on any flat surface (and a few hanging from the ceiling). He hadn't quite gotten used to the sudden flash blinding him as he woke up during the night, his curses waking her up from a dead sleep and for a moment or two she thought he would suffocate her while she slept.

However, she did give credit where it was due. Sesshomaru always seemed to be able to shrug her quirks off and go with the flow of her mood. It took him a few days to forget the about the cameras and the end result made her heart swell. There were many candid photos of Sesshomaru around her home; him asleep on the couch he hated, Sesshomaru making dinner or going over files that were strewn on her coffee table. Her favorite though was the one currently emblemized on her t-shirt.

He had been tired and she nothing she had done made things better, dinner had been a fiasco and her kitchen ceiling still had faint smoke burns from the slight fire that started after Rin's attempt at stir-fry. Somehow he was able to gather the remnants of her sanity with Chinese take out and a movie. Full from the meal, they had fallen asleep during the film they had fallen asleep and the camera she set up on top of the television set had blessed her with the scene now on her clothing. To say she had been shocked had been an understatement, but it had made her ecstatic to see exactly how relaxed Sesshomaru was when he was completely unguarded.

"What?" she pouted watching Sesshomaru put her ice cream back in the freezer. "Isn't this wicked? It only cost me ten bucks."

"That is absurd," he told her rolling up his sleeves to his elbows, leveling her with a gaze that let her know he was not amused.

Rin rolled her eyes as she spun her chair in slow circles. "No, what is absurd is a man so uptight and serious whose favorite movie is the musical version of 'the producers', that Sesshomaru is absurd, I'm just annoying."

"Then why do I put up with you?" he asked curiously, his lean body leaning against the countertop.

"Because I put out?" she replied sheepishly shrugging her shoulders. "Or because I have great 'assets'?" she waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Hmmm, touché," Sesshomaru was in a playful mood and it excited Rin as she hopped off her chair and closed the distance between the two of them, her lips brushing against his. "Italian or Thai?"

"Thai," tonight was going to be a really good night for the both of them.


	28. Chapter 28

**Diclaimer:** _Why must I keep stating the obvious? We all know I do not own anything here, besides the endless rambling of a poor woman... If I owned, nobody would have loved it as much :)_

_This is because I am an emotional reject :) and I was having problems uploading the previous chapter for three days! Lamesville. More to come!_

_"Give me a Sign" _**Breaking Benjamin**

She was tired. Tired of hearing the lies and the tales men told to get her to go blindly into their beds. If it was not one thing it was another. Most days she felt like a broken down car sitting on a lot, each new onlooker another used-car salesman trying to get her off the lot. They said their lines to get her to doubt herself, the over used phrase, "I am the best..." leaving every possible suitors lips like a valley girls "ums" or "Likes" and the never endings "totally". If another man walked up to her and somehow conned her into giving him her number only to try and sell himself to her, she was going to rip out her hair and do some serious harm to the poor unlucky fool.

Honestly she already had all the problems she could currently handle, and even the bill from her therapist to prove it; however, never did they seem to care. "Hello Rin,"

Rin nodded her head in acknowledgement throwing her bag down at her feet next to the chair she sat in every week for the last two and a half years. Uncaringly, she threw herself onto the plush oversized chair and crossed her arms over her chest. This week had been a hectic one, more so than previous ones she had expirenced in a long time. The anger billowed around her in a violent tornado, smothering her with its invisible grasp and if she could not purge it from her system soon she felt as if she was going to explode and loose a piece of herself that she was unable to live without.

"How are you feeling this week?" His voice was a soft timbre, comforting and filled her with a false sense of safety, that on any other day but today she would have gladly ignored just to keep a hold of the sanity she felt sliping away from her.

"I feel that you could really care less what I'm feeling today." Rin felt helpless with the overwhelming urge to scream and throw a tantrum, to fall to the floor kicking and screaming like a five year old who was told 'no'.

"And why do you say that?"

"Because I pay you three-hundred fucking dollars a week to listen to me, that's why." She kicked off her shoes and moved into a position she was comfortable with. "You're a shrink for fuck's sake. You listen to people who literally cannot function properly and bleed them dry with your prices. Oh, I'm sure you help people, I mean look at me, for the past two years I've been seeing you, and it's kept me from the state pen, where you undoubtedly think I belong anyway. I'm sure when the days is over, you go home to your high-class expensive home and make fun of the idiots who pay someone to be quiet and judge them for an hour once a week."

She did not want to look at the man across from her to see the acknowledgement in his eyes. It was her whom she felt were the idiot. Afterall, wasn't she the very same idiot who was paying a stranger to listen to her talk about her problems and judge her? She heard the scribbling of a pen against paper and wondered if maybe she should be switching to a doctor who could prescribe her medication? The judge she had been in front of had said as much, as well as the doctor who performed her psych evaluation, but no, her father would not let his little girl be "as high as a kite", no daughter of his was a drug-dependent junkie.

"And what brought this on?" This was the most she had ever heard him speak in a session and curiosity was getting the best of her.

Rin closed her eyes letting her head flop onto the armrest. "I don't know."

The silence that greeted her was something she was familiar with and it took the edge off the anger clawing at her. It was a lie and the both of them could see through her fickle answer. The truth was that she was feeling sorry for herself and in return it made her angry. It was the accumliation of pathetic small things that pushed her into a corner, that overwhelmed her. Her incapability to deal with those miniscule issues was why she was still here after so long and unable to be a productive member of society. His stare was hot and blunt, making her uncomfortable, yet she was unwilling to yeild to it. She easily still had a few more minutes of stubborness left in her.

"There was this guy at work," she caved as she met his swirling eyes of amber, he was serious and slently refused to repeat himself and she felt like a child with her hand in the cookie jar. "He's been very forward about dating me and normally I just brush it off because I don't date guys I work with. Well he had the nerve to tell me that I was being childish because he was the greatest guy I'd ever meet."

The scribbling stopped as she felt the heat rising in her chest, the light warmth of the blush on her cheeks because he was now focusing all of his attention on her and she could not stop talking if she tried. "I mean come on! The best my ass. That phrase is used for one purpose and one only, to get girls. We're emotional freaks, one minute we think we're cute or pretty in one outfit, but just one wrong look and we're ugly fat-cows. When I hear 'I'm the best' it tells me that the guy thinks that I need to stop looking and just take what he's offering because there's something defective about me that will leave me alone and unloved, but it's okay because this guy is willing to throw the pathetic freak a bone and I should be glad!'

'As if I don't have enough problems as it is, but now I have to worry about what's so fucking horrible about me and dwell on it until I'm so depressed I'll take anything that is willing to pick me off the side of the road. I know I have good qualities, but this makes me doubt myself. Will I ever find better? Should I go out with this guy, cause let's face it Rin, you haven't gotten laid now in three and a half years and can't manage to hold a relationship for longer than a month. Maybe this guy is right, maybe he is the best I can get and I should date him because he's right, I'll never find better. I should be happy that at least somebody is willing to put up with me. I'll never find happiness so who really cares, right?"

Tears blurred her vision and Rin sniffled softly as she finished her tirade. Just reiterating her thoughts outloud made her feel pathetic and worthless. She supposed it was not the boy at work's fault for her thoughts and low self-confidence, but he had been the catalyst that had everything bursting through the surface. Those thoughts had always been there, deep within her heart waiting for the perfect oportunity to crush her and now that it had she wasn't sure how to carry on. Her fingers trembled as she struggled to wipe her tears away, more replacing them and she gave up only to hide behind her hands as a sob worked its ways from her throat.

"I hate this weakness," she forced out angrily between clenched teeth fighting against the pain bubbling in her chest. "I should be stronger than this, but I'm not. I'm so stupid, I should be grateful but I'm not! I'm not and I don't fucking understand! Why can't I seem to find someone who doesn't try to belittle me or make me feel horrible about myself? What's so horrible about me that repusles everyone else?"

"Rin," his voice was so comforting and she wanted to curl up in his arms. They would be strong, their length able to wrap around her and hold the breaking pieces together. For once she wanted somebody to be able to lean on, to be able to trust and depend on and no matter where she looked she could not find it, and when she thought she did, it always seemed to crash and burn in front of her. "I think it would be best if you found another doctor."

"W-what?" His words abruptly stopped her tears and her head snapped to his direction, her heart beating furiously in her chest. Had she heard right?

"You heard me," his silver hair hid his eyes and she could feel all of her feelings draining from her body. She suddenly felt naustious.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Rin climbed quickly to her feet, her entire body shaking with disbelief. His curt shake of his head destroyed her. "No, of course not, why would you? Well don't let me waste anymore of your precious time. I'll let myself out."

"Rin," she ignored him scooping up her shoes and her bag into her arms and swiftly fleeing the room.

This time she did not bother fighting against the tears, what was the point? LIfe for her was one big never ending disappointment so she should not have been surprised, that once again she had nothing. This was beyond ridiculous! Her fingers jabbed the down arrow as she halted in front of the elevator, pressing the button over and over in hopes that it would arrive faster that way. If she had better control over her emotions she would be attempting the stairs, but she wasn't going to risk breaking an arm or leg, not with how the tears refused to leave her be.

"Rin stop," the elevator doors opened and she shrugged off the hand trying to pull her back by her shoulder.

"No," she snapped stepping onto the elevator and jabbing the button that would lead her to the lobby so she could leave and never come back.

Hands shoved her back and she stumbled taken by surprise. Rin's back hit the rail and before she could get an angry curse from her throat the doors closed in front of her and a pair of lips captured hers in a hungry kiss. Her gasp was loud as his hand fisted in her head, pulling her head back as her mouth was plundered expertly. Heat surged through her, numbing her body as she felt him against her, his long silver hair tickling her cheeks as he kissed her breathless. This was not happening!

"I think it would be best if you found another doctor." His voice had gone octaves lower, filled with a husky need that set her blood on fire.

"O-ok," the stuttered reply was all she could utter staring into his hazy amber eyes. She was confused to how she had gotten herself into this perdicament, but it thrilled her as well.

Her doctor, Dr. Sesshomaru Takahara was really kissing her in a freaking elevator! She wondered what alternate universe she had fallen into or if she had finally lost her mind and was currently being tucked into a straight jacket to be carted off to the insane assylum where she belonged. His body towered over hers, his hair falling over his shoulders like a waterfall of silver trapping her and she desperately wished it was real as his hand caressed her cheek, pulling her to him stealing away what was left of her mind.

E/N: I'm almost certain there will be a follow up to this one, just not sure whether or not she was hallucinating... We will have to see...


	29. Chapter 29

**Diclaimer:** _Why must I keep stating the obvious? We all know I do not own anything here, besides the endless rambling of a poor woman... If I owned, nobody would have loved it as much :)_

_ Yay! I had this idea while I was driving home and this song started playing. I've been wanting to do a story based off this song for a long time and by the time I got home, I couldn't get to my computer fast enough. I'm surprised it took me less than three hours to finish it. _

_ Like most of my stories, this story is best while listening to the song that inspired it. I believe you truly get the setting of the story with the flow of the music._

_** "Hammers and Strings" Jack's Mannequin**_

He was not the type to believe in coincidences. Was not the type to believe in tall tales of fate or destiny, because to him, all they were were fictional stories. He controlled whether or not he drove to work, or picked up a turkey sandwich on rye and a glass of iced tea for lunch. There was no cosmic force, or unseen creature pulling the red-strings of life, only choices and their consequences. Everything else was only childish beliefs of people not wanting to come to terms with reality. Selfish people who refused to take responsibility for their actions.

At one point he had even thought himself able to explain religion down to a science, although that had been during his more adolescent days. Now he did not debate the topics he felt were correct, did not challenge any person's naïve ignorance, it was futile anyway. He cared not for the words of others, they could not prove anything he did not already know himself, did not give him an insight he had not found already in a text book or research he, himself had already done.

His father once tried persuading him to go into the field of fact checking, that his obsessive thoroughness was an easy cash-cow; however, what was the sense of spending the rest of his life correcting other people's mistakes? Might as well get his doctorate in psychology and set up his own practice, it would bring in the same, if not more money if it were his goal. Never in his life had he ever been called a good Samaritan, he doubted he ever would be and that was truly okay for him. He refused to help people who would not help themselves first, and to him that was practically everybody. Everyone else did not need him for help.

And it were those choices he made that lead him to an empty house on a Friday night feeding a cat that needed exercise and a dog that needed a horse tranquilizer when he could have been at home relaxing. His younger brother was out of town and he had offered, as a wedding present, to check in on the animals for the four weeks of his brother's honeymoon. He scoffed at the idea. Four weeks, who needed that long for a honeymoon that would surely end in divorce anyway?

All the lights in the house were off, the glowing screen of the television lulling him into a light daze. The day had been a long one, one he admitted to feeling as if he'd been repeating it for the last two months. His life was a endless routine and he was stuck on a track with a circular path, never ending. Infinite. He chocked his more apparent moodiness with the rut he was in, thus his choice in pet-sitting for a brother he cared little about. It was his choice.

A sound woke him from his light slumber, soft and almost soothing and he turned the television off trying to figure out where it had come from. His first thought had been the movie playing on the large flat-screen mounted on the crème colored wall, but when darkness surrounded him, he could still hear the faint jingle of crying.

It was eerie given the time of night and the echo from the hardwood floors and silently he rose to his feet, his hair swishing at his hips as he strained to hear better. The dog was outside, the cat asleep on the couch and though he did not believe in ghosts and poltergeists, his first thought had been the house was haunted and it embarrassed him.

He followed it, his heart pounding heavily in his chest, this mysterious sound of crying and reaching the room where it originated he found himself at a loss. The room was large, the only room with carpeting and it was white like snow. He heeled out of his shoes, leaving the expensive loafers on the hardwood floor as he ventured forward. The room itself was not something he had been expecting in his brother's home. Small hand painted flowers lined the walls, dancing across the corners and circling around the white ceiling fan that rotated quietly.

There was no furniture besides the oak desk which held a computer and a large pair of speakers, a small white piano, and a child sized twin bed against the wall opposite. The sheets were white as well, pristine and unwrinkled and he wondered if it had even been used, though from the looks of it, his answer should have been no. There was no light switch, just a small novelty lamp beside the computer monitor and it took his eyes a moment to adjust to the room around him.

"Hello?" his voice echoed and immediately the crying stopped.

"InuYasha is that you?" a woman's voice sniffled softly grabbing his attention by the familiarity of it. "I can't see you…"

"Where are you hiding?" He asked curtly in no mood for nonsense as he surveyed the room around him.

"Please," she whispered brokenly, making his heart twinge in pain from her tone. "Please, turn on the monitor, I can't see you."

His gaze landed on the desk and hesitantly, he reached over and pressed the power button. The screen was slow to turn on, the gray hazy snow hurting his eyes when it suddenly flashed on. This was not what he had been expecting to find, not when it came to his younger brother and to saw he was shocked was an understatement. The only window open was expanded to fit the entire screen, an online web-chat he told himself staring at the woman on the screen.

"You're not InuYasha," her hand flew onto the screen as it delicately wiped her nose and brushed the fallen tears from her cheeks.

"No," he found himself replying, lowering himself into the oddly comfortable chair. "He and his wife are on their honeymoon."

This was not a woman in front of him, but a child he chastised himself. She appeared to be in her mid-to late teens, her chin length hair dark falling around her in choppy layers. It was messy as if she had been asleep, the pale flesh around her brilliant green eyes red and puffy. He half expected to see endless trails of black, running make-up, but there was only uninterrupted, unblemished pale flesh. Her face still held the chubby face of a toddler, her neck long and slender, rather disproportioned to the width of her shoulders.

She was not beautiful, not by society standards, yet it was intense feel of her almond shaped eyes and the roundness of her full lips that gave her an exotic appearance. He had no doubt that she would grown into her looks in her twenties, early thirties and she'd surpass the set statistics and boundaries of what was considered attractive

"Oh," her face fell further, her reply emotionless and it struck him as odd. Could a child that appeared to radiate emotions lack it somehow?

"How do you know InuYasha?" He asked curiously, ignoring the urge to rest his chin against his palm.

Her eyes filled with tears, the clear moisture slipping down her cheeks before disappearing underneath her chin. Her entire body seemed to tremble, her teeth pulling on her bottom lip and sending warmth flooring through his body. Desire swirled in his abdomen from the innocent action, shortening his breath and sending adrenaline rushing throughout his body. It procured not so innocent thoughts in his mind, her mouth and the possibilities and he mentally cursed himself as he felt himself stiffen.

"I'm his friend," she sounded hurt, but by what he did not know. "I'm Rin."

Even the name was familiar to him, as if he had heard it in passing a few times over the years and it unnerved him more than her distraught looks. The room behind her was an exact replica of what was behind him, down to the faint flowers he could see painted on the white walls, the shadows surrounding her making it a little difficult to see. Her hands battled against more of the falling tears and an urge to pull her into his arms bubbled up from his chest surprising him even more than her sudden appearance.

"Rough night?" He asked softly, trying in vain to get his eyes from following her ever move, the tight spaghetti strap shirt showing off more skin he felt appropriate for a girl as young as her should be allowed to wear.

The watery sad smile she gave him nodding her strengthened his need to hold her. He never prided himself as one to hold small talk, not when he lacked the patience for it, but as the minutes continued to pass, he found himself enthralled with pointless topics thrown between them. It was odd that people would communicate back and forth over the internet when they were capable of picking up a phone for conversation; however, he did not mind as much as he thought he had. Hours came and went until he convinced Rin to lay down on the small twin mattress, her unspoken vulnerability stabbing at him like a thousand knives.

The connection shut off in the early hours of the morning and he slowly trudged his way back into the living room where he stretched out on the oversized plush couch and drifted off into sleep. His dreams were erratic and full of color, they were dreams he had never experienced and he was jolted from them with the shrill screaming of his cellular phone laying on the coffee table a mere foot in front of him.

"Hello?" his throat was raw, sounding as horrible as he felt.

"Sesshomaru?" His brother's voice floated into his eyes, instantly jolting him to consciousness.

"Who is this teenager named Rin who video-conferences you in the middle of the night little brother?" Sesshomaru couldn't keep the words from slipping from his mouth before he could censor them.

Dead air met him for a few moments and he felt his eyebrows raised curiously as he listened to the heavy breathing of his brother over the phone. "Rin?"

"Does Kagome know about her?"

"Sesshomaru," InuYasha sounded calm and the seriousness of his tone was not something Sesshomaru had heard in a long time. "Rin is no teenager. We've known her for years."

"Explain," he would have recognized her if he had known her and since he had not, then Sesshomaru did not know her personally.

"Geez," InuYasha breathed heavily, no doubt running his hands over his face like their father used to when he was upset. "You went to high school with me, she's only a few years younger than us. Sesshomaru I can't believe you don't remember her, she spent most of her life at dad's house during the summer."

Sesshomaru forced his mind to think about his adolescent years and though it felt vague the woman he had spent hours talking to the night before was not the same person who InuYasha was speaking of. The girl he remembered had brown hair that out measured his own long hair, she had been an upbeat and carefree thing, one of those artsy types that ran around in cargo pants or overalls with one pant leg rolled up to the knee. Sesshomaru did not think it was possible for such a person to take a complete three-hundred and sixty degree personality spin into the depressed woman he met.

"No-"

"Yes," his brother interrupted impatiently. "Trust me, it's the same girl."

"What is wrong with her?" Sesshomaru did not know why he cared, only that a part of him did and it bothered him.

InuYasha's bitter laugh sent chills down Sesshomaru's spine. "Lots of things," another heavy sigh left InuYasha's lips before he continued. "She has problems Sesshomaru, lots of problems and Kagome and I try to help her work around her stress, but really, she's lost the will to live and our conferences are just our way of making sure she's still alive."

"What do you mean?"

"I seriously can't believe you don't remember her," there was venom in InuYasha's tone, it made him feel guilty. "What I mean is Rin is on many different medications to keep herself balanced because she can no longer live in the real world. She's unstable and because I've known her for so long and as a favor to Sango and Miroku I keep an eye on her. I'm the only person she has seen in the last four years."

"Why?"

"Well aren't you Mr. Twenty questions today," Sesshomaru growled into the phone warning InuYasha as the fat cat rubbed against his leg demanding to be petted. "Okay, okay, don't get your panties in a wad Sesshomaru. Seven years ago she married Sango's little brother Kohaku and they had a little boy, you were there at the christening. Well almost five years ago Kohaku and their boy were murdered in a home invasion by some thugs looking for some quick cash. They tortured her Sesshomaru, beat Kohaku in front of her and when they realized there was nothing worth taking, nothing worth fetching a price, they smothered her three year old, and left her and Kohaku to die.'

"They were supposed to be going camping for the weekend and when Kohaku and Rin did not come into work, they sent someone over to check on them. They found Rin tied to a chair, barely alive. Kohaku died of blood loss and several serious concussions. She lost everything Sesshomaru, everything and she may not have physically died, but she's might as well be."

Sesshomaru was speechless. Was Rin really the girl he had known growing up? Was InuYasha speaking the truth or was he just pulling a cruel joke to see how Sesshomaru reacted? There were so many emotions running through him Sesshomaru did not know where to begin sorting them out. How could someone come back from a trauma as horrible as that? To be helpless to defend your family and forced to watch them die in front of you. It made him shudder to think of something equivalent happening to himself. He did not hold anything as dear to him to destroy him if he lost it. He did not care about anything enough to know that kind of pain.

"Sesshomaru," InuYasha spoke quietly, a pleading tone in his voice. "Please do me a favor. If Rin logs on while your there and messages me, don't ignore her. She has more bad days than good, most I'm not sure she remembers too well. If it's bad, just play the piano in the corner, it seems to clam her a bit. I never thought all those years of being forced to play would come in handy, but it does."

"I will," they said a few more words before hanging up and as Sesshomaru placed his phone back onto the coffee table an idea popped came him that he could not ignore. If it was the piano music that soothed Rin as much as InuYasha claimed, then he would play for her.

Swiftly Sesshomaru rose to his feet and headed back to the white room where Rin would be able to find him later like he felt she would. He had an itching to do something for her, something that would, he hoped, bring back a smile close to the one he was beginning to remember her being capable of. He wanted to bring her back to life, to be something she lived for if she had nothing to live for. It was a scary thought, one that he labeled as irrational and possibly a tad crazy, but he wanted to please her. He would write her a lullaby and show her that even in the darkness, there was a light. He would give her something to believe in.

E/N: OOC? Maybe, but I really love playing around with Sesshomaru's point of view. It's always entertaining. I should do more...


	30. Chapter 30

**Diclaimer:** _Why must I keep stating the obvious? We all know I do not own anything here, besides the endless rambling of a poor woman... If I owned, nobody would have loved it as much :)_

_ Been itching to write something like this and when this song came on while at work it broke down the damns. Took me about four-five hours to handwrite this out (otherwise it may not have been written) last night and now it is here for your enjoyment._

_ "__**Hero"**__- Chad Kroger (Spiderman Soundtrack)_

Step, thrust. Block, left. Duck, thrust. Her arms twirled as the lightweight sword danced in front of her eyes. She could hear the screams of the wounded and dying, the battle cries of the temporary victors and she pushed herself harder, side-stepping her current opponent, thrusting her blade into his unsuspecting back. The bright red blood sprayed onto her face. She kicked her defeated opponent before moving to the next, not resting for even a second, not even long enough for a gasp of air as there was no time for a break amidst a war.

The sash tied around her waist fluttered around her body, the red-stained weapon descending on another enemy and slicing through flesh and muscle tissue. The sigh of such gore still made her stomach churn, a weakness she was still learning to get passed after so long. She lunged to the side, rotating her wrist as the hilt came in contact with another man's face, the snapping of bone loud in her ears as feet flew and she struck his soft belly with the dagger from her left boot.

Being raised with a silver spoon between her lips her parents hadn't taught her to be as rough as a man and yet knowing she could be found in the heart of a grizzly battle was not something they had expected, or wanted for her. Not in this day and age and she laughed loudly kicking an enemy who charged her like a beast from hell. Her father would have shuddered in disgust, her mother would have fainted dead away and been inconsolable if they could watch her as she mercilessly struck down the warriors and soldiers before her. Her brother, well-he would have been fighting at her side like a comrade-in-arms, oblivious to their gendered structural differences.

Satoru never once minded that she would grow a pair of breasts during puberty, or one day bare a man's children; those things did not matter when it came to a fight. Her brother believed if you came to a fight unprepared or too cocky, you were forfeiting a life needlessly, but any frightened creature, no matter the size, was capable of taking down a powerful and experienced fighter. Satoru claimed that the outcome of a fight was based on who desired it more and who was determined to die in order to succeed. Any man could win a fight, yet the raw determination and desperate desire had destroyed countless kingdoms of the past quicker than any of the best strategically planned conquests.

The muscles in her back and thighs ached something horrible as she ran up hill, her long sword hacking and slicing at the men who dared to get in her way. After losing her brother, she set out to be a mercenary-a fighter for hire and though it had been a grueling endeavor, somehow she made it out with her life intact and an accredited reputation. She wasn't greedy and refused to play the mind games that came with the territory. She did what she was paid to do and delivered divine retribution for the one's she took for little or nothing.

Men laughed at the idea of a woman mercenary, especially one of noble blood; however, much to their chagrin, once crossed, she either left them dead or crying and wishing they were. She did her job like a shrewd merchant ran their business, efficiently and with good judgment. She wasted no time for thugs and vagabonds, thieves or spoiled wealthy men with petty squabbles, and it earned her respect from the kingdom where she was birthed to the few others she had drifted through.

It was her reputation for often ignored moral codes that led her to the Western Kingdom with a traveling band of gypsies. From time to time when traveling to an unknown territory, she traded room and board for manual labor and with the lithe body of a trained fighter it was not difficult to assume the role of entertainer. They gave her dull and sometimes even wooden blades for nights she scoped out the residing noblemen, her dance enthralling the crowds from the almost sexual and challenging moves. She had been raised for many things, to be charming and cunning were at the top of the list and they proved to be useful when it came to negotiations and for getting her (and sometimes others) in and out of trouble. It were times like those when she thanked the heavens and her mother for the infinite patience bestowed on her.

The Western Kingdom was expansive as it was wealthy. The streets void of the normal sewage and disease which plagued other towns and villages of her travels. There was peddling, it could not be helped, along with houses of ill-repute yet they were monitored carefully to keep it from becoming uncontrollable. All-in-all, the towns and villages held a quiet homey feel of a kingdom that ran smoothly and effectively, one with a undoubtedly strong willed and wise ruler.

Most of her spare time was spent in the music halls, her façade as a skilled dancer helping her discover the inner workings of the castle from frequenting soldiers and guardsmen. She read the countless scrolls of their history when she was permitted, ever eager to learn more about a kingdom that was quickly stealing her heart. A year came and went quickly for her until the band of gypsies she often traveled with were invited to the castle. The nervous tension and rumors flew faster than any horse-drawn wagon and it had infected her as well. She was hypnotized by the beauty of the Western Kingdom, yet it would be the men and women who ruled it that would be the determining factor for if she could make it her permanent home.

The king and his second wife (Inutashio and Lady Izayoui) were warmhearted and kind people. Inutashio's laughter echoing down the halls as he called her out after her performance. She had bowed courteously, sheepishly fighting back her blush as he recognized her family surname and then the next moment calling for a man to test her strength. Truth be told she had been expecting a low ranking captain, most king's she came across playing the "women are weaker creatures" card. Nonetheless, she'd been thoroughly shocked to see the commander of the Inutashio's army slowly come her way. He was the first son to the throne and the future king. His long silver hair pulled back into a tightly woven braid that hung easily below his waist, his piercing amber eyes freezing her blood as he watched her with a predator's gaze.

"Sesshomaru," Inutashio's voice was still filled with amusement as he addressed his son. "Let us test the merit of Lady Rin of Stolhm and what she has to offer."

The first prince nodded once acquiescing to his father's childish whims, but she found herself once again surprised as she saw his sharp blade descend on her before she heard it leave its scabbard. Her brother spent countless years drilling the importance of the essentials of a good defense into often stubborn head and it was the only thing that saved her from losing her life. He was quick, her eyes barely able to keep track of him as he attacked her from every angle imaginable. Rin fought to stay on her feet, constantly twirling around him, parrying to his strategically placed thrusts and jabs. His sword bit her flesh her and there, stinging her pride as well as her body, the sweat dripping down her face in endless rivulets.

Sesshomaru danced around her like a carefree wind, untouchable and dangerous, and it was a tiny miscalculation from her that ended their duel, her chest heaving as she frantically fought for breath from her position flat on her back. He had beaten her without breaking a sweat and though she and everyone else in the hall knew he would always be the stronger of the two, it did not keep the jealousy from breathing it's contagious disease in her heart. It was after that night when she officially joined the leagues of the guardsmen, battling and cunningly moving her way steadily through the ranks, desperately trying to gain the approval of the man who not only defeated her, but insulted her pride by rejecting her as a fighter and equal. She would show him that she was just as good, if not better than any capable man, thus wiping the superior look from his otherwise emotionless face.

The only major problem with that plan was the resultant meeting of Inutashio's other son, the second born and mischievous prince, InuYasha. The two sons were night and day from each other beyond the silver hair and amber colored eyes they received from their father's genes. Where Sesshomaru was cold and reserved, InuYasha was outspoken and aloof. The younger prince was the who spotted her and immediately mowed her down, proclaiming he would "show her the ropes". He wound up getting her nearly arrested along with himself on more than several occasions, in return he gave her a friendship she cherished.

It was during another childish adventure where InuYasha met a woman who would later on become his wife and all it had cost Rin was her freedom. She remembered the night Inutashio introduced Kagome to the court. She was a gift from a less off kingdom hoping to be united with the Western Kingdom and Inutashio declared to be the wife to his first born. The declaration struck a chord in Rin she never knew existed and it gnawed at her relentlessly until the night a rather drunken prince confessed a dark secret.

"I think I'm in love with her," InuYasha had pounded back more mugs of ale than she could count and it made her dizzy trying to untangle his slurred words. "I can't allow her to marry my brother."

"Why not? The treaties are almost signed," she glanced up at InuYasha's face and felt the blood drain from her own. "Oh InuYasha, please tell me she isn't-"

"Please Rin," his clumsy hands knocked over his drink and hers as well reaching for her and grabbing her arms to draw her close. "Please help me…"

His request, his pleading was impossible, especially with the slow progress of the wedding filled Rin with the pain and longing for the happiness of her closest friend; however, she agreed to try to persuade Sesshomaru to release the countryside princess from his marriage bed. It took her days to gather the courage needed to approach Sesshomaru, hours to say the words that fled her the moment she stepped into his study unarmed at an inappropriate time of night. She may have been in the king's arm and a mercenary at that, but first and foremost, she was a woman.

His cool demeanor kept her off guard as she rather hurriedly explained the situation, sweat gathering in her palms as she nervously twitched under his watchful gaze. The way Sesshomaru's eyes probed her, as if trying to see into her very soul, had always been unnerving. It woke hibernating, alien emotions from deep within her heart and frightened her more than the thought of death. Feelings of longing and infatuation with the firstborn prince bubbled under the surface and she struggled to beat it down unless he unearthed it.

"I want something in return," his voice rumbled sending chills up her spine, the soft timbre urging her to acquiesce, damning the consequences.

"Anything," she whispered watching the way his amber eyes darkened at her words, his long fingers crinkling the parchment he held as he rose to his feet.

She rose her chin to meet his gaze, his silver hair hanging loosely around his shoulders as he circled around her like a hawk. She imagined he'd want nothing, he often expressed as much when comparing himself to his brother. Sesshomaru was not one to ask for anything, he took what he needed nothing more, nothing less and he refused to settle for anything less than perfection. He made her nervous and she worried on her lower lip when he stopped directly in front of her, trapping her between himself and the wall of his study. If she was not careful she could lose herself in him.

"I want you instead," he gave no quarter as his lips descended over hers, demanding for her to submit to him and his will alone.

A million thoughts exploded in her mind as Rin willingly gave herself to her prince, his strong hands urging and tearing gasps of pleasure from her mouth as they roamed and teased her virgin flesh. He ignited an unquenchable thirst for him deep in her and hungrily she met his every sensuous touch with her own that left them both breathless and yearning for more.

Rin shook her mind free of the carnal thoughts of her prince, wiping the sweat and blood from her face as she plowed her way through the endless throng of battling bodies. The aching of her shoulders was growing as the hours of bloodshed stretched out. The overall count of fighting soldiers decreased drastically from both sides and she arched her back missing a sharp blade by millimeters only. Her men were growing weary and tired, it was plain to see on their faces. If reinforcements did not arrive soon, she would have to call a retreat and regroup-giving the enemy an advantage over her that she could not allow.

"Rin!" InuYasha's voice bellowed loudly from somewhere behind her.

Her head jerked back to see the second born prince on a galloping warhorse, blood flanking the sides of the spirited creature and she felt her heart sink. King Inutashio was dead. She could tell by the careless way InuYasha fought the men that tried to overpower him. More men spilled out onto the battlefield from the other side of the hills, their cries like thundering canons and for a moment she found herself at a loss.

Once the victor was decided, Sesshomaru would ascend the throne and she would lose him. He would marry a worthy woman, one bred specifically to be a queen and she would fade into the shadows. If the Western Kingdom lost, her home would be destroyed and she would be forced for forfeit her life. If they won, it would be her heart that paid the price. Either way, she was left with nothing and the thought alone nearly broke her.

Her scream of rage was deafening as she spun the hilt of her sword, plunging it into a faceless man's chest, her knuckles slamming into the throat of another as she felt herself slipping into the madness. She fought like a bringer of death, a creature from the depths of hell, her body rolling as she snatched up a forgotten hatchet and throwing it at the breast of her enemy's general's warhorse. The general fell from his horse, angry black eyes cursing her to a thousand slow pain filled deaths as he drew his weapons from its sheath. His armor was showy, but well made, small sparks flying from clashes with her sword. He was known to be a beast of a man, torture and rape high on his list of priorities and it only fuelled her anger more when he blocked her sword with his own.

"What a beautiful creature you are," his words slithered like a snake's, his blade nicking her shoulder and tearing through her flesh. "I'll savor you."

His free hand shot out, grabbing the long dangling braid of her onyx hair and curling it around his palm. His smile was victorious dragging her closer, his blade keeping her on the defensive. She was losing.

"You'll look heavenly underneath me." he teased huskily, his black eyes darkening with lust.

"Eat shit and die!" she spat venomously as she knocked away his blade, her own weapon dipping underneath her dark braid as he lunged to overpower her.

Rin's body overbalanced as her sword sliced through her hair, cleaving it off right below her shoulders. It would grow back should she live. Gasping for breath, Rin struggled to her feet, a cry breaking free from her throat as a metal boot met her ribs effectively knocking her off her feet, another kick rolling her helplessly onto her back.

"A martyr then," the General sneered raising his sword to end her life. "I shall take you in death."

Rin closed her eyes waiting for the strike that would end her pathetic existence. As she lay there under the mercy (or lack thereof) of her enemy, a thunderous roar erupted over the battlefield. The sound itself was unlike anything she heard before and opening her eyes she watched with something closer to wonderment as the General turned to meet the horseman charging him down, his weapon drawn and with one powerful swing, blood rained down on Rin.

The head of her enemy rolled to a stop in front of her, his evil black eyes staring lifelessly at her surrounded by the inky blackness of his hair. The headless body fell in a heap on top of her-stealing the breath from her lungs. Suddenly she could feel the pain from all the sounds she sustained over the last few days, her muscles screaming in protest until she gave in, allowing the darkness to swallow her whole.

She drifted between darkness and consciousness for what seemed like forever, a dull fire burning her skin and scorching her to her bones. At times she swore she felt hands holding her, cradling her, but she had not been cradled since she was a child. She felt as if she were caught in limbo, stuck somewhere in the middle and unable to move forward. A soft rumble brought her instantly to consciousness as it vibrated against her chest, her eyes opening, protesting the influx of bright light that assaulted her.

Her aching body was propped up in a sitting position on a chair out on a balcony overlooking the castle grounds. The sounds of nature soothed her as a plush longhaired orange tabby cat nudged her limp hand, demanding attention. She smiled letting the cat rub itself against her fingers, the soft silky fur draining the worry from her stomach and uneasiness bubbling in her chest. She obviously wasn't dead, nor was she some prisoner of war, which meant the Western Kingdom-her home were the victors.

"You're awake," Sesshomaru's voice fluttered in her ears, his hot breath tickling her neck.

She realized then that she was laying not only on a couch, but on Sesshomaru as well, her head pillowed on his shoulder and she felt her cheeks heat with embarrassment for not noticing sooner. His lips gently brushed her temple, his fingers pulling back the stray stands of her defiant hair behind her ear. His intimate touch had butterflies fluttering I her lower abdomen, a carnal ache pooling from the place between her thighs. She longed to feel him filling her with his desire.

"How long was I unconscious for?" she asked watching the way his fingers linked with her own, his other hand drawing imaginary images onto her bare hip.

"Four days," it wasn't long and there was still so much more left to be done. He should not have been there with her, not when there were other responsibilities of his needing attention.

"When are you holding Inutashio's funeral?" they were words that cut her deeply, a sadness close to the one she experienced for Satoru.

"I don't know, probably when he dies for real?" She heard his amusement and felt the shrugging of his shoulders, it was almost too flippant for the Sesshomaru she had come to know, yet it ws the best feeling in the world when the meaning dawned on her. She would be able to keep Sesshomaru longer.

"I love you," she confessed around a yawn, her fingers squeezing his needing to reassure herself that she was not dreaming.

The gentle touch of his finger's reciprocated squeeze told her what words Sesshomaru did not say aloud. It told her that he cared, even if he could not form the words and she felt her entire body relax into his. She would be protected by the man behind her and though she swore her allegiance to him as a soldier, she would swear her heart and soul to him as a woman when the time was right.

E/N: I always thought Sesshomaru and InuYasha's dad would play the trickster when it came to them and relationships. I have a few more ideas bouncing around in my head and hopefully I'll keep on with this writing-spree I seem to be on. Yayz


	31. Chapter 31

**Diclaimer:** _Why must I keep stating the obvious? We all know I do not own anything here, besides the endless rambling of a poor woman... If I owned, nobody would have loved it as much :)_

_ Bits and pieces of this was hiding on my laptop (scary thought) and I really loved this idea. I'm a sucker, what can I say. I've even surprised myself with the multitude of my updates and I'm working on "When You're Gone" as we speak along with a few others. I'm confident that if I can keep this up there will be more updates to come before my holiday weekend is over. Yayz. _

"E.T." -Katy Perry

I was scared. The light coming from the hallway spreading ominous shadows across my bedroom walls. There always seemed to be shadows, I noticed. Following me with their eerie darkness, edging ever so closer to me and threatening my sanity. I did not like being alone like this. I knew the truth behind those shadows of black and what lurked beneath was not merely fairy tales or things that went bump in the night. Those shadows held my fears and phobias, the ones that I kept desperately locked away in my chest. They held my insecurities and imperfections that would destroy me if I let them and the knowledge that they were slowing reaching to me was terrifying.

I turned on the lamp next to me in an attempt to chase away what hunted me all the while knowing that it was nothing but a temporary relief, a silly stall tactic that would only buy me so much time. The walls were off white and bare, evidence to my inability to stay in one place. I could not decorate it with picture frames or posters of bands or celebrities, not when those shadows kept me from everything but misery. There was no point in making this my home when I would not reside inside this small dwelling for more than a month or two, if I were lucky. There would be other apartments, other halfway houses and hideouts where I would borrow a bed or a room, and sometimes a floor so all of my possessions were kept put away. I took what I needed and left everything else, they were replaceable and I had learned to accept it many years before.

An old acquaintance used to joke about my being allergic to happiness, that it avoided me like the plague, and though he had tried to lift my spirits, that too had been entirely in vain. He learned the rules to the games the shadows played, learned that there was no such thing as a safeguard and he paid the price for his laughter. I could not afford to let my guard down when all it took was one millisecond for my whole world to come crumbling around me. I lost him because the both of us had not been careful enough and though his punishment had been far greater than mine had, the suffering in my heart, the aching wound left when he disappeared was worse than his death.

My ears strained to hear the noise in the silence, the gentle rushing of a breeze that I had yet to decide was innocent or malicious, as they were signs that I had to be alert enough to hear. Nature could only protect me as long as I listened and the groaning of the trees outside my windowless home were enough to escalate my already thundering heart. The whispers were soft and lulling, almost too silky to be trustworthy and without making a sound, I slipped from my bed. The socks on my feet were the fuzzy warm kind for long winter nights, the last present I had received during my naïve adolescent years and they slid silently across the carpet flooring. The groaning was growing in volume, the whispers of warning prickling the hair on my arms and I knew the shadows were coming for me.

I gauged the time in my head before I would be discovered, and cursed myself for not repacking the bag, which held all of my belongings. All of my clothes. I heard the blast of the front door being torn from its hinges and instead of slowing down, time seemed to speed up, the light from the hallway blinking out of existence as if it had been a candle keeping vigil and not the electricity through power lines and strategically placed wiring. I grabbed my smaller pack on the nightstand, my hands scooping up the pouch of powder and beaded necklace that would keep me more or less intact. My fear was rising to a place I should have grown accustomed to, yet each time the shadows caught up with me, it always seemed to catch me by surprise.

The prayer escaped my lips in a breathless splurge, light dancing around the crevices and seams of my bedroom door and sealing away the shadows. It would only buy me a few minutes of time until the shadows figured out the method behind my words and melt it away. Endless words slipped through my barely parted lips, incoherent to my ears, but clear inside my mind as I yanked open the door to the walk in closet, my only selfish request, the light of my prayers close to blinding me. My poorly dyed hair whipped at my face and neck, stinging my flesh and as the last phrase left my lips, the shadows were growing ever closer. I could feel their icy fingers grasping for me, their claws tearing at my exposed skin as I leapt into the light and floated away.

Another stall tactic, another place where I was hiding from the shadows that hunted me. My body ached and screamed with protest as it collided with something solid. My lungs burned from the stale air I inhaled making my head spin and I lay still waiting for the dizziness to subside. Closet hopping, as I liked to call, it was sometimes a painful ordeal and though it would have been easier to open gateways to other worlds and places using nature and its energies, I was unable to use them without leaving a trace of myself behind, a trail. I found it almost silly that in order to hide from the shadows I had to find darkness to get away and closets had been an idea given to me by someone I had cared for. Closets had energy, the kind that the shadows ignored, maybe because nothing pure or warm came from them or rather something less trivial, but the skeletons in one's closets kept the monsters at bay. I found the energies easier to manipulate and left no remnants of my arrival or departure, it was my not-so-perfect plan that had been working for me so far.

I am positive that soon the shadows would catch on to my wonderful loophole and then there would be no escaping them, but until I could come up with a better method, there was nothing else to be done. The feeling in my hands was coming back, my heart slowing down to a normal beating pace. I would not be able to stay in one place very long, not with how close to capture I had been and taking a deep breath I clutch the beads in my hand, easing my mind into another prayer.

"Sing for me my starlight and wish away the night," I remembered the lullaby my mother sang for me as a child and it halted my silent prayer, it was too late.

"The sins of my shadows chain me to my darkness," the energies humming in my ears no longer held the tones of warning telling me I had no chance of escaping.

The closet doors opened with a bang, drowning my sensitive eyes with blinding light. There was no time to think, no time for reaction and I cried out as thick fingers grabbed me with the care of a hungry lion. I was yanked from my sanctuary, ripped violently and half dragged across the carpeted floor, which burned my bare flesh. I lashed out at my captor with my hands and feet, kicking and clawing, all the while hoping the sudden adrenaline rush would grant me superhuman powers to defeat my enemy. If I had been normal, I would have chalked my failed attempt at escape on my upbringing. My lack of impromptu fighting on my over active imagination stemming from too many wasted hours reading sci-fi novellas and action-adventure movies that fooled me into believing that the average girl with no defensive training could defeat an opponent skilled in taking down prey in mere minutes. However, that wasn't the case.

"Stop fighting me starlight," the voice of my attacker was a mixture between male and female, inaudible to the human ears, yet one that told me I had happened into a shadow's stronghold.

I had the urge to scream as the plump creature pulled on my arms and legs, the fat fist punching my side in hopes to cease my useless flailing. I needed to be able to deliver a kick to the mouth, breaking a few front teeth, and engrain it into its head that I was not called a starlight, but my true name; nevertheless, that urge would have been my death sentence. A true name was the equivalent to knowing the strings to control a person's soul or spirit and allowing a shadowed to learn it would have meant my death. It had taken centuries for other "starlights" to figure out the connection that doomed them and once the line had been severed, the hunting began.

With the shadow's heavy beating it did not take long until I was pinned to the floor, my inhumane screaming and struggling making the creature about me hiss and curse under its breath. My hope of escaping was fleeing fast, my aching muscles pleading for a break, for release and I wanted to sob. Fingers pawed at my back, ripping the frail fabric of my shirt and exposing the intricate tattoos of the celestial constellations etched into my back. They were supposed to be my savior, yet in my short existence they had been nothing more but my curse.

"With this taste of ambrosia, I shall set free the shadows of my past," I cried out as my hair was pulled, forcing my head to arch back painfully and exposing my neck. "I feel no greed for this bounty. My dear Death Queen, smile upon me as I feast on your forgotten greatness."

My eyes were wide with fear pooling in my heart feeling the sharp fangs grace my throat, I was going to die. Frantically searched my failing mind, desperate to find a way out of my current predicament. There was still so much I had left to do, so many lives I promised to save and dying here would truly leave the rest of my kind without hope. The limited power I had was hidden in the beads and powder given me to by the few remaining elders, which were now strewn over the floor. In their making me somewhat human gave me enough of an advantage in the fight-or-flight sense, but now all it had accomplished was leaving me helpless to my enemies.

The fangs pierced my flesh, freezing my body as the shadow began to drain the life out of me, stealing my soul along with any powers sealed within. Tears burned my vision as I choked on the oxygen struggling to fill lungs, I couldn't give up this easily could I? A thought ran across my mind, one that I had been warned would be the death of me, yet it was nothing in comparison to what I was feeling now. Using the last of my strength, I forced the prayer spell from my lips, expelling it into the room and instantly the shadow suckling viciously on my neck ceased.

An eerie silence filled the room and my heart faltered as failure strangled me. The prayer should have summoned the fallen star, bringing waste to all the shadowed that threatened me. I was told it would and yet the prayer had only brought me a momentarily reprieve from the beast feasting on my flesh. If I had the strength to cry, those tears would have fallen in rivers as the creature above me laughed haughtily, the thick fingers ripping the hair from my scalp forcing my back to bend in a way it was not meant to. He was going to snap my spine in half, break me in the physical sense and the continue to devour me and it wasn't fair. It simply just wasn't fair!

The fluorescent lights exploded in light, green and blue fire erupting from electrical sockets and broken bulbs. The shadowed jerked away from me hearing the screams of its brethren, dropping me from its hold as if I were diseased. My throat throbbed as I forced my hands to the gaping wound, trying to staunch the bleeding and failing miserably. My limbs did not want me to move, almost outright refusing to cooperate and cursing under my breath, I forced myself to move, to crawl or slither, something that would get me away from my immediate danger.

"Oh no you don't!" a pointed shoe introduced itself to my ribs, knocking me to my side, another to my stomach and it did not stop until I was laying immobile in a pool of my own blood.

My eyes rolled up into the back of my head as a wave of dizziness hit me hard, adding to the overwhelming pain crippling me. I could feel the light slipping out of me, leaving an empty coldness in its wake and I pleaded mentally for help, screamed it from my mind hoping that someone or something that did not want me dead would hear. Another scream rang out, this time closer and the shadows creature trembled against me, its fangs trying to suck of what was left of me. I felt it coming then, the thick scent of something spicy dangerous and the tips of my lips arched into a knowing smile.

"The fallen has come for you," I don't know how I managed to whisper, let alone audibly, the blood gurgling from the gaping wound, fresh blood slipping from my mouth. "Run and hide if you can."

The door splintered under the pressure and exploded inward, wooden fragments knocking the shadowed to the floor next to me. The new creature was powerful, it's aura flowing around the room refusing to be caged, as flexible as water and I felt my body relax as it came closer. It was familiar, comforting and it breathed life into me, healing me and I heard the heavy sigh of something masculine. "Rin."

It was the surprised whisper of my true name that had my eyes opening. Everything around me spun, my stomach cramping as the shadowed groaned loudly, its fat fingers digging into my calf and tugging me away from my salvation. I stayed deathly still as raw power filled the room, swirling around hatred and rage and I held my breath as the shadowed was ripped away, its screams echoing in my ears until I felt the fine powder settle over my face. It was dead.

"Rin," gentle fingers probed my skin feeling for bruises and breaks and finding many in return.

I could barely feel the hands on me as I stared at the man in front of me, my heart pounding loudly in my chest as I stared in horrified disbelief. Long silver hair was pulled up into a high topknot, no single hair out of place and flowing in a shower of straight silk, shining brightly as if his scalp illuminated the strands. Amber eyes that haunted my memories gazed at me with concern, something I had never seen them experience and though the pale flesh hurt my eyes, the slight magenta stripes on those angular cheeks reminded me of the fallen status.

"Sesshomaru," my heart was breaking as he pulled me into his arms as if I would break if he was too rough. "You're supposed to be dead. I saw them kill you."

My head lolled against his chest as he rose to his feet, his grip tightening around me as his eyes turned cold and calculating. This was not the Sesshomaru who had loved me, not the one I remembered, but his presence warmed me in a way I never thought possible again. If he was the fallen star that would be the death of me I think I would be okay with that. He had been my world from the moment I met him and losing him the first time nearly destroyed me. If saving the rest of my kind meant giving my life to him, then there would be no contest, he had my soul, why not my life as well?

"You're safe now," he told me as I felt the pull of the prayers he no longer had to speak and I desperately wanted to believe him.


	32. Chapter 32

**Diclaimer:** _Why must I keep stating the obvious? We all know I do not own anything here, besides the endless rambling of a poor woman... If I owned, nobody would have loved it as much :)_

_ Wow, this one hit me pretty fast. Took a break to finish the book I was reading, then started back on my current short and as I was scrolling through songs it hit me like a ton of bricks. I know the original singers of this song are "the Beatles" but I love this rendition so much better. :) I for some reason like their songs when sung by someone else... Like in the movie/musical "Sergant Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band". My ALL TIME favorite movie... Steve Martin was hilarious! ANYWAY! Here you go, giggle my pretties!_

_ This is a companion piece to "Kalimba" :) You'll see_

**"I Wanna Hold Your Hand"** -_Across the Universe Soundtrack _

He was fighting with himself again. Arguing with himself mentally over the man he had been and the man he found himself becoming. It was a pointless fight, one that he would lose in the end-any silly way he looked at it. There were emotions he did not want himself to feel creeping in through the cracks of his composure and taking residence in the one place that had been untouched since his childhood-his heart. These emotions did not belong there, and he had done his best to evict them from his person-did everything he'd been taught growing up. It all blew up in his face, leaving him even more of a slave to this weakness growing in him.

Fear had been useless, intimidation fell disappointedly short and his rage-well, that had met its equal in a creature so small and fragile that it made him falter in his confident, cocky steps. Those blue eyes did not fight fairly. Not when it came to him and for the briefest of moments he hated them for entangling him so thoroughly. Never before had he come upon an enemy to which could control him, have him obeying like some mangy mongrel. But then again, she was not his enemy, not really. Rin, the name filled him with strange feelings. More than he was able to control and it frightened and thrilled him all at the same time.

His father once claimed destiny (or fate) were tricky little things and they loved irony like a demon loved a good hunt. The understanding was no longer a stranger to him and as much as he hated the very idea, he knew his father was right. "Sesshomaru I'm home!"

Her voice was music to his ears and with it, she brought panic and warmth to his chest. When he had taken her into his home as a toddler, it had been purely on a curious whim and now that she had grown into a beautiful young woman, part of him was regretting his irrational behavior of his earlier years. If he had simply kept going, just ignored the cries of a scared human toddler, he could have lived his life without the knowledge he had now. He could have lived without the feelings he was unable to get rid of.

Blue eyes stared at him, he felt their curious gaze on his back and he bit back the urge to pull her into his arms and savior her scent. He was a powerful demon for goodness sake! Not a lovesick fool and he needed to get a hold of himself. His control was steadily slipping and he did not know how much longer he could keep her safe. Not only from the other demons that would harm her, but from his desires for her as well.

"Sesshomaru?" She asked hesitantly from the doorway, the lilt of her slight lisp sending chills up his spine.

She may have been nineteen in human years, a child to his kind, but it did not stop the less than pure thoughts from playing in the back of his mind. He wondered how her lips would taste, her throat or her breasts. Would she welcome him eagerly? Arch into his touch, her voice low and husky with pleasure as she begged him for body mercy and for more of him in the same breath? It was maddening and he forced those inappropriate thoughts from his mind as she called his name again, her body coming into his view as she came across his desk, her hip resting on the edge as it always did.

Rin made him feel as if he were starving and he barely contained the rampaging need growing just short of his abdomen. She was his daughter! "Y-yes Rin?"

Aggravated with himself, Sesshomaru allowed his calm mask to drop as he sighed heavily, his aching fingers rubbing the bridge of his nose tiredly. Just trying to keep himself in order was exhausting, almost too exhausting and he had half a mind to take up drinking like his father did. Then again, by picking up the bad habit of drunkenness, Sesshomaru might as well give up and admit defeat. After all, once his father started drinking was also around the time his parents went their separate ways. Oh how the mighty had fallen, and when Sesshomaru's mother found out not long later that her ex-husband shacked up with some human "whore", Sesshomaru had been introduced thoroughly to hated and bitterness of female persuasion and even more so still when his half-brother was born not even five years later.

"Are you okay?" Rin asked softly, her eyes were intelligent, observant and he silently praised her. He had not raised a fool.

"I am," he put down the pen in his hand before he broke it. His nose was a little sensitive to large quantities of the vile liquid within and the last thing he wanted to do was add nausea to the ever growing list of things wrong with him. "How was your day?"

Her face dropped, not believing his lie. He had taught her to detect the truth as well, but she smiled anyway.

"Sucky-Kohaku told me that I was a bad influence and doesn't want to hang out with me anymore." amusement filled him, his eyebrows raising curiously as she continued to rand about the human boy. "But I think that he's more afraid of you. I mean come on! It wasn't like you threatened to 'grind his bones to make his bread', you only looked at him and I thought Kohaku was going to wet himself... The baby."

"He was smart to be afraid Rin," he said rising to his feet and motioning Rin to follow him. "He was raised to be a demon slayer, by other demon slayers and as such, knows when he is outmatched. Fear can be a good thing."

Rin gave him an un lady like snort from behind him and he felt his chest tighten. "Pfft! Yeah right! He flips out over the tiniest of things. I mean take Jaken for an example- I have in intsy-wintsy, teeny weenie finger-paint war in his study with Kohaku and the boy was almost in tears. Like the toad could really hurt anyone! I swear, humans are stupid."

Sunshine and a cool breeze greeted him as he stopped outside. Her scent wrapped around him while in his study, strangling and seducing him and he needed fresh air without hurting her feelings. It was the only thing that made him feel shame anymore whether or not he was wrong (which he seldom was).

"Rin," he interrupted her curtly, his amber eyes glancing back at her. "May I remind you that you are human as well?"

"Well, I'm different." She was stubborn-something she learned from InuYasha and it was both a curse and a blessing in disguise.

"Care to clarify?" He turned his gaze to the land surrounding his home. The thick trees camouflaged the modest five bedroom house, keeping prying eyes where they should be. Elsewhere.

"Because," he could hear the embarrassment in her voice as she struggled for the right words to say.

He was graced with her silence momentarily, his sensitive ears listening to the wildlife around them. Rin was young and she still had a lot to learn, that was for certain and he wanted to be the one to teach her the unknown. He wanted her to be at his side for the rest of his life; however long it would be and he felt the urge to sigh at both of their antics, but he refrained. Barely.

"Because," she whispered suddenly at his side, her small hand slipping into his own and squeezing gently. "I'm your human."

Those words scared him and yet warmed him. They were not said as a girl-child speaking of a parental figure, but the hopeful tone of a woman. They mirrored what he harbored inside of him, a desperate need to be claimed, to be acknowledged by the ones they cared about and he felt something slip away from him. She would destroy him, his beautiful Rin and he was going to let her.

_** E/N: **__I've been reading too much Sherilyn Kenyon lately it's affecting my brain... You guys love it, but I'm a puddle of smutty-mush! More to come... GO ASH! lol _


	33. Chapter 33

**Diclaimer:** _Why must I keep stating the obvious? We all know I do not own anything here, besides the endless rambling of a poor woman... If I owned, nobody would have loved it as much :)_

_ "Family Portrait"_ -**Pink**

He was feeling it again. The humming itch in the back of his mind telling him that something was not quite right. The feeing had been more predominant, more demanding and the frequency of its appearances was almost enough to make him call out to his father and question it. He wouldn't though, not because him and his father were more estranged than they were close, but because for as cold and uncaring as he came off to be, his father was currently experiencing a fate worse than hell itself. His father was an old creature, easily seven or eight hundred years old, but his heart had been broken like some love sick dog.

His father was a powerful demon, one feared by most and it was his surprising naivety which was now destroying him. Demons breathed and lived power and they often searched for a creature that rivaled them in strength in every aspect. Female demons searched for males who could protect any off springs and what could be given. Males searched for a female demon that would breed them strong, powerful spawn, and the weaker demons often mated to combine their strength. The nonsense of love was also another pretense of mating with another demon, but he still did not quite believe in that four letter word of destruction. He learned at an early age their was no such thing as love, not when lust and power came to play.

"Sesshomaru?" His father's voice was rough pulling him from his thoughts and Sesshomaru glanced back to the demon who had been a helping hand at giving him life. "Thank you for coming."

Sesshomaru himself was a full-blooded demon like his father before him, his mother a ruthless dog demon who answered to no one. His parents had coupled in the previous centuries as a way to strengthen their bloodlines, the numbers of born powerful dog demons dwindling as the numbers of wolf cubs and crossbreeds steadily increased. Sesshomaru was positive that at one point his father had cared for his mother, doting on her when necessary, coddling her, keeping her appeased and for two centuries it had worked. They had raised him to be an observant intelligent creature, although the strain between the two older demons had been easily seen.

By the time Sesshomaru was two-hundred the bitterness had settled in between the members of his family and when he had left to make his own way, his mother snapped. He wondered if the reason so many dog demons had bred with other species was the apparent madness slowly slipping into their genes. As the years lengthened, the demon would experience bouts of paranoia or rage, though after a while Sesshomaru felt that it was that his parents made a horrible couple and should have never been allowed to procreate. It was when he was a little over three-hundred and fifty when the tattered seams split wide open.

His father, the great Inutashio slipped into the nonsense of love and found himself in the arms of a human female. It had been a delicate affair, Sesshomaru remembered the way his father had courted the quiet creature, how a demon as powerful as his father was, acted like a weak fool and it angered him. His father and the human eventually married, a ritual that Sesshomaru scoffed at, yet the sight of his father truly happy had been something that surprised him. It left Sesshomaru's mother bitter and seething, waiting for revenge.

When the human woman, Izayoui, he reminded himself, had given birth to his half brother not long after, it was the fall of his father's entire world. Sesshomaru's mother was a conniving bitch for lack of better words and in a fit of rage attacked Inutashio, easily overpowering him and using her powers to bind their souls together in an effort to keep him from doing the same to his human companion. To his day Sesshomaru was unclear on exactly how his mother had managed the feat, though he would not rule out that she had help of other demons or even a fallen priestess. They too, pooled together in the darkness, giving out revenge and power for a price.

Now mated to a woman he despised Inutashio could only watch his human slowly grow old, unable to keep her at his side for an eternity as others had before him. Sesshomaru's feelings were mixed, he partly believed his mothers were the best as now their blood would not be polluted with human weakness; however, the pain in his father's eyes were enough to put doubts in his mind. His father had been happy watching his new family flourish, and although the two of them were unable to have anymore children, Izayoui did not let it destroy her and Sesshomaru silently admired her for her strength.

Izayoui's son, her half breed child InuYasha was an opinionated creature, one that Sesshomaru found himself despising out of sheer jealousy. InuYasha was given things that Sesshomaru had been denied, a mother's love, patience and a strength that would be a force worth reckoning with later in life. Sesshomaru did not care that InuYasha was a half-breed, even if he made threats upon the growing child's life on more than several occasions. Nothing was easy and he had to earn his respect. Sesshomaru channeled his hatred for his mother and father into InuYasha, forcing the small boy to fight for his life, to learn what he would need to know, how to protect and keep what belonged to him. InuYasha may have been half-human, but he was half demon as well and he would not protect his brother if something stronger came his way. It was survival of the fittest and if InuYasha could not take care of himself he was better off dead.

"Your welcome," his steady fingers plaited his hair, tying the end with a leather thong. Sesshomaru's father was a strong demon, but the being in front of him was nothing but a shadow.

With the slowly ailing Izayoui, Inutashio spent his free time with his wife. InuYasha was an adult in human years, still an adolescent in many demon traditions and Sesshomaru shook his head often when thinking about his brother. InuYasha never took the easiest road, never took the right path and he struggled with every step he took. He was brash, stubborn, and cocky, all of which served only hinder him. The half breed was on a path of self-destruction and had he been born during the time Sesshomaru was, he would not have survived a third as long as he did. Trouble was out to get InuYasha it seemed and as his mother's health declined, the half breed did one thing that Sesshomaru refused to acknowledge existed. He fell in love.

The priestess had been beautiful, in a plain sort of way for a human. She was everything InuYasha could not be, she was a light in the darkness for the half-breed, one that only brought heartache. Her "love" for InuYasha was the reason why Sesshomaru was currently in a self imposed exile in the middle of nowhere. InuYasha foolishly, blindly followed a woman who in return cursed his existence and enslaved him in living death. The priestess herself had met the final resting place in hell, her body cremated and watched over by remaining family and InuYasha, well his body was held in a magical stasis five miles away from Sesshomaru's home, deep in the forest of trees and foliage. Protected and bound by the priestess' spells, InuYasha was pinned to a tree and as Izayoui grew older and weaker, Sesshomaru was begged by the dying woman to keep him safe.

So Sesshomaru often patrolled the two-thousand acre sanctuary, keeping to himself as he pleased along with making sure no rouge or power driven demon (his mother included) attempted to end his brother's pathetic existence. Izayoui died five years after InuYasha's entrapment, and his father turned into more of a hermit than Sesshomaru himself was only surfacing a few times to visit his son's "resting" place.

"How long do you think we can keep this up?" Inutashio brushed the dirt and leaves from his pants, his silver hair blowing in the light spring breeze.

"As long as necessary," there was an unfamiliar scent in the air, tickling his nose and Sesshomaru ignored it as he followed his father back to his home.

Sesshomaru's home was not extravagant, but a small ranch styled house. The paint was white and worn down reminding him that he would need to hire someone to repaint it as his nose was just a tad too sensitive to withstand the fumes for long. The porch was wide and wrapped around the entire length of the house. It was moderate compared to what his father lived in, the two-story six bedroom home more than enough for Sesshomaru himself and Ah-Un, the two headed dragon who came and went depending on Sesshomaru's moods. There were only the very select few who knew exactly where he lived, his servant (if you used the term loosely) Jaken stopped by more than Sesshomaru's cared for, though it was definitely better than having the toad live in his territory to begin with.

"I shall bid you adieu," Inutashio said flatly, his amber eyes filled with untold sorrow and regret, something Sesshomaru saw in his father's eyes more in the recent days.

"Drive safe," it was the age of technology, something Sesshomaru met with distaste despite the positive advancements.

He knew how to operate a vehicle, knew the mechanics to nearly everything, but his home was still powered by candle light and lanterns. It was different in the outside world, while he was at work he allowed the technological advances to project him forward, but while at home he enjoyed the simple pleasures of a time where there was no such thing as internet or television. He occupied himself with his books or with his patrols, or simply living off the wilderness around him. He had nice, expensive things, but they were simple and everything in his home had a purpose.

"There are humans here," Inutashio stopped in front of his car, his nose sniffing slightly at the air. "I can smell the blood from animals…"

"The stench of death is old," Sesshomaru replied as the humming itch resurfaced, swirling almost painfully in his head. "No doubt they are dumping a carcass. I will check it out."

Inutashio merely nodded before climbing into his car and driving away. Sesshomaru narrowed watching the mechanical death trap disappear around the gravel road before switching his attention to the smell of death and blood that drifted along the chilly breeze. It was too early in the year for hunters, or poachers as the property he resided on was a sanctuary that went on for miles. He was not looking forward to the trespassing humans, especially if they meant to disturb anything within his territory.

The humming quieted down the further he traveled through the trees, twigs and dead leaves crunching under his feet. There was no need to be stealthy, no need to hunt and track his prey, not when they were being blatantly obvious to their location. Humans were silly that way. He could not pinpoint the exact perimeter where the animal carcasses should have been, it left him wondering if they were dumb enough to catch the attention of any demon within the vicinity, or if maybe their were demon baiters. It was getting darker, shadows of the forest around him stretching ominously and Sesshomaru stopped in his tracks as a frightened voice rang in his mind.

_ 'Mommy! Daddy, please I'm scared, where are you? Mommy, help me! Daddy!'_

He could faintly hear the slow shuffling in the distance, too far to hear the voice clearly. It bothered him, more so because he could now feel other forest dwellers following behind him, trailing in front of him, the pleading cry of the child leading them like a moth to the flames. The child's sobs made him quicken his step, his claws prepared for a confrontation he normally would never seek. The creature called to him, the sound tugged at his dormant heart and he was unable to resist. The scent of blood grew stronger, his amber eyes now cautious and calculating. He could not be caught off guard.

_ 'Mommy I'm sorry!' _the voice sobbed, gooseflesh shooting over the pale skin of his arms it reminded him of his childhood, one he did not speak about, one that he pretended never existed and he wanted to find this crying child. _'I'm sorry please don't leave me here, I'll be better please! It's scary, I'm scared!'_

A angry growl ripped from his throat in warning as Sesshomaru found the child, a large ogre demon barreling through the trees, the blue and green muscles trembling as it raised its club to strike at the child. He did not hesitate as he charged, his claws dripping with poison cutting down the beast. It fell to the ground messy crash, severed limbs rolling across the slightly damp soil, the ground shaking from the weight of the large demon. Sesshomaru wiped the blood and gore on his pants, having already decided to burn them from the bloodstains and sighed heavily. He did not like killing, not when it was against a weaker, less intelligent opponent, it truly was a waste. Though, stupidity could not be coddled, it would be exterminated, even if he had to do it himself to preserve the peace he lived in.

The sobbing in his mind died down immediately and glancing over his shoulder he was taken back by the sight that greeted him. The human child was feet away from him, long dark colored hair tangled and dirty, skin was stained brown and he almost had to cover his nose to save himself from the horrible stench. If he was correct, the child had been bathed in blood, almost marinated, he correct himself mentally as it stared at him. The clothing was just as pungent, holes and tears riddling the fabric, the seems frayed and tattered. What shook him the most was not the appearance of the human child who was no older than six or seven, it was the pleading blue eyes that watched him.

'Are you going to kill me?' The question whispered in his mind, the child's lips staying closed, the small fists clutching the closest tree as if it were the last defense.

"No," there was something odd about this creature, this human and he knew then he would be unable to leave it alone. "Where are your parents?"

'I don't know,' those blue eyes filled with unshed tears, its small chin quivering and he felt the urge to comfort the child.

"How did you get here?" He stepped closer to the child, inspecting it, his eyes roaming over the exposed flesh, the cuts and bruises and trying to figure out his next course of action.

_ 'Mommy and daddy drove me,' _it was a female child he deduced, his nose still slightly overwhelmed by the disgusting smell radiating from her skin. '_Said they found someone to help me so I could be free.'_

Free indeed, he scoffed mentally. Her parents had sent their daughter to her death, guilt free as children could be 'misplaced' or 'lost' easily and with rogue demon attacks on the rise, who would dig deeper? Sighing heavily, Sesshomaru towered over the girl, her gaze unblinking and lacking the fear he had felt coming from her in waves moments before.

"What is your name?" He would after all need something to call her until he could locate one of those human child services to take her back into the city where she belonged.

_ 'I don't know'_

"What did your parents call you?" It was like he was talking to InuYasha again, having to spell things out and he felt the headache coming.

_ 'Demon child'_ Sesshomaru's eyebrows furrowed, angry that there was an abandoned child in his sanctuary and that they were so close to where his brother was imprisoned. Neither of which he had hopes to improving his souring mood.

"I will call you Rin," he said bluntly reaching out to the child in front of him.

She looked at his hand for a moment in confusion before a smile split across her face exposing the gaps from her missing teeth. The sight warmed his skin, but as her small hand touched his, her small fingers disappearing underneath his sharp claws he felt something deeper touch him and he wondered if there was more to this human girl than what he could already see.

_**E/N: **__Read the last volume of InuYasha, can't believe it's over. :( I was a little sad about the Rin/Sessh interaction, but it made me giggle as well. There will be more of this story, I've got a few plot ideas that are swirling around in this empty skull of mine. _


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer:** _Why must I keep stating the obvious? We all know I do not own anything here, besides the endless rambling of a poor woman... If I owned, nobody would have loved it as much :)_

"_**Uprising." Muse**_

Work it seemed, always wanted to keep her longer than it should have and yet again she was running late. Her ride was waiting patiently for her in the parking lot, windows rolled down slightly, allowing the cool air from the testy air conditioner out into the hot July atmosphere. She sighed heavily pulling the strap of her purse higher on her shoulder, her black skirt blowing in the muggy breeze. There was a storm brewing in the sky, shadows brown and grey clouds slinking above her, threatening to unleash its might if provoked. Today had not been a very good day for her.

"Move, I'm driving," she said tiredly, brushing the stray strands of her hair from her face.

"But it's my car," brown eyes glared at her in protest, slightly tanned arms crossing over the other in front of a pouting chest. Kohaku had always had a flair for the dramatics, and though on any other day she would have been up for the verbal spar, today she did not want to deal with either of their childishness.

"I don't care if it's your mother's second cousins uncle's father's car Kohaku," she spat opening the driver door. "If you want to live you will move."

His 'harrumph' was ignored as Kohaku shoved passed her, his shoulder smacking hers and almost knocking her down. It could have been said that she started the fight, she would not deny it; however, now was neither the time nor the place and discussions would be had at another time. He moved without another word and she climbed in and buckled her seatbelt. The sky was looking angrier than she felt and she did not want to get caught in a storm like this. She lived in Arizona her entire life, had first-hand experience on heat waves and floods (when rain decided to visit) and even the few freak hail storms, but not once had she ever been caught in a dust storm.

She was warned that they were dangerous and when a warning for them came up, she had conveniently found a way around it, or avoiding it completely; however, today she had found it impossible to avoid. There were rules to avoid disaster, if visibility was impossible she would pull over, turn off her lights and wait it out, no matter how much she loathed the blistering summers. She told herself she had it all under control, that the storm was not close enough to where they were so she would be able to make it home in one piece and avoid the worst of it.

"How was your day?" Kohaku asked turning down the stereo volume. He was good at diffusing bad situations and she liked that about him.

"Long," she sighed heavily, her eyes watching the road and cars in front of her. She could not afford to be reckless. "Spent most of the day in training, learning how to post payments and run a lot of the book keeping reports and trials. Tedious, but pretty simple. I just wish there wasn't so much, I'm not certain I'm cut out for this."

"Rin," his hand brushed her arm, unspoken comfort and it brought a small smile to her face. "You'll get the hang of it."

"I know that," she bit down on her lower lip flipping the switch to turn on the headlights. "I just feel stupid."

"Rin," his tone was chastising, one that made her hackles immediately rise and if she hadn't been driving, she would have smacked him upside the head. "You're not stupid."

"Yeah, yeah whatever," she brushed his words off as if they were leaves on her shoulder, letting them roll off her and instantly forgotten behind her.

Driving under the overpass of the I-17, all of the light around her was swallowed into a thick cloud of brown. Dust swirled around the small four-door car, pushing at the doors and threatening to make her lose control. It should have only taken a few seconds to drive out of the overpass, but time was not following its path. Darkness grew and Rin could no longer make out the brake lights of the vehicles that had once been in front of her. It was as if she were driving with her eyes closed, or with a thick brown pair of sunglasses over her face at night and she felt her heart skip a beat. The storm had found her.

"Kohaku what do I do? I can't see!" Rin felt the fear crawling up her spine and taking a hold of her, her hands clutching the steering wheel until her knuckles turned ghostly white.

"Pull over," he said suddenly, urgency lacing his tone in a way she had never heard before.

"Where?" she was all but screaming now, her eyes darting around her but finding nothing but wall-to-wall dust and the sound of whirling wind around them.

His response was not anything discernable besides that of a horrified scream. The wind pushed the vehicle at all angles, but she heard the crunch of the metal before the thunderous roar of an angry creature. If Rin had lived in any other place she would have said that an elephant crashed into the side of Kohaku's car, the metal giving away like heated plastic and she screamed as the windshield crumbled, her arms pathetically attempting to guard her face from small shards flying at her. The car rolled, her seatbelt locking her tightly against her seat as her body followed the gravitational pressure playing tug-o-war with her.

The pain and fear lasted for what seemed like forever before the steer wheeling column smashed into her face, blood splattering from her nose and temple. She could faintly hear Kohaku screaming her name, his hands clutching her as everything around her stopped and she was left with unavoidable pain. Everything hurt, her mind shutting down as she tried in vain to catalog all the aches and pains, ignoring the not so subtle throbbing of her chest.

"Sesshomaru!" the shrill cry of a nasal voice forced her brain to restart, her chest heaving as she gasped desperately for air, gulping it as if it were her first time experiencing oxygen.

"Where am I?" Her head lolled against something hard and firm and opening her eyes, her vision was clouded by white and silver. "Kohaku?"

"You are alive," a deep baritone voice shook Rin to her core. She looked down at herself not taking her captive's word for her current state and her face heated in horrified embarrassment. Her clothing looked like it had been torn down the center by a sharp blade, her breasts front and center stage for any curious viewer. "Who is this Kohaku?"

"Oh my god I'm naked!" Her arms frantically tried covering all of her exposed parts at once, her fingers clutching at the tattered ends of her clothing.

_-TBC-_

___**A/N: Been without internet for a while so which partly explains the lack of updates. The other part is I've found myself in the middle of a few dozen stories, all of which I have not quite finished yet. Working on some oldies, so hopefully more soon.**_


	35. Chapter 35

_**"M!ssundaztood" P!nk**_

"I dress frumpy because no female CEO wants to have a secretary who is both younger and more youthful looking than herself." It was not an answer I had been prepared for, not with the woman sitting in front of me, but then again, this entire night turned to be out nothing like my expectations.

Somehow my younger brother convinced me to attend this meeting on the pretense that the both of us knew Kagura would never show. The woman liked to dangle people on a string, mainly for the kick of it, though also for the mind games that came with the territory of running a business. We were supposed to have a meeting about a possible merger, Kagura never learned to live within her means and it was either be bought out or lose it all to loan sharks and bankruptcy. A woman like her would try to worm her way out of debt and if it had been her alone she was attempting to save, I'm sure it would have worked with the aide of a smaller, more lucrative business than her own. However, since it was a business that was sinking quickly, she was screwed seven ways short of Sunday.

This façade of a meeting had been something set up solely for her to save some face, to keep her income a little higher than she would have left to her own devices and I had intended to send my younger brother in my stead. Okay, so I was avoiding her, who wouldn't? She was conniving, always twisting and turning her plots and schemes out onto unsuspecting idiots and I did not want to allow her to grip me with her talons. I did not even want her anywhere near the lapels of my expensive suits in over exaggerated "fear" that somehow it would be leading her on. I would not doubt Kagura could become a money-hungry she-cat, it had happened before.

Anyway, normally I did not trust InuYasha's common sense, it was barely better than Kagura's when it came to affairs of life, but his judgment calls when it came to work never failed me before so I was inclined to lend him my ear for a moment. The woman was hurting for money, yet wanted to look strong and capable so of course she would send a bookkeeper or an office lawyer, someone who could take the fall for her failure and it may have been both the dumbest and the most intelligent thing she had ever done.

The location for this sham of a meeting was on the outskirts of the thriving downtown, just close enough to be hip, but far enough to escape the hustle and bustle of the business man's life. I spent minutes gauging the pros and cons of this façade, debating whether or not to waste my time entering the establishment or simply leaving and letting Kagura drown in her debt. I chose to enter, much to my own chagrin, but decided it best not to touch anything. Poor people are such dirty creatures.

The slightly busty hostess guided me to a clean booth, something that had been surprising in its entirety, her smile not quite reassuring me that I was in the right place. The lights were low, the wooden beams making me feel slightly as if I was in the cabin I spent my winter breaks in as a child. I had to give credit where it was due, the restaurant had a homey feel to it, but it was not a place I would choose to frequent if I had that kind of time on hand. I ordered a drink from the bar and the hostess left, a certain swagger in her hips that gave me the urge to roll my eyes. Some girls should have been taught that class doesn't mix well with trash and well, I was not interested in anything she had to offer in any sense.

I waited quietly, my eyes focused on my watch, keeping track of how many minutes and seconds ticked on and how late Kagura's stand in was. This did not please me, not one bit and before I paid for my drink the door opened quickly and a small creature flew in. She caught my eye due to how awkward she appeared to be.

Her hair was thick and tossed haphazardly on top of her head like a wet-used mom, strands of brown and black framing a face a little too chubby for her neck. Her body was short and blocky, her shoulders straighter than a ruler and her dainty hands clutching a large briefcase that threatened to pull her down onto the concrete floor. Thick glasses magnified her already oddly shaped eyes and I felt my stomach churn as she was guided to the booth where I sat.

"I'm so sorry I'm late," her voice was the only thing I felt was attractive on her, the slight heavy breathing and husky tone capturing the attention of my lower half. I was instantly scandalized by the realization that the little ugly duckling in front of me had a voice that could give me the chills. "I got caught in traffic. My name is Rin-"

"I do not care what your excuses are," I told her as she settled herself in the bench seat in front of me, the large briefcase landing on the table with a loud thud. "Being late is bad business etiquette."

Her blue eyes widened momentarily before melting and glaring daggers at me. The conversation after that immediately dwindled into stabs at character and appearance. The way her eyes narrowed and her bright pink plump lips spread into a thin line had my body reacting in less than pleasurable ways for me and lead to my inappropriate accusation on her being a 'frump queen'.

"You'd think it was because you were trying to hide unattractiveness with the unordinary and mundane," I couldn't explain my behavior, I felt like I was channeling InuYasha instead of my normal cool attitude and it was my behavior that was as unwarranted as her choice of wardrobe. "If we are absorbing you along with Kagura's pathetic excuse of a company you could at least dress yourself from somewhere other than a thrift store from the sixties."

"I don't know how you are still in business," she spat at me, her fingers digging into the tabletop. "You should have sent InuYasha instead of wasting my time by showing up only to snub your nose at me. At least I know his mother taught him manners."

Her words only made me angry and swallow the sputter working its ways from my throat. The nerve! Here I was offering her advise and she returned the favor by insulting not only me, but accusing me of lacking manners. If I had been a lesser man, I would have smacked those plastic frames from her face and put her in her place in a heartbeat. There was a witty comeback on the tip of my tongue, begging to be unleashed against her unprotected flesh, yet somehow I managed to cage it behind my teeth. She was already eyeing my drink, the amber liquid inside it and the small misshapen chunks of ice.

It made me wonder if she would attempt to down it in one shot or if she was tempted to throw it in my face and ruin my silk tie. Out of self-preservation, my fingers wrapped around the short glass, the condensation slicking my palm as I brought it to my lips and sipped silently. She didn't speak as I took another swallow, allowing the whiskey to warm my stomach and it gave me more time to size her up as a person. My experience told me she was a hard worker by the light colored rings underneath her eyes that cheap makeup could not hide and my eyes told me she was underpaid.

A secretary; however, she was not. No secretary of Kagura's would have a mouth as sharp as the woman in front of me, not unless they wanted to collect unemployment. Well that and I would not put it passed Kagura to hire a secretary that could give her vain heart a little eye-candy, a cute male better fit my image of what Kagura would have. Something she could flaunt.

"You know what, I don't even know why I wasted my time showing up," She was stubborn and I rose my eyebrow curiously at her antics, her finely manicured nails smacking against the table top. "If I wanted to be insulted I'd have told the manager in the sales department that her ass is the only thing capable of revolving around her. It's not like I'll have a job next week anyway. You wanted to review the client contracts and the accounting ledgers so there you go. They are all there for your viewing pleasure. I am nobody's gopher girl anymore."

"I beg your pardon?" I did not want to believe that the thick and heavy briefcase was filled with paperwork that was better off on hard drives and USB ports and office software. If this was how Kagura ran her business, no wonder it was failing.

"I'm tired of being everyone's bitch-o-meter," she climbed out of the booth, her blue eyes sparkling with anger and something else and it intrigued me. "People like you always judge by appearances and social status'. I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I knew the moment you looked at me I was labeled as a poor ugly cow. InuYasha was right, you and Kagura belong together because though I've had the displeasure of meeting some assholes in my day, you two take the cake."

I watched with something close to horror as she ripped the buttons off of her suit jacket, shrugging it off and tossing it onto the seat she vacated. The cotton short sleeve dress shirt underneath was just as ugly as the jacket and I could feel my face heating in embarrassment as she continued her little strip show, her small fingers quick to unbutton her shirt. I should have stopped her, stilled her hands with my own to give her the sense of decency she seemed to be lacking, but as she practically tore the shirt from her body my jaw hit the table.

She had been wearing thick shoulder pads that were sewn into the shirt and without it, the bulky shape of her body disappeared. She was small in stature, the tight white tank top leaving nothing to imagination, fitting to every toned muscle and curve of her body. I couldn't move even if I wanted to. Her hands grabbed at the mop of hair on her head, tugging at it persistently until the thick brown pulled free and landed in a heap on the table. The long strands of black tumbled over her shoulders, bouncing slightly before curtaining around her in a teased, just out of bed look. It shocked my system like I was jumping into freezing waters in the late fall, she wasn't frumpy at all.

"Eat your heart out Sesshomaru," her voice became husky as she leaned over me and giving me an eye-full of cleavage.

Watching as she turned and walked away I swallowed the thick lump growing in my throat and willed my body to calm down. My heart was pulsing in my veins, adrenaline rushing through me and I felt a smirk inch across my face. I did not even know her name, but I was sure hoping she would be a part of Kagura's company I was now going to absorb into my own. First things first, I would be having a little chat with my brother before the night was through.

-TBC-

**A/N:** _I really loved this one. I've already plotted out the next outline for a second to this short. Fun stuff __J__ Hope you enjoyed!_


	36. Chapter 36

"_Say my Name" _- Destiny's Child

He should have been dead, he was certain of that infinitesimal truth. His half-brother, a mere dirty blood relative had swung his sword to vanquish him from existence. The energy, the life essence of that demon-killing sword had been hungry for him and yet he wasn't devoured. There were events that were muddled in his mind, foggy and shattered and he was shattered beyond repair. He'd been thrown carelessly in between life and death, that too, he knew as the pricks of unimaginable pain still fluttered through his unnervingly empty mind. There had been no purpose for him in the in between and if he had been allowed to trek forward, he would have been erased from an eternity.

Something; however, ripped him from hell. Yanked him like a newborn into existence (minus the kicking and screaming part, of course), but it had been just as traumatic as the only memories of his first death. She'd been the one screaming, her arms flailing as she struggled to stay afloat. The girl was nothing more than a child and a human child at that and his initial reaction had been to let her drown. His undoing was his minuet hesitation. Her thrashing and pleas for help to a boy-another human, were left ignored from the small rowboat she tried so desperately to reach. Silently he waited with baited breath as the boy leaned over the edge, a bored almost blank expression on his face only for the arm to push the screaming child underneath the chilly water instead of a rescue.

The action surprised him in a way he was unfamiliar with and after a moment when the water went still, he could feel the iciness of the water as it surrounded him. Instincts pulled at him and he dove for the child, heavy clothing weighing him down. She was dying, fading from him and in that instant he knew he could not allow her to slip away in death.

His lungs burned, ached as he reached form her slowly sinking form. His vision blurred as his immaculately kept claws grabbed at her clothing and he yanked her forcibly to him. Worry, it churned in his stomach as he broke through the water's surface, the soft mud slipping between his toes as he made it to land. He breathed life into her carefully, her blue tinged lips a burst of alarming color from pale skin and the blackest of hair.

Swallowed water was coughed and purged from her, soft sobs and greedy gasps for air spilling from her mouth as she clutched him and though he wanted to, he didn't pull away. Her small form trembled in his like some scared kitten and though it eased his mind, her subconscious marking of property had something coiling tightly in his chest. It wasn't enough though, he felt as if he needed something more from the human child, that he wanted something concrete. Something permanent.

'_Say my name,' _it was his voice that whispered to him, coaxing him and he didn't hesitate to repeat it just as softly to the crying child in his arms. "Say my name,"

Her sobs stilled upon hearing him and her tiny hands pushed him arms-length away. He stood frozen as her wide blue eyes studied him with intelligence, a simple understanding that a child of her age should not have possessed. A flicker of fear flashed across him and it almost had him retracting his words hoping that whatever she would do weren't the kind that would destroy him. Her mouth opened and closed, as if she was unsure of what to say and when the confusion lifted from her gaze and she smiled, he knew he was already in too deep.

"Sesshomaru," the name had a familiarity that he couldn't place, her voice was barely audible.

An eerie warmth filled him then and something locked into place in his chest. He felt a piece of his mind attempting to fight against this warmth, this strangeness filling him and the feeling of being trapped swelled in him before disappearing as quickly as it had come. Something in his very soul had been riled up by this human child's voice, angered by her and now it was merely a shadow of emotion he had no certain grounding on.

"Sesshomaru," he had learned later that the small girl-child's name was Rin and that it had been her birthday, she was officially six and somehow he was bound to her and he could not ignore the feeling swelling in him that no matter what, he would do anything to protect her.

-TBC-


	37. Chapter 37

This is a companion piece to "Spiderwebs" and "Right Round"

"Longing" - Jim Brickman

She wasn't sure whether to be excited or disappointed.

So many things had happened in the last couple of months, many things had changed-some for the better and for the worst, but all in all it left her empty somewhere in the middle. Rin had gone from living completely on her own, doing as she pleased and being relatively happy to trapped in a place she had called home several years before, unable to do anything but bitch and moan and more than occasionally stir the pot with her 'roommate'.

There were circumstances for her imprisonment, she had been attacked by an unknown demon while at work and it almost killed her. Though she understood his reasoning (no matter how much she denied it out loud), she did not want to be near him anymore than she had to. Sesshomaru had been her first love, the "can't eat, can't sleep and it's hard to breathe" kind of love and he had denied her ruthlessly and with her pride and her heart broken, she did what she thought was best at the time. She ran away. It may not have been a wise decision, but at the time she could think of no other way to prove to him that even though he did not love her the way she wished of him, she was not helpless without him.

He had; after all, taught to her be independent, if not stubborn and his younger half-brother InuYasha showed her how to use it against Sesshomaru later in life. She learned everything she knew now about demons and power-plays of the dominant ones, the powerful types and she recognized the signs of trouble she ignored while she was younger. In a way she was more reckless as an adult than when she was an adolescent because before now she would have never dreamed of going against Sesshomaru's demands. She would not have spent every waking moment scheming of ways to get him to acknowledge the passion between them, the string of fate entwining them together as InuYasha liked to say.

Sesshomaru belonged to her, Rin told herself every morning. He just did not accept the fact it was true and she had been hell bent on opening his perceptive yet ignorant eyes. So she schemed and plotted, attempting to bring Sesshomaru down to her level, show him what he was denying was a good thing, not something horrible and despicable and that, even though he was a powerful demon, it took someone powerful enough to love. Even if it was love for a human.

She had at one point almost given up on love, willing to stay complacent with lust or even the hint of caring. At first, she practically welcomed it if only Sesshomaru was with her. But lust was different from love; she knew that and what she felt for him was love. If she allowed it to be merely lust, the only person who would wind up hurt was herself. She couldn't live with lust only, it would break her and she decided that if she was going to have Sesshomaru, she would be selfish. She wanted all of him, not just pieces, and definitely not only the physical touch he could supply her with.

That was when she put her plans into motion, when she enticed the anger out of Sesshomaru and when his hands touched her, his lips devouring her and his body demanding her to submit she felt almost giddy. Sesshomaru had been gentle and rough at the same time, fanning the flames of her desire. It had been perfect and it had taken her hours, almost days to understand fully what Sesshomaru had given her and she hadn't been able to keep the blush from her face for at least a week. The ghost of his sweet caresses did nothing but wind her up like a top making Rin silently yearn for him and it left her more frustrated than before.

Sesshomaru did not deny her after that: however, neither did he make it easier on her. He never made a move, never began their passion, but would contribute when Rin asked and she wasn't disappointed. It did leave her wondering though, if it was something he wanted, not something he put up with merely to keep her docile and the errant thoughts stung. She could accept him being shy, not that he was the kind of person she associated with being 'shy', yet the idea of him acquiescing to her desire for him so he wouldn't have to deal with her scheming and attempts at freedom was something she had not considered.

Those kinds of thoughts left her feeling emptier than before and the distance between the sexual encounters she had initiated with Sesshomaru lengthened before ceasing all together. Some days she convinced herself that she could live without it, but when it was all said and done she felt only the loneliness she could barely hide. It was as if someone had sucked all the sunshine and warmth from her body leaving an empty husk.

She felt herself shutting down. Rin could still perform the everyday tasks, eat meals three times a day, shower, anything that did not require her to think, that required her to feel, but that was the extent of it. At first she read anything that would pass the time and keep her in her bedroom or on the plush couch in the sitting room. After the first three books she confined herself to text books or encyclopedias as they did not give her a fantasy world or give her heart a painful squeeze with every passing page.

And then InuYasha had shown up. He had taken one look at her and frowned angrily, a scowl Rin hadn't seen in what was ages to her and gave her the emotions she'd been denied. He invited himself over for the night and shook her up, dragging her from her self-imposed depression and left her silently crying. His arms had been warm and comforting as they held her against his chest, shielding her as she let the tears break free from their prison and she couldn't deny him his request. He was her older silly brother; he protected her when she was too stubborn to look out for herself. He gave her the space she needed. He was everything Sesshomaru was unwilling to be and she leaned heavily on InuYasha because she needed it.

"You're killing her," she had fallen asleep on the couch, her head on InuYasha's lap, her fingers curled around one of his hands, clutching it almost desperately. She stayed still as she could, pretending to be asleep so she would not disrupt their private conversation.

"Nonsense," Sesshomaru's voice was cool and it made her stomach twist up in knots and she forced herself to calm down. She was almost too afraid to let either of them know she was awake.

"How long has it been since you saw her smile?" InuYasha's free hand touched the top of her head gently, his fingers running through her hair as if she were a pet. "I bet you don't even know the last time she really laughed."

The silence was suffocating and it seemed to go on forever. She couldn't decide whether Sesshomaru knew exactly how long it had been and did not to say or did not know because she was uncertain of the date herself. InuYasha's fingers did not hesitate, but his body did stiffen and she suppressed back the heavy sigh. He should not have been surprised. Sesshomaru was not the kind of person who could be bullied, he would stay silent for an eternity if that was what suited him and at the moment it must have.

"If I hadn't stopped by to check on her today," InuYasha's voice was husky with anger and something else she could not pinpoint. "She probably would have killed herself by the end of the week."

Rin's blood froze and she swallowed the gasp threatening to break free. It wasn't that bad, was it? Sure she felt the emptiness, the loneliness of her existence, but had she truly become suicidal? The honest answer scared her. Yes-she concluded morosely, suicide had been on the agenda. It passed her mind a few different times and each time had seemed more interesting, more plausible and she hated herself for being weak. Maybe there was a reason why Sesshomaru was the way he was towards her. Maybe he could sense her weakness, her incapability of ever being what he wanted and that was the reason why he kept silently rejecting her.

That trail of thinking hurt her worse than the thoughts clouding her mind previously and some of the bitterness left her. Of course Sesshomaru could spot her weakness a mile away, he was after all a powerful demon and she was a hindrance, a weakness for him and it all began to make sense. It was time she grew up, faced the facts and behaved like an adult. Sesshomaru couldn't love her, those words would hurt her, possibly crush her, but she had to be like a phoenix and rise from the ashes, a new-better creature; one that if Sesshomaru couldn't love, he could be proud of.

"I will hear no more foolishness," Sesshomaru spat coldly.

Silence was not comforting her like it should have and she waited a few more moments before opening her eyes and staring up at InuYasha, his amber eyes focused on her with pity. He wordlessly gave her an apology she did not want to hear and she felt the tears coming, blurring her gaze. Sitting up, she fought them back, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand willing herself to be stronger than this.

"Things will get better Rin," InuYasha told her softly, his clawed hand running through her hair in a way she wished Sesshomaru would.

"I hope so," she sniffled using her arm as a makeshift handkerchief.

-TBC-


	38. Chapter 38

This is a companion piece to "Family Portrait". It's different, but not quite, though I really liked it XD

"Hundred"- The Fray

He had things to consider now, things that he never thought could boil to a head. It was frightening, the worry and guilt raging in his stomach, but a larger part of him was oddly relieved. How was he going to keep this secret hidden? It was not something he wanted to think about; however, it was not a topic he could drop until later. There would be violence, he knew that much, though the idea of fighting was not something he was willing allow. She was not up for the stress, he told himself, not in her condition and it would only further along the agitation and guilt.

'_I'm so sorry,' _she whispered silently, her blue eyes unwilling to blink and let the tears have control. _'I didn't know where else to go.''_

His family had fallen apart years ago, too many to be exact and he understood the helplessness wafting from the sleeping form in the other room. He had been naïve and foolish, it had cost him his second chance at happiness and he now feared that his son was spiraling down the same path, but from a different direction. Sesshomaru, his first born son was like his mother in several ways, not all of which he knew was a bad thing, yet in this instance he wondered if 'like father, like son' was the truth of the matter.

'_I love him so much,' _her tears had punched holes in his heart that had long since scabbed over. Years with her helped close the loneliness in his bones. She could not take the place of what he had lost, he would never love like he had again. Sesshomaru; however, had potential, he saw it in the way his son's eyes watched the small human child, watched it in the way he handled her as if she were damaged porcelain. _'Please, Papa-Tashio, don't let him see me this way.'_

Rin, She was merely six when Sesshomaru found her deep in the woods, blood and gore caking her vision of him and yet she did not flinch away from him, did not fear him. Instead she clutched his hand, holding him to her in a way neither of them understood. He was her savior-a torch he had taken not fully comprehending all that it entailed and though Sesshomaru believed their relationship to be a maternal one, any fool could see it would grow into something completely different.

"InuTashio," the deep voice on the phone receiver was telling him something he already knew. "Rin has withdrawn from all of her classes and left the dormitories. We are unsure of her whereabouts, but we shall question her fellow classmates and instructors."

"Of course," guilt reared its ugly head in his chest again as he spared yet another glance at the girl sleeping peacefully at his side, her long ebony hair braided loosely, the strands sticking to the side of her face. "Keep me updated should any information arise."

He turned off the electronic contraption and placed it on the nightstand to his left. Sooner or later they would come to the conclusion she was with family, the only family besides the demon she was running from and then all hell would break loose. InuTashio was not a creature to be afraid of his own son, Sesshomaru still had many years of catching up to do when it came to brute strength, but he feared what he might lose in the end. Trust was not something his son easily gave, not unless it was to the girl in front of him and InuTashio had learned that his son trusted no one with Rin's safety, not even his own father.

With his track record, InuTashio was not too surprised. If he was in Sesshomaru's shoes he would horde Rin away from all prying eyes and greedy hands as well. She was a ray of sunshine in the bleakest of days, her smile clearing fog without hesitation. The girl was special, even more so than her ability to force her thoughts into the minds of others. She was special because Sesshomaru had made her that way all those years ago when he took her hand and lead her home. He was never good at taking care of strays, his almost uncaring nature hindering him with the lack of patience and understanding.

InuTashio sometimes wondered if there was such thing as angels in the truest sense. If they had known the younger demon would need someone with a little extra something, a peaceful creature with too much love that needed to be given, a little too much kindness and curiosity that would keep any being on their toes. If there were such creatures, then he would thank them for the gift they had delivered to his son. They gave him a creature worthy to be his other half, something that Sesshomaru would want to protect and be stronger for.

'_It wasn't supposed to happen this way,'_ Rin had spent days crying in his arms, her control over her thoughts slipping as she clutched him. Days of silence in-between the tears and anguish and never before had he ever longed to hear the sounds of it instead of the whispers inside his head. Her heart breaking felt as if his heart was breaking a long with her, it pained him.

It was only natural that Sesshomaru's instincts would bring him to unfamiliar territory, his eyes unable to stay off of his now adult ward, his Rin. Her growth into maturity was something no one could ignore, and she was unable to ignore the pull that Sesshomaru had over her. They were close, yin and yang, two halves of a whole and InuTashio warned his son early on of what consequences could be. Sesshomaru was foolish not to have listened, to have been purposely blind to the signs and instead of nurturing it, he insisted on playing cruel mind games with an unfair advantage.

All the love Rin had known was from their makeshift family, she was too young to understand the pull of her body had on Sesshomaru, but InuTashio wondered if that were only half true. The girl was extraordinarily observant, something Sesshomaru taught her along with several other things and it was hard to ignore what he could see happening in front of him. Sesshomaru may have raised Rin, sheltered her and cared for her like a father only could, but he had never put her in the place of where a daughter should have resided.

"Sesshomaru you fool," InuTashio said to himself, his clawed hand running over Rin's head, the sticky strands of black pulling away from her flushed face.

She would make herself sick if she continued on the way she was and hesitantly, InuTashio questioned his own motive. Did he want his son to end up as miserable as he felt? Did he want to make Sesshomaru fester in worry and fear at the idea of his Rin disappearing and never returning in order to knock some sense into the idiot? The honest answer was yes. One only really appreciated something when it was taken away; too late to get it back and InuTashio did not want to let it get that far. There would be wounds to lick, after all, it was he Rin ran to when her world came crashing down around her, not Sesshomaru, but then again the circumstances were also to blame. Was it not hard sometimes to confront those you love with something as life changing as a child? How could she explain that after a lapse of Sesshomaru's control he had gifted her with something he could not take back?

"Father," the phone was in his hand before he made up his mind completely, but the urgency in Sesshomaru's voice was something that warmed him.

"Sesshomaru," Rin tossed in her sleep, her hand reaching for something that was not there, her lips moving silently. He did not doubt for a moment that her sensitive ears could hear Sesshomaru's voice. "I have news,"

"Is she okay?" There was hope in his voice and InuTashio's heart clenched painfully, it was all he needed to know.

"She is sleeping," InuTashio heard his son's heavy sigh and it brought a smile to his face. Maybe there was more than just a glimmer of hope for them. "However, I am thoroughly ashamed of your more recent behavior. You of all people know how dangerous it is to leave a pregnant woman unprotected, especially one involved with a demon such as yourself."

"P-pregnant?" Something crashed in the background, perhaps a glass, or a window, or something equally expensive. It was almost amusing.

"Come," InuTashio would speak with his son later, when they were all together. "She needs you more than she does me."

"I'm on my way," He only hoped that Sesshomaru would take the right path when it came to Rin. Misery loved company; however, InuTashio did not think he was capable of killing Sesshomaru, not because he feared his son's strength, but because of how much it would break her instead. He could only wish that his son was not as big a fool as he had been in his younger years.

'_Izayoui,'_ the small hand that gripped his was gentle and he prayed for her happiness.

-TBC-

**E/N**:_ So many updates, yay! Lol This is by far one of my personal favorites. I had originally planned to do the story starting with Rin/Sesshomaru's smutty goodness, but this seemed to flow better for me. I liked the idea that Rin would go to InuTashio as a father figure because that was what he is to Sesshomaru. There might be another short to this story, not quite sure. BUT THANK YOU TO ALL THE READERS AND REVIEWERS, you are simply AWESOME!_


	39. Chapter 39

_**Disclaimer:**_ Do not own a damn thing, unless it is the booze I was sipping while writing out this little short.

This story is a little on the darker side and is not suitable for children. If you do not like or want to read a story with dark themes, please do not press forward. I have been throwing around the idea for several months now and I loved the way it turned out. Please keep all flame-throwers turned off.

A First Time for Everything

"**Danger Zone"-** _Gwen Stefani_

Something was telling Sesshomaru that he was in danger. His muscles were aching and throbbing, painful jolts of electricity and numbness spreading from his fingertips and toes, bringing him from unconsciousness slowly. His eyes were heavy and hard to open and even after blinking several times to clear his vision all he could see was darkness.

He should have been at his home, sipping some scotch or reading one of the historical textbooks he had picked up from the bookstore earlier in the week. There was a deadline he had to keep, a translation of Mesopotamian religion from an archeological dig his brother had been on months before. It had been a wonderful find, ancient text, fragile and priceless artifacts and Sesshomaru had been eager to uncover the foreign language.

Wherever he was now, it definitely was not his home, the thick scent of lavender and sandalwood stinging his nose. His home smelled more like pine needles and stale socks; he had forgotten to do his laundry in anticipation for the new material and had let his dirty clothes gather into a pile in his bedroom and hallway. In fact, he had contacted the house cleaning service from the front desk of his high-rise loft and asked to have them send for his laundry as they had done so several times in the past.

He remembered the hesitant knock at his front door as it had interrupted his work mid-sentence and he contemplated canceling the maid service and calling his brother's wife instead. Kagome did not mind helping him during the months his brother was gone and they had a civil relationship, she knew how to gauge his mood and work around him. It was something she had picked up quickly and he admired her for the strength it took to deal with not only his pig-headed half-brother, but Sesshomaru himself as well.

The last of the grogginess burned away and Sesshomaru tried to move his arms to stop the aching and met resistance, he was tied securely in place. His mind raced over the unclear memories desperately trying to figure out where he was and how he ended up in his current situation. It was spotty at best, he remembered opening his front door and glancing half-heartedly at the dark-haired woman in the crisp white cleaning uniform, he remembered she was young, pretty even but anything afterwards was lost to him.

How long had he been captive in this dark place? Was it days, hours, minutes and did anyone even know he was missing? The silence scared him, his errant thoughts filling his mind with worst-case scenarios, or of movie plots he had seen, and though he knew he had to keep his wits about him, the knowledge that he was a dead man would not leave him be. Would his body be mutilated and dumped into a canal, left unrecognizable by anyone until dental records could be provided? Would his captor(s) leave enough of them to be used to identify him? Was this about money, revenge or some random act of violence?

The sound of footsteps thundered in his ears even though he knew they were light and controlled. His heart was beating rapidly, fear pulsing in his veins and he struggled to calm his breathing, to pretend that he was till unconscious until he could get a better idea of what was going on and where he was. Light spilled into the room, temporarily blinding Sesshomaru, his eyes scrunching closed, a pitiful attempt to save his retinas from the intrusion the darkness could not conceal.

"I see you are awake," the voice was feminine, soothing and soft; however, he could not determine if it was friend or foe, doubting the latter.

Soft hands touched his exposed flesh, running down his bicep to his elbow surprising him with the warmth of the contact. He was too wound up to relax, too uncertain of anything besides who he was and it was not a position he knew how to handle. He had never before felt so defenseless, so helpless. It was not a good feeling.

"Where am I?" His voice cracked and his throat burned letting him know his captivity had not been a recent affair.

"You're safe," hands trailed over his clavicle, lightly teasing the sensitive flesh of his chest. She was trying to sooth his heartbeat, he was certain she could feel it and it only served to make him more anxious than he felt. "You're safe."

"Who are you?" Finally, he got his eyes to adjust to the light in the room, his arms still restrained and unable to rub the haziness away.

"Rin," he was in a large room, an attic he guessed by the low beams and dimensions. It told him that he was somewhere in an old residential area, somewhere where old money was a probability. They did not make homes this way anymore, not within the last twenty years and it narrowed down to possibly five different neighborhoods, but only if he was correct. "You know me."

"I do?" She brought a straw to his lips and he drank from the cup in her hand heavily, warm water exploding into his mouth and down his throat, temporarily relieving his sudden thirst.

"Yes," her hair was shorter than he thought it should have been, lying over her full cheeks in a modern bob, choppy layers framing her face and almost giving her a pixie look. It was dark, possibly black or dark brown, it was hard to tell in the fluorescent lighting, but her eyes were big pools of hazel. "Yes, you do."

Her eyes were hypnotic, capturing his attention and refusing to let go. They were soft and clear, alluring and naïve all wrapped together. She looked no older than twenty, twenty-three if he was pushing it and her pain skin seemed to glow with an eerie whiteness, it made him wonder if she was a beautiful figment of his imagination.

The light flickered, snapping him from his thoughts as she put the plastic cup onto a small nightstand, her fingers beginning their feather like tour of his abs, sliding over his belly button and he felt his body jolt as fire erupted in his veins. What was happening to him?

"I've watched you for so long," she cooed dreamily, her head resting on his chest as she rested her body alongside his. "You were so beautiful, so strong and I knew that you and I were soul mates the first time I saw you."

He could feel the buckle of the restraints holding his wrists in place digging onto his skin, feel every inch of his flesh against hers and it repulsed and aroused him at the same time. He was thirsty again, the need almost unbearable and he fought with his body to listen to him, to not react to her. She looked innocent, childlike, but his instincts told Sesshomaru that this Rin was dangerous.

"God gave you to me," lips brushed over the column of his throat, wrenching a gasp of surprise from his lips as chills ran down his spine. This was not happening. "I was a good girl, and he always rewards those who are deserving..."

Sesshomaru was unable to suppress the groan of need as teeth tugged at his earlobe, her wet tongue running across his skin in a way that had desire pooling in his abdomen. His body wanted her, arched into her touch, appeased her needs and begged for the warmth of her.

"I love you Sesshomaru," her voice had gone several octaves lower, a hungry huskiness that was impossible to ignore and when her fingers curled around his need he thought he would die from the ecstasy flowing through him.

"Shhhh," he could not take his eyes from her when she pulled away from him, her hazel orbs staring at him with a longing his body was screaming for. She teased him, her fingers slowly unbuttoning her blouse, pulling the material away and leaving her in only her bra. His mind told him to look away, that this was not right, that his reaction was not normal, but the other part wanted her.

"Rin?" Another voice faintly called out, it was familiar and the woman in front of him froze, her head swinging to glance over her shoulder and Sesshomaru felt the pricks of her blunted nails in his arm. "What the hell-?"

"Get out!" Rin yelled loudly, cooling some of the heat burning in Sesshomaru's loins.

"Oh my god what have you done?" Sesshomaru struggled to put a name to the voice, and when the other occupant came into view, he immediately knew. Kohaku. "Is that InuYasha's brother?"

Sesshomaru felt more than he saw Rin's body tense as Kohaku stomped forward, his hand wrenching the woman from the bed and dragging her away. She screamed shrilly in protest, her fingers clawing for freedom like a caged cat. He would have sworn things happened in slow motion; however, it was quicker than a flash of lightning.

"HE'S MINE!" One moment she had been scrambling for a way out of Kohaku's grasp, the next she managed to get to her feet, an object clutched firmly in the palm of one of her hands. "I WON'T LET YOU TAKE HIM FROM ME!"

Kohaku's body rocked with the power of the first blow, his cry of pain drowned out by the force of Rin's scream. Her arm slammed against the boy again, dropping him to the floor like a sack of potatoes, the sickening thud echoing in Sesshomaru's ear. He could no longer see the two of them, but the gurgling wet sound and the last smack of something solid hitting flesh telling him that it would be a miracle of Kohaku was able to walk away from the aftermath.

"Mine," her voice whispered like a broken record, repeating endlessly, monotone and unnerving.

"Mine," Sesshomaru flinched as Rin's impossibly wide hazel eyes found his gaze, dark specks of red brushed over the bridge of her nose and chin.

Her hands touched him, roamed over his body and the heat came flooding back to him as if it had never left. He was disgusted at his reaction to her, towards the violence but he could not stop it. She was more than dangerous, even if you ignored the body undoubtedly in the background. She was deadly. The way her lips tasted him, her tongue sampling the salt from his sweat, her hushed moans of appreciation as she took him into her body, she was devouring him and he was helpless.

"Mine," he could not deny her any of him, she knew how to make him beg for her and in time, she would have him yearning for her. Soon he would belong to her, body, mind and soul, unable to breathe without her. He was hers.

"Mine…"


	40. Chapter 40

_**Disclaimer:**_ Do not own a damn thing, unless it is the booze I was sipping while writing out this little short.

This story is a companion piece to "Painters" (writing exercise). I guess it is a little OOC, but sometimes that cannot be helped. I recommend listening to the song.

A First Time for Everything

"_Kiss it all better"_ –**He is We**

"Happy Birthday Sesshomaru!"

They were supposed to be happy words, something to lift his spirits and enjoy the day that had signified his entry into the world. Instead it reminded him of the misery he could not get rid of, it reminded him on how even a man as stoic and strong as himself could be rendered nothing more than a crying child. Sesshomaru did not want to listen to the carefree voice, did not want to be reminded of the pain; however, like an addict he found himself replaying it, saving it and fueling the ache he felt in his heart. "I'll be over at your place around eight or so, I just have to run a few more errands. Hope you get this message before then."

There were reasons why he did not like celebrating holidays, why he had kept to himself for so long. It was easier than feeling this way. Days moved slowly, so slow that half the time he wondered if they moved at all. He worked, not because he liked to, no—not anymore, he worked because it allowed his mind to shut down, no errant thoughts, and no emotions he could not handle. He worked because without it he was unsure how to stay sane.

"Sir?" The voice was soft and slightly hesitant and sighing heavily he saved the spreadsheet he had been working on and glanced at the woman calling for his attention.

"Yes?" He pulled the wire-framed glasses from his face and set them down on his desk.

"I'll be leaving for the night," He nodded and watched woman shoulder the large purse she carried, her cartoon covered scrubs doing nothing to improve the mood of the room.

The woman did not wait for him to get up from behind his desk, she did not expect him to walk her out to her car despite the late hour nor did she require a verbal dismissal having been under his employment for the past several months. Sesshomaru waited silently until he heard the click of the front door closing before he rose, his long legs carrying him out of his office and to the door, turning the deadbolt and securing the chain. It was added protection he would have never believed in before now; however, it was a precaution he needed to help ease his mind. He needed added protection, not for himself but for the precious treasure he kept within his home, the reason for his pain.

The entire house was void of sounds besides the beeping of monitors and the crackle of a baby monitor. He sighed heavily allowing his gaze to wander over the fine furnishings, the leather couches and expensive paintings that littered his home. He had spent years curating them, hunting them down and adding them to his collection and never once had he thought that parting with them would be an option. Several pieces however, no longer collected dust, their faint left over shadow reminding him that his job did not procure enough monetary gain as he would have liked. Clients did not want the help of a man who thought of something other than them, did not want a distraction and his middle name was now 'distracted'. Sure, he still got by, quite decently in fact; but in home nursing assistants were not cheap and his health insurance would not cover the expense, so everything was out of pocket.

No longer did he dine out at extravagant restaurants or buy expensive handmaid suits, he had become more frugal in his spending habits, tossing more than half of his paycheck into a savings account in hopes that he could keep himself afloat if the worst happened and he found himself unable to continue working. Several members of his family offered to help with the skyrocketing bills, their eyes showing him pity and pain and he refused. He did not want to see the look in their faces directed at him, he had to find a way to keep himself above water emotionally and could not do it if they felt sorry for him. Sesshomaru was stronger than that, he would get through his.

The microwave buzzed loudly and he removed the now heated frozen dinner from it, the smell making him slightly nauseous, there was no getting used to the overly processed food, the cardboard taste of mystery meat filled with nitrates and unhealthy fats. He would endure this dark time and the hope he wanted to believe in was locked tightly in his chest. The frozen dinner was dumped down the garbage disposal after a few bites and instead Sesshomaru found himself pouring a fifth of scotch into a glass and welcoming the burn of the beverage as it slid down his throat and warmed his stomach.

It was easier to forget his lack of an appetite when alcohol was involved. He did not care if his slacks no longer fit, that he had to make new slots for his belt or that he was thinner than he had been in several years, but he ate enough to keep him going. When the last of the scotch was emptied from his glass, he sighed heavily rinsing out the glass and placing it into the dishwasher, the night would only continue to grow later, the silence of his home growing unbearable until dawn greeted him and a new day began.

"Sesshomaru," his brother InuYasha's voice disturbed the silence and it startled him until he realized that it was his answering machine. When had his phone rang? Was it on silent again? "Dad's flown down for the next week or two, he's been asking about how you're doing and wants to see you. I'll be bringing him over tomorrow afternoon. He's worried about you," there was a pause and a heavy sigh "We are all worried about you. Call me when you get this."

He wanted to delete the offending message, pretend that he had ever heard his brother's apparent concern and go on with his night, but he could not find the strength to push the button. He did not want to admit that he was slowly drowning, that he needed help, not when he was too independent. He did not want his family or anyone else for that matter know that he was weak, that he was hurting, despite knowing that they already knew. His fingers switched lights off as he made his rounds around the house, picking up clothing he had dropped carelessly and putting them away.

His home was a ghost town, he mused while changing his clothing for a pair of comfortable flannel pants and a t-shirt. They were a gift, one that he now cherished and hated as he felt a pang of pain pierce his chest. They had the superman insignia all over, the bottoms slightly frayed from age and constant wear, yet he would continue to sleep in them until they fell apart at the seams, and perhaps longer still. The large king-sized bed was made and sterile, blankets pulled tightly across the mattress and he eyed it, ignoring the bitterness swelling in his chest. He had not slept in his bed in easily nine or so months, the same length of time that misery had been a living companion in his life.

How could he sleep in a bed that was a reminder to something he no longer had? It hurt him too much to try, made him feel lonely and angry, so he avoided it. Instead, he wandered down the darkened hallway into the guest room, fluorescent light hurting his eyes until they adjusted to the harsh light. The room was once been filled from floor to ceiling with bookshelves, a tribute to his once comfortable lifestyle, though now it was filled with a twin sized bed and several high-tech machines. His personal effects were long since boxed up and placed into storage, where he was certain they would stay until his money began to run out.

Thoughts like that left a bad taste in his mouth, it made him feel unworthy of all the happy moments and memories he experienced. Shaking them from his mind, Sesshomaru settled himself in the uncomfortable chair next to the monitors and bed, and focused his attention to the creature that was the cause of all his grief. Some nights he tried hard to believe that his reality was all a dream, that the woman lying prone in the bed in front of him was only asleep and would wake with a silly smile on her face, her eyes laughing at his worry and unfounded anxiety. She would not wake—he already knew as much.

"Sesshomaru," his father's voice echoed down the halls, he would have to find his phone and turn on the ringer, and he would eventually have to start answering it again if he did not want his brother attempting to break down his front door, again… "It's your father, InuYasha is picking me up from the airport and I would like to stop by and see you. I understand what you are going through, I know that it hurts, but it will get better I promise. Please don't shut us out, you don't have to do this alone…"

Her hand was warm in his and just as smooth as he remembered. If he looked close enough under the harsh lighting he could see the faint scars and stich marks that marred her alabaster skin. It had taken a long time for him to grow confident enough to touch her again without the fear that it would hurt her. Did she even feel pain now? A lump formed in the back of his throat remembering every bruise and cut, every gash and bandage that covered her, they made her look alien and nothing like the beautiful woman he had fallen so helplessly in love with. The surgeons who operated on her could only shake their heads at his questions, their expertise telling him that she may be alive on the outside, but there was no guarantee that she was still with him on the inside.

It was the machines that kept her alive at first, her heart having stopped several times before she even made it to the nearest hospital. One of the paramedics was a friend of the family, if the term friend was used loosely and Sesshomaru's heart broke every time he relived that night.

_Dinner was prepared and waiting in the oven, a bottle of champagne chilling in a bucket of ice and he was finishing a few spreadsheets for work that could have easily waited. She claimed to be minutes away and a glance at the clock told him that she was over an hour late but he did not mind too much, as sometimes she let time simply get the best of her. She would arrive though, he knew that much and when she did they would celebrate his thirtieth birthday the way she had begged for._

"_Sesshomaru!" A pounding at his door startled him and he saved his work, rolling up his sleeves to his elbows, leave it to his brother InuYasha to interrupt his plans for a quiet dinner with her. "Sesshomaru open up! It's an emergency!"_

"_Go away InuYasha," he replied debating if he would answer the door._

"_Open the door you asshole!" There had been something wrong in his brother's tone, something that pulled at the back of his mind. "Koga called, Rin's been in an accident, we've got to go to the hospital!"_

"_You promised no practical jokes," Sesshomaru frowned opening the door. InuYasha's hair was a mess, his shirt untucked and in complete disarray. _

"_You're lying!" How he had gotten to the hospital Sesshomaru did not know; however he could feel his world falling apart as he struggled out of the arms that held him back. "YOU'RE LYING!"_

_ There was blood on his shirt, on his knuckles but he did not care. Sesshomaru had seen her through the small emergency room window, faceless hospital personnel swirling around her in a mess of color and shouts, her blood spilling from numerous wounds, her black hair falling off the gurney like a rainbow of darkness. His whole world was tipping on its axis, people he did not know touching his precious Rin, slicing her open chest, putting tubes down her throat and nose, hurting her and his family was trying to keep him from going to her. _

_ She died twice in front of his own eyes, his yells ignored as family and strangers alike wrestled him out of the halls and towards the waiting room. This was not happening to him, to them!_

"Rin," Sesshomaru had been unable to say her name aloud, too afraid that if he said it she would simply vanish and he would be left truly alone. It had been a horrible accident, they told him. An elderly man simply had a seizure while driving home and lost control of his vehicle, the one that slammed into Rin and somehow the force of one vehicle hitting hers was enough to send her sedan over the freeway overpass and down onto oncoming traffic. Sesshomaru was told that Rin was lucky, that the traffic had been light and that her car had not landed on another or else she would have died instantly.

Instead she was alive, but in a coma, machines monitoring her to alert Sesshomaru if she slipped away from him. He could have kept her at the hospital, at home care, he was warned might not be what was best for her condition, but he did not think he could handle seeing her in a cold place. The hospital staff did not know Rin like Sesshomaru, she needed him close by, to help her get better. He needed her to be close.

"P-Please," he whispered brokenly as he slid into the bed next to her still form, his lips pressing a chaste kiss on her forehead. He was breaking all over again. "Please come back to me."

He held her lightly in his arms, the soft even pulls of her breath lulling him into a light sleep. He already spent one birthday waiting in utter agony, he did not want to spend this one with pain in his chest and alone. There had to be a miracle waiting with her name on it, his Rin deserved one and he would try to be strong for the both of them.

Tomorrow he would ask for help.

E/N: I'm already starting the last part to this little story, not certain on how it will turn out, but hope for the best.


	41. Chapter 41

_**Disclaimer:**_ Do not own a damn thing, unless it is the booze I was sipping while writing out this little short.

_This was surprisingly easy to write until the end, I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I had a good chuckle after I cried a little (yes, I am silly that way) I recommend listening to the song while you read, I know I did while writing! Lol ENJOY!_

_A First Time for Everything_

"_Change_" -Carrie Underwood

The months seemed to blend together now that he no longer had access to the center of his world, he no longer had a concept of time. All he knew was that at some point the sun would rise and eventually it would set. His home was always quiet besides the blips and beeps of the machines that kept his remaining sanity intact. No longer could he stand the sounds of music or the television set. They reminded him of what it meant to be human and happy.

His heart ached, letting him know that he was still able to feel, a throb he found himself unable to rub away. Life had become difficult to handle, so much once he reached his breaking point, his family worried if he was capable of taking care of himself. Truthfully, he doubted it himself and the moment he asked for help he felt as if he lost a part of himself he could not get back.

His father held him in a tight embrace not felt since he was a young boy and he had melted under the strength. Sesshomaru cried that night, deep quaking sobs bruising his ribs and leaving him unable to stand. His world already crumbled, rebuilt itself on defective molding and was now turning into dust. He did not know how much longer he would be able to carry on as he did.

No longer was there sunshine in his life, the blackened tunnel long and unyielding, claws of depression tearing at his skin and his wounds never healing. His father stayed with him for the following two weeks before work demanded his return, and for Sesshomaru it was both a blessing and a curse.

With his father there Sesshomaru was forced to interact with people, forced to hold an intelligent conversation and it reminded him that though he might feel dead on the inside, he was still breathing. Cursed because he could not escape the reality that one tiny woman had the power to pull the rug out from underneath him and destroy him. He missed her.

She was everything he wanted and even if she was still with him in the physical sense, she was slowly killing him. He woke every morning in a cold sweat, the night of his thirtieth birthday replaying in his dreams and each time he rushed to her room to make sure she was still breathing. Making sure that the monitors were still working properly. She was not dead, but neither was she alive, and seeing her in the constant state of in between began to make him bitter.

If she had died he could have forced himself to move on with his life. It would have been the most painful thing he had to do, but it would have let him build a shell around his heart. He would mourn, but the knowledge that she was in a better place would have eased the ache of losing her. He was not a spiritual man, but the idea of place of heaven for Rin was better than watching her practically lifeless day in and day out.

It was a horrible feeling that he could not squash; however, the idea of pulling the plug and allowing her to simply pass on was not something Sesshomaru was strong enough to do. He did not have to admit it, his stubbornness was plain to see and he was grateful that his family never brought up the subject. Fate or destiny had to have something planned for him, otherwise they would have taken Rin from him when were presented with the option. She had to be in there somewhere, waiting in the dark for the day she would be set free and allowed to return to him.

"Have you finished the file yet?" His father's voice was soft and questioning. His entire family treated him with kid gloves, not willing to decipher his mood and risk an explosion of emotions ranging from uncaring to rage.

"No," Sesshomaru put the pen down on the desk, his eyes straining to read the words he had been staring at for several minutes.

After his little episode, his father tried convincing him to move closer to home where he could be around family. At first he refused, he did not want his family to witness his pain, despite his initial tears; however, his decision was made for him when the nurse he hired to watch over Rin tried to play God and end his suffering. He had come home from the office (something he had been unable to avoid) to hear the machines keeping Rin alive screaming for attention. His heart had plummeted into his stomach as he dropped the files in his hand and his briefcase, papers flying out and littering his floor.

He arrived home an hour earlier than he had told the caretaker, only to find her standing over his Rin, a pillow placed firmly over her face slowly suffocating to death. Never before had Sesshomaru hit a woman, but no one begrudged him for breaking the woman's arm and fracturing a few of her ribs. The police officers who arrested him gave him the courtesy of waiting for his brother InuYasha to arrive before handcuffing Sesshomaru and hauling him down on assault and battery charges, to which he was grateful for.

Rin had been rushed to the hospital later than night while Sesshomaru waited for his bail to be paid when the machine hooked to her oxygen malfunctioned and InuYasha panicked. Sesshomaru did not bother to fight his family anymore once he was released and had Rin transported to his father's home where more eyes could keep watch. A suit was filed against the caretaker and currently still pending.

Sesshomaru wanted to believe that he did not need his family to help him, that he was still capable of doing everything that was needed, but after the first week, he realized how little he had slept before. Izayoui, his stepmother forced him back into the living world, engaging him in conversations that required him to use his brain. She refused to let him live as if he was a mindless zombie and though he hated it, he appreciated her effort. She was not the type to let a dog to hide in a corner to lick its wounds and it reminded him of Rin.

Izayoui made him miss Rin so desperately.

"Sesshomaru?" Izayoui's tone was light and pleasant, snapping him out of his thoughts.

More time had passed without him noticing, the shadows falling over the wood of his desk telling him that the sun was setting, another day lost. How much longer would he stay stuck where he was, just drifting through life without a hint of when or where he was? How many more days, weeks, months or years would it take until he was completely hollow inside and out?

"Yes?" Even his own voice was devoid of life. It should have scared him, but it did not.

"You look exhausted," her hands touched his shoulders, squeezing them gently in a mothering gesture, he could feel the concern and worry pouring out of her. "Why don't you take a break for the night and go lay down? I'm sure your father can finish up on his own."

Sesshomaru paused for a moment, his tired eyes glancing down at the file in front of him. He was not surprised besides a few misspelled words littering the legal document, his mind was no longer interested in anything other than his mental stability (or lack thereof). Moving the pen on the desk, he sighed heavily, his fingers subconsciously slipping to the bridge of his nose attempting in vain to relieve some of the pressure building in his head. She was right.

"Alright," no fight was left in him as he acquiesced docilely to Izayoui's suggesting, allowing her to herd him out of the office and down the hall to the bedroom in which he stayed.

"Get some rest Sesshomaru," her motherly gestures should have been left to someone better able to receive them as intended, but he nodded faintly before closing the door behind him.

Sleep was doubtful with the errant thoughts multiplying by the hundredths, yet he attempted while slipping off his slacks in favor of one of the few pairs of novelty pajamas he had left. It took him a moment to process his surroundings having forgotten to turn on the fluorescent lights, but once he recognized the glass of water and two white pills on his nightstand he could have laughed. Izayoui was a sneaky, underhanded and yet thoughtful creature. It amused him to think she had manipulated him to his room where she obviously placed a pair of sleeping pills in a location he could not avoid.

The medication left Sesshomaru with an unsavory aftertaste and severe cottonmouth and after a moment of weighing the pros and cons, he picked up the small pills and swallowed them with a sip of water. They felt heavy in his stomach, like an ominous cloud. He paid no mind to it readying himself for bed, going through the monotonous routine of washing his face and brushing his teeth, foregoing flossing as he had no real motivation to do so. Running his fingers through his hair, Sesshomaru patted his face dry and wiped his bottom lip, his eyes not quite reaching up to his reflection. He did not want to look at himself just then.

"Your mother thought it best for you to call it quits tonight," his father stood with his hip leaning against Sesshomaru's dresser, arms crossed loosely over his chest.

"Father," he did not want to start a fight, but his reaction was habit, "Izayoui is not my mother, please refrain from referring to her as such in my presence."

This was an age-old argument, one neither of them had been able to win and on any other occasion Sesshomaru would have scoffed and continued to heatedly debate it ignoring the truth that he cared dearly for his father's second wife. Instead, he sat on the edge of the bed, picking up the two pills on his nightstand with a feeling of deja vu before chasing them down his throat with the half-empty glass from his nightstand.

The thick air disappeared from the room surrounding him once he set the glass back down, his father's amber eyes filled with pity and concern. The look was one of the many reasons why Sesshomaru was unable to look at his own reflection-he did not want to see those eyes reflecting from his own face. He did not want to see the evidence of his downward spiral into depression.

"Well either way," his father cleared his throat louder than needed, his silver hair falling over his dark silk covered shoulders like a meteor shower in the dead of night. His family always had a flare for the dramatics in spite of it consisting mainly of the male gender. "Your mother would like for you to join us tonight for dinner if you are up for it, InuYasha is here and we haven't had a family dinner in a long time."

Since before Rin's accident, Sesshomaru mentally added biting back the pangs of desperation filling his chest. Rin had been the referee between his and InuYasha's "childish" quarreling, a godsend to their father and Izayoui, though Sesshomaru doubted there would be any disagreements tonight. He was not up to eating with them, he already knew such; however, his feelings aside, an appearance by him was definite. They were watching his eating habits, thanks to basic stubborn pigheadedness in the family and the slimness of his waning muscle mass. Sesshomaru was positive they had every right to be worried, if he had the strength to, he would be as well.

Dinner, much to his surprise was quiet and almost enjoyable. InuYasha was his arrogant self, yet his younger brother had the world to be grateful for. Kagome was pregnant, again, and they were eagerly anticipating the new arrival to their ever-growing family. It made Sesshomaru slightly bitter. InuYasha, after all, was the younger of the two of them and ignoring that Sesshomaru in his earlier years was repulsed by the idea of actively participating in the overpopulation of the country, it was the simple fact that _HE_ did not have the option. Childish jealousy was never beneath Sesshomaru, he however, knew how to hide it better from people.

"It's good to see you smile again," InuYasha grabbed Sesshomaru, pulling him into an awkward hug. Sesshomaru did not mind the brotherly gesture as much as he would have in the past, the contact from another person helped calm his nerves.

"Do not flatter yourself," he said instead, shoving his hands into his pockets trying to calm his rapidly beating heart, he was starting to feel sluggish. "I have not been sleeping well these last few weeks, I was thinking about Rin."

The startled expression on Sesshomaru's face amused him, his eyebrows rising in a curious arch baiting InuYasha to say anything else. Simple pleasures, Sesshomaru only had a few left available to him and so what if he exploited them every once in a while. Instead of retorting in the usual InuYasha fashion, his brother merely excused himself, turning and slipping down the hallway. Rolling his eyes was juvenile and Sesshomaru refrained, just barely choosing to excuse himself as well from the dining room in favor of a room he found more tranquil.

The hums and steady beeps of the monitors helped relaxing the muscles in his back and shoulders, the soft light easing the strain on his eyes he had not noticed earlier. Rin's bed was in the middle of the room, surrounded by floral wallpaper Izayoui felt would help anchor Rin to the real world. It was an empty room besides the necessities, sterile and uninviting, just how Sesshomaru preferred it.

He did not care if others came and went, though he knew they seldom did. He was told on countless occasions that it was cruel and unusual, and destroying him little by little, holding onto her as he did. They did not understand that he could not continue living now if he had to place her in a grave or an urn. She was too deep in his tiny hollowed out heart, chained to his arteries and he would not even attempt to try to remove her from her place.

His hands trailed gently over the white linen blanket that covered her pale flesh keeping her from the chill in the air-conditioned house. She appeared to be merely sleeping, the blankets tucked under her arms, her long raven hair flowing around her in a halo of black. Her small lips were pouted, even in her death like sleep, her long lashes teasing him and filling him with emotions he saved only for her to see. He kissed her forehead gently, smiling softly at the memories that infiltrated his head of all the nights spent with the woman below him and the way she laughed, loud and unyielding, her appetite for him vivacious and spontaneous. She believed in loving life she lived, with everything she had in her, the saying "Go all out or go home" her creed of sorts.

Left unsupervised for more than a few moments, Sesshomaru was not surprised when the door opened behind him and his brother entered. His family was not known for their sense of privacy after all and he sighed heavily throwing an irritated glance over his shoulder. InuYasha did not glare back, his usual trademark response, instead holding up a glass of water and a bottle with a determination that no longer bothered Sesshomaru. His stomach protested, his amber eyes watching his brother open the bottle, three white pills spilling onto his open palm. Sesshomaru already knew what his brother wanted, what his entire family wanted from him so he denied himself a snort of disgust.

"Please," InuYasha rarely asked him for anything that was not found as important, yet ignoring the way his body protested at the thought of what those pills would do to him, he washed them down his throat without a fight. The sooner InuYasha's worries were put to rest, the sooner Sesshomaru would be free from those hauntingly watchful eyes.

"Are you satisfied?" his stomach was beginning to cramp, his fingers tingling numbly and all he wanted to do was lie down and sleep. How odd…

"No," InuYasha retorted softly, his hand rubbing the back of his neck guiltily. "But thanks for humoring me."

"Leave me," he sat at the edge of Rin's bed, his gaze fixing on her and counting the seconds until his command was followed.

The quiet click of the door closing behind his brother relaxed the few stubborn muscles in his lower back. Rolling his shoulders tiredly, Sesshomaru fitted himself on the bed alongside Rin, maneuvering her head to lie on his chest. He was ready to sleep now, ready to slip into a dream world where Rin was alive, laughing and most important to him, holding him close.

0-o-0

'_Mommy wake up!' The clouds were white and beautiful, the sky bluer than anything she had seen outside a watercolor painting but the tiny voice was insistent and she could not ignore it. Time moved slower than she was used to feeling almost dream like sometimes, yet how could she be dreaming when her life was exactly how it was supposed to be? She was married to the man she had been in love with for more than a decade, blessed with two small children that resembled both her and her husband in the best of ways and she was happy. _

_Life was not always sunshine and rainbows, the rain was still cold and some nights were frightening; however, it was her life and she was thankful for it. The tugging on her skirt was persistent and she smiled at the brown haired girl barely tall enough to reach her hip, a pair of expressive molten amber eyes staring up at her. Her daughter would be five in the summer and Rin could not help but feel at a loss at how quickly she was growing. Soon enough it would be time for school and the idea of it was thrilling and worrisome all wrapped together in a jumble of other emotions she could not quite place. _

'_What's up baby?' her arms pulled her daughter into a light hug, the small child squirming uncharacteristically in her arms. It made Rin frown at the protesting child._

'_You need to wake up mommy, it's time to go!' Alarms were going off in her head, something was not right and she could not place her finger on it. 'You can't be late! Hurry mommy, hurry!'_

_The world around her began to darken, gusts of wind blowing her hair around her, stray strands whipping around and stinging her eyes. Her chest heaved as she panted for breath, the sky darkening to a golden red, clouds circling together forming a cyclone of colors. Pain erupted along her spine, her mouth opening wide as a silent scream wracked her body and she collided with something heavy, stealing her from her family and knocking her into the darkness. _

She could hear the quickening beeps and sounds chiming in time to her racing heart and she fought to claw her way out of the darkness, elation filling her as the edges of her vision turned gray until her eyes opened. Her throat ached the sudden feeling of dehydration skipping over her as she wetted her chapped lips with the tip of her tongue. It took her mind a few moments to restart while she stared up at a white ceiling, her muscles heavy and unresponsive. Where was she? How did she get here? Where were her children?

Rin took a few deep breaths until she felt slightly less frantic, repeating silly mantras for peace in her mind until she felt she would not scream. The sounds quieted, the steady beeps reminding her of a heart monitor. The familiar warmth next to her centered her thoughts and shifting her head weakly she felt her heart skip a beat. This was not her Sesshomaru. His face was pale, dark rings around his closed eyes, his once proud cheekbones sunken in as if he had been drained of all his blood. The long silver hair she had always admired and been jealous of him for was gone and replaced with a short style that she would have fought tooth and nail never to see on him. It made him look older, more exhausted and nothing like the man she loved.

When did he decide to chop all of his hair off? Was this some kind of nightmare? Where was her daughter, both of them? She tried to call his name, her throat cracking with dryness that still confused her, but was frustrated when the only thing that came was a silent whisper. What had happened to her? Getting her arm to move was almost impossible and it exhausted her; however, she could still feel the building fear in stomach telling her that she needed to see Sesshomaru's eyes. Her hand shook as it touched him, his smooth skin setting off butterflies in her chest the way she remembered his touch had always affected her, his face unusually pliant.

She shook him harder, her silent voice calling to him, begging him to look at her and after a few minutes without any response, desperation began to gnaw at her. Hundreds of different thoughts ran rampant through her mind, none of which appeased her growing concern. Was he breathing? A sob worked its way out of her mouth and immediately she knew she had to get help. Her body ached as if she had been asleep for a lifetime, the muscles in her legs off somewhere on vacation and she cursed trying to sit up and instead plummeting off the side of the bed onto the floor, a loud crashing of those beeping machines assailing her ears.

"Help," she did not care if she injured her larynx and could never speak again, as long as her voice would work now and bring someone to her aid. "Help!"

She tore the small tubes from her arms along with the tiny wires, her hands reaching for the nightstand in an attempt to get herself to stand. Her fumbling fingers held on for dear life as she pulled herself to her knees, sweat rolling down her face and neck, her pleas growing slightly louder, but not enough to alert anyone. What if Sesshomaru was dead? This could not be happening to her, she refused to believe in a world without him and the idea of him dying angered him. Fighting back the tears beginning to run down her cheeks, Rin reached for the glass of water on the nightstand, her fingers wrapping tightly around it and with a burst of adrenaline, she threw it at the wall.

The sound of glass shattering was followed by the scream of anguish she couldn't hold back, the echoes ringing in her ears. She was breathing raggedly when the door swung open, familiar faces pouring into the room in a mixture of shock and fear. InuYasha's expression under any other circumstance would have made her laugh; however, now she did not think she could even manage a smile. Hands pulled at her, dragging her to uncooperative feet and digging her nails into the fabric of InuYasha's shirt she clung to him.

"Help him," she choked, her hair falling into her eyes. "He won't wake up, please InuYasha."

Everything in her world changed after that, the frantic cries, the sounds voices and cries as strange people raced against time to rush Sesshomaru to the nearest hospital. The faces meshed together, her life stuck between fast forward and slow motion and she fought, her screams echoing down the hospital hallways when the nurses pulled her away from Sesshomaru. She was afraid of what would happen to him if he left her sight that somehow he would disappear from her completely when all she wanted to do was hold onto him for dear life. The threat of sedation quieted her instantly and Rin allowed herself to be wheeled into an empty room only to be hooked up to machines herself. They tested her, took countless vials of blood and by time Sesshomaru was brought to the bed next to her she was ready to start pulling out her hair.

The doctors later told InuYasha and his family it had been an overdose, and the silver haired men had gone deathly pale. It was a mistake, Sesshomaru was not suicidal, and it was the worried family around him who almost stole her love away. The reasoning had been on good intentions, yet with Sesshomaru's mental state, he had consumed too many sleeping piles in under a few hours and his body began to shut down. Rin refused to believe that her Sesshomaru was unstable, not understanding the circumstances. The InuYasha finally broke down and explained it all to her she felt her heart breaking.

"I'm sorry Rin," his story was ridiculous, it had to be even if her gut told her he was being truthful.

Two and a half years. She had lost two and a half years of her life all the while unintentionally draining the life out of Sesshomaru. Misery filled her, she had managed to destroy the man she loved without lifting a finger and it frightened her. Would Sesshomaru still love her now that she was awake having put him through such pain and suffering? Would he hate her? She was not sure if she could live with herself if he had.

She spent countless days in the cold sanitized room, pacing when her legs would hold her, lying next to Sesshomaru when she felt too exhausted to move. She was afraid to fall asleep, afraid to be away from Sesshomaru and she wondered if this was anything close to how she made Sesshomaru feel for the last two and a half years. She talked to him every minute she could, promising him things she was unsure she could keep, but more than willing to move heaven and hell trying. She ignored the nurses and even Izayoui and Inutashio when they tried herding her back to her own bed, Rin refused to let herself be manipulated by anyone when it came to Sesshomaru.

"Rin?" She had been drawing circles and flowers on his chest again her ear pressed against him listening to his even breathing and lulling heartbeat that she almost missed his whisper.

"Sesshomaru?" Her heart skipped a beat as her head jerked up and her gaze meeting a pair of hazy amber orbs.

"Am I dreaming?" his voice was softer than she ever remembered it being and the hesitancy made her ache something horrible. She had done this to him.

"No, I promise this is real," She could not help herself as she crushed her lips against his, drinking from his mouth like a starving animal. "I promise Sesshomaru, I'm real."

His fingers dug into the flesh of her hips, grinding her flush against him, meeting her halfway for another taste of her. He was ravenous, igniting a fire in her belly that could not be ignored. They needed to reassure themselves, needed to feel the other, knowing that pleasure would come later. Rin gasped as Sesshomaru pulled her onto him, his eagerness filling her immediately and after a moment, she sighed in relief feeling him move inside her hesitantly as if she would break with misplaced touch.

Finally, she was home.

_**E/N:**_ Well I was tempted to make a fourth part, but decided against it. The song itself made me a little weepy, so it was pretty cool that this came from a little crying! Lol


End file.
